Watercolour
by gypsywoman1
Summary: Sequel to The Space In Between. The Third Installment to Feel So Numb Series. DISCLAIMER/We do NOT own Supernatural.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**** We do NOT own Supernatural nor any lyrics displayed in this story. **

**Note:**** FULL story Rated M for language, sex and violence. This is the Sequel to The Space in Between, otherwise known as the Third in the Feel So Numb storyline. This takes place after Feel So Numb ended, takes place also during Space and picks up after Space later on. We hope you enjoy and if you are squeamish by any of the means in the Rated M topic, maybe you shouldn't be reading this but if you do then it's on you not us. Thank you for reading.**

**-Wynter & Tori**

A mouth parted with a scream loud enough to shake the chains the voice was attached to. The space was infinitely dark and frigid cold the only reprieve was the scorching flash of preternatural white lightning that seared the flesh that was exposed to it. Flash after flash the reek of sweet smelling meat filled the space while blood boiled from the wounds as hot as the screams that poured from the mouth. The chains shook, ripping through the wounds twisting tendons around them and slicing into bone like butter for the marrow to pour out and infect the blood.

The voice fought to overpower the crash of thunder that rippled across the expanse of the sky, if it was indeed a sky and not some colossal vaulted ceiling that had trapped a mighty storm inside it's confines. Unable to bear the weight of it's own body the muscles snapped, chains ripped through hip and shoulder and the body fell screaming being beaten by dozens upon dozens of chains on the way down. Hitting the ground like an meteor, the figure writhed like a thousand insects were upon it, rough leather straps with no ties or buckles were fastened around dirty, bloody thighs with pale skin showing through and what might have been freckles. Leather also bound hips and between legs, stretching up to constrict around the chest and neck tight enough to cut skin.

Demons swarmed to greet the newly arrived, circling around like a school of black slithering fish. In the eye of the cyclone was the figure fighting against the bindings and convulsing, their body seized and relaxed in painful angles as if what was inside was to large for the frame. Back bowing a scream ripped from the throat with thick bloody spittle, the noise wasn't even human and the sound made some demons shriek and cover their ears bowing away for other more curious ones to take their places. What creature was this before them that none, not even the most brave and sadistic, would venture near?

Dust swirled around with each snapped movement like it was being pulled with the motion of the figure though they didn't touch it. Back bowed in a high arc ashen dust blasted out from the circumference of the body and they turned onto their hands and knees spine rippling and shoulder blades angling upwards. The faint tattoo that could be made out sank into the skin before twin sharp and evil shapes pierced through the flesh of the shoulder blades. A violent gust of wind rose upwards to fill the eye of the cyclone, two great wings that were at once terrifying to behold and too difficult to see stretched out in the silhouette of ashen cloud before disappearing.

The leather straps with patterns and symbols burned into them fell useless to the black smudged floor, turning to ash themselves. Some of the demons realized what was happening before them and they ran into the black not caring if their brethren were to follow or stay behind to their fate. Laughter filled the spaces in between where the demons swirled, some still curious and others too afraid to move and follow those that had enough sense about them to flee. The naked figure stood, long wild auburn hair tumbling down a curved back to their ass, thick curls and waves tossed up in their own breeze.

Licking razor sharp fangs with hunger without warning a blazing silver white light flared out from the figure consuming the darkness and every demon in its path. The horde screamed in unison as the divine light destroyed them and the very space in which the figure stood was brought down in ruin. Turning on their heel their hips swayed gently side to side as they walked, the ground quivering and repulsed as it fought in futility against the dire power of the being that walked upon it.

Descending into the black with a smile a cacophony of screams followed, blood curdling and abrupt but once they were cut off permanently from their vocal cords being ripped out their was nothing but the drip, drip patter of blood and other fluids sliding down the tumbled walls. A storm of destruction followed behind the divinity, crushing walls as easily as bones into dust, no intentionally focused thoughts required it was simply the force of the being's will that brought a violent end to the things that existed around it. Another laugh peeled from it's mouth, dark, beautiful and ominous carrying throughout the caverns like a death knell.

888

A scream rippled in the space. One of pain, blood and even the memories of once before. A birth never really finished and only beginning to pick up where left off before the baby could really be let free to do whatever. Crying followed shortly after and it peeked demons interests as they turned their heads and slithered, crawled and latched on to certain areas to view the soul being tortured. Alex shivered, fear in her gut as she shook from side to side, her limbs crazy in the restraints needing to get out. Everything was horrible and frightening. She had remembered the moment of death, she had remembered it and then she was here where immediately things fell upon her like vultures. Winged creates with faces that held rotted eyes and sharp crooked teeth. Claws ripping into her flesh and tugging to remove her from her position but she wouldn't budge.

"DEAN!" she screamed.

Hell. She was in Hell and she cried, out of her whole life she never wanted to come back again and now that she was here it was like some nightmare she wanted to wake up from. Though she'd never wake up, not ever. Her frame was vibrating from pain and cries and she frantically looked all around, meeting eyes that were solely on her. Hungry, pleased and holding familiarity in them. They knew who she was. Alex whimpered and screamed again as a mouth latched onto her side, gnawing and pulling, jerking her body one way while another was trying the other direction.

No first layer for her, no first layer of Hell, no second, no third and so on and so forth, no she was on another level, she was in the area that anyone could venture to have their fill. After all it was Alex Tatiani, the one that had betrayed them years ago and was alive once more. She was now in their hands and they could finally have the fun they longed to have with her, some of them in the form of rape and torture and others in the form of wanting to kill her over and over again to see that light go out of her eyes. Watch that humanity she had inside her drown till it was minuscule or nonexistent. She was screaming for someone who had been there before, for someone that would never come and one that she in turn betrayed before coming back.

A claw tearing from her chest down to her crotch made her choke on her own blood as it flashed in her face and bubbled up in her throat. Brunette hair matted with ash, dirt and other fluids, her body just the same and ruined. No more of what others would have called tanned and toned but torn and defiled. Clothes were nothing but scraps that had been devoured in the process of tasting her sweet flesh and blood and she writhed. A loud bark filled the so called air around the demons and their victim and they immediately stopped and scrambled away, making clicking, hissing and laughing sounds.

Leon watched the others separate with a look of disdain and anger. Opening his mouth as if to yell he then grinned and flipped them off. "Run along worthless yuppies, this one is mine to handle. You'll all get your time with her when I take my lunch breaks. Scurry away now," he voiced, the sound causing screeches float into the air with wings and other sounds of grumbles and whimpers of fear. No one liked Leon, but no one would dare stand up to him.

The brunette brought her head to stare at the demon walking towards her, setting the hell hound he had brought with his loose so he could have his own way of fun. Leon with his brown hair in small waves as he had let it grow just slightly longer than what Dean's length was but not too long to look disgusting. Green orbs with a shot of hazel blinked at her and he looked her over. The other had done a good job on her but nothing compared to what he was going to do. Touching the flesh he let it heal but made it so then as it healed it was burning and painful to experience, loving the sound of her scream down in Hell once more. He could play games in her dreams and recently when awake but nothing was as delicious or comparable to when she was right before him available to his awaiting hands.

"No," Alex said, shaking her head, hot tears sliding from her eyes once she was down to a normal level of voice and she tried to sink back into the metal bed frame with crisscrossed heavy chines lining across to hold her up. "I can't be here."

"Oh but Alex you are. You've done some very bad things. I'm proud of you on the endnote though, however the other shit that you've been doing. The human shit, the fucking hunting shit and the betraying shit. You know very well that you are meant to be here. Besides, God wouldn't let you behind those white pearly gates because of the down right goody two shoe things you _have_ done don't mean anything compared to what you are. Let's get started shall we?"

Leon moved to the table beside him and looked over the spikes, the syringes, the saws and other lovely toys that were deemed as his. Flicking his black orbs to the female he took one long spike with mini needles on the sides, straps connecting off of it at the end and spread her legs, shoving it inside her sharply and circling the straps around where her thighs met her hips and secured. Alex's legs closed at the pain and she tugged, her abs working from the breathing, sobbing and screaming which in turn made it worse as it dug deeper and tore her inside. Writhing, spasming and yet trying to stay still her head fell back, an injection placed into her neck as she wailed for someone to help her.

_Welcome back Alex._

888

"She's coming!" a demon screamed in panic and went to flee ahead of the rippling surge of power only to become trapped in it. He howled in fright when the creature suddenly appeared behind him and placed its hands upon him one on his chest and the other on his lower back.

_Hello little fly_, her voice thrummed inside his head making his heart explode inside his chest and he didn't have time to scream from it when his veins lit up like magma under his dirty skin.

He tried to scream then but the creature had placed her hand on his throat, so gentle and it made him quiver before she ripped it out and tore him to pieces with her bare hands. Licking the oily blood from her fingers her luminous eyes fluttered, a freshly turned demon though impure it was fresh and warm and was her first taste after so long. Soon she would taste sweeter blood and the thought made her lick her full lips with longing. Now that the smaller ones had scattered before her like leaves on the wind she heard the baying of many hounds and the galloping of their paws. Teeth gnashed and claws tore at the earth underfoot, barking and grunting filled the silence as a large pack stampeded towards their enemy.

Holding her hands out in offering the air shimmered and the hounds were sent into the air, confused and angry they snarled and snapped at each other when one of their own floated too close. The air was thick with the din of Hellhound sounds as she moved her hands about morphing the beasts to her own image. Landing one by one they turned face racing out in front of their new master turning on their old as easily as a leaf would turn to the sun. She would gather more as she descended turning them upon those who dared to use them against her.

They needed no commands only to devour the twisted souls of the damned because the deeper she went the more there would be and as much fun as she wished to have till she decided to leave there was much she had to do. Stepping forward the very essence of Hell continued to revolt against her presence demanding that she leave. Paying it no mind she went forward on her journey into the deepest circles of Hell, slaughtering demons as easily as batting an eyelash. Her laughter filled the shadows as she stepped down flashes of red tinted light flaring overhead as screams drowned out the noises of cutting and whips.

Human souls being tortured, strung up, strapped down, nailed, roped, buried, the floor was sticky with blood and other fluids, the ash turned to thick muck. Stepping lightly into the large space she listened to the familiar sounds closing her eyes briefly, so many sounds both old and new and so many smells, all old. She had passed through this room thousands upon thousands of times and at the start many of them tried their hand at her but all came up wanting. Still over time she had changed as all things did in Hell and she forgot for many years what she was.

Until a special child was born that carried within her the key of hope, a child that was a sign of changes to come. Terrifying and wonderful changes. So she had sent to the child one that she trusted, one that would teach her and mold her into the prodigy she needed her to be. This was done because she could not reach the child herself, she was trapped in Hell by the means of God's servants. The air changed and it was difficult for the demons to not notice, one by one they ceased their playtime to observe from every corner the divine being that had invaded their realm. The humans stared as well temporarily forgetting where they were if at all possible finding the woman more horrifying than the demons.

There was a way about her that stole deep inside a person's very soul, that subconscious fear, blind dread without a source to blame it upon. Very few were immune to it and exposed to it long enough it would drive them mad with fear. "You're taking away our thunder sweet cheeks," one approached with a prideful hiss, she had long since forgotten to bother with keeping a pleasing human shape and now resembled some twisted hideous monster that inhabited some kid's closet nightmare.

Faster than a blink she brought the heel of her palm down on the demon's forehead and it's liquid black eyes burst into flaming silver light which flowed down and consumed the rest of her body. The sky flashed blood red and shadows crawled over every surface, she pointed her hand skyward as the demons dropped down around her to attack. Some humans that were not pinned down tried to escape, they would soon find there was no escape from Hell, people didn't escape they were let out.

888

Eyes constantly open, she hyperventilated, chest heaving and then quickening as sobs wracked her before another loud scream pierced the veil of other screams. Hers being louder than theirs, head thrown back and sweat coating her entire body. Leon had been carving at her for years. So many years, yet she hadn't even become what he had longed her to be just yet. She still had many more to go. Petting her face with the knife, cutting into it and then stepping back. "You really disappoint me Alex. When will you realize that you need to embrace all this?"

Alex whimpered and another scream ripped out as he pulled the lines to the hooks he had forced through her breasts. Taking one swift motion with the long blade he had she fell to the floor where she had been suspended, her chest bleeding and gone and slowly it began to heal with painful clarity, her writhing on the ground as she clawed at her own chest. He had strapped things onto her body that were inside of her body in various places so when she moved it hurt just as bad. Turning his back on her he shook his head with a laugh and he could hear her stand, needing to stand and her feet beginning to work as she ran, stumbling, screaming and crying. He'd let her go, let her wander and then pick her back up once others have toyed with the brunette.

She ran through the tunnel only to go into darkness, the feeling of hands sliding along her body and cutting her as she went made her fall to the ground in fear, kicking out and crawling, scrambling to get to her feet to run once more as she bled. Alex was yanked against one of the rock walls as magma was seeping out now and then to burn her body, hands massaging her breasts and gripping her hair. A demon came out and grinned, tilting his head to the side. "Why kitten, you've lost your way," he spoke as black spittle came out to land on her body as he played with her clit the best he could with the thing deep inside her.

Nail cutting against her lower half made her cry out and that was when his tongue entered, enlarging like some kind of dick and biting down her throat, swallowing her own tongue and blood coated her chin from it. Gagging, screaming and she finally released energy which made him fly back and the hands release her. Wiping her mouth, the blood continued to flow. Alex continued her path to run, going and going, hearing hell hounds, hearing demons, hearing screams. Too much, all too much. Something was standing before her as she turned and she trembled, frozen and wounded. Falling to her knees as she shook her head, more tears to mingle with the mess on her face.

"No, no, no. Please. No," she cried at the new thing before her, scary and no doubt wanting her blood next, her screams.

888

Movements as graceful and liquid as a dancer in water and she moved like she danced soulful and primal but it was no dance. Her feet and hands landed ferociously, strikes meant to break bone and rend muscle useless were exacted in perfect flowing sequences. When a human found themselves in the way of the female and a demon they were not spared, she tore into them as viciously as she had any demon. The only thing they had to offer her was their blood, which she drank in great mouthfuls her hunger never sated because she had been starved for millennia.

Fresh blood dripping down her front she continued her battle dance as the demons carelessly threw themselves at her. Several groups of them stopped the reckless behavior instincts telling them if they left her alone she would leave them alone to go back to their torturing. They could only hope. There was no mercy in her eyes when some groveled at her feet for their lives, she kicked them on their sides and stepping over brought her foot down on their head. She crushed the quivering demon's skull under her foot taking the blood from her chest and licking it off her fingers. It was sickening to watch them beg, weak pathetic shells of their human selves, she couldn't decide which she hated more.

Another one had begun to cry and plead behind her and her lip curled back with a snarl to silence the weeping bitch. Turning in a blink her mercurial silver orbs flared at the sight of the brunette on her knees, the recognition on her face warring with darker emotions. Her voice purred like sex in Alex's head, there were no words only sounds but when she grabbed Alex to lift her up by the throat her face was dark and the soft noise of recognition turned to thunderous animal sounds that caused the brunette to flinch and cry. Then the voice laughed sweet and ominous the other hand coming up to brush Alex's hair, loving how the half demon was so terribly afraid of her now. She could drink it in; coax it out of her like cum.

_Why have you betrayed me? _Her voice whispered nightmarish in Alex's head.

Other demons watched on, smiling that Alex had been caught and would be killed by the monster among them albeit too soon according to some. She moved Alex around causing her to scream because she knew of all the devices buried under her flesh. Placed there by a demon that had toyed with her to the point of annoyance, she would make time for Leon.

Alex stared into the things eyes and she screamed, the pain incredibly evident and the sight, the sound of this thing was taking her and destroying her. Little by little, Hell was taking all that she had gained. Taking her human soul and just ruining her. "I...I don't...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I didn't..." Alex apologized, she didn't recognize the thing until she had seen the orbs plain as day.

_Astarte._

She felt worthless, she felt horrified and she knew she couldn't get out of Hell. It wasn't that easy and it made her cry more to know that she'd continue to deal with such torture and sights that would make her wish that it was only a dream. Alex closed her eyes and screamed when she was moved once more, snapping them open, her hands went to her body needing the straps off but she wouldn't get them off. Not unless something wanted them off.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted it to end. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of it. Please," she whimpered.

_Nothing's that easy. I'm not going to get away with an apology._

Demonic chatter bounced off the walls in excited tones, this one had made the great Alex Tatiani scream. The half demon was a legend in Hell, but to many she was a phantom of her former self, a betrayer deserving of the deepest pits of Hell. Astarte snarled, a tremor running up from the ground and towards the chattering demons to silence them several paying for their talkative nature with their lives. Silence fell and Astarte turned back to Alex filling her mind with the hissing of a thousand serpents.

_You mean you did not intend to sheath my wolf's cock with your filthy cunt again and again until you both came to your full?_ She bared her fangs with a growl and forced the veins in Alex's skin to rise painfully to the surface then with a venom lick to Alex's neck she set the veins on fire making them pulse with black infected blood. _You will pay for this sin against me, I gave you life and you took what was most precious to me and corrupted it for your own selfish desires_. Astarte's wrath was palpable and the Goddess fed drip by drip the searing light of her divinity into Alex's demonic body until the veins were no longer black but pathways of light and the pain was excruciatingly indescribable.

Screaming so loud, her throat convulsed, her hands on Astarte to push her away but only succeeded in tightening her hands. Alex needed to get away and she knew that the demons were loving her screams. Her entire body fought and bled and she cried harder than anything before now. Her screams nothing but loud noise and Alex shook her head frantically as her eyes needed to look anywhere but on Astarte. Pushing and pushing she kicked out and was on the ground in an instant on her back, bringing her arms in to her chest and her legs bent as she bawled, sounding like some pathetic child. That's what she was. A child in Hell, simple as that.

"I'm sorry," she whined, her breath audible as she inhaled roughly as more sobs wracked her body. "Please don't hurt me." A scream ruined her vocal chords when Astarte's body was now on top of her and she turned her head to the side to avoid her face. Weak. Alex was weak and pathetic. "HELP!"

_You're only sorry because you're afraid_.

Astarte laughed down at the piteous haggard form of Alex with a deadly glint in her mercurial orbs. With a single hand she gripped Alex's jaw and forced the brunette to look at her, _look at me child_, she demanded. The ground rumbled underneath, the source was Astarte's constantly flowing energy at odds with Hell itself. Several of the demons squeaked and squealed scurrying away into darker corners to hide from the glaring light emanating from Astarte's being.

_Who do you think will help you here? _Her voice hissed as she narrowed her eyes and crashed her hips down onto Alex's to compress against the torture device inside of her, _your sexually frustrated pupil perhaps? He would only intervene out of jealousy or boredom wanting you to self and he would fail._

Astarte growled at the thought of the demon, menacing little annoyance of a man that used to be human. She had been there to watch him change, taking an interest in Alex at the time because of her contact with Von, she had witnessed Leon's metamorphosis. Before she had been too weak to fight him off and break through his illusions and demonic power, he had flicked her away like a pesky ant. The tide had turned and if Leon dared present himself to Astarte she would have her way with him.

Screaming in Astarte's face at the pressure down below. Tears coming down her face more and more to the point that it just glistened. "No! I hate Leon. I'd rather he die than go back to him. And yes I'm scared, but I'm not just saying sorry because of that. Do you think I honestly enjoyed finding out that I was being used? If I had known I would have _never_ had sex with Sam. If I had known it was just some sick and twisted way for Ruby to get her socks off and ruin everything, then I wouldn't have. I would never do that to Von...to Dean."

Alex went to shake her head out of Astarte's grasp but failed and yelped, stopping and meeting her eyes. _I'm telling the truth. I'm sorry._

"In all honesty since you want me to explain myself...though I'm dead fucking scared...Sam's not _your_ wolf. He's Von's. You are no Von and in no way are you my mother like you seem to have been drilled into my brain. You may have brought me back but I didn't ask you to. Then I would never have fucked everything up!"

Alex bucked, the drive to fight out of this kicked in but she screamed in pain all the same, not getting far as her throat was becoming more and more raw from the loud wail escaping, her neck arching and body writhing. Another cry. Another whimper. Alex couldn't win. Whatever the demons, whatever Leon wanted her to be, she was weak. She couldn't be that and she wouldn't. She'd fight and take all the pain in Hell, but she didn't want to succumb to that part of her that was eve scarier to Alex than Leon and Astarte combined. Why? Because it was her, she had to live it and she was it. Whatever that _it_ was.

Leaning back on Alex's hips Astarte blinked flashing familiar forest green orbs before the entire eye clouded over with silver-blue once again. Blinking again the perfect silver hue pulled back to reveal the human green. "I _am_ Von. Whether you were tricked or not had nothing to do with you wanting to fuck Sam so don't try to make yourself out to be more of a naive slut than you already are in order for me to take pity on you." She leaned over and sniffed Alex, slicing the woman's neck open with her nails. Sniffing at the blood she gave it a small taste off her finger and found it displeasing. "I saved you from causing bigger fuck ups but it seems your journey has come full circle and you're back in my arms."

Light passed from the red head into Alex making the half demon's body illuminate like a firefly's. The pain was intense and skirted the edges of when Astarte used her power to kill demons, it was enough to cause Alex unbearable agony and make her wish for death. Letting the light ebb away Astarte gripped Alex's bleeding throat and lifted the upper half of her body at a twisting angle that made the hunter's spine pop out of place along several vertebrae.

_Ooooohhh, Alex_.

She blinked silvery orbs at the brunette and rubbed the length of her body overtop Alex's as her voice purred through her head with all the grace of barbed wire lined with velvet. Betrayal was not something she took lightly, Alex had served her purpose but made some disappointing choices towards the end that Astarte could not overlook. Her heart was indeed broken over what had passed and it had mended itself into a wounded violent scar.

_You've grown a spine in the last several minutes._

Most of the words sounded more animal than an intelligible speech pattern and Astarte curled back twisted Alex around and onto her stomach. Digging her fingers in, Astarte began to scratch into Alex's back bone until the glistening white was revealed, then little by little she dissected each vertebrae from it's home in her back and crushed it to dust in the palm of her hand.

Pain laced every scream and that was when her eyes flashed black and blue, a laugh escaping her that sounded all too different. Alex had hit that trigger, that one specific level of pain that no other could bring her to and she laughed very heartily even as she screamed and winced. "Oooh, that feels so good Astarte, tell me what's your secret? I've spent years down here and you are the first one to make me smile," Alex said, breathing heavily before whipping her arms around and her body, using muscles and her own energy to do so.

Knocking the red head back she landed gracefully with one leg stretched out and the other helping her crouch. Blinking a few times she shook her head and let her knee collapse so she could rest on them. Whatever Leon had done to her, given her...or maybe it was just Hell. Leon could press her buttons but Astarte could press them more. Her eyes flicked to the red head and she stared at her worried. This is what Leon wanted out of Alex, she unknowingly dove out of his torturing hands and into ones that would bring her. Bring her to what? What Hell wanted? What he wanted? Alex stared at her hands as she trembled, healing in her back and her neck and she looked up with a grin on her face, tilting her head to the side like a doll, like the old Alex with new hardware.

"If I beg nicely on my knees, will you fuck me too? I already know how big of a slut I am. Ever since Dean hit me under the skirt, I've been a new woman in that sex placement. Tell you what Astarte; I'm done being your bitch. What can I say? The sex must not be that good with you if you won't share your toys." Alex stood up and went to the straps on her body, undoing them easy with the fire seeping from her fingers; they fell to the ground as she stared at the things still inside her body. Removing the one in her crotch seemed the most important before she tossed it at Astarte, watching her catch it she laughed and clapped her hands. "I know you want to hurt me, you won't kill me because let's face it. You still like me; you still want to have fun with me. It was only about Von wasn't it? Me to protect her, to be there for her, watch your own damn blood and vessel. Now that's out of the way and inside you. You want a piece of me in whatever way you can get. Well...come and get me then _mommy_." She gestured with her hands.


	2. Chapter 2

In less than a blink Astarte was behind Alex with her arms wrapped around her like a lover. In the span of another blink she had pinned Alex roughly against the black slate wall. Astarte's front was to Alex's back and she licked up the hunter's shoulder to her neck and ended with a deep bite to her jaw line. _I'm faster and stronger than you, if you get away it's because I let you go, keep that in mind. _

One of her hands cupped Alex's right breast, pulling and rolling the nipple to a sore and hardened peak, her other hand slid between the rock and over Alex's thigh, massaging the blood stained mound between her legs. Forcing two fingers inside before Alex was ready she hand fucked her steady and deep. Divine light emanated from Astarte's hand into Alex setting her skin aglow. Letting the light from her power fade Astarte didn't give her any time to catch her breath from screaming before she lit her up again making it last longer and burn brighter than last time. The energy passed into Alex's ribs and throughout her skeleton giving it a violent red glow beneath her toned skin.

Astarte was aware that after she released her energy into Alex and it was allowed to run it's course and fade the brunette was enjoying the Goddess's attentions. During the power surge however the pain was excruciating enough to make Alex long for death. She was pleased to cause these conflicting emotions in the half demon; using Alex to experiment upon and flex her muscles after ages of being enslaved underground. With a growl Astarte circled harshly around Alex's opening causing the delicate folds to split wider a fanged toothsome grin on her face at how Alex quivered with sensation before screaming from overbearing agony.

Alex moaned into the screams, her head turning to the side to stare at Astarte with a grin. "Fuck. If I'd have known this was what you were all about I would have done shit sooner."

She went to laugh only to wince and release an agonized scream, her hands curling around same jagged points sticking out of the wall, breathing heavy from the pain as well as the attentions she was receiving. Bucking into the hand below and arching into the hand on her breast she groaned, biting her lip and making it bleed she gasped and her head tilted upwards at the pain from everything. Alex felt tears running down her face and blood dripping down her leg to land on the floor. Demons were watching and she stared at them, grinning, some flinching and some not even scared. Many horny and working what they had.

"Mm...Astarte," she moaned, inhaling sharply and then laughing, a fire growing in her hands before she removed them from the rock and placed them behind her on Astarte's own thighs, burning them as she seductively moved them up and down to massage. "I'm not the only fucking slut, the second being you." The laughter grew before another scream ripped from her throat, this time more horrible than the rest had been.

_I am many things, many of which your limited mind cannot fathom_.

She eyed the vast number of demons that had gathered, none of them worthy of anything from her. The flames licked at her thighs but did not register on any level of pain to the Goddess, nothing was as painful and debilitating as being locked away for centuries. Sounds of sex filled the air, heavy breathing and skin against skin, masturbation, grinding, demons mounting other demons to rape them more going back to the human they were assigned to rape every hole they had and when that wasn't enough they would cut more into them.

Several demons latched onto a single human, thrusting and pummeling, fucking open wounds, mouths and eye sockets. Astarte's influence was making an orgy frenzy of the place and her laugh boomed through the caverns her energy humming through every crevice. She screamed with Alex just for fun her voice overtaking every other sound, a deafening keen that stripped flesh off the bones of the weakest and the stalactites overhead rattle and drop like javelins from above.

Her hands shooting to Astarte's to continue and place harder but at the same time to remove. It was painful and yet pleasing and she didn't know which one to stick to. Alex leaned back into the woman behind her as she being hand fucked and she gasped. "Fuck!" Her abs were working, her core was burning and pulsating and she cried out from it all, just no orgasm yet and she wanted to bet that Astarte wasn't going to give her release so easily and she glared at the red head.

Another wave hit her and she screamed, this time trying to tear off the hands before she fell back into the line of pleasure. It was a sensation she wanted to fight and welcome. Conflicting and she hated Astarte for doing this to her but loved it at the same time. Alex went to move her body away to gain the upper hand but found she still couldn't, Astarte really was stronger than she was. Melting and fighting she tug-o-warred with herself. Finally her hands held onto Astarte's as her moans became more evident and her breathing as well.

_Oh fuck I'm going to cum._

_Yes, you are_.

Astarte purred and eased her fingers out brushing the swollen pearl that was the fuse to the pressure inside of Alex. The Goddess's eyes fluttered when Alex came, enjoying the other woman's orgasm in her own way and collecting the bloody cum in her hand to wash Alex's belly with it's silky warmth. Moving back from the brunette she watched with a tilt of her head as Alex slumped to her knees. Flicking the cum off of her hand the rest burned up into vapor that caught the attention of a demon who crawled towards her on hands and knees scenting the air and drooling. Catching the scent in its nostrils Astarte snapped her fingers and the vapor ignited engulfing the demon's face in flames. Howling the demon clawed off the charring flesh with his hands and scrambled away others snickering at the fool as they continued to fuck their intended targets.

_I'll never forgive you for what you've done to me_. She turned back to Alex, long tousled auburn hair tumbling down her shoulders and tickling her hips. _But you already know that_. Astarte looked at Alex, her friend, her sister, her enemy, she respected what she was but she didn't have to put up with it.

Alex was on her hands and knees and her head looked over at Astarte, eyes unhappy and at the same time very happy, licking her lips she lifted one hand to the blood on her stomach and she brought it away to stare at it before falling to the ground onto her side and fluttering her eyes. "Nor will I forgive what you've done to me. Not what just transpired but along the lines of bringing me back to life. I will never forgive you for doing that. I'd rather have stayed dead then have returned to earth, received all those emotions and hurting the people I did and myself in the process. Never ever forgive you."

Hearing some of the demons become more rowdy, some that weren't fucking wanted more of the red head that they had seen. And hell hounds on their way with more owners to contain the woman. Alex flicked her eyes to the sound and the way from it. "You better go get em'. I'm assuming we'll be seeing each other again," Alex finished, watching the female go and she laughed, only to cry out as the other demons descended upon the abandoned Alex.

Screaming and kicking out at them, she felt them grab her everywhere, grab the spikes inside her and fucking her skin with it while one demon positioned itself at her entrance to fuck her in the end. Another to plug her mouth as she laughed and screamed, but not getting to far when they were devoured by fire and limbs broke every which way, making them back off and flee to the walls to cling to high above. Standing up, she wrapped her arm around her waist, glaring at them before turning around. Finding Leon standing there her face fell.

"Well...you've been busy," he said, observing her and his face showed that he was intrigued.

"If it isn't my _star pupil_. Get these the fuck out of me and get me something to tear into or I'm tearing into you," she spat, pushing past him and heading towards the area she had ran from before running into Astarte. Running into Von. So now they were one.

_And now I'm back. Just better than fucking ever._

888

Descend in order to rise. A phoenix cannot be reborn without first being buried by it's own ashes. Memories lapsed through her mind playing like an old movie reel, Astarte first met him here, and he had passed preliminaries and gone straight to the master of torture, Alistair. Others might have had their chance to take a pot shot but the infamous Dean Winchester was Alistair's pupil. The demon might have taken more time to break the man but he was on a tight schedule, Seals had to be broken and the Apocalypse had to be started. Astarte wasted no time as well, introducing herself to the broken man soon after he had tortured his first a dozen times over.

The angels took too long to get to him and in that time she had formed a relationship. At first he refused her offered blood but soon Dean got the point he would try anything once. He wasn't proud of what he had done; drinking someone's blood like a vampire freak but Astarte was the only one to show him any kindness. Dean was scared to death of her even though she had never raised a hand against him yet he found her alluring at the same time and the more he drank of her the more those feelings of dread and attraction merged. Astarte enjoyed visiting him and knew he felt the same. Unfortunately, many times she brought trouble with her.

Alistair kept a close eye on his student when he was off ripping some other poor bastard's guts out. He didn't want Astarte getting too cozy with the damned hunter besides what could she do anyway? Nothing. She couldn't kiss him, bite him or fuck him and what was suspiciously surprising was she had never really tried to give him a good ol' fashioned hand job. Her hands had touched there and everywhere, making Dean shake more from fear than arousal but he had never tried to push her off.

Then the day came when the angels took him. Astarte had to let him go both because she wanted him to be free of this place and that she would not be able to fight off the angels, not with her power being bound and compressed. So the Goddess watched the battle between Heaven and Hell over one man's soul and she longed to be a part of it and was saddened when she knew she couldn't. Denied her right to fight she stood as a bystander untouched and ignored and when the light of the angels was gone and many demons lay dead or dying Astarte crawled back to the pit she had come from and there she bided her time until this moment. Freedom was sweet and would be so much sweeter once she was topside.

888

**Camford Asylum  
>New Haven, Connecticut<br>March 15, 2009, 4:54am  
>Lower Cell Block H, East Wing<strong>

Day two of her freedom and of her recapture by lowly demonic hell spawn but they could not do much more than keep her in this facility, bullets, blades and bludgeons could do no more than temporarily mar her skin. They were tests, the demons were not given the job of torturing her instead they were supposed to keep her from escaping until they found a way to bend her to their purpose. To their disappointment there would be no such bending. Astarte would soon regain her full strength then nothing would be able to stop her, first she would wipe her captors from existence then she would deal with other matters. For the time being she tended to her boredom by visiting the one that betrayed her when she was human.

Sam Winchester. She longed to cause him anguish enough to break the fragile walls of his sanity, yet she also cared about him beyond what she cared about any human. Aside from his elder brother, Dean Winchester, whom she had come to know intimately in Hell. But it was Sam she guided her attentions to and with great delight, her whole body ached with the anticipation of all the potential of being free. She could not see to the hunter in person so astral projection was the answer.

Several demons walked her down the hall to her room, they were slowly taking over the asylum with many more bodies of both patients and interns to possess. Demons certainly enjoyed taking their time even if it did have more to do with them wanting to keep a low profile. Omens were starting to crop up all around and hunters had their feelers out ready to lock and load, many places were set up to divert their attention and man power so that the demons could carry on with more important business. Astarte allowed them to walk her along; her mind was elsewhere in the cold iron room with Sam whose heart was bleeding out with pain and guilt for her to taste.

888

He heard the screams. It wasn't like it wasn't anything new. The demons here took in "patients", normal humans to screw with their minds and he happened to be caught up into something where someone committed him because they thought he was crazy when really he was just a hunter. Randy used the tough pipes above to do pull ups. Exercising his body while he was trapped in this place. Standard patient scrubs, his gray t-shirt laid on the bed with straps on it as his muscles worked to lift his weight up and down.

It was his left arm that made some of the patients scared as the scars were jagged and had contorted his muscles and the skin to look as if he had stepped out of a horror movie and it was just really good prosthetics. Nope, all real and all a permanent memory that he couldn't forget. Wendigo run in and it didn't turn out pretty for either of them being that the thing was dead and he was lucky to keep his arm. He could heard footsteps coming down the hall, probably someone new to the place and after an official day of running through tests they would bring them to their holding room. Their new home.

Slowly coming back down and landing on his feet he turned to see the new patient staring at him through the window as they opened the room across. He took a towel that was usually used for blood clean up, to wipe off the sweat from his face as he moved over to the window in the door. His hands placed on either side as he watched and tried to assess why she was here. It was a pretty standard thing that when they got someone knew they were either committed by family members because they were crazy or the demons who possessed the doctors and nurses searched them out for a reason. Fun or an assignment…

When a hand shot out and hit the place on the window right in front of his face making him jump and step back, wiping his hand down his face as his heart beat fast. The demon outside smirking and laughing at having scared him before returning to the red head, freckles decorating her body like cinnamon as well as other debris on her person. New. Randy figured from the way her eyes shown and the small fangs that came from her mouth that she was an assignment.

The door to his room opening when one of the nurses in the group, female, blond and always testing him, teasing him. Randy was a pretty modest guy, he knew how he looked but he wasn't one to sleep around and he always told a woman if they showed interest that he didn't want to lead them on. Being what he was and being a hunter, he sighed.  
>"Come for another round?"<p>

"Daily medicine."

The blond kept the door open as she pressed him to the wall, his hands being forced to stay at his sides without her even touching them. It was how they did it, used their demonic powers to hold him down and then came…He winced and tightened his face as she grabbed his package but that wasn't entirely what caused the wince it was her knife slicing into his chest to carve past a couple layers of skin. Thick silvery yet slightly transparent fluid came out instead of blood. That was his blood and he shook against the holding as she dragged it out.

Randy's brown orbs went to the door, wishing to close it to the audience or shove the demon off him and out but he couldn't. His orbs met the red heads and he hoped that they didn't do too much to her. This was a show to her that this was every day life in this place and to meet her hallway neighbor. Once the blade fully went into his lower side on his right he let out a scream of pain. It being removed he was pulled from the wall by her hand, leading him by the sack and the other hand in his hair to the bed as she straddled him. Each day pain, each day an advance and each day he was taken with the straps on his wrists and ankles while he tried to keep his calm. He was hunter first and a Hugtendalfer elf second.

Astarte's nostrils flared picking out the elf's blood among the other more defined aromas of death and decay, it made her mouth water and she stood and watched the demon begin to have her way with the man. Then her patience soon grew thin, the mistreatment of an elf a creature of nature was an affront to her being. She smiled at the man when he looked over with his gentle eyes, they held within them horrors many would not be able to withstand and as the demon began to pull down the elastic waist banded scrubs to properly mount him Astarte stepped forward.

The demons stopped her but she had no patience for games, ripping out one of their hearts with the simplest of gestures it hardly appeared that she moved at all until her hand came away with the prize and the meat suit dropped with the demon spasming in bright reddish bursts as it died. Taking a bite out of the warm heart Astarte smothered the other demon with a hand on his face preventing him from smoking out of the meat he was possessing. The body fell dead and empty with her passing by without a second look and she dropped the half eaten heart losing interest in the treat as she entered into the room with the demon and the elf.

The blond demon was ready to climb on top of Randy and flashed her black eyes over her shoulder at Astarte. Her wants to torture Randy again were going to have to wait. Standing up and about to do something she stared at the dead bodies outside the room and the heart in the red head's hand. Worry laced her, mouth opening she went to escape finding that she couldn't. Closing her mouth she backed up against the wall screaming for help as Astarte stepped closer to corner her.

Randy was relieved, hearing the demon's cries made him close his eyes, not wanting to see the carnage. It wasn't because that he wasn't used to it it was because despite it being a demon inside her, there was still a human in there that he wished he could have saved. Once the screams stopped a body landing on the ground came to his ears he opened his eyes and stood, going to his pants to pull them up where they had been lowered enough to reveal himself. He was descent he made sure to right his appearance before the red head turned around to face him. When she did he took up the towel and wiped away the silvery blood to reveal the wound had healed from his abilities.

"Thanks," he said, tossing the towel back onto the bed and bringing his orbs to hers. "Though you didn't have to, I'm used to it. Name's Randy Hoskins." Obviously introductions weren't her thing as she stared at him like she either wanted to fuck him, to lick at the spot where the blood had been on him or...he couldn't quite place it.

Astarte observed the man and his peculiar way of being nonchalant about greeting her, such a strange human custom for one who was not human. She was suddenly in front of him, eyes swirling a dozen shades of silver and staring deep into his brown orbs, holding him in her gaze until she broke her glance to lean forward to smell him. Scenting his neck a growl came from her throat that bordered on hungry, it had been so long since she tasted fresh blood from the vein and while she held back for now his reaction of Goosebumps coaxed her tongue from behind her teeth to taste his salty skin.

Taking her tongue back into her mouth after collecting the taste she rolled the flavor around soon bringing her lips to connect with Randy's in her own greeting, her name entering his head like a lightning bolt. A small laugh left her when she pulled away shortly after, it was a light but intense brush of lips, fleeting but memorable. The sound that left her was enough to trouble the room with stress fractures such was the power in her voice but it was the only sound to escape her thus far.

Raised brows and exhaling from the kiss he had to admit that was unexpected, hearing her name in his head and a primal energy he couldn't help the small smile. "Hello to you too," he replied, before reaching his hand behind her neck and meeting their lips again, he could feel her everywhere on him from that kiss and he felt her hands on his chest to push him down on the bed while she growled and on top of him. "You're hungry."

Randy normally would never suggest it but he could tell when something was hungry and had saved his life. Gesturing with his hands at the open skin available. It was a silent message to feed in however she normally fed. Blood for blood. He might be a hunter but he also understood customs with his elf culture and when someone saved your life you tended to give them something in return and it was the greatest gift to give was their own lifeblood.

Astarte was beyond pleased when the elf offered himself up to her; she had counted many centuries since the last time anyone was that selfless. She was indeed hungry but would take great care in receiving what he was willing to give. With one arm to brace her other ran up his arm to his neck tilting his head gently off to the side and running her fingers through his short dark hair. First came the brush of her warm lips and then the graze of her fangs, Astarte found it admirable that he remained calm even while his heart pounded just a little harder and faster from the threat of her teeth on his delicate skin.

Closing her mouth where shoulder met neck she bit down, relishing the gush of hot elven blood that flooded her mouth and washed her taste buds. Her gentle grip tightened and even while she straddled him Astarte pulled him into a sitting position against the wall. There was no need to suck only to mouth the wound gingerly as blood willingly pumped out, she felt his body shiver and a gasp escape him that elicited a comforting moan out of her.

Short from gaining her fill she slowly pulled away, licking at the last drops while the wound healed Astarte was grateful to the elf for his sacrifice of blood, she left him far from dead but weakened none the less. Running a hand through his hair she held him close sharing the warmth of their bodies, elves were so very rare in this century and she smiled at the knowledge of what he was experiencing in her presence.

His eyes were half lidded as he stared at her staring at him, smiling and he felt like he was riding through an ecstasy trip or some kind of high. Randy's hands slowly lifted as if to test their mobility, placing on her thighs to brush up where she was straddling and he kneaded her skin as his eyes fluttered down to take in the sensation of her soft skin. Licking his lips dryly he tilted his head back against the wall and released a small exhale that could have been a laugh as he smiled at her. "I've never had the pleasure of giving blood like this before."

_Actually never gave blood before so I've never really done it in general..._

"So forgive me as I bask in the after effects."

Randy knew their bodies were so close but he wouldn't take advantage, not really. Again he was a modest guy but that kiss he had given her after she had given him one, he couldn't place it but her energy was very intoxicating. Swallowing, one hand rose up and flatted at the curve of her back to put her more against his naked chest. That too was a different sensation that it normally was and he stared at her lips before again meeting her orbs. Blinking he knew he was drunk off of the feed and he had heard before from his birth parents that when their breed give blood, they feel it so intensely like someone would with drugs or alcohol.

Astarte was satisfied with the results and her gift to the elf was the euphoric effect of her bite coupled with the condition of his blood loss to produce a high unlike anything anyone on Earth had experienced. His small act of kindness had rewarded him greatly without him fully realizing it. The Goddess would shield Randy under her protective wings; he was now one of the few privileged to be under her guardianship. Astarte had given her name to Randy and that was all the information she saw fit to share with him until she decided otherwise because she understood the dangers for those acquainted with her. There were many that perished in her name for what they believed in and her hatred for humanity had grown great because of it.

She sensed them before she heard them and smelled them soon after that. Demons had a stink about them that was more tangible on the upper world that in Hell where it covered everything in one suffocating cohesive stench. They piled in the room twelve deep and Astarte eyed each one from her perch on Randy's lap her fangs glinting white with smears of both human and elven blood. "You need to behave yourself little miss." One of the demons that decided it was the leader of the group stepped at the head of the bunch with a politely condescending smile. "We don't want any trouble from you now."

He laid his hands out in a placating manner while two other demons flanked him for support, big dick and little balls. Astarte slid off of Randy with unnatural grace, her bare feet touching cold tile floor and striding with the same liquid grace towards the demons. The grown woman smiled with the innocence of a small child at the sight of candy and toys. Trouble? Why, she was the very definition of the word. Fangs peeking over her lower lip her mouth slowly opened to utter one single word, 'leave,' and the demons did so in an explosive torrent backwards into the hall to pile on top of each other in a frightened mangled heap. The first three were splattered in an artful mess around Randy's room, a fine crimson mist painted Astarte's exposed pale limbs and grey patient scrubs.

He watched her leave him and he closed his eyes before popping them open as his body felt completely void of wanting to move. Randy viewed deaths. He was a hunter and seeing the way they were being killed was something was disturbing it, it was more than that. It was grotesque and horrifying, it frightened him and letting his body slide down from trying to lay down, breathing smoothly. The way it was done it was very scary to him, because he had seen a lot of things but this was different. Worse. From lack of a lot of blood with sight and smell, he was beginning to feel slightly sick.

Randy could handle many things but with what little he had in his system from Astarte's feeding. "Don't..." he groaned, "Don't kill them. There are still people inside those bodies. Have to save."

More demons were coming down the hall and as they joined the rest of the ranks. Soon Astarte would be in her room or in a tighter holding cell or they either made sure that her room was very well warded and unable for her to get out. Whatever she was, they would have to do a lot of work. Soon Randy would be alone in his room once more and he would be free to torture again with or without full amount of his blood. He'd get out though; he was planning on it, building up for it. While he bode his time he worked out and took what was given but doing that each time he took something from them without them even knowing it. Their energies were bound by nature, the humans were at least and he took essences to gain strength and whenever water came his way or greenery he would absorb those too. Elves were mysterious creatures and no one knows what their extent of power is, Hugtendalfer's was a hard one to really place in books for hunters or curious scholars.

Body soaking into the mattress, he stared at Astarte. He'd save her too. He'd save her because she saved him and he believed that there was something about her that was good and powerful. "Please."

The Goddess turned towards the pleading sound of the elf, words heard but not heeded. She growled and her eyes flared like dog stars at the approach of better-equipped demons each carrying a gun or other device to take her down. Without warning they opened fire and with a flourish of her hand Astarte slammed the door closed on Randy's room and sealed it as the first barrage of ammo made contact with her body. Blood splattered the small window into his room and screams filled the hall and carried well into the next wing of the building.

Then another scream roared over the rest one of frustration and hate, an animalistic cry that caused the foundations to rumble before dead silence fell upon the hall. Shuffling feet and several whispers were the sounds that passed next through the cracks, muffled thumps and fabric straps flapping and buckling with the final sound being a door slamming and locking closed. Astarte was secured, for now, and the demons could get back to what they did best. None of them liked that Astarte was smiling the whole time they tied her down, her mercurial orbs laughing at them and unnerving them to the point that they were glad to leave her in the room to rot.

888

**March 16th, 2009  
>11:00AM<strong>

Randy had to go through the whole day yesterday of torture, being dragged down the hallway by a chain around the collar they had placed on him and the mandatory straight jacket. Even though he had blood loss that was flowing in Astarte's veins, he was moved to one of the demons there by the name of Alistair. He had come up as what the demons called a "visiting Doctor" to treat them all. He hadn't been returned to his room because he had been disobedient. Sure he was always disobedient but apparently interacting with Astarte was a no-no to everyone there. Randy had healed multiple times from him being an Elf but of course the silvery blood was decorating his toned frame, the metal body table he was laying on and the straps that pulled over to hold him down.

This was his first time being to Alistair. From what he had heard from people as they were muttering to themselves to their rooms with the demons that it was horrible, that there was nothing like it and that they would never escape. Then they'd grow into fitful screaming and struggling. Randy was here now and he had gone through all of yesterday with the demon. Today was day 2 and he knew that he had more lessons to learn before he'd be led back to his own room. Alistair had given him a break to let more blood regenerate inside by giving him food and water but then taking it away after a few small takes of it.

"So far I'm not seeing what all the hype is about you," Randy spoke, he coughed and the straps held him in place. "Though you've obviously been doing this for a long time, it's in how your work with your hands. But as far as talent goes, I've gone through worse..."

_Demons don't scare me, but I know that they can really go for it if I egg them on more. The more I do that maybe the more energy he will release and I can swipe some._

"You're an interesting one," Alistair mused as he inspected the viscous silvery fluid on his surgical knife, tilting the blade this way and that and watching the liquid run over its smooth edge. "In a way it's like you're in Hell, you have to admit your ability to regenerate at an astonishing rate is a bit of a curse with the current...circumstances you find yourself in."

The demon chuckled and stepped away to set the dirtied blade neatly down on the metal table he had organized for his tools to pluck up an implement designed for screwing into bone. Alistair assumed his position beside Randy with a pleasantly professional smile like a doctor seeing a favored patient. Without standing on much ceremony the demon pierced the first layers of skin, then fat, then muscle till he hit the bone and that was when he started turning the crank the metal spindle burrowing through Randy's thigh bone. It was a neat hole, expertly dug and Alistair knew his craft well enough to tell when the drill had come out the other side.

He hummed as Randy screamed and reversed the trajectory of the drill to pull it out of the gushing wound, grinded marrow squelching out from the release of pressure. Setting the tool aside for further use he pulled a simple splint from his tray of toys. "Don't go healing on me now," he teased with a click of his tongue inserting the splint into the narrow wound.

Displacing the weight with a languorous twist of his wrist the weakened femur could not withstand the widening force. Hairline fractures gave way to larger slivers of bone snapping until the whole broke into two bristled pieces. Alistair tied the splint off on the table to keep the bone parted. "Don't think I don't know what you're trying to do," his nasal thick voice cautioned as he waved his knife at the man on his table, "if you think you can get any juice out of me you're very mistaken, usually I hate to disappoint." He shrugged and sliced carefully into Randy's clavicle exposing the proper nerve endings to make his spine burn under the sensation of fire. "I've been around the block a time or two, now that being said I am humbled to be presented with this chance to exercise my expertise on such a rare specimen, I only ever get whiny simpering human souls, as much as I enjoy creating new things a change in pace is always welcome."

His exhales came out in throaty sounds like he was trying to speak and laugh at the same time but he clenched his teeth and let his head fall back, his neck tightening as he let loose a scream through his teeth. Muscles flexing and shook while sweat gathered and silvery blood continued to emerge. "Caught me silver handed, but if you know what I am you also know that I'm a hunter. I've killed many of your kind and sent them back to Hell as well."

Randy tried to hold back the next scream as he swallowed and opened his mouth, reciting the exorcism he knew by heart. Continuing he watched, seeing the demon Alistair fight but when he finished there was no smoke. In fact the demon was now laughing at him. Alistair had played him, which meant that he was a higher demon than he let on. Another carve and he bowed into the straps. His body was healing but the pain was still indescribable. The splint in his leg, everything healed around it leaving it like a part of him but he knew that Alistair would easily tear it out like ripping the wings off a butterfly.

"Apparently you haven't been around the block enough. I'm sure there are plenty other creatures here that are far more interesting than me. I'm more human than they are. As for choosing me out of them, makes me question your boredom level. Is it relatively high this peak of the seasons changing? Or is it that you are trying to overcompensate for something?"

"You bring up an excellent point Randy, I'll look past your attitude for a minute to answer your question. There isn't much here and to be perfectly honest it's boring and too cold for my tastes; you're only the second most interesting creature here which counts as special. After you there's nothing more than humans, the collective brains of the residents are guano and the new arrivals are well on their way to be drooling vegetables, not any fun for someone like me whose looking for something more than a screaming pile of Jell-O."

Alistair grinned then and adjusted the splint in Randy's healed over leg, splitting the bone with a flex of the wooden rod, that the elf could heal almost as quickly as a human soul in Hell made Alistair's visit more bearable. Yes he had initially come topside to attend to other business but Randy was the bonus check.

"I can see you didn't know that you were one of the only rare species in this facility and there's no sense in guessing who the other is, oh I've known her for centuries since she first dropped down into the Pit. We couldn't do much to her and in turn she couldn't do much to us, seems a shame."

Alistair carved small holes into Randy's body along each rib and down to his navel, the open red dots bled lightly until the demon's fingers stopped the flow by inserting themselves like he was playing some strange instrument. The right combination caused varying degrees of excruciating pain from ice cold to scathing hot, sharp but never numbing. Alistair was skilled at performing the most delicate of procedures; one didn't need a show of blood and guts to cause the most unimaginable pain possible. One simply needed to know anatomy and the old demon was a master of his class.

Screaming once more, he managed to get a few breaths to speak. "Yeah I've seen what she can do, like painting with annoying flies guts except they aren't your guts they are the humans you possess. But you are just visiting so you shouldn't really be needing too much time to play with those that you call Jell-O'd out, much less me or Astarte. So how about you finish up with that stick and let's call it."

Randy had to try, he had learned from hunters that sometimes a mouth got you in loads of pain but it got you through the hard stuff like torture or that so called pain and anything else. He wasn't known for his talking back or his attitude like some hunters he had heard about through the grapevine but he was okay. If anything he liked to play the cards right and take it silently, steal the energy to break out but this demon knew his game which meant that maybe his plan wasn't going to work. Randy didn't have another idea to get out of this place. So if this demon knew, it would only be a matter of time before the others knew.

Another few cuts and pressure on the stick in his leg he wailed. Alistair wasn't going to stop and the actions were the answer to his words. Sweat beaded down with the silvery blood and he tried to think of an image he could hold onto. He would remain away from speaking and think. He could picture his family before they died, the good moments. He would hold onto that through however long he would continue to be through this Hell.


	3. Chapter 3

**March 16th, 2009  
>12:20PM<strong>

Astarte was still smiling from nearly two hours earlier from her third visit with Sam Winchester, how he cried and curled into the smallest of balls to whimper and shake. She could feel the dread but she longed to smell the fear up close, to taste it, patience had to play out it's part much to her chagrin and then soon she would return to her lover and remind him of all that he had forgotten. Staring out the window she silently called nature to her, the trees and shrubs and had been doing so for the last two days. The demons had been too busy to pay much notice; they were occupied with terrorizing the patients both in resident and those who were brought in for their own sport. Soon, so very soon she would have what she wanted, turning away from the window to the grey walls that surrounded her she had to be patient and stave off the insanity that closed quarters caused her. She felt as if she had traded one cage for another, freedom was palpable but she hated the cage all the same.

Walking to the door she peered through the window across the hall to the other room where Randy Hoskins was housed, the elf who had human sympathies and who had offered his blood to her. She was always hungry, the last thing she had was Randy's blood and right now she was ravenous. With a heavy sigh she pressed her body against the door, staring into Randy's room and not seeing him through the tiny pane of glass. Astarte's power grew by the hour and while she could easily leave her own cell she could not yet leave the building without a struggle that would exhaust her, the accursed angelic resurrection ritual saw to that. It was an annoyance but did not put much of a dent into her plans; she did not follow a strict timeframe, not like these demons were bent on.

_Randy_, her soft velvet voice bypassed the material and drifted into the elf's head like a warm spring breeze. _Randy_.

Her fingers pressed against the window Astarte could sense the elf's hurt how there was a mark on him now from the last demon that had worked on him, Alistair was a master of his craft and while the mark was not physical it was permanent upon Randy all the same. Her heart went out to the elf, a beloved creature of nature but she was still hungry and she still desired what she desired.

Snapping his eyes open where he lay on the bed he hadn't remembered being taken back to his room from more torture. Randy swallowed and rolled over, he was healed and he would be on the outside. He could hear Astarte's voice in his head and feel like it was coaxing him like the finest wine. As if she was promising sex to any male and everything that he loved the most. Standing up Randy shuffled to the door, wincing at the shard that was stuck inside his body, healing over the metal and each movement pained him. He was left with it so then he would be reminded what helping patients would do. Randy appeared at his window of his room and he stared back at her, his forearm resting on the door and he leaned to meet her orbs.

"What?" he swallowed long and hard seeing the needy glint in her eyes and he knew she was hungry, if anything just the fact that she was needy for him in a way was making him long for interaction. Randy was not that kind of guy, he respected women, but around Astarte it was a whole different story as if her mere voice in his head, a single look at her he lost all sense of humanity.

A small smile appeared on her lips, her glance answering his question. 'What?' he had asked and the reaction on his face was delicious causing Astarte's silvery orbs to glisten with delight. The Goddess called to him again with the longing of a lover but it was not by some cruel trick to gain what she seeked, she would be the one to risk if he so desired. Astarte would pass from her room to his and destroy any obstacles that lay in her path. But she was not one to control the wills of others, she gained more enjoyment from the fate of their own choices whether it was to please her or otherwise. She would not go to Randy unless he truly desired her presence.

The cogs were working in his brain and even when she called to him again he found himself groaning and rolling his head on his shoulders with his eyes closed as if he was contemplating whether to sin or not. Bringing his head up he brought his other hand up and moved his fingers to come over and a nod to signify the transaction of his decision was concrete. Randy saw her and then he didn't and he stared for so long it seemed in the spot she had been as if he was really trying to see the magic trick a magician pulled over his eyes.

"Astarte?" he asked, slightly confused. Where did she go? Coming closer to the door he placed both hands on the thing and looked both ways through the window and yet still saw no one there.

She smiled against his neck, wrapping her arms around his waist her smile widening when he started with fright. Astarte enjoyed the little things. Allowing him space to turn around she ran her pale hands over his chest her delicate smile turning to a deep frown of concern. Alistair had gravely hurt the elf and a low animal growl emanated from her chest. When it scared Randy she cupped his cheek to calm him and placed a gentle kiss on his other cheek her lips lingering, her mind whispering not in a human voice but the voice of a breeze dancing through fresh green leaves and the soft song of birds. Her other hand rested where the hurt lay and she could feel the shard eating into his flesh as he breathed, what a terribly awful thing. Closing her mouth over his in a deep kiss her fingers dug into his flesh to remove the intrusive debris.

Randy tensed up and gave a sound of pain but took his hand behind her head and forced her harder into the kiss but still being gentle. The pain was so great with it being in there and now with her digging in he needed the distraction. He had backed her into the wall to kiss her and then when it was all over and removed he separated and nearly collapsed into her, his head rested on her right shoulder and he breathed while his hands braced himself on either side of her head. The wound started to heal and all that was left was his slightly translucent-silvery blood. His chest rose and fell he could feel her hand playing in the blood there, raising his head he pulled back so he wasn't so close into her.

"Thanks...I'm sorry for the...just hurt like fucking hell," he chuckled a little and he stopped to look at her hand still on him before tilting his head to the side to expose his neck. "Go ahead. You deserve it and it's my gratitude." His heart wouldn't stop beating fast just anticipating the feelings he had received the first time he let her feed from him, it was like sex but at the same time he wondered what it would be during...

_No. But she's so intoxicating._

Randy made his head go straight then and he stared at her like he was really considering showing her what Hugtandalfer Elves are like in the sack. Wasn't he supposed to be thinking about his natural skill beyond that? What was he thinking? Randy blinked and really wanted to do something, the sensation was palpable and it crawled along his skin to the point that he couldn't move he was searching her eyes. The initial idea was to feed her but now...

_I'm thinking very naughty thoughts that I'm even surprised about._

Astarte was so very tempted, she hungered for many things sex not the least among them. She sighed and it was both of pleasure and lament, she was what she was but the core of her heart belonged to someone already.

_Someone who betrayed me._

The thought was kept to her and for good reason, she could give Randy many things but she was saving herself for the traitor. He would be the one to sate her needs and she would break him in the filling of it.

_I would love nothing more than to share your bed..._

She smiled fondly at Randy even while the hunger rode her. She could not be the ravening beast to such a gentle creature, one who had risked his very life for her both in paying her attention and in giving her his precious blood. Her hand smoothed down his stomach, lingering gingerly at his hip and resting oh so carefully over top of his package. Astarte could offer him many other delights of the flesh though nothing could surpass the very act. She was apologetic and she kissed him softly leaving a trail down to his neck and collar bone, her hand reaching around to the back of his head. Astarte could smell the warmth coming off of his skin, his desires so brutally powerful and pure.

Her hands on him made Randy make his head go back, Astarte was no longer against the wall but instead his back was where she had been and he accepted her apology. If anything he should be sorry, he knew that she wanted his blood but he could almost feel that there was someone else. Hearing her words in his head and her hand over him below he began to be glad that he was up against a wall. Randy shook his head and took hold of her hand there and he knew he couldn't do this.

"You don't have to do anything for me. Really, you should eat. You already know that it pays for both of us." Feeling her hand tease his breathing hitched and he moved it up and away to his chest. "And I don't want to make you feel like you have to do anything when there is obviously someone else that you are looking for. I understand." Randy gave her a nice soft kiss before directing her mouth to his neck and he waited for her to take a bite.

Astarte licked and kissed the spot before her fangs sank into the base of his neck. Her eyelashes fluttered against the soft skin of his neck as his blood washed over her tongue and down her throat. Elven blood was truly exquisite in every sense of the word, like drinking pure moonlight. The moan that escaped her was nothing short of primal and her teeth sank in that much deeper. Her mouth worked over the wound until she removed her fangs and simply drank from the open wound. She held Randy up easily as he shivered with sensation and grew weaker by the second, her own body falling into the joys of what they were experiencing.

There it was the drowning sensation, the feeling that he was in perfect climax, the most intimate experience and he knew he had a fine sheet of sweat on his body head to toe from it all. Randy's hands held her waist to keep steady even though she was doing a pretty good job of it anyways. Then she separated, he was on the floor with his legs sprawled out in front of him, looking up at her with a satisfied expression and the wound closed. Licking his lips he let his head fall against the wall and he glanced at the door at the sound of someone checking the halls. Out of the corner of his eye he knew she was gone and back in her room.

The face of a demon popped into his window and he swallowed tiredly. Now would be a great time to get to his bed but he was so content he wondered if he could even make it there in a few minutes. As the demon disappeared, the footsteps fading he knew that they were good and safe. Randy helped her and she helped him. _Now all that is left is trying to get out of this place._

888

**March 19, 2009  
>9:35PM<strong>

So close, now she carefully bid her time till the moment was ripe then she would wreak havoc, the asylum would be ground zero the first chance to really test the power that had for so long been held inside her against her will. Tick tock, tick tock. Astarte's laughter flowed out low and thick, reverberating through the walls and causing all to pause in their activities and hark to the sound. When the demons came back to their senses several of them gathered around the door to her room and peered in with black eyes, some sneered and others were confused at the sight of the woman on the floor with her shirt riding up to reveal her pale freckled stomach skin perfect and untouched by trauma or scars.

They had not noticed the slime green shoots that had penetrated through the window or how they crawled along the grey painted pane and caused the dead wood to splinter under it's grip. They did not notice how the trees had taken over the building on the outside or how in every crack and crevice her creations were sprouting with life, they had not seen because she had blinded them to it. Demons were so easily fooled, the weak ones at least, their power could not hold a flame to the Goddess. Slowly she drew herself upwards hands extending to the ceiling like a swan or a dancer beginning her routine. Arms lowering to chest height Astarte curled her finger in a beckoning motion to the male demon at the front and he was eager to comply with the promise of raping the crazy slut.

Her eyes flashed like reflected glass and the demon dropped to his knees stunned and motionless, laying so very still as the vines and roots gathered him up and dragged him across the floor to the wall where they wrapped around him and punctured the soft tissues of his meat suit to crawl inside. He squirmed and tried to scream but his airway was blocked by a heavy choker of thorns and blossoms that spread out of his mouth like locusts, the plant drank up the man's blood as easy as water on a dry day. They squeezed it out of him the pulp of his flesh and muscle filtering through the gaps until the vines completely overtook his body and he was one with it.

Unable to move the demon smoked out of ruined body only to be snagged in Astarte's grip, she pulled the smoke to her and forced it to cave in on itself, the length of a serpent becoming a sphere. She held the swirling mass in her hand as it sparked purple lightning in it's struggle to fight her, smaller and smaller she forced it to go until it exploded in an angry red burst leaving a blackened streak on the ceiling. The other demons were horrified and scattered into the hallway biting down on their tongues to prevent them from screaming and choking on their blood as they did so. They would not be back for a while, instead they would talk to their bosses and try to conjure up ways to ensnare her but there would be no chance of them having any luck with that.

888

Randy had watched the chaos ensue through his window; the plants had sprouted through cracks in his bedroom and yet had not attacked him like they did the patients, the demons possessing the humans. It was horrific as it was extraordinary. The nature spoke to him on levels that made him being an Elf ecstatic and feel full of power and life. He knew he was no longer locked in his room but he remained to give Astarte her time and finally he moved today during the massacre. Out in the hallway he didn't want to look down or above at what he might see, he might be an Elf but he was a hunter as well which made him saddened by the deaths of humans that didn't deserve this when it happened, now that their souls left their bodies they were no longer deemed as people in his mind. Things. If he thought of them as people now that they were decaying and vacant it would haunt his dreams and waking hours.

Moving onward he continued until he finally reached the Mess Hall. There Astarte stood where a beautiful tree was standing. Randy stepped beside her and stared at it in awe and admiration. "Though I don't approve entirely, what you have created here...it is remarkable and I think it puts the building to better use than it was." A beat. "Am I free to leave this place? Will you be all right? Do you need one more feeding before we part ways and you continue with planting seeds?"

_Though we aren't the same species, we understand each other and thrive for most of the same things. I want to make sure we leave as acquaintances and not enemies. The time I have had in here with her I will definitely not forget._

Astarte turned to face him as he spoke and smiled at his concern, if he knew what she was perhaps he would not be so concerned. Closing the space between them she brought her hands up to cup his face gently and brought his lips to hers in a long farewell kiss, parting she stared deep into his brown eyes with her swirling mercurial orbs.

_You are free to leave when you wish, however there is one last thing I need_.

She brought her lips to his neck a small growl trickling out of her throat as she bit down. She held him gently but firmly drinking her fill, breaking the embrace she breathed deep with him running a hand up through his hair and kissing him with her bloody mouth and allowing Randy to just breathe out the ecstasy of what her bite had given to him. Astarte carried him to the base of the tree and laid him down.

_Rest now my beloved elf, regain your strength._

Standing slowly she walked away leaving Randy to his own path, Astarte had much to do and she was eager to get started she had waited so long to be free. She walked down the hall touching the walls here and there and coaxing her cherished plants to gather and grow over the corpses of everyone in the asylum, her lips parting to sing a song melodious and dire. And then she was gone in less than a blink leaving nothing but her scent and her mark upon the building, her first of many to herald her return.

888

Alex couldn't believe he killed her! When Leon finally came back he wasn't happy, something had happened with Dean in the dream and she wondered exactly what it was that had her pupil so fired up. Stepping up to him she brought the knife in the direction of his heart but was flung backwards into a table with straps, the straps coming down and staying. "How dare you kill me Leon. I am your superior."

"I believe not Tatiani. You may be harder and coming back to yourself but you still have that soft spot that doesn't seem to make sense to me and you need to be taught a lesson. No finding a way to get into Dean's dreams when I visit. And you need to forget your feelings for him, you need to want to torture him not shout your grievances and questions." Leon stepped up to the plate and took the blade that Alex had had, examining it and placing it over her own heart, bringing it down and making contact he left it in there for her to stew. "I'm going to break that heart of yours and once I complete that task, I'm going to leave you to have a little chat with a friend of mine."

Taking up long screws and a power tool, connecting one to the other he began to puncture in every form where the knife was. All the while his other hand was opening the chest cavity to rip it out.

888

**March 20, 2009  
>3:00AM<br>Pawtucket, Rhode Island**

Noisy, polluted, cramped, the wretched human plague had destroyed her beloved earth, raping her ten fold and breeding without relent, they killed each other yet still their population were uncontrolled and uncalled, for each one dead three took it's place. Truly a prolific disease that had gone too long without a cure. But first things were first things and Astarte had several visits to make before she made things right with the world, the first being one of the families descended from one of the members of a group of holy men that had done her a grave injustice.

Standing before the door she could hear all in the house sleeping sound and carefree dreaming dreams of wonderful things. Astarte would joyfully rip them from those dreams into a waking nightmare. Blowing the door in with hardly a flick of her wrist she passed the threshold and quickly found her way around the house to the upper floor hardly bothered by the skull drilling alarm that sounded and alerted the family to a break in. The master bedroom was easy to find, she could smell the humans on the other side of the door and did not have to wait long until the man opened the door with a baseball bat in hand searching down the hall with an fearful determination to club the burglar before he got the upper hand.

Stopping the bat with a single hand as it came to her head Astarte stared at the man while he gripped the bat with a terrified stubbornness that wouldn't allow him to let go. Gazing deep into his eyes she knew he had no idea who she was, blinking her eyes went human green a look of complete disgust marring her angelic features. "It's a disgrace that your people have lost their important traditions for sloth and decadence." Astarte crushed the bat to splinters in her grip and drove the splinters down into the man's neck. Blood gushed straight out up the wall and to the ceiling and the man dropped bleeding all over his perfect white carpet.

"Robert!" his wife screamed from the bedroom. Astarte's eyes flicked silver-blue reflecting like will-o'-wisps in the dark hallway. The woman screamed and slammed the door but Astarte was behind her in a flash without a minutes warning and tore her to tiny pieces before she could suck in enough breath to scream.

888

**March 20, 2009  
>3:30AM<br>Pawtucket, Rhode Island**

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Miller were making a fine display in the front yard. Astarte had grown two beautiful poplar trees on either side of the walkway the silvery white limbs pulling the bodies up with them and spreading their arms out to the sides. Their clothes hardly did the job in keeping what was left of them from spilling out onto the dead grass. Crucified for the neighborhood to see once they woke from their beds, they were the example to follow many a reminder of the way things were when lines were crossed and people lost their faith and respect and thought they were higher on the food-chain actually had the audacity to believe in some ways that they were gods. The thought made Astarte's blood boil.

She would teach them and they would remember.

888

**March 22, 2009  
>7:49PM<strong>

**Rockford, Illinois**

Several States over Astarte had sniffed out the descendant of the second member of the group that imprisoned her. She was copulating with a male in his bedroom. Copulation, it was a favored human custom; Astarte saw no fault in it in fact she typically encouraged the very act she was watching. They were too busy thrusting and panting like beasts to notice her watching from the open door, leaning against it eyes casual and face void of any expression. Her presence was enough to heat things up for the two humans, their ecstasy suddenly mingling with a tingle of fear that went unnoticed for the time being.

Blowing a silent kiss towards them the quiver of air touched the male on his thigh and he bucked into the woman in response making her gasp. Thinking he was just being a tease she bounced on top of him to return the favor and he flipped them to thrust hard into her again. The dumb bitch was actually enjoying it until the pain his engorged dick was causing her rattled up her spine in frightening clarity. She told him to stop but too busy in the throes of heat he did not hear or did not care, so she yelled and hit him in futility to escape. Annoyed by her screams he struck her hard across the jaw her brains jostled inside of her skull dizzying her vision while he gripped her skinny wrists above her head. Her legs flailed and jerked with his thrusts and he pulled out only to force her onto her stomach face in the sheets that muffled her screams.

The man's dick glistened and dripped pulsing an angry red between his legs before it disappeared into the woman again and he continued to fuck her while she struggled. He took a fistful of her hair and yanked her head back at a painful angle, she choked and gasped eyes watery and saucer sized with terror begging him to stop and sobbing with as much breath as she could drag into her lungs. Astarte licked her lips, she could smell a faint trace of blood staining the sheets, the woman's blood and it made her smile, the skinny male was stronger than Astarte would have given him credit for. She still had a while before she died, the human body was capable of withstanding a surprising amount of trauma before it gave out and the spirit left the vessel.

Pausing her observations of the proper rape of the woman Astarte looked to the bedroom window and the large tree whose limbs tapped against the glass. Opening the window with a lift of her hand the breeze blew several lifeless seeds into the room to land carelessly here and there. Exhaling slowly the dead grey seeds turned plump and green sprouting vibrant green shoots and spreading like silk spider webs throughout the room, latching onto any surface close by. An hour passed and when the man came out of his swoon his girlfriend was dead, the sheets stained thick with lukewarm blood.

He couldn't piece together what had happened and fell off the bed blind terror gripping him as he screamed and wailed, what had happened? Was he drugged? Who had killed the woman he loved? The answer was standing in the room and it pounced on him with a hungry shriek biting down into his neck and not caring that he screamed until his lungs gave out.

888

**March 24th, 2009  
>Tucson, Arizona<br>5:54AM**

Miranda went into labor hours ago. Screaming and crying, her hand wrapped tightly in her husband Jacob's. He was soothing her and she wasn't violent as she breathed and pushed on the table, her feet in the holds, nurses and doctors telling her that she was doing great. She had gone through 9 months of pure bliss and occasional pains when the baby kicked inside, but otherwise she was a good woman and never cussed even though it was over the top. Finally the feeling that it was all over and done with, the sound of a baby wailing softly and she laid back to see the doctors finishing the umbilical chord before they wrapped in a towel and showed Miranda her newborn daughter.

She smiled through the sweat matting on her cooling face, laughing a little at how cute the infant was. "Caroline. Caroline Olivia Rasmussen," she breathed, feeling fatigue take her over and under, the nurses took her daughter away as she fell into sleep and she was prepared to roll down to a room where they would have their daughter in a makeshift crib while they both slept.

Jacob watched both go and he headed out to his parents and friends in the waiting room to tell them the good news. He saw the faces light with smiles with it being a girl. A boy would have been better to his liking but a girl wasn't too bad and he was clapped on the back with congratulations. Jacob Rasmussen was now a father.

888

**March 24, 2009  
>6:54AM<strong>

**Billings, Montana**

One last pull and Astarte had freed Humphrey Philips' head from his shoulders, it was the final piece and she rested it neatly among the rest of his disembodied limbs she had laid out in his front yard. That was when she lifted her sights to the heaven's letting her gaze fall faraway in the dark sky; another had been born just now. A new face bright and shining with the light of life, another seed come to fruition on a treacherous bloodline.

The more she saw of her beloved earth crawling with humans in their concrete fortresses and rows of replicated housing the more her anger grew. Between Rockford, Illinois and Billings, Montana Astarte had stopped in two other places to exact her punishment on the descendants of the priests that locked her away in the Pit. Such was her anger that she destroyed one town with hardly a mark left to show it had existed at all, now it was a small spot of forest where cars and buildings used to be. In time the other towns and cities she visited would be no different.

888

**March 25th, 2009  
>1:07PM<br>Black Forest, Colorado**

"Finally, I was beginning to lose faith in your pathetic species." Astarte stalked forward with all the deadly sleekness of a cat raising her bare foot and kicking over two rows of pews to scare the middle-aged priest. "You have followed the path of your fathers and their fathers before them, how noble to carry the burdens that you do, to see what you have seen and to know what lurks in every dark corner of the world while too many are tucked away safe in their beds, oblivious."

"You can't be here," the man commanded and stumbled back to grab any form of weapon that he could lay his hands on.

"On the contrary _Father_, I can be wherever I wish, you may have trapped me once but we all know not even your God can stop me, nor does he desire to."

She flashed a venomous smile which turned surprised when the priest had the nerve to strike her across the head with a gold coated crucifix and when her head jerked to the side barring a direct line of sight. The priest was hasty with the wooden stake driving it harshly into Astarte's chest, the proper wood, pine, ash, oak, the list could literally go on was the bane of many a god. But Astarte was no lesser god; a little bit of wood did little more than irk her considerably.

Pulling it out with a thick wet sucking noise the Goddess glowered at the man the red glass chandeliers rattling overhead. "You impressed me with that wormy spine of yours but only just so."

The wound quickly grew over and healed showing bare flesh where a hole now was in the cloth. Astarte shoved the wooden stake upwards into the man's chest under the ribs and impaling his heart causing a gush of blood to fountain out of the man's mouth, he couldn't manage a scream before he was dead and bleeding his last heart beat onto the neat ornate carpet of the church. Glaring up at the statue of crucified Jesus her eyes burned silver glass.

_This is my house now carpenter._

888

**March 26th, 2009  
>Tucson, Arizona<br>11:10PM**

She went home in the evening on the 24th and had been home with Caroline in her arms since then. Worrying about her baby at night and here she was in the rocking chair in the nursery room watching the infant sleep. Miranda knew that Jacob could tell she didn't want to be away from Caroline, because she was a new mother the baby needed some attention and care and even so at night when the baby never cried in her sleep it worried her to death. Was something wrong? Was she breathing? Tuckered out and asleep like an angel. Her heart was assured and her smile was on her face as she rocked back and forth with the blanket over her lap as she read from a novel she had been meaning to read.

_I'm just being a paranoid new mother._

Miranda looked up when she heard a noise from outside and stood carefully, glancing at Caroline in her crib to make sure she hadn't awoken before going to the window to check it out. The night swallowed up any chances and though the lights for safety weren't on there appeared to be nothing there. Probably a raccoon or neighborhood cat getting into mischief…Turning around the brunette 23 year old headed back to her chair.


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning: Remember this FULL story is Rated M for language, sex and violence. If you choose to read this story regardless and have a problem, not our fault, it was your choice. Thanks for reading. :)  
><strong>

**March 28th, 2009  
>Tucson, Arizona<br>8:47PM**

"I just think it'd be best if you saw someone or maybe talk to my mother. She can help. Someone who knows what you might be going through," Jacob voiced.

"I'm not paranoid Jacob, I'm just worried. I feel like if I leave her even for a second that something bad will happen. If something did I don't know what I'd do."

Jacob stepped up to his wife and wrapped his arms around her. "You are being a great mother, protective and already worrying but you don't have to. Caroline is a lovely daughter, she's fine and nothing will happen to her. I love you and I love her, but you need to start to calm down and maybe relax a little. Call my mother and maybe she can come up and help you with things and be there to talk to. Go upstairs and check on Caroline and then I'll be right up and we can watch a movie in our room if you want. Or something else..."

Miranda smiled a little before going on tiptoes and kissing him softly on the lips. "Okay. I love you too sweetie." Her hand brushed his face gentle and caring before she headed towards the stairs, up and down the hall to the nursery. Inside she headed to the crib where Caroline was staring at the motor above. A crash from downstairs she went to see at the top of the stairs. "Jacob? You all right? Did you drop something?"

Waiting for him to reply she heard what sounded like a curdling. Must have spilled wine and it was spilling out and he was trying to clean it up discreetly. Going to open her mouth to say his name again she noticed on the floor coming from the kitchen a kind of red liquid slowly creeping along the wooden floorboards. Focusing her brown orbs she thought it was wine but it looked too different. Like what she had seen in bags at the hospital. Fear hit her and she immediately turned and ran for the nursery once she heard the inhuman growl follow her realization. Putting a chair against the knob she grabbed up her baby and held Caroline to her. Where to go? She couldn't climb down a story with a baby in her arms and she couldn't just hide what if it found her? Had an animal got inside? How?

Caroline wasn't crying and she was grateful for that but it scared her to death. Jacob. She tried to not cry but it was hard not to as she silenced the need to have her mouth open to release the sounds. Pain, her husband was dead, she knew he was because nothing would leave someone alive if they already spilled blood. Why were they here? Footsteps coming down the hall made her freeze, eyes locked on the doorknob.

_Please don't come in here, please just think no one else is home. Please go away, please don't come inside. Please. Please. Dear heavenly father I pray for you to protect my baby and me. I pray that we can be saved and that we will not be harmed. I pray for my husband and I pray that whatever is in my house leaves. Please. Amen._

"Amen," Astarte's voice sang sweetly, edged with the irony that God nor any angel would be saving this woman from her fate.

Some unknown lullaby flowed down the hall to fall upon naive Miranda's ears and it quietly died away. Silence. Raw and cold, brittle with the tension of fear. The nursery door opened squeaking on its hinges just a touch, all anticipation was geared towards the terrible monster being on the other side to roar and charge and consume. Yet when the door opened to the blackened hallway there were no barred teeth, no snarls and no insidious animal eyes that could freeze your bones and steal your soul. No shadows loomed that were darker than the rest, just painfully still silence.

This was the last of the Rasmussen bloodline, the very last. Astarte had already paid her visit to Jacob's parents and all his other relations as she had done with all the other families. They were one with nature now; in giving their bodies to the earth for it to grow they now found purpose where their lives had none. From the hallway emanated a sound that fooled the senses into thinking it had not been heard at all. Not until it was closer was it certain that there was a deep chest growl becoming louder, no, not louder. Closer.

In the doorway now was a larger creature about the size of a young child, it's silhouette outlined in the rugged light of the adorable little kitten night light in the room. Canine teeth dripped long bloodied strands of saliva, a tongue licked the mess away, and large paws stepped towards the woman and her infant with black claws as sharp as Miranda's fancy new kitchen knives. Bone into butter was what they promised making tears in the soft plush carpet to prove case in point. The fur could have been rust or black, with the light it was too hard to tell.

But it was the eyes. The eyes that made the greatest impact. Two large ovals filled with liquid light, no reflection had caused such a glow it was like inside was a furnace of mercury. They shone with an unearthly fierceness that captured someone and would not let them go. Barking at the woman the beast snapped it jaws and seemed to smile, looking up it lunged without warning towards Miranda and Caroline, a blood curdling growl rippling from its open maw.

Miranda screamed and dodged, kicking out at the thing in desperation but feeling the jaws bite down after it had been kicked she fell, trying to protect Caroline from getting hurt on the fall. Head connecting with the rocking chair she felt her arms go slack around Caroline and the feeling of her being lifted away she cried and screamed for her daughter. "NO!" Miranda tried not to vomit from the pain in her head but she watched.

The red haired woman that entered was holding the child and had set it down after one simple touch. Pale and unmoving, no breathing no sign of life. Miranda knew she had known that she wasn't paranoid and she wasn't sure if she was crying but she was just staring. Her world was gone, her whole life she had wanted. Her husband and now her newborn. Bringing her eyes slowly to the thing that had done it she felt anger grow inside her. She had been raised on what was right and what was wrong, she was always the good girl, the nice girl. Miranda wanted to lunge at the thing and beat into it, images of how in high clarity but she didn't. It wasn't her. Those things weren't meant to be acted out.

Slowly she rested her head back down, eyes landing back on the tiny corpse, one hand on her stomach as she felt so torn apart inside. Not knowing what to do. Right now she wasn't even sure she cared if the animal killed her or not, and she knew she should run but right now she began to think that it would only kill her by the time she got to the door to the hallway. Dead inside. That was when the silent tears came.

Astarte stepped up to the woman and knelt in front of her arm reaching out to finish what she had started by ending this miserable woman's life. She stopped midway and cocked her head to the side, no, this woman would prove to have a purpose in the future. Miranda would be spared, her saving grace was that she was not a blood descendant of the cowardly wretches that moved against the Goddess and also Astarte had seen a spark of something in the woman that she had not seen in any human in weeks. Before the woman raised her head Astarte was gone, she would retrieve the human when the time was right. Until then she would leave her to her emotions. Let her wallow in the pain of her loss while Astarte continued to reshape the world as she saw fit.

888

**April 1st, 2009**

Leon had been torturing Alex for some time to teach her a lesson before he felt that she was ready to go back into training again. Leaving her to torture with her own hands and tools as he went to visit someone topside in the only way he knew how. Finding him he bowed respectfully before meeting his orbs. "What news do you bring me Leon on Alex is it?" Lucifer asked.

The demon stood straight and went side by side to watch the rubble where the body of Alex lay. It was all a dream but they both knew. "She was defiant, went into one of my dream adventures and so it is a little bit of a delay but she's back in the game and focused. Don't worry she'll be ready and she won't follow me again."

"I like to hear that from you. I may not like you Leon or your kind despite me being the king of Hell but you understand that I do need my Anti-Christ before I can really go out with my plans. I can't get Sam without her and neither can I get things done. All I can do is make a little thunder, a little rain and nudge those to rear up while I lay a hand on nothing and this meat suit decays. I need to find another one before I can find Sam. Something less unapproachable." Leon nodded, Lucifer met his eyes with a small smile and waved him off as he waited and watched. The time would be coming, but not yet, Hell years moved differently than Earth years. "Oh and Leon, don't disappoint me with her."

888

**April 23rd, 2009  
>11:26AM<br>Camford, Asylum  
>New Haven, Connecticut<strong>

So the grim trio found ground zero pointed in the right direction by the wizened Bobby Singer. Some of his fellow hunters had discovered the site and called up the old man to let him know they found something that matched what he was looking for. Good ol' Bobby, Astarte had no need to lift a finger to bring them here, they did it all on their own. They wanted to find her. Truly, Astarte wanted to go to Dean first, to see and touch him as he was in his earthly form. She could remember through her time as Von when they chanced a physical touch, she could remember how he smelled of leather, gun oil and that hint of earthy mint. She remembered him smiling and how it made her smile too in her own shy way, he never smiled now and it made her heart numb with sadness. But she stayed away, only watching to satisfy her curiosity of how he was faring.

Dean was bitten around the edges with the harshness of his life, the experiences and the burdens that he carried day in and day out. It was what made him such a prize, rare and unique and precious. It was Sam though that called her to return to this place, her beloved wolf that had smashed her heart into a thousand pieces by betraying her. She watched him too after taking her turn to observe Donnie, the witch Dean had found to help them rescue Alex and Von, rescue, if only they knew how that spell had weakened her and allowed the demons to take her in the first place. No matter, they had risked much in doing what they had and her plans had not been diverted or delayed overlong.

Luring Sam away from Dean and Donnie was simple, he was haunted by his memories of sights and smells and her scent was indeed a very intoxicating opiate. She had followed him the whole way down the hall until he stopped, until he finally felt her there, of course he had no idea that it was her only that something was following him. Hunger stirred inside of Astarte now that she was so close and what better way to take Sam than to drink him unconscious? How he tried to struggle delighted her and only made her drink more heavily of his lycanthropic blood. It tasted like the rawness of the earth and the sweet silver light of the moon kissing eachother, it wasn't as refined as elvish blood however Astarte almost enjoyed it more because of the memories.

She had tasted this blood before, it had saved her, helped to stave off so much pain. Astarte lessened the severity of her bite from that memory, besides if she drank much more she would make Sam very ill, he wouldn't die but he would be sickly for a very long time. The Goddess had brought them to a remote place very far away, a beautifully secluded spot with not a mark of humanity anywhere nearby that would trouble them. Or for that matter that if Sam tried to escape to find his beloved humanity again. A cave across the sea in the middle of a forest that had thwarted man's efforts to tame it, it was the perfect spot to avoid interruptions. Hearing Sam stir Astarte knelt next to him and brushed back his shaggy hair trailing her fingertips down his cheek she lifted his wrist and bit down into the vein there, suckling at the open wound not soon allowing it to close until she had more of her fill.

Sam woke to a place he didn't know. Feeling pain in his wrist he jerked away and growled defensively. In a crouch and staring amber orbs at what had hurt him he blinked in shock. Remembering where he had been something attacked him from behind and now he knew staring at her. Was it really her this time? Was he dreaming? Was he hallucinating? No it felt real. He felt their connection strongly. "Von..." His voice came out soft and surprised.

Trying to stand straight so he could go to her and wrap his arms around her. He found he couldn't. She smelled different. Confusion came to his face as he fell onto his back, body taking its time regenerating his blood he lost. Sam searched the green orbs and then the spots of blood on her dried and his own. What happened to her? Where was she for so long? Why didn't she try and find them? Sam felt guilt wash over him. The last time he had seen her was when she died and before that when he left her. Did she know from Hell? The look in her eyes said the first.

"Von, I'm so sorry. I never meant to...I've been looking for you."

_Yet you smell different. Like flowers. I know you have never smelled like that. Could this be Astarte that Dean and Von had mentioned but never told me about?_

He remembered the name because he remembered when Von had told him to kill her if Astarte ever took over. He had refused. Sam would rather have Von than not at all. That night she had turn off his amulet and Uriel had tried to kill Von. Now he wasn't so sure if he regretted what he said or not. He didn't know Astarte. Was Von still in there? Was _his_Von there? If she wasn't he wasn't sure he could handle that.

"Astarte?" he tried this time.

_Von please be there, please be there._

Astarte still didn't answer him she was too absorbed in observing him, every little line and birthmark she had mapped out so well when she was human was still in place as if after she had died he would never be the same. But he wasn't the same, the past couple of months had worn on him like a thousand winters, oh how she wanted to crush his pitiful soul and hold him in her arms at the same time. Never had such a being made her heart fight against itself. She stared at him with forest green eyes, ones she knew he found familiar and in that comforting. He was afraid, nervous, but trying to be brave, how noble. Astarte was containing herself, her power was as gentle as a soft whisper against the skin, there wasn't anyway Sam could know what he was dealing with.

Blinking Astarte stood on her bare feet muddied and smudged with blood and wiped Sam's fresh blood from her lips with her arm and keeping her silence walked to the fire pit she had made. Neither one of them really needed the warmth of the flames, it was the nostalgic sentiment behind the flames crackling on the dead wood she had gathered, hand picking each piece to make it special, if she wanted the flame could eat through the rock. It was a simple trick one she had known how to do for a long time previous to her being reborn; she had never acted on her full potential too afraid of the monster she imagined herself to be.

Astarte was terribly naive when she was human. She could smell his guilt and it wasn't good enough for her. Stoking the flames with harsh jabs by the long stick she was holding she stopped and listened to Sam trying to get up, trying to go to her maybe to beg or do whatever he thought best to gain her forgiveness. Sam was given her back and a weary sigh that told him she would not believe he never meant to do what he did.

"It was the _wolf_," she mocked Sam's voice with bitter pain and looked at him in time for Sam to see Astarte's eyes flash copper, calling back to the time Von had the Ulfhednar collar locked around her neck and she had become a werewolf. "Are you still of the mindset where you think of yourself in two halves? Or have you learned by now that you are what you are?" Her back was to the fire now and she walked towards Sam the air vibrating around her like a hornets nest until she knelt next to him and it abruptly stopped. "You haven't learned at all have you? A part of you has accepted that you are now a Loup Garou, that you are one perfect creature and the rest still holds onto the ideal that the wolf is invading your body and you blame your poor decisions on it," her words lingered with the heat of freshly cured knives, "you've tried to put a chains on it instead of embracing it." Astarte ran her hand up Sam's chest from his belly button and ripped the amulet from around his neck with a scornful expression. She would not have him be a whipped cur whether by his choice or another's.

Worry laced him when she removed his amulet and he tried to reach out for it. "No. Put it back, you can't...I can't go back to what I was."

_I killed three people...I can't stand that. I was a monster._

Sam knew she wasn't going to give it to him and he stared at her like she was holding his only saving grace yet there was a little anger in there. How could she do that to him? She knew what he was capable of and yes he might not have embraced his wolf all the way because embracing it scared him beyond what anyone could fathom unless they were the one going through it. In a flash he was on the opposite side of the cave, his amber orbs glowing in the firelight. "You don't understand. Embracing it will only kill people; it will destroy those around me and myself. Losing you it made it worse. The anger at myself and then other things, I, I practically lost my mind."

Astarte snarled right in Sam's face then in a blink she was several feet away sitting on a rock with her legs crossed the hole in her patient scrubs gaping open to reveal pale skin tinted red from old blood. The fire raged behind her casting her auburn hair in a golden halo that offset her mercurial orbs. "You misunderstand it," the cave trembled from her voice, it was an indescribable song-like tone as ancient as stone and deadly as a storm.

_I know everything you've done; I know you've feasted on vampires and that you've killed humans. What you are will only destroy you if you allow it to, you were allowing your own self to get the better of you because of grief_, she appeared in front of him again reaching out a hand to touch his cheek, _you haven't lost me_, she blinked and her eyes were forest green once more.

"I'm right here, Sam." She gazed into his amber orbs and fell in love with them all over again. "You've always sought to be what you are not, if I had not died because of you maybe you would not be so afraid of what you are, it pains me to see you so afraid Sam."

His amber orbs drowned into her green. Sam tilted his head so then his cheek rested into her hand. Blinking he really missed her and hearing her say she was right there her made him glad. Though the part about her dying because of him, it was his fault and he couldn't deny it, it didn't mean it didn't chisel his heart. "It's been hard controlling this while you've been gone. It seems that I can't handle it as I thought I had when I first got infected. I thought I was different and that I could brave it like the best of them but without that amulet I don't know how..." Feeling their connection he closed his eyes and began to nuzzle her hand.

_I know you won't forgive me and I don't expect you to. In fact from what Dean has been saying I agree with him, that me betraying you the way I have I do deserve to be punished by your hand._

Sam opened his eyes and though he didn't know where that thought came from he didn't want to be punished. That part of him didn't want to be hurt and wanted to fight what was going to come at him and he hadn't realized his breathing had picked up not in fear but in preparation. Swallowing he shook his head and pushed her hand away. Amber eyes dilating in the glow of the fire as they searched the ground. "If I've always sought to be what I am not...then what was that exactly?" He paused as he brought his sights to her green. "What _am_I? In my mind I can't be myself and something that wants to maim, fight and be dominant. I can't be obedient and I can't be calm. I'm warring with myself inside and you weren't here."

Anger flared and he growled. If he was thinking rationally he would have known the reason why she wasn't there and accepted it but that animal that felt abandoned by his mate, that longed for his mate to be back with him and help him, be by his side, be his equal to share the burden and to lay it upon him as well. Opening his mouth a loud snap came out and he lunged at her, bringing her to the ground and finding himself staring up at her instead of the way he had intended. His mind was fuzzy still from the blood gone from his system and he wanted to vomit, the connection of his body to the hard earth brought him back to better thinking. Cave spinning, Von spinning he furrowed his brows and blinked a few times before his eyes fell shut and he blacked out.

888

Astarte sat outside the mouth of the cave, cross-legged and staring out into the depths of the forest as she mused. The trail of her gaze landed on her open hand and the amulet resting in her palm, she thumbed the ancient motif thoughtfully and peered back up into the trees watching the grey light glitter through the thick branches of the pine trees. What was the word humans used when they needed to strip something bare and start over? Reboot, Astarte tilted her head to the side…that sounded right. Sam needed to be rebooted, taken back to the first step of his change to be reborn. Astarte knew how it felt to be reborn and above all others she knew every intimate detail about what the humans called the Loup Garou. After all she created them.

Sam reminded her of the first of his kind, a throw back to the old days where they were a perfect blend of human and animal and nature. It was Sam's tragically human way of thinking that barred him from what he was. He was no monster and she could never wish for him to destroy himself and become something he wasn't. But what he was doing in fooling himself wasn't doing him any favours either. Running from the fire on his tail was only going to fan the flames. Yes he had killed people, supposedly innocent humans in his grief because he could not force his rationality on his instincts to deal with his despair. Astarte still needed to deal out his punishment but she did not want him to think that helping him to accept what he was, was the punishment.

It was the reward.

888

**April 24th, 2009  
>1:00AM<strong>

This time when he woke up he didn't feel pain, and this time when he woke up he didn't feel fuzzy but rejuvenated. He would have liked to think it was a dream but it wasn't, and though his hand instinctively went to check for the amulet he knew it wasn't there. Sitting up and rubbing his head he focused on Von who was sitting at the fire. Sam didn't like to think that maybe he felt rejuvenated because of the missing amulet. He was hungry, really hungry. When was the last time he had eaten? Now rationally he was thinking eaten human food but he should have been thinking meat. Swallowing and licking his lips he sighed. He felt hot, insanely hot in this cave and it was because he was by the fire. Without a thought he removed his shirts and a soft growl in his chest emitted when the shirts wouldn't remove from himself until he finally got it and tossed them aside.

Inhaling he couldn't stop thinking about heat and food. Now that he was awake he was already getting agitated. "Give me back the amulet." His voice came out gruff and not anything human while his fingers flexed and curled, working into his denim before rubbing down his legs and he took off the shoes and socks.

Inside he felt like he had when he was back at that cabin, it was like when he had met Lucifer right after that and he began to feel like anything would set him off. He needed certain things and if he wasn't going to get them he'd get violent. An image in his brain of him growling and glaring at Von when she touched him and he told her not to before he had fallen back into sleep to let the infection take over him. A blink and he was standing, pacing the cave like some animal and he laughed a little at that but it wasn't something that could be seen with a smile but more of an angry one where he saw the irony. He was an animal.

A small smile crept onto Astarte's as she listened to Sam pacing behind her huffing and grumbling like an animal. The item he perceived as his saving grace, the anchor that allowed him to hang onto his humanity was hanging around her neck underneath her grey scrubs and out of sight. She did not wear it as a ruse or to tease Sam though she knew he would see it that way, he would take it as a jest to what he valued. Instead she wore it for it's sentinmental value, to her it was nothing more than a useless bobble that held no power over her own. Stoking the flames with a patient hand her smile cooled to a thoughtful glance into the growing flames before turning to stare at Sam while she stood.

Astarte's movements were graceful and silent as she approached Sam tracing his steps with her own that had been left in the thin layer of dirt of the cave floor. Her feet were much smaller than his, which was an obvious fact yet nonetheless fascinating to the Goddess in some innocent way. She stared down at her pale and dainty feet that were caked with dirt. "I'm hungry too," she replied in acknowledgment.

Astarte knew Sam was hungry and becoming overheated from his agitation and the fire heating the cave. Admittedly that was her intent, she wanted to get him up and moving so she could observe his movements in real time and not through astral projection. The air around her shimmered with her energy leeching out and over Sam while a hungry growl emanated from her chest quietly. But Astarte knew Sam could hear it, he could have heard it a mile away. The connection had been present since she took him from the asylum and had been growing since had been close to him stronger than it had ever been as if the moon was in the same room as Sam waxing and waning with every breath she took. Astarte was starving perhaps more than Sam and while she saw Sam as a viable food source she would not feed from him unless he wanted, like Randy, or unless there was no other way. With Randy she had caused him enjoyment but with Sam she had made him feel the natural sting of her bite with no greater agony and no lesser. Hardly a deserving punishment in her opinion.

Stopping and facing her he growled in response to hers, his eyes burning and boring into her. "You're hungry? You fed from me by attacking me. I haven't fed this hunger as I probably should have, so when I say I'm hungry..." he pushed her against the wall, close and staring down into her orbs he tilted his head to the side with a hint of a smile but definitely serious. "I'm damn fucking hungry."

Sam actually stopped to bring his head towards her neck, he wasn't going to eat from her, he actually smelled, nuzzling her skin and letting his mouth brush and kiss. The feel and smell of her veins underneath made his lids flutter. He swallowed, rolling his neck he rested his forehead against her shoulder and slammed his fist against the wall close to her head, the rocks breaking off and falling, the wounds opening and then shutting just as fast. The growl that came from him was slow and then grew higher into a 'No' as he turned harshly from her and began to pace again. Hands in his hair as he huffed, trembling. How long had it been since he had fed this hunger? The last full moon he thought he had but really he had just had leftover pizza and Chinese food given to him, pretty much the last time he had meat like that was hours before he had started hallucinations.

The drive to hunt, to go out and hunt for something in the greenery was so intense it was a struggle to stay where he was pacing. Sam wouldn't and he wouldn't give into what Von...Astarte...there was no way Von's eyes were ever swirling mercury and neither did she smell like flowers like she did now. But yet he knew that it was still Von. It was like giving into Moriarty's expectations again, giving into a plan only to get betrayed again like he had with Ruby. He couldn't give in because he had to fight. He was human and yet now he wasn't but he really liked to believe that he was the same Sam. Just different. Molded. Stronger.

"No."

"I'm not one or the other Sam, I'm both," she pushed off of the wall knowing he needed his space she kept distance, "you can't be one or the other either otherwise you'll succeed in the destruction of yourself." Astarte wished he would stop putting up a wall to separate traits he deemed undesirable, namely his 'wolf-side'. She could have pounded it into him, manipulated his brain into accepting the changes he had gone through instead of leaving him to stubbornly fight it on his own. One way or another he would lose and the results would be ugly.

"So hunt, don't hunt. But I can guarantee you one thing, there's no Fat Burger around the corner waiting to fill your order or Starbucks with your favorite latte. Unless you plan on subsisting on pine needles until the ground thaws and the berries ripen."

She found she was next to Sam again despite his grumbling, huffing and boiling anger but it wasn't all directed at her. He was just hungry, very, very hungry and she could so easily help him to sate his need. Yes, she had attacked him. Yes, she had drank of him without his consent. She had her reasons and she didn't have to answer to anyone for them, it was the only way she could have struck two birds with one stone. Ease her thirst and take Sam away to deal with him. Which she had yet to do, where was the vengeance she sought and the punishment he had earned, was this love for him staying her hand? Flexing her hand Astarte's gaze dropped down to the long fingers and jagged nails that were caked with dirt, blood and skin. None of it was Sam's as she had been intending. Was it good enough that what he was doing to himself was punishment that had the potential to outdo her own designs?

Closing his eyes he growled, long and deep. Sam had to think. She was right. She was right because he couldn't not eat but the thing was that he had tried to accept that what he was, wasn't two entities yet he kept doing it. Why? Because that was who he was and he didn't know any better. He didn't know how to really think in one way and accept that. Sam didn't know these things because the only wolf that had helped him was Noah and Noah had been put to death by Alex because he betrayed them. He didn't know these things because who else in their group knew how to deal? Von and Alex were dead and Von was his only link to really trying to understand and function through it and then she died because of him. How was he supposed to know better and to understand what was meant to? Astarte made it sound so easy but it wasn't.

"I don't know how to be the wolf and to be Sam. I don't know how to be in the middle. Both. I don't think any who are turned into Loup Garou really know how..."

_Trevor didn't. He was taken over by it to the point that he didn't know what was going on in his wolf form. He split himself like I do._

"We grow in this alone and though you helped me through it and kept things at bay, I still don't know. If I hunt or if I just give into the urges, how is that being both? How will I know what to do to be that?" Sam had calmed a bit while he was talking and his shoulders had slumped. Sitting down on the ground in front of the fire not caring that it was making him too hot as he stared into the flames. Head in his hands, he breathed.

"I know I'm making it sound easier than it is, that is not my intent because there is no simple fix. Noah helped you without knowing anything, he had a demon controlling and suppressing him and he was happy to be caged. Are you happy to be caged Sam, wouldn't you rather run free?"

Astarte knew Sam well enough that he was not one to tolerate being repressed, but he was not one that would risk others being hurt by his hand. It was all good in theory as Sam had wished but they both knew how that had worked out, she had died by his self-righteous hand. Dying was a necessary step for her to complete her journey and become whole again so it wasn't as much from the dying than the betrayal that she was upset at Sam about. The trick was Sam needed a release to balance out instead of locking himself inside his anal goody-two-shoes little psyche and only making it worse on dealing with his urges. Astarte was annoyed that Sam was treating his lycanthropy like a drug addiction and he was the unfortunate victim of the side affects.


	5. Chapter 5

**Note: Wynter finally transferred to FF! So please go check her stuff out, currently she doesn't much on hers, but will be moving her stuff over, look her up. WynterFae.**

**-Wynter & Tori :)**

**Warning: FULL story Rated M for language, sex and violence.**

**April 26th, 2009  
>3:20PM<strong>

Sam hadn't given into hunting. Instead while Astarte disapproved of him, he starved himself off what he was hungry for and what he knew he needed. Which wasn't great since he was snapping at her lately. He had managed for some leaves he had found but otherwise they weren't to his appetite and today was finally the day where he was on all fours. He still had his pants, which in turn left him some of his dignity but his stomach hurt. Whimpering he shook his head to wave it off. Bringing his head slowly up he stared at the mouth of the cave. In truth what Astarte had said two days ago was true he didn't want to be caged. He wanted to run free. Run through the trees, laughing at how it felt and with her at his side. As if nothing was wrong and all they were doing was playing tag, when really they would be hunting. Together.

Another rumble and he get a sound of pain. Nothing was in his stomach and it hurt what was trying to work on air inside. Sighing he had to. Sam stood mindful of his hunger pains, removing his pants and boxers as to not destroy them he still liked to wear the clothes. Especially since he didn't know Astarte that well, sure she said that she was both but it was like new eyes on him and it made him a little self conscious of his nakedness. A little. Taking a deep breath so his chest puffed out he released it with a happy growl. He was going to do it, he was going to hunt and he furrowed his brows. His orbs went to Astarte's as they changed to amber.

"I don't want to do this alone. Care to join me?"

Astarte gave Sam a warm smile and moved to her feet from her place by the fire passing her hand over it to cool it to embers. She tore the grey clothes from her body happy to be rid of the prison garments, the soft glow of orange silhouetting her form.

Stepping over to Sam she reached up and cupped his chin, tracing her fingers over the stubble surface. Letting her fingers linger she turned and sprinted out of the cave to be greeted by warm sunlight that glistened off her long wild mane of auburn hair. Swift of foot she knew it would be a test for Sam to keep up no thanks to his hunger pangs that were self induced, if that was what it took for him to learn than so be it. Astarte could hear Sam behind her not as graceful or silent as she but he would learn, if he wanted to catch anything he would learn fast. For now she would enjoy the run as she hoped Sam was enjoying it despite his hunger, there wasn't any need for hope because Astarte knew Sam was relishing the moment to forget all of life's pain.

He had changed to keep up, fur in the breeze and it came simple to him, to change no pain, and he wasn't even the wolf that he had been that once. No he was half and half. Sam leaped through the trees and followed after, what would have been a smile on his mouth was just it open showing some of his teeth. Bounding off of a tree trunk to land beside her he didn't look at her, he just kept going. It was a rush and it felt great, why hadn't anyone let him do this before? Because there was always the worry with him and them. The worry that he wouldn't be able to be controlled. Well he had something to think about that...

_Fuck control. This feels amazing._

Now he was hungry yes, but his main focus was on the run. The wind. The rush. The dirt. Just everything that nature had to offer and he was doing it with the one that he had thought he had ruined things with, that he had lost close to forever until she was brought back. Though Astarte was in control now...wait he had to think of it as they were both. It was going to take some used to as well as himself now that he was with her. It was like she was making him realize things. Helping him again. Sam began to slow down when he caught a scent. His hands with pads, mix between human and paws he raised his shoulders and lowered his head as he crept towards the bushes to peer out. Feeling Astarte beside him he began to wonder what her intent with him really was.

The run was making him fired up, adrenaline and want to do reckless things with her. And now the wait before the kill, it was adding to it. Her presence alone screamed primal and mating, as if both should be combined together instead of separated. His amber orbs met her mercurial ones and then turned to the grizzly bear. Enough to feed both of them for now. Rotating the shoulder blades he prepared himself. 1...2...3.

888

The kill was beautiful and an honorable death for the mighty grizzly. Astarte had thanked the spirit for it's sacrifice and after they feasted she set aside the skull, the pelt and the largest claw as mementos of this sacred hunt between two connected on the deepest of levels. She basked in the blood of the bear rubbing her hand absently over her belly to smear the crimson substance into her skin; she stared up at the sky in a blissful trance of satisfaction. Her eyes reflected the blue of the sky and the green of the pines, the wind breathed as she breathed soft and gentle. Sam was restless, the meal sating some hungers and enhancing others.

Closing her eyes she felt him an arm's length away without having to touch, it was amazing. She had been saving herself for him since she returned, she could have had Randy or anyone to her choosing and it was Sam she chose. Blindly reaching out her hand she traced along his blood stained skin loving the way she knew it tingled with sensation.

Sam had long since in the meal changed back to full human, and as he found himself cleaning his hands with his tongue and running them through his hair to make sure he got everything as well as everywhere else. When Astarte touched him, he had missed multiple spots, wasn't even close to really finishing the bathing process. He met her eyes and stood closer to her, staring down at her and Sam raised his own hands to brush her hair back and cup her cheek. "I'm beginning to understand...slowly...but I want you to know. I missed you. I missed you so bad."

The tall hunter leaned in and kissed her cheeks before kissing her forehead and hugging her to him. God how he longed to do that since he first saw her whether or not she had bitten him and attacked him. Sam didn't care right now that they were both naked and they were nearly flush against the other. He only cared that he had his mate back. He had whom he loved back. Modified but here in his arms. Pulling back he let a small smile tug his lips upwards.

Astarte closed her eyes and breathed Sam in, she missed that smell of sunlit skin and spicy earth. She missed how he held her like he wouldn't let her go for all the world and that no power on earth could separate them. Hugging him back she nuzzled his neck before Sam pulled back to smile at her, the soft, shy smile that she remembered so well. She kissed Sam's forehead then his nose and then his lips to linger there until Sam had to catch his breath, she had forgotten he needed to breathe because she no longer had to. Touching noses Astarte smiled lovingly and licked some of the blood off of his cheek then splayed her hands out on his chest and pushed him onto the ground.

Straddling over his bellybutton Astarte leaned down and kissed him slowly opening her mouth for her fangs to graze over his lower lip, letting out a soft growl that was a touch on the playful side. Her touch was sensual and electric; the pupils of her green eyes dilating when Sam's breathing hitched and his hands flew to her hips. Astarte gazed into his blue-green eyes watching them sparkle with flecks of amber at the excitement of her touch; she would show him things he had not yet known. Pleasures that reached beyond the flesh and human experience that would be all the more intense because of Sam's lycanthropy and Astarte's desires. It had been so long since she last made love, one thought told her it had only been a couple of months while another was well aware of the many centuries that had passed with her imprisoned in Hell.

Groaning into the kiss, he could feel her hands on him, shocking him in good ways and that was when his breathing had hitched. When she had pulled back to look into his orbs he shook his head and growled, one hand going to her neck to bring her head back down to meet his lips. Sam had longed to feel her body again, to taste the Andes mint flavor but now it was mixed with the sweet liquor of iron from the blood of the bear. The hand on her neck drifted down her back and slowly over her side to play along her stomach. Inhaling into the kiss he feathered his fingertips up in between her breasts and brushing them ever so slightly on the journey.

Sam let his hand continue to her collarbone to stroke and he flipped them over so then he was on top as his head moved to the side to her neck to lick, kiss and nip teasingly. A nuzzle into the crook of it before his lips headed to her throat, tasting where it met the dip in her collarbone. His attentions stopped as he breathed her in, nose tracing the skin a good level above the globes Sam would get to soon enough. Feeling her hand on his abs he shuddered and closed his eyes, making a sound of surprise and what would have been pain when really he enjoyed the touch. The sensations being brought with it on a different level other than human. It definitely was a new experience and Von had it before but now...it was amplified.

Arching her back Astarte stared at Sam with veiled eyes, tilting her head to gain access to his neck she kissed the pulse point down to his shoulder. She could taste his sweat and the iron pumping through his veins, heart strong and racing from her touch. Her mercurial orbs faded from green then back to silvery-blue while her lips parted to inhale softly, her hands roaming from his abs to his hips to massage and caress.

Relaxing back onto the thawing earth she let one hand slide away to rest in the grass that was slowly coming to life between her fingers and spreading outward. Her other hand ventured between Sam's legs and her own, grasping his length and working from hilt to tip. She gasped and arched into Sam when he bit down on her clavicle with a groan. Astarte flipped them so that now she was on top with her hands on Sam's chest straddling him she was far from staying still. Her hips moved, thighs pressed to his sides as she rubbed herself on him while her breasts moved perfectly with the rhythm.

The grass continued to flourish around them, sprouting yellow green before darkening and growing uninhibited throughout the forest. Leaning down she kissed Sam deeply letting him feel her fangs on his lips, cute and subtle but capable of inflicting terrible damage. Her breasts were crushed against his chest and she moaned a little from his throbbing heat between her legs, pulling back to bite her lip her body willingly releasing it's own moist heat. Astarte knew what Sam was experiencing was beyond human by the expression on his face, his sounds and the way she could smell it on him deep down to his soul. They were connected, here and now. Forever.

Taking in everything she was giving him and they weren't even there yet. Hell he wasn't even inside yet but the feel of her again...it was enough to drive him near insane. Sam swallowed and stared up at her. He knew that if he tried to get on top again they would constantly be fighting throughout this experience for who was on top. Sure a little time in between to tease but didn't mean that Sam wasn't going to not fight and take it. Using his speed he rushed her against a tree, the bark no doubt digging into her back and he brought his fingers down to the warmth in between her legs to work her like she worked him not too long but enough to leave him wanting more. Now he was going to do the same and as he did he lowered his mouth to her right breast. Fingers all the while moving slow and lovingly around before diving inside.

Astarte's head fell back, her breath quickening from Sam's attentions. His love touched her more deeply than anything physical could come close to. Sam loved Von in a way that would drive most mad. The Goddess supposed in a way it had driven Sam mad. All the better then. She remembered how madly she had loved him, selfishly so. Her hands went through his shaggy hair, playing with the strands and focusing on breathing. A thing that wasn't needed as much as out of habit, it also communicated to Sam that he was doing all the right things to please her.

"Sam," Astarte breathed to the sky, her eyes sparkling green with emotion.

Raising his head he never stopped his hand below as he tilted his head to the side, a grin on his face as he stared at her face. "Yes?"

Sam flicked just right and when it caused another reaction he growled, he knew that he was having an effect on her just as she was having an effect on him. Hers was out of this world while his was him being him with a side of danger that he hadn't delved into often. He stopped letting her pulsate against his fingers before inching out as slow as possible. Finally when he was out he brought his own heat to hers, directing to lubricate with her juices. He entered the head not going any further as he waited for her to adjust as well as to hear her answer to his question.

Astarte's pupils dilated with flecks of silver shining like stars. The sensation of his teasing was maddening and she couldn't stand it. Gripping Sam's shoulders she pushed off of the tree with ferocity unmatched yet when they landed it was as soft as a downy feather in the lush green grass. Astarte sheathed Sam completely with the falling of her hips and it was as if two stars had collided in the quiet forest. A great gust of wind swirled around the spot in which they were laying, rushing through the trees and shaking them to life from winter's lingering chill.

Heart wrapped in a warm wet blanket, and the energy had shot into his throat only slide back down and pierce through that warmth to make it beat tenfold. Sam's hands were on her waist as he lifted her up and then thrust so then they could start to move. That one motion made a loud growl that echoed off the trees like tuning forks, making each one hum until it finally dissipated. One hand moved to her back and pressed her chest as close to his as possible. No motion, no nothing he just held her there and stared. With a swallow he knew what he wanted to say. But to use the name Von...it didn't sound right but he missed saying the name on his lips following those three words. "I love you. I may not understand this whole but I will and I love all of you."

Astarte ran her hands up Sam's back and smiled, "I love you Sam."

She carefully lowered him down onto the lush grass. Rotating her hips just so she moaned and closed her eyes drowning in intoxicating sensations. Rising and falling, every nerve tingled with light when Sam raised his hips to meet hers. Her body hummed with primal energy, it seeped out into the air and caressed everything for miles around, mingling with the energy she was coaxing out of Sam with their exertions. Pure creation was swirling around them and influencing the forest, breathing life into the limbs of the sleeping trees and the ground beneath them. Astarte's mouth parted revealing the tips of her fangs over plump lips, her eyes opening to narrow slits that glistened with starry silver light behind the thick curly lashes. Her red hair tousled in it's own breeze falling past her shoulders and tickling the swell of her breasts. Once she started she could not stop, nor did she wish to and she knew Sam felt the same for the loving glow in orbs.

The more they kept going the more he could feel nature around him, the new moon was yesterday. Today it was starting to wax. Sam thrust up, meeting her every time and together their actions and sounds were creating something new. Pure. The longer they went the more intense and the feeling built in his spine that was different than any other time. He growled and brought her mouth down to his as he began to thrust harder. It was then that he reached his peak and it was then that they both released together. Riding through and calming down from it he slowly came to a stop and enjoyed the kiss for what it was. Separating for a quick breath he came back, then completely pulled back.

Staring up at her, his head falling to the side as he breathed and looked at the scenery around him. Beautiful and vibrant, lively and they had done that. Their energy combined did this. Giving a soft chuckle he knew he was sweating. "We should probably head back. Sleep it off." He sat up and removed her from himself so they could both stand. Both spent and a sense of euphoria overrode his system. Taking her hand he began to walk with her in the direction they had come. Maybe things weren't so bad that he was taken...

888

Alex had been so sly. When she had visited Dean a second time a month ago in Hell time, she had warned him that Leon was coming. She wondered if he really believed it was her or if it was just his own memory or even if it was just Leon's creation. It didn't matter, Leon hadn't found out but the training had become harder. She was torturing more and doing more things and her mindset was slipping. What used to be the idea to try and get to Dean to talk to him, to see him again and be around him, it wasn't working. Leon wasn't visiting him anymore. Leon had gone to see someone and with that had left her wondering where and who the person was. It seemed important as after he had come back she had been in intense aerobics is what she could call it but it was bloodier and destroying everything that she tried to hold onto. Yeah she was already becoming darker and more hostile but she had still kept part of her that was human that cared about certain people and just wanting to get out.

Now...she couldn't say that about herself. Here she stood with some old pervert that had been rich when he was alive. Grinning at her like he was going to get the naughty treatment with how she looked compared to the rest of the souls and demons. Alex knew what he had done to get here and it wasn't how he climbed up the totem pole. More along the lines of selling his own workers like slaves, beating them, not feeding them, letting them die and then experimenting on them for science. His wife and older kids happened to be among the victims. No guilt. No nothing. All he cared about was money and get loads of it while sliding through unnoticed by the law. Had a few friends in high places to make sure that happened too.

"Hell doesn't seem so bad," he commented.

The female brunette moved to his head and leaned in with a smile. "You'll learn to know you are wrong. You see you've got me for a reason. Other demons, they aren't as bad as me. I'm something you don't want to mess with, I've made many demons none as great as one in particular, but I'm feared here. I'll make sure that your nightmares come true and deep down all those things you buried are dug up and held in front of your face so you can never escape them."

He just looked at her like she was bluffing and she went from smiling to a grin. Standing straight she teased her hand down his chest before stopping and staring coyly at him. A quick rip of his shirt and she lifted her other hand to reveal her favorite tool from her arsenal. A heavy syringe with blades and what looked like blue flame at the tip making it hot. Checking the fluid inside she didn't waste time injecting it right into his heart, her abilities making the fire grow to consume the skin around the area she was in while the blades whirred with more of her focus and twisting. Hearing him scream she laughed, blue and black orbs striking fear into the man's eyes as he began to feel what all his victims were feeling while living and dying.

Leon watched her from afar. She was getting much better and soon she would be fantastic to the point that those who didn't believe that she was to be feared anymore would fear her, as they were next in line after this soul. This was her last soul to work through; the demons were the next part to the hardening. The taunts coming her way, the memories they would bring up would only concrete the process. He eagerly wished to help her enjoy what she was going through but each time she would tease and then laugh, going away to do more work. His hand snapped out and grabbed a wandering demon by the neck, gripping until it was as thin as the neck of a lamp, the demon wailed and struggled but couldn't move. Leon wasn't happy and the more that he had to follow orders the more he was beginning to get restless and wanting to act out.

Releasing and straightening his purple suit jacket over his gray vest and white button up shirt, he shooed the demon away as he began to regain his professionalism. He'd have his moment; it was only a matter of time before Alex saw him as worthy, her creation that she was meant to copulate with. Leon cracked his neck, turning and heading down the tunnels to observe work and maybe get his hands on a few of them to let go of much needed tension and stress.

888

Astarte's eyes held Sam within them as they walked. Things were bad; things were bad all over, except here in this piece of paradise that she had salvaged for them. He could not fathom the extent because his human self-made him limited, if Astarte could only expand his mind and soul, reshape them without destroying them but she knew such things touched the edges of the impossible at this present time. Loosing her fingers from his she drifted away over the grass, her feet hardly touching the brilliant blades of chlorophyll. She knew Sam followed because of his love and loyalty and curiosity also. Why not go back to the cave, why not sleep?

Goddesses do not tire; they do not seek refuge in sleep. They are eternally aware of all things. It did not pass her observation that Sam was exhausted with their exertions, how could he not be with a mortal making love to an immortal certain boundaries of endurance were bound to be reached. They walked and Sam stubbornly followed, kindly Astarte slowed at the last so that he would not lose her in the thickening trees before they parted and the rush of water accompanied the wind like a song. A waterfall was before them and below it had carved out a bowl of stone. Nature's bathhouse, the water cool and inviting.

Taking Sam's hand again Astarte led them down the rocky terrain sure footed as a mountain goat. The icy cool of the rippling water had little affect on Astarte's body and she smiled when Sam stifled a gasp when the water lapped up waist deep. Swimming to the middle Astarte submerged herself in the cleansing waters, not having to breathe to survive she forgot how long she was under until she could hear Sam's heart picking up in panic. Emerging in front of him she ran a hand up his chest and rested it over Sam's heart.

"Shh," she soothed and met his lips softly while her hands washed the cold water over his abs to clear away the grime of sex and the hunt. He would sleep better if he was clean she surmised, just like a newborn babe.

Accepting the kiss, he immediately felt calm knowing that she hadn't drowned or anything. Her hands on his abs with the cold water, for him being naturally warm now he shuddered at the feel. Sam's own hands moved to her hips to run up along her back and back down to go up her sides. Energy was in the air but he continued to grow more and more tired. Separating their lips they went on cleaning the other before exiting the water. Standing on the ground the wave of long missed sleep and wear on him made him a tad unsteady. A wolf has got to sleep and this wolf was about to fall like a bag of stones at any given minute.

888

**April 28th, 2009**

**4:45AM  
>South Dakota, Singer Salvage Yard<strong>

Dean kept dreaming the same dream in different ways and different places, some he recognized, some he didn't but he knew he should have been able to. The sky was always the same, in a perpetual readiness to storm with thick reddish purple clouds swollen with anger, sometimes they thundered but nothing ever broke through. This time water lapped at his boots, the meditative sloshing sound loud against a silent world, ten feet out from the coast the ocean was fogged over and Dean couldn't see much past it. He stared out into it letting it fill him as he listened and felt around like he thought Von used to do it to gain a feel for her surroundings, his Dad only put as much stock in the touchy feely psychic approach as he could get out of it. But his dad also believed in following your gut so how was that any different.

Getting back the same thing he got every time he tried 'feeling it out', there wasn't a damn person around he was completely alone last man on Earth kind of deal. He could walk around freely like it was the real world, which had him wondering a good portion when he was awake of which world was real. There were no freaky transitions or monsters hiding around the corners to shout boo, no demons with cocksure grins and readied needles, no Goddesses, no Anti-Christ's and no brother.

Just Dean.

The moment the door was open, the window that she was looking for with Leon being so careless now. She had been denying him many things and she could tell that he was on edge because of her. When he had gone on another dream trip, to somewhere else, someone different she had found that one link she was looking for and found herself fighting through trees, running and finally she passed through to see no trees, nothing but the ocean. The unusual sky and Dean. Alex felt her heart lift and yet she couldn't help but feel a small amount of anger. He still hadn't gotten her out. He still was thinking about other things.

"Dean..."

One name leaving her mouth and she missed the feel, the sound and just seeing him even though his face wasn't visible to her yet. Alex wasn't happy with him. She had been to see him twice and he didn't know. Did he? It would have been stupid to not know that she had heard what was going on in his life from how demons talked down in Hell. And it fueled a lot of her torture sessions because none of it was information about him trying to get her out. None of it at all.

"Out of all the places you dream of it's this?"

Dean didn't turn around out of two things both steaming from fear, fear to see her and fear that she would vanish the moment he turned around to see her. He stared at water that should have been grey or on a sunny day bright blue; instead it was purple red from the cloudy sky, like murky blood. "Not by choice but it's a nice change from seeing you die over and over again every night."

Was it because he was getting over her dying or was he past the point of no return, all hands were raised for the later. He had turned his head so his chin touched his shoulder but he couldn't see her out of his peripheral, the fear of her vanishing after all. His hazel-green orbs travelled down the coastline until he couldn't see past the fog. Dean could feel Alex at his back, he knew she was angry and he ignored it because he knew why and he didn't want to bring it up. Why hadn't he tried harder to rescue her and why wasn't he trying hard now? Because according to everyone there wasn't anyway to bring her back, not after they blew the resurrection spell on a Goddess that didn't even need the help in the first place.

Bobby was coming back with Cas from where he washed up, he didn't know all the details just that Astarte didn't like angels meddling with her affairs and that Castiel was lucky to come out alive. She could have crushed him under her thumb like a bug if she wanted to. The lack of a resurrection spell shouldn't have stopped Dean, there was always another way, and if you couldn't find one then you weren't looking hard enough. But the Anti-Christ? That was some heavy weight stuff and Dean was too tired to want to care about screwing it to the man and fighting as hard as he used to. He tried, he tried all the damn time and now he had nothing left for all his effort. Sam, Alex and Von. They were all gone. He still wanted to save all of them, he just didn't know how.

Hearing his words it quelled the anger a bit. Taking the small steps next to him and turning her head to look at him to her left. "I don't die every night in your dreams. Because it is _not_me who is dying. Sure Leon snapped my neck that one time but that was because I wasn't supposed to be there." A beat. "Why are you waiting? Why aren't you fighting? There's a reason why you aren't getting me out, why you are delaying it. It's not because of what I did to you and Von with Sam. Believe me I've paid for that."

Alex stared at him and finally stepped in front of him. She needed to know. Why? She needed to know whether he still cared, if he even wanted her out. If he didn't she didn't know what she'd do but she knew that all the fighting she had been doing to keep her humanity would have been for nothing. Falling darker and further down with the eyes of expecting spectators on her to make sure she was doing things right and to a good level and raising the bar. For what? To make her what she had been? Or something greater? What was the point? Stepping up closer she brought her lips to his, it felt amazing to kiss him again, even though it wasn't really him, it was just a dream version of himself.

Pulling back she had her eyes closed tight, not wanting to open them in fear of what she'd see in his green orbs she loved. She was scared of what his reaction to her would be. Alex really hoped he would answer instead of leave her hanging. Alex wanted him to think that maybe she wasn't just a dream and that she was really there. She knew he didn't, it made the process of drowning harder and faster.

In response to the surprise of Alex's lips on his Dean kissed back. What she didn't get was it was her every night, the same scene of finding her lying on the floor with blood all around. Dean showed up after she was stabbed, but his brain figured out exactly what happened and took the liberty of putting the pieces together and playing them out like a horror show. "We're looking but Sam's gone missing now and Cas got his ass kicked tryin' to find him." They made some really big mistakes in using the resurrection spell; they shouldn't have used the damn thing at all if they couldn't get both of them out. But they did and they couldn't go back in time to fix it. "The world's getting neck deep in shit, whatever Lucifer's up to he's not being shy about it. I'm pretty sure Astarte's got her hand in it too."

"Well I'm completely in the dark. I have no idea of any plans other than the fact like I feel like I'm being fattened up like a Thanksgiving turkey. Just instead of food, more things for me to torture," Alex spoke.

_He sounds like he isn't shrugging off me being here, he sounds like he might actually believe I am really here._

"As for Astarte I have no doubt about that. Listen, Dean...I want to be mad at you because you've left me here, but I can't. If you are really trying, I won't put it against you. Sometimes miracles can't be worked. But I'm scared." She paused as she placed her hands on his chest, a light smile on her mouth at the touch. Alex remembered just the simple things from him and being with him in his dreams have really made her happy because she got to experience him again, experience what she could no longer have with her being in Hell. "I'm scared because I've screwed everything that was good in my life up that led me to die. I was at fault for that, don't you ever think that you were apart of it. You weren't. I'm scared also because I'm losing." She bit her bottom lip, her left hand rose to touch his cheek and she inhaled like she was the happiest woman alive, like she was seeing things for the first time. "It's so good to see you and to touch you..."

Tears came to her eyes and she wasn't sad, she was just happy. Being in Hell they don't give you things you want or things that will make you happy unless you fall, unless you completely sink into the darkest pit and never think about this. Alex almost lost all the thoughts, all the happy things and it was hard to hold onto them. Lowering her hands she held them at her side. She could feel him, she could touch him but it still wasn't him. Only a flutter of sensation passes in that touch with him and it wasn't enough. Nothing close to the real thing. What was the real thing anymore? Alex had forgotten. Even the kiss, it was nice, but the taste was only an echo to her. This was not her transportation, not her world, she couldn't feel things like Dean could, she couldn't feel things like Leon might be able to because he mastered in this. She was a stowaway into the dream world.

"There is good news in all of this though, Leon won't be visiting you. I don't know for how long but he won't be. I think he's too focused on other things, not to mention I'm kind of being a pain for him."

A ghost of a smile lifted Dean's face then disappeared into the fog. Leon not focusing on him was good. Leon focusing on anything else however still wasn't a good sign, the man had a capacity for obsession that was staggering and it was only matched by his capacity for cruelty.

"Being a pain was always something you were good at," Dean replied fondly despite the bitter sentiment attached to his comment. Alex Tatiani was known for her stubborness and bull headed attitude, it was her way or the highway and she would put people through proverbial hell to get what she wanted. It was one of her most endearing features and one that Dean hoped would help save her from turning into evil incarnate. "I'm going to try whatever I can to get you out." Dean was beginning to believe that this was the real Alex and that if it was she was holding onto her humanity and Dean's fears may have been somewhat misplaced. "As soon as Bobby gets back with Cas I'm going to ask him, there has to be something we missed..."

Alex smiled and laughed a bit when he said that about her. She couldn't deny it. When he spoke next she really hoped there was a way, she didn't want to lose more and more of herself like she already was. Her humanity. Her humanity as a hunter. She nodded. "I just hope that when and if I do get out, that I will be me. That Hell hasn't changed me as much as I know it has. I still like to believe that I'm me, that I'm not darker and that I won't be messed up or damaged. Can you promise me something Dean? Because this is something I might only be able to ask while I'm still this way. I want you to promise me that if I get out, you try and get _me_back. Meaning, not this bloodthirsty thing that I'm becoming. Lock me up if you have to. But promise me. Please."

_I know I'm losing, I know that once I lose my humanity that I will not be thinking about the welfare of anything and just wanting to have fun by doing whatever horrible thing I can. I can handle it in Hell because those souls and those demons deserved it. I can enjoy it because they deserved it. But if I get loose, I get free, those people won't deserve it, they'll die without any justifiable reason. Wrong place at the wrong time in the wrong hands._

Something hit her and she knew that Leon was either becoming aware or coming back. Frantic eyes searched his and she held him to her. "I have to go. I don't want to. He's coming back and if I am here and not there he's going to come in your dream. I can't allow that." Her head pulled back and she wanted another kiss, another kiss to say goodbye, rising up on tip toes she inhaled into it, lingering and finally letting go when they needed air. She couldn't stay to hear him promise, she couldn't stay to hear him reply. Alex needed to hurry. "Bye Dean."

Those final two words and she snapped back into the fire pits of Hell. Alex looked around her and heard the screams everywhere and no Dean. He was gone. She couldn't see him anymore. It wasn't that she couldn't think that she could see him again in another dream of his when Leon went on another journey somewhere but she doubted that she'd get the chance, that she wouldn't have more eyes on her with suspicions. Alex doubted that she would get the chance as she stared at the grin on Leon's face, propped against the jagged rock.

"Have a nice trip?"

"You knew."

"Oh yes, I might slip up but I'm not stupid enough yet to not put an alarm when someone else is using my window. How was Dean? Good I assume. Did you tell him that the Alex he knows and knew will no longer be if he finds a way to rescue you? By then my dear Alex," he pushed off the rock and took her chin in his hand, gripping hard. "That humanity you stubbornly grasp onto will be torn out and trapped here. You will be...the perfect...weapon." Releasing her chin he back handed her causing her to fall off the cliff that was there and plummet down to be put through some extensive training and molding. He was no longer able to get through to her so he had to give her to another. Alistair.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean was sitting up, legs swung over the side of the bed and arms propped at his sides. In the dark of the bedroom he briefly wondered how he had managed to get into a proper bed with only his shirt and boxers on without him realizing he had gone through the motions. When he blinked he raised a hand to wipe harshly at the moisture that had collected on his eyelashes and dripped from them onto his cheek, drying his hand on the bed sheets. He reached for his watch on the night table and checked the time, 4:15...A.M. by how dark it was outside. Too early to be up but too late now for him to go to sleep.

When Dean moved he thought he caught the aroma of spices and sandalwood mingled with wildflowers, it was too unique for him to be imagining it and too faint for it to have been recent. Without having time to think over the unnerving implications the crunching of gravel under tires came to Dean's ears and he grabbed his jeans which were draped over the chair and pulled them on before stepping out of the room and down the stairs. Bobby was finally back with Castiel.

"What the hell took so long?"

He reared back when his sights landed on the angel who had clearly seen better days. Dean thought he was glaring but his blue eyed expression soon returned to the empty neutrality that Dean had come to expect of the holy tax accountant. It was Bobby that had taken over the glaring with a gruff answer and roll of his eyes, "I thought I'd take the extra scenic route." The elder hunter feigned cheerfulness with a hard sarcastic bite.

Dean held up his hands in surrender with a wide sideways glance declaring he didn't want to get involved with the older man's temper and resigned to finding his way to the study neither thirsty or hungry for anything. Traffic had obviously been a righteous bitch if it took Bobby nearly two days when it should have taken him several hours to return home. Leaning on the desk with his arms crossed and eyeing the battered angel like he would a broken car and planning out how it needed to be fixed, "Astarte put you through the meat grinder huh? I thought angels were higher up on the food chain than that, all hopped up on holy juice."

Castiel's eyes travelled to Dean where he was sitting. "Apparently the both of us misjudged how high up Angels were thought to be when it comes to this being named Astarte."

The angel rested into the couch and thankfully took the ice pack that Bobby had retrieved for him. Placing it against some of the bruises he wondered just how humans could stand healing so slowly. If he wasn't so bent on choosing this side and following the orders of his new superior Anna, he would have never had to go through this kind of pain and misery. It was confusing as it was to be in a hospital and not be able to transport to far locations. When injured he knew he wasn't going to be going anywhere without motorized wheels doing the escorting. What he could detect was that Dean was a little off before the angel. Castiel stared at the hunter like he was staring back at him except this was one of knowledge. It was obvious that he had a dream that threw him off and from the little faint rim of red that came from small bouts of tears led him to believe it wasn't a happy dream. Or was it?

"The moment I arrived where I thought I had a lead...I don't remember being attacked only waking up where I was left. They said that I wasn't found but simply dropped off at the doors." Inhaling and closing his eyes, he never slept, never had to and now all he wanted to do was sink further into the cushions of this couch and sleep. This was how humans healed, maybe it was time he tried it...then again it might be that he needed to do it rather than a thought of maybe.

Dropped off? Either it was the work of some anonymous good Samaritan or Astarte had done it, she had a peculiar sense of humor and if she thought the angel would be useful she would have left him alive. Dean was betting that was the reason the powerful Goddess had not torn the wings from the angel as a keepsake trophy; it would have been easy and fun for her to do so.

"Where was the lead?" Dean asked, grabbing Castiel's shoulder and giving him a shake to make his brilliant blue eyes snap open from behind the heavy lids.

He wasn't going to let the angel off that easy, he had to have an idea of where he had gone before he was attacked. Sam was an oversized needle in a massive haystack but they would find him and then they would help Alex. Seeing Cas stare at the hand on his shoulder Dean removed the appendage and took a step back to give the guy some space. But he stared at him expectantly all the same ready to shake him well into consciousness if he had to. Dean needed answers, then Castiel could rest.

"San Francisco where I was picked up. I have no other leads, I cannot search for any as I have been cut off." Castiel watched the question form inside Dean's head and he replied before he could get it out into voiced words. "Yes cut off from Heaven. Did you think my act of bringing you and Von to that Convent wasn't going to have consequences? I am hunted and am losing what my father has given all his children. I can't travel as far as I used to, I can't heal, I can't listen in on words, I have to meet with one angel that hasn't sought to kill me because it has been directed so and that angel is giving me leads and orders. Heaven is in chaos. I need to find my father and I can not. A Goddess has attacked me and I can not understand what it means that I am still alive and why certain things are happening to me and the world around me. So if you don't mind Dean, I'd really like to do what humans do...sleep..."

A bone weary sigh escaped him. He never felt so tired, so worn and wanting to give up. Anna was probably busy and even in his current condition he wasn't sure when he'd be fully back on his feet. Something was being worked out there and it was growing every passing minute he was searching for answers. Searching for so many things that didn't want to be found and were being evasive. This time his eyes stayed closed and he laid down within that time, his breathing evening out and he was beginning to find that sleep was actually peaceful and comforting. Though what he didn't know was that Bobby had given him in the car ride just before they pulled up was medicine he was meant to take that was causing the reason for his tiredness.

888

A small clearing or maybe a large backyard where a man in a red cable knit sweater stood weaving a colorful kite in the air with a patient thoughtfulness that surpassed most humans. The man was autistic and oblivious to the watchers; he was after all an image of a memory inside the angel's head, apparently a fond one that the celestial being preferred to visit when seeking his Heaven away from Heaven. Astarte watched the man and Castiel who was also watching the man, he hadn't the smallest clue she was watching him with the same quiet stillness that Castiel held his frame so easily with. Narrowing her eyes with curiosity she moved from her spot towards the overcoat clad angel.

"I never thought I would see an angel dream. I've seen them fight and fall and die but this is a spectacle to behold," she spoke softly as to not break the peace that this moment held for the angel, her voice held awe but was no less potent of it's callous venom.

Angels dreaming? God's mighty mindless soldiers? At God's expense it was laughable, of course he would strive for something pure and flawless and wind up with the opposite. Right now Astarte looked very Von-like. From her scuffed biker boots on her feet, ripped jeans blown out at the knees and scratched up on the left thigh to a pale green v-neck shirt and her brown leather jacket. Her eyes were green but her smile could not hide her petite upper fangs from teasing over her lip nipping down on it lightly as she appraised Castiel.

The angel continued to watch it wasn't past his thinking that he might have a visitor in his dreams. Many people usually did but then again he was necessarily human so he didn't belong. With it being the one whom had harmed him in San Francisco but left him alive he was a little surprised but this was his dream. This was what it was like to dream..."If you are as knowledgeable as you have proved then you know why this is a rare event."

Castiel spoke with such ease and never knew why people when he had been watching this boy had walked past without seeing the beauty in it. It meant that miracles were true and that hope could be found. The world was not to be given up on as well as the fates of those living in it. The other angels wanted a war ad Castiel didn't, basic logistics but even he found himself pained that he could no longer fly up to where he was meant to be, to his home like the kite was now. His orbs shifted slowly to the red head, his head following after as he found how she had taken on the visage of Von. Then again the Goddess was in all ways Von and it took him too little too late to figure that out until his supervisor had stepped in. Now that he had betrayed his own he wondered how long it would take him to fully lose all he had known and become what he had fought for in the end.

"Where is Samuel Winchester?"

"Charmingly blunt and to the point like the rest of your kin," Astarte's smile faded a smidge, "he's safe, don't worry yourself over it my feathery glitter bug," she replied raising her hand and fondly messing up his hair. She knew he would take it because it would surprise and confuse him and then he would analyze it like he did with everything else.

Astarte laughed at the idea, cupping Castiel's chin and delving deep into his crystalline blue orbs with her swirling mercurial ones to gaze upon his essence, all pure and snowy white. Dimmed now for punishment from not following through on orders to kill her when she was human, not that that would have made much a difference but angels would only belief what they were instructed to. Very few strayed from that path.

While Astarte was not lost on the beauty of the qauint scene ahead of them it was powerfully ironic as well. The man whose memory he was replaying in his dream, a pleasant Tuesday afternoon flying a kite, drowned in a bathtub shortly after. There are only so mnay reasons a person could drown in a bathtub.

"If you had a soul Castiel I would say it was a poetic one," she complimented. It was depressing to see his wings clipped he had been such an obedient little soldier now his heart filled ever more with doubt. The sight of it was delicious.

Still the angel was cautious, Castiel was not so naive to not realize the peril he was in not a mere foot away from the being that could scatter both the bones of his vessel and the divine matter that made up his own being with a simple twist of her wrist. Astarte stepped closer, breaching what humans would describe as their 'comfort zone'. Castiel of course had no such concept of that trait, none the less she sensed him tensing and leaning back the slightest of fractions that would be undetectable to the human eye.

Her intimidating aura was the culprit, pressing against his own essence and easily washing over him with a mix of sultry sumptuousness and an underlying primal rage. Reaching out behind him Astarte brushed a hand gently down the edge of his wing sensing it weakened by his more powerful brothers scheming. Astarte's eyes flashed amused at the tiniest of facial twinges that Castiel attempted to mask with neutrality, she enjoyed the resistance unlike many human who were too weak to put up much of a fight.

He wasn't sure what the feeling was but he turned and walked towards the boy, he placed his hand on his shoulder, though the boy never really felt it when he had done this that once, he knew his suffering. Castiel blinked as his hand fell through the solid body and through the air. He was gone. But the dream was still going, he was standing inside a familiar house he had been in his true form but couldn't be seen by any humans as their eyes would burn. This was his vessel's home and he was watching as for the first time they weren't trying to conceive their daughter but the time that was when they made love. Except there was something different about this. He didn't know what it meant and it confused him. Why dream of this when it wasn't him? It wasn't a memory of his but of the vessel.

Facing Astarte he wasn't sure how to proceed. How did one change their own dreams? It seemed to some it was easy, but to Dean it was hard. How was it triggered? He could still feel the hand on his wing that none could see normally and he slowly brushed the front of his trench coat as if he was straightening when really he didn't care for such things that were miniscule and unimportant. "Where is Samuel Winchester?" he repeated, it seemed the only thing he could think of to say. There might have been a word for what he was experiencing right now but he couldn't think upon it.

"Look at them Castiel. See how they breathe and move together in a harmony that transcends the base impulse to breed. Conceiving their child is the miracle of this love and I know you understand the power of miracles."

She removed her hand from his wing and draped it over the angel's shoulders as they watched. Castiel's vessel wasn't an empty suit to be filled, he was once a man and he still inhabited his body. Astarte could the soul underneath the angel's light and his name was Jimmy Novak, an honest and decent man who tried to do right by everybody. He might have been pushed down by all the weighty righteousness that made up the angel, but his soul was still attached to his body, and what his body felt so he felt. Again the point was not to get to the human, which was easy. This exercise was to test the angel's loyalties to his old ways and to open his eyes to new ones, to guide him with subtlety on the path of straying from his Lord and his treacherous kin of whom there were many. If not sweet for the angel it would be sweet for the Goddess.

"Are you confused by what is stirring inside of you Castiel?" she asked softly as she watched the man and wife the covers slipping off and their soft not pale but not quite tan bodies exposed to the dimly lit room. Beads of sweat collecting in the valleys and dips of their skin, breathing and gentle collision warming the room around them. "Are you afraid of it?"

"I do not fear such things."

Castiel lied, it wasn't the first time but he knew that to many his eyes gave many lies spoken away to be just that. He brought his eyes from the sight; it wasn't scary as it was confusing. There were things he was starting to have to realize he might have to do to actually survive with being cut off from Heaven. Human feelings, human needs. It was only a matter of time he would have to release fecal matter and he though educated he wasn't sure he could replicate results. Same that went with other things. It was strange enough to ride in a car for the full travel for the first time and now he was watching the main act that made him feel ashamed to be so shy and what many would call embarrassed.

The memory quickly faded and he was merely standing in a garden, a mirror image of the meeting area in Heaven very familiar to all angels. Now he could only dream about it. "You are here for a reason and that reason isn't answering my question that I seek most for Dean Winchester and Bobby Singer. What reason are you here for?"

"I answered your question, you're only upset because it wasn't the answer you wanted." She smiled at the little lie he had told, it was more for his own benefit than to pull the blind over her eyes. It was cute, she would give him that. "I could give you a little more in letting you know that he will return in time to his brother and surrogate father and that is all I will speak on the matter. As for why I'm here my naive feathered friend." She breathed against his neck as her eyes locked onto the pulse point. "The reason is you, I wanted to apologize for the inconveniences I inflicted upon you."

She gently touched the bruising around his eye and jaw line. Astarte wished to be more intimately aware of the bruising she had dealt over his entire torso, she began to quietly debate forcing herself on him or taking the patience to work her will into his psyche.

"You understand why I had to." Astarte caressed his wing, feather by feather. The truth was Sam was nowhere in San Francisco, he wasn't even on the same continent, Astarte had left breadcrumbs on the wrong trail to find Sam Winchester and on the right trail of something different altogether.

He understood, for many reasons as to why his brothers in the past had led those that have betrayed them to remove them from being in the way. He was now one of those that were in the way of their plans. He had betrayed them...Castiel's hand shot to her wrist and held it away from his wing and he wasn't sure why he did so. Releasing he let his hand fall back to the normal position. Castiel swallowed and suddenly felt as if he were back on that couch again and the pizza guy on the television screen showed how much he really loved the woman before him. A little intrigued but embarrassed when Dean came in to tell him otherwise and give him a look of...he couldn't place it.

The angel knew very well of whom Astarte was and what she caused in humans but he was anything but human yet stirrings were raising that made him unsure and questioning. "What are you doing exactly?" he asked, it was about the moment but he tried to avoid it so he made it sound as if he was mentioning her plans on Sam and doing what she has done to be where she is now.

"There's no need to feel ashamed Castiel." Astarte carefully closed the space between them again, her eyes sparkling with silver flecks from anger or perhaps another fierce emotion. "And there's no need to lie to me to protect your integrity." She touched her temple with her index finger and let it slide down and away flashing him a fanged grin letting him know she could see inside that buzzing brain of his. "I understand this is a confusing time for you, cut off from Heaven with no one to turn to except the humans you were supposed to persuade to follow in line with the Heavenly prophecy. I can see how frustrating that would be for you, working as hard as you have to keep it all together without any gratitude from those in your charge and where's your boss she hasn't exactly been helpful now has she? Way for her to string you along and leave you to hang as fodder."

Astarte stepped away apparently suddenly interested in the space around her, touching the imaginary leaves and brushing the tips of her fingers against the fine limbs of the trees. She knew Castiel was trying not to stare at her, his glance a mixture of suspicion and intrigue, he struggled with his stick up the ass propriety and his curiosity for things he had never dreamed to taste until now. She smiled with her back to him and closed her eyes to the sound of Castiel's memory. He clearly liked complete stillness, not the call of crickets or the song or birds or the whisper of the wind added any ambiance to this dream. The picture was nothing but a dismal and dreary duplication without sound to give it life.

"I want you," she turned to him, "I want you to continue to open up and break free of the chains that Heaven has leashed you to, you are not a dog Castiel you have the potential to be something much more, something special."

He was listening but something caused the stirrings to grow wild inside when she said 'I want you'. But she continued so they quelled. Castiel was confused even more so now. "I have disobeyed my father, my brothers and sisters...is that supposed to be special?"

It wasn't a question it was more of what he had seen in Dean on many accounts. Anger. Coming back from that he wasn't human, he was an angel beside his father, he was-never going to be taken in again. His father might forgive him, as he knew him to be there, he knew that his father cared for all his creations and though he disobeyed he was still fighting to do the right thing. He couldn't ever go back to Heaven because of Zachariah and the others. Anna hasn't even come to see him since the lead and even then he begins to wonder maybe he had even been exiled by even her. Walking towards the Goddess looking as Von, this is Astarte...this is the one that should have been released from Hell and yet he found from observation and listening, she was cruel, she was a force to be reckoned with as she killed his brethren. There was a kind gentleness to her that puzzled him. This he was not expecting from her.

"What shall I inform to the others when I awaken about Samuel? You do know I feel it to be a duty to give information to them about this matter."

Astarte clasped Castiel's jaw, "I'm not repeating myself." She gazed steady and deep into his eyes while her fingers dug into his face. "See to it you do everything within your power to take care of Dean." Her grip loosened to a gentle caress and she brushed her lips over Castiel's before disappearing in the span of a blink, which allowed the angel a minute to himself before waking to Dean standing by the fireplace with a tumbler of whiskey in his hand.

Astarte returned to Sam who was still sleeping soundly, a nightmare or two had troubled him but once she cradled him in her arms he calmed. She ran her pale fingers through his shaggy hair, twirling thin strands around and letting them free to rest against Sam's head. She hummed and sang a wordless lullaby, gentle and sweet even while the press of his warm body against her and his musk stirred the insatiable hunger within her. Her eyes rolled into her head and she pressed the tip of her tongue against one of her fangs. She could make it so that he wouldn't feel the pain, she could make it pleasurable for him beyond any human measure. Astarte resumed singing the melodic tune while she eyed Sam's throat, the crook of his arm, his wrist and traveling down his hip and inner thigh.

888

Sam didn't know how long he was asleep, all he knew was that the dream was troubling him, the sound and feel of something else made him relax. The dream shifted to him being at the home that he would have lived in if his mother didn't die, he was in the nursery and the house was all lit, smelling like flowers and he could hear the tune drift up the stairs from where he imagined the kitchen would be. Descending he wanted to see his mother, he wanted to see her because the only time he really saw her was when they had to save that family and she saved him from the poltergeist. Turning at the bottom and going down the small hall and into the kitchen she was nowhere in sight. But the tune carried on. "Mom?" he asked.

The answer came from the dining room to his left, heading in there, there she was. Dressed in her nightgown that she had died in and sitting beside her was Von. Not Astarte, it was Von, the nervous and shy, talking with Mary and he just stared. Immersed into their own conversation they didn't notice him and that was when he felt the hand on his neck, the mouth, turning to look it was Astarte, appearing as Von but with longer hair and the small fangs showing. Sam leaned his back against the door frame his hands going to her hips as she stepped forward and pressed her body to his, they kissed and it was full of heat and passion. He made sure her hips were in line with his to make her feel everything and he moved his mouth to her neck, suckling, kissing and giving a small scrape of the teeth before his head was forced back against the wood.

Mary and Von were at the table watching now and his eyes flicked from them to Astarte. "It's okay Sammy, I approve of your girlfriend. You need to provide for her and make her happy," Mary voiced with a soft smile.

Von opened her mouth and exhaled, looking down at her hands and then grabbing a knife beside her on the table. Standing she moved around to where they were standing and looked at the pulse point on the neck on the right side while Astarte looked on the left side. Together Von cut into that part and Astarte bit into it, mirroring as their mouths met his skin and began to drink from him. His head tilted back a bit and his grip was on the wood, hands beside his hips and he exhaled like he was experiencing ecstasy but there was a will to fight. The world began to cloud but when the mouths released after a long while, the two of them stopped him before he could slide to the floor. Helping him towards the couch in the living room where Mary was sitting, he was laid down, head on his mothers lap and her hand ran through his hair. The hum came back and he stared up at her while Astarte and Von held hands.

"That's my baby boy...I love you Sammy. I'm so proud of you."

Sam awoke in that moment and he felt a slight sting on his neck, he knew that Astarte was touching him but he sat up, his hand moving to the part and came away with blood. Looking at Astarte he knew the wound was healing and he wasn't mad, but he was confused. Why would he have that dream?

888

Seeing and feeling that he was awake, Castiel waited a good possibly ten minutes before he rose up and spoke. "I have news...Sam is safe and he will return when the time is right." When the words came out he stared at Dean who was about to say something on the matter but then stopped when Castiel gave him the look of how he knew. Astarte had visited him. "The only thing we can do is do our duty to the world."

Dean stared back at Castiel, his gaze hard and cold at the news the angel reported and the angel's own naivety. Sam would return when the time was right, what the fuck did that mean? What was Astarte planning on doing with him in between now and then, would Sam even be the same brother he knew? Grumbling about Castiel being a damn retard, Dean swallowed the last mouthful of whiskey and set the empty glass on the mantle. He decided when Cas was out that they were going to San Francisco so Dean could see for himself what was going on, if Astarte was there maybe she would listen to him and return his brother safely. Dean was willing to bet that the thing they had going in the Pit would save his bacon from getting flayed by the Goddess, and while he was at it he might as well surgically insert a lucky horseshoe up his ass.

They would be taking the Impala since Castiel was grounded, as far as Dean knew indefinitely, and while Dean should have caught up on his sleep he was fueled by the strong need to find his brother whatever the consequences that wrought. Astarte had not given an ultimatum with searching for her, which meant she wanted them to go looking. If this was a game Dean was not amused in the least.

"I'm surprised she didn't turn whatever cosmic faerie dust you're made out of into chewing gum in dreamland." The sarcasm was there and heavy and so was suspicion. What was Astarte wanting with the angel if not a chew toy? It turned his stomach with dread, filled with only whiskey didn't help either. Without waiting for Castiel to come up with some sort of logical reply Dean walked out of the study. "Hope you got enough sleep because we're heading to San Francisco to find Sam."


	7. Chapter 7

**Note:  Thought that since Tori is feeling better but still have migraines and that it will be her birthday tomorrow February 16th, that we'd ****update this. Enjoy!**

**May 6, 2009**

**3:42PM**

**San Francisco**

Castiel wasn't sure why Dean was so insistent. He wanted to find Sam too but there was no way that they could really find him here. There were no signs and they had almost searched the entire northern section of San Francisco. Could Castiel stand through three other sections of the city? Still healing and still no word from Anna and no ability to travel to check on things. Dean wouldn't listen to him and so he stayed behind now and then to rest. Was given medicine that was foreign to him but they seemed to make things a little bit better and he thanked Bobby on those occasions. The full moon would be in two days and that meant that Sam would be going through his shift at that time. Castiel could tell that Dean wanted to have Sam found before then so he could be there for him.

It would have been no use to inform Dean once more that Sam would return to them when the time was right. Castiel was no longer a being with power that could argue with Astarte. The wounds healing slowly proved it. Time would tell and he wasn't sure who would win out. Dean's determination or Astarte's decision.

888

The full moon was in two days and Sam could feel it coming, but it helped to be around Astarte. She helped but at the same time heightened that part of him. After that dream he had, he couldn't stop analyzing it when he had the chance. What did it mean? He picked out some of the obvious parts but why have that dream now? Why have it at all? Sam stared out the cave opening and looked out at the nature around. He was in tune with the noises coming from far away and very nearby, as well as the smells of where animals have marked territory, those that have mated and those that were killed or born. Other things that came to him was the knowledge that there was a lack of car sounds, people talking, nothing that signified anything human or technology based in the area. It was meant to be that way.

Looking down at his hands he had eaten recently and there was a small amount of a stain on the palm of his hand that would wash off entirely once it was dry. Feeling Astarte behind him he looked up and watched her sit beside. "It's getting closer..." A beat. "I'm scared."

Astarte's eyes darkened with an unreadable emotion while she stoked the flames with what could have been a walking stick made from a poplar tree. "What is it you're afraid of?" she asked checking slightly over her shoulder from where she sat beside Sam.

Little Sammy was always afraid this time of month, afraid the wolf inside would eat him up, devour all the goodness that was him like it was some evil soulless thing. And he had come to despise it for reveling in the taste of blood and how powerful it made him feel, because he knew he should have felt guilty from those sensations. Or was it that he could perceive that Astarte's presence would make it a different experience than one he had ever known, she had already defied many of the borders he had set up to create his idea of how the world was. Sam's birth into a werewolf had been improper by Astarte's standards, this would be his rebirth and he would reap the benefits of her care.

He blinked. What was he afraid of? Wasn't it obvious? Thing was he thought it was until she asked him. It wasn't. "I don't know. I've been scared since I've had my first shift. Scared of what happens once a month. Being forced to change, I mean it's different than when it just happens when I want it to. But the force, the lack of having choice once that moon comes out and whispers it is time while laying a gentle hand that anything but that on my skin making it ripple and ache more than it does when I'm with you running and hunting. And I guess I'm also scared because this time it will be different. I can feel it. Somehow it will be. Everything from the moment that moon comes up..." Sam paused, his eyes meeting hers with the fear he held inside, from both parts of him. "Will change."

Astarte nodded in understanding. She could see into Sam's mind and heart, the hope and fear was continuous through his entire being, she could admire his will to never give up. There always had to be a way to get past an obstacle, there had to be. It was Sam's motto, even if it brought him to defeat in the long run. Dean was much the same, but he was growing weary of the world in a bone deep soul aching sort of way that many could not begin to compare to. His brother kept him going, despite betrayals that broke his heart and the will to bother caring he still loved his brother and would tear apart the world to find him as he was in the midst of doing right now.

In San Francisco she had pulled a risky move in placing Dean, Castiel and Bobby Singer in the Lucifer's path. The fallen angel had his own plans to reshape the world to his image, as long as his motives suited Astarte's need she would continue to let him have his fun, even a Goddess could not be in all places at once even if she saw all that was developing throughout the world.

"Everything _will_ change," she said and clasped her hands under Sam's chin with her fingers extended over his cheeks. The green and white of her eyes was consumed wholly by swirling mercury, the vast light of a starry sky sparkling within them.

_Everything already is changing,_ her voice breathed inside Sam's mind like a soft breeze in a dark forest, kissing against him like the silver of the moon.

Sam welcomed the kiss only to pull back and furrow his brows. A small vibration echoed in the earth and he looked back out into the world. Something had occurred and he sighed. Curiosity and so many questions he's been thinking since that dream. "So if you are Von and not at the same time...explain to me that situation, please. I want to understand, maybe it might help me understand what I am too."

888

There had been no warning, maybe a small rumble hardly a minute before the quake hit and shattered the ground under San Francisco's feet. Roads swallowed cars in their gaping maws and buildings vied for dominance as they toppled into each other, more than three precariously using each other to keep the other upright. A cacophony of screams, car horns and other indiscernable sounds of destruction filled the city to deafen any sense of rational thought. Smoke and embers were quick to fill the air in the downtown core and spotted through the outskirts, fire hydrants uselessly pumping out their supply skywards. Emergency crews were quick to respond only to find that with all their training and preparation they still had their work cut out for them.

An unease slithered through the streets once the rumbling died down and for an hour there had been no sight or sound of another geographical occurance until a peel of aftershocks rippled under the ground like a waking dragon. Skyscrapers fell, crashing into the ground with giant shockwaves; surges of dust and debris choked and crushed those that had survived the initial quake. Dean had been asleep drifting to consciousness when he heard Sorcha barking frantically when he was shaken from his bed, the room jarring and tipping sending anything loose scattering wildly throughout.

The hunter's head jerked up in time to get clipped in the head with the alarm clock that had flown from its perch on the nightstand. With a groan he clamped his hand onto his head and squinted through the skullache to assess what had just happened. A flap of tan trench coat was seen under one of the beds and Dean heard Bobby's distinct string of curses coming from the bathroom. Making his way around the mess he grabbed hold of the bed and tipped it over to find Castiel underneath with a perplexed expression on his face, apparently the angel hadn't sensed it either but Sorcha had and she had been trying to wake up Dean to tell him. Not that it would have helped since he didn't speak dog.

"Thanks anyway dog," Dean said as he hauled Cas to his feet by his arm before walking to the bathroom door and knocking. The last thing he wanted was to walk in on the old man half naked and covered in his own shit. "Bobby, you okay in there?" the elder Winchester asked safely behind the door.

Peachy," Bobby replied.

It wasn't the matter of the earthquake that unsettled him it was the fact that he was trying to have a moment to himself that it happened. He was now fine and had missed items that came his way. Even missed falling into the bathtub and cracking his skull against the tiles. That would have been disastrous. Exiting the bathroom he found that Castiel wasn't sure what had happened and along with confusion. Did he not sense it before it happened?

Something was wrong, first Sam was gone then Castiel was now living like a human and now the earthquake which Bobby had a bet he knew who was behind it. Looked like someone was bored and needed a little destruction. The angel moved towards the window to look outside. Rubble everywhere and he barely got a hit when he thought he had lost all contact he opened his mouth to speak. "This is Lucifer's work. There is a small essence to it that I am picking up but nothing else is coming to me."

Lucifer. Bobby wondered if the big guy was in town or if he was working from afar, chances were the latter if he knew that they were there. It still confused on a certain level though. Out of all the things that the Apocalypse and Lucifer were expected to bring and what came was an earthquake. Made them think more on why Lucifer was doing small stuff, not really acting out as badly as they assumed he would. Assumptions never proved to be right in their case as of late.

888

_Situation?_ Astarte tilted her head in what appeared to be confusion, _you make it sound as if it's a problem in need of solving_, her eyes narrowed into silver slits at Sam. _Von is just a name, one of many I have. I understand to you it's something more, it defined a person who you cared for deeply; it's an embodiment of a collection of memories and experiences. I remember everything of that life, every word, every touch_, she stroked his abdomen sensually, _and how you betrayed me for a demon whore_, she scratched at his chest where his heart was caged leaving fine red lines. _Von was a part of me left behind here_, she pointed to the ground to refer to the Earth, _while the rest of me was dragged to the Underworld, not all of me could be taken you see and so what little essence was left to wander until the time was ripe for it to be born through human flesh and then to join me so I could become whole and be reborn freed from my prison._

Astarte stood then troubled by keeping so still when she wanted to stretch and make up for lost time from being trapped in Hell. Raising her arms she stretched upwards, muscles moving under marble skin dusted with cinnamon freckles and a small satisfied moan left her. It was a very human action, very disarming in it's fragility. She had some fun before she took Sam, but much more work had to be done that she looked forward to. Things were already in motion and there was a certain satisfaction with that knowledge.

"Does that help you understand what you are?"

Astarte turned her forest green eyes on the man and stared. She knew it hardly helped him at all at least not in the way he had thought it was going to. She breathed in, eyes fluttering as she searched across the sea to the west coast of the Americas, to Dean Winchester struggling through the aftermath with Castiel and Bobby at his back, an unknown song to her blaring out from a car it's radio the only thing that still functioned. The beat was surprisingly alluring and the words ironic in a way that made her smile to herself. Her body swayed to the song that only she could hear, she enjoyed dancing and her moves went beyond the understanding of civilized conventions. Astarte's body hummed with energy and one could almost see the air move with a shimmer as she moved, dust rose up around her ankles and the fire twirled and licked upwards with life.

It didn't. Sam would have liked to know more, or he didn't know what he was looking for. He guessed it was like Alex's situation had been with her demon half when they found her again. Two parts in one person, and the other still felt and wanted contact. But it wasn't the same. So Astarte was all of Von but the personality was different to him all the same. Sam hated to say it, though he had Astarte...Von...back he missed the shy yet feisty green orbed woman. When he brought his attention to her dancing he furrowed his brows. Ears intent he couldn't hear anything, standing up he brushed his pants off and moved towards her, the energy coming from her had his interest piqued and he forgot all about what he missed. In a way this version of Von, who was really Astarte was refreshing, it held all that was her and all that wasn't. Something more.

Hands going to her hips from behind he rested his chin on her shoulder, watching her enjoy the music he could not hear and moved his hips in time with hers. He found the flame illuminating her face mesmerizing and fingers began to drift, grabbing hold of her hands he twirled her out and then back in sharp and grabbed hold of her left thigh and lifted it to encircle his waist. Breathing picked up and yet he was nowhere near out of breath. Sam rested his forehead to hers and held her there as he slowly moved, the friction between them, parts to parts a dance and tease.

The power coming off of her had him at calm. Peace. But at the same time a sexual appetite waiting to be fulfilled. Smiling he pulled away and twirled her again, watching her dance away from him and around the fire he followed with attentive eyes that hadn't changed but he was learning. The more he gave into his needs and wants the more the wolf became one. Became him. And _he_ was restless.

Bending low, back arching, arms going out and then to her sides as she stood and rolled up onto the balls of her feet, onto one foot, pirouetting once, dipping low and rising to pirouette again. The fire glowed against her pale skin, making her appear as a fire sprite that had escaped from the flames to dance for Sam. She caught his gaze as her hips swayed hands running through her long flowing hair untamed and wild. Astarte's green eyes closed and she danced blind, feet landing perfectly for her to rise and thrust, arch and curl and rise again for one hand to run down her thigh while the other combed through her mane of hair.

Opening her eyes the song faded away yet she still danced to her own rhythm, a tribal expression of shameless desires and untapped power. Her body said come hither yet the energy thrumming from her warned to stay away least anyone burn up from the inside and fall to dust. And finally when the heat in the cave reached a volcanic crescendo she stopped and the fire was quenched in a rush leaving the cave pitch black save for the glitter of sunlight that entered from the mouth. The cool, refreshing breeze of the outside drifted into the cave and eased the heat, cooling the sweat that coated Astarte's and Sam's bodies. Astarte found him in the dark, tucking her slender fingers in the waistband of his jeans, pulling her chest to his and feeling his heart pound against her bosom.

He chuckled and tilted his head slightly, eyes roaming her face and in between them and up. Sam rocked them back and forth slow as if in a slow dance, just enough to have them move against the other. Directing her towards where he knew the fire had been he laid down, pulling her down and against him, hands going to her hair to move it out of her face and to hold it while his lips met hers. The kiss was slow but with a bite of hunger, he was sexually aroused from the show and yet he wanted calm right now, to not really give into it. It was nice when they did it in the forest but it tended to wear him out so badly he could sleep for days. No, slow and steady, feeling her hands go to the front of his jeans to undo them he let her remove them while he removed the dress she wore.

Sam's movements were tender and subtle, still holding the sense of wanting to delve into fast and dangerous but he was holding off. He wanted to enjoy this, he missed this. _I missed her..._

888

_'So I found myself in the sun...oh yeah_

_Hell of a place to end a run, oh yeah_

_California I'm fine, somebody check my brain_

_California's alright, somebody check my brain'_

Dean pulled his bulk atop the edge of a slab of asphalt that used to be a road, choking on the dust that refused to settle. Getting sick of the dust and smoke he pulled out a wrinkled bandana he had tucked in his pocket and wrapped it around the lower portion of his face, it was mediocre at best but it helped. Scanning the area his hazel-green orbs locked onto a pick-up truck that had been opened like a tin can on its side, the radio playing and one headlight blinking off and on.

It was the first thing he heard in hours that wasn't a cry for help bouncing off of twisted metal and concrete from some unknown place. No one was in the vehicle and the only sight of another person was blood splatters in random and impossible places. The devastation was a shout back to the 1906 quake that flattened San Francisco and what that didn't do a monstrous fire had taken care of.

Dean had only seen anything close to it in photos and movies, he had never experienced the jarring disorientation that being in the middle of a disaster like this caused. His survival training was kicking in, but that wasn't stopping him from searching for Sam, the earthquake put more of a strain on Dean. What if Sam was now trapped beneath the rubble, crushed or slowly dying?

The stupid hunter was looking for his brother. Didn't take a genius for others to find out. Especially since there wasn't much with stopping things with the Winchester. One mission road. She remembered the last time she saw this one, when she fed him to those mermaids. Left him there for them to have but she should have known better that he would make it out alive. He always seemed to, yet his girlfriend appeared to not.

A group of other demons was with her, tearing through the town after the earthquake that their father, their creator had set into motion. Right now a tsunami was beginning to run course in some country or island. She was wearing a new body now, the other one didn't last with a specific hunter she had run into and made it out in time to not be sent back to Hell. Stepping out she had told the others a while ago when she spotted him to circle around. She wanted a little chat. Her new name was Zoey, nice little blond, braided over her shoulder and ended at her breasts. Fitted jeans, boots and a nice tank under a leather jacket.

"Can you help me?" she asked, looking scared, playing it up, shaking and a little bit of blood from a car on her shirt.

Scrambling down onto a more even part of road Dean cautiously approached the woman and gave her a nod. Bobby and Castiel were further back on the rough terrain; if Dean looked back he would not be able to see them with a clear line of sight. "What's wrong...aside from the blatantly obvious?" He looked her over to see if she was hurt, she was pretty but no obvious wounds aside from what might have been her own blood on her shirt. "You alright?" He motioned to the blood with a concerned frown.

"I think so. My car crashed in the quake and my stitches tore open," lie, it was someone else's blood. "My cell phone doesn't work and you're the first one I've seen out here since." Feigning blood loss she stumbled and fell onto her knees on the ground, hand on the spot. Plan was get him close, check the wound and box him in.

Dean grabbed her by the shoulders to steady her and was ready to help her sit properly. He was too focused on helping the wounded civilian to hear the niggling in his brain that something was not right. "Just hang on." Dean made to stand, intent to turn and crawl back up the rock to signal for Bobby and Castiel to hurry over and help. But he wasn't able to make it that far.

Zoey grinned when the others popped in and took hold of the hunter, she stood and removed his weapons from his person and tossing them aside. Eyes turned to black and she couldn't help but smile wide. "Can't believe you fell for it, really does a lot for my ego on acting skills. Remember me? The one you called Morticia? Well I have to agree that body was a little on the dark side. Didn't get me far. However this one, gets me everything. Who wouldn't want to help the pretty blond, fresh out of college, California beach babe?" A beat. "He's not here, neither is the bitch you are looking for. So give up, because it's only going to get you killed. Like for instance stepping into my town that I decided to have fun in. No hunters allowed." A punch served into his gut, hand grabbing his hair she made him look up at her.

Dean glowered up at the demon, deciding whether he could believe her. The only thing he could trust was that demons lied. "Like I'm gonna believe you," Dean scoffed sarcastically and winced from his hair being pulled from the movement. Groaning He renewed his glare with extra venom.

"You should if you want this girl to live. She's still in here, she has a little brother just like you do. And we've searched this whole town for that bitch and for any hunters residing. We don't want competition, in fact we'd like to not have a worry about dying or being sent back to Hell." She had her other hand run along his cheek. "Aw so cute when you try and be tough."

"Fuck you, bitch!" Dean spat and growled when she yanked on his hair like he was a bad dog. Bobby and Castiel had better hurry their asses up before Dean went and did something stupid.

888

Bobby tilted his head up from where he had been watching his boots traversing the rough landscape when he thought he heard Dean's voice sound off in agitation. By the sounds of it he wasn't alone. Taking his shotgun he crept forward as best as an old man could, signaling for Cas to button his lip and follow suit. He couldn't be sure what Dean had bumped into so the best plan was to sneak up on it and hope for the best.

888

"Right here and in front of everyone? Kinky." Signaling for one guy to bring one of the blades Dean had before she confiscated it she took hold of it and examined it. "You know I'm not much for weapons, but for you'll make an exception."

About to start in on the hunter she stopped at the sound of shots ringing out and fellow demons writhing on the asphalt. Behind her she turned and found a man in a trench coat, placing his fingers against some heads and watched as they were gone. Castiel had some juice left in him and he could use it to help Dean and Bobby out. He wasn't fully human. Zoey turned back to find the others gone, the sacks empty. They left her! Dean had her against one of his own knives and she stared at it.

"Don't want to kill this meat suit Dean, she has a brother to get to after all."

"Cas," Dean called without taking his eyes or knife off the demon. Waiting for the angel to get closer he spoke to him while keeping the blonde perfectly in his sight. "Think you can zap the demon out of her without hurting the girl inside?"

The angel glanced to the girl, he wasn't sure. He only knew of ways to get demons out of the suits but usually the power he used to took out the humans as well. Sometimes they were beyond repair, he knew this one wasn't, but it left him confused. Uncertain. "I can not be sure it'll leave her."

"Of course I won't leave, I've gone through measures. I'm locked inside this suit. It's the perfect mess for hunters and angels like you to try and figure out." She paused, she had to save her skin and she wasn't going to like what she was about to say. "I can help you."

"You were about to spill my guts out on the floor a second ago."

The deadly light in his eyes told the demon how he really wanted to stick the knife in her and be done with it. Dean tilted Von's knife against the demon's throat, his face hard as stone. Last time they let a demon get close enough to trust Sam let Lucifer out of the box and two of the people they cared most about died. Dean would be damned if he ever tried to trust one again.

"If we needed any help you'd be the last person we'd ask," the hunter grit out. He wanted to slice her neck open just for the way she was grinning at him and it was as if Bobby could sense it because he stepped up.

"Dean," he cautioned a warning, "we gotta find a way to get the girl out before ya start cutting 'er up." He gave a nod when Dean understood and eased off a fraction. "Cas ya got some way of tying 'er up so she can't shanghai her way outta here." The elder hunter told the angel, hoping that Castiel had some idea on a binding spell of some sort to make sure the demon stayed put. Maybe they could put her to some use.

Castiel was thinking, there wasn't too much he remembered, that was the bad part. Not only was he unable to travel, he was unable to heal and unable to remember a way to remove the demon and leave the human, but now he couldn't remember bindings. "Aw, angel boy lost his powers? Father cast you away?"

In reality she would never think to ally herself with the Winchester and his gang, after all he did know her she just wasn't stupid enough to say it aloud in open setting. Staying with them and saying she could help was perfect, protection from the Goddess because it was known that she should be scared of her and she could find Sam for Lucifer. Since he was the vessel and all and Lucifer needed one soon, his current was decaying and she had no doubt he was already scouting. Not like he was going to jump in Sam until he could say yes and once his precious Anti-Christ was ready. Meg hated the name Zoey, hated the name she had with the previous body.

"I just said I can help you and you think I'm going to run away like some schoolgirl? If you want to believe me or find some fragment of trust then let's go somewhere private. I don't need ears listening in, dangerous nowadays to let loose certain information right angel boy?" Meg said, referring to hearing about his big run in with the bitch herself and landing in the hospital. Rolling her eyes when they stared at her she raised her hands and tilted her head up, hinting with her eyes to lead the way.

888

Black and blue orbs stared up, anywhere but him anywhere but the faces watching in their hiding places that they thought were so cunning but she knew. Alistair knew. Screaming she jerked against the bonds and sharply inhaled as if she was fighting for air. Alex hadn't experienced Alistair's work before, this was her first time and it was horrendous, there were things to hate and fear in Hell and she had found it. She feared Alistair because he was talented, he was better than her and he knew all the things that made her squeal that no one else could find. Not even Leon. Not even her parents. That frightened her.

"You're a fucking dick," Alex snarled, she was fighting to hold on, fighting for who knew how long anymore and it was so close to slipping. He made it hard. The next scream ripped from her and she choked on her own blood, coughing it up and to her side where she spit it out, disgusted that it landed on her arm and in her hair. Turning her head slowly to land on Alistair's face her chest heaved against the straps. "Stop. Please."

"So polite all of a sudden." Alistair held his knife aloft but close enough to Alex's face that she could smell the blood putrefying on the blade. "I suppose it's better late than never for you to use some manners. I can respect your sincerity but not your request."

The demon's hand slid the knife neatly under Alex's skin almost visible under the first layers as it filleted the flesh from the muscle causing a thin stream of vibrant red to wash over Alex's abdomen and legs. Placing several fishhooks in his hand he took a single hook and one by one laced them under the skin to pull the meat out from under the bloodied hide, exposing it to the sulfuric air.

"Since we're on the topic of propriety I think it's only courteous to point out that it's not your petty little imp of a pupil that's put me up to this. I've long had the yearning if you'd like to call it to try my hand at making the _great and mighty_ Alex Tatiani quiver and weep under my knife," he rasped through his pitted nose with a grin that would make cockroaches vomit.

Alex swallowed and felt her throat convulse but she wasn't going to vomit. "I don't think I'm _that_ great and mighty. You flatter me, really." A wince and she whimpered trying hard to keep this one scream in. "And I wouldn't expect Leon to be the reason for any higher demon to do anything he wills. You know if I weren't tied up right now, I'd want a swing at you. I know what you did to Dean, I've seen it. Gah!"

She hated that she was proving this demon's words right. She was quivering and weeping under him, at what he was doing. Alex honestly never wanted to meet Alistair, it was like knowing who not to meddle with. The lines not to cross but yet now that she was here in his presence, dealing with him she couldn't resist her attitude and stubborn bitchiness. Trademark and it helped her get through so much in her life and well...Hell.

"What's wrong? Sounds like you need some nasal spray there Urkel." It couldn't be helped, the laugh left her.

_Gotta hold on, gotta keep holding on. I can't lose, I have to hold on to what I have. My humanity._

Alistair chuckled, "Snarky comebacks to hide that fear and pain, you remind me of Dean when he was under my knife, making pathetic attempts at hiding how he really felt behind that snappy attitude and shit eating grin of his. I'd bet you know exactly how he feels, don't you?" Alex couldn't make Alistair angry, he wasn't one of the lower scum pushing demons whose misplaced sense of pride got in the way of his work. To him Alex was a privileged child and for that she was spoiled and not as nearly skilled compared to his many years. "If you could have seen him before the angels swiped him you would have been scared but deep down inside you would have been proud and in your own sick way turned on by how he carved into those writhing sacks of meat and bile, and made them scream in some of the most innovative ways possible. Gotta say, he had some of the best potential I've seen in centuries."

Her lip trembled slightly in anger and she yelled, jerked up against the restraints and spit in his face. "Don't talk about him. I'm nothing like him." Alex wasn't sure why she was saying this but it hit a nerve. She was darker than him, she was different and...no, no thinking like this. She wasn't dark, she was holding on. "Don't tell me how I am or how I feel. You don't know me. That was the old me and if I show any of that now it's only to get Leon off my back."

_I'm losing._

"You don't know Dean either."

_Feeble attempts._

Falling back she breathed, feeling her chest rising and falling against the restraint that held her torso down. A certain feeling roared inside her and she was confused and scared. Alistair knew how to get under her skin. Her eyes landed on him as she tried to understand.

_I don't know who I am anymore..._

"What are you doing to me?"

He never answered her and he just went back to torturing her. Alex felt parts of her breaking as she lay there screaming at the pain. It wasn't making sense. One simple thing and it had her reeling, her mind was racing and trying to work through things. One thing that hit her was that Alistair was basically saying that Dean was better than her. That was a part that made her mad and confused. In what way did he excel in this demon's eyes? Alex didn't realize that she had lost in that moment. Turning her head to Alistair she glared at him. "Dean is human how the fuck can he be better?"

_He can't be better, I was born a fucking abomination, feared when I was in the game and now I'm nothing compared to _him_?_

"He may have had the sack here at some point but up top he's nothing."

_Why am I thinking this? Dean isn't nothing. But damn it, I'm better! I'm not going to be upscaled by some hunter. Some guy that I..._

Hearing snickering coming from around her Alex found the eyes of the ones doing it, they were laughing at her. They laughed because she was so fired up that she was the one that was nothing in the eyes of everyone in Hell, Heaven and Earth. Alex hated them, she hated all of them. What did they know, she was powerful, she had so much potential and she would show them.

_No. Hold on. Hold on._

"Fuck all of you!"

No more holding on.


	8. Chapter 8

They found an abandoned office supply store at the corner of a crater and a toppled skyscraper; sirens could be heard in the distance and people shouting orders and frantic pleas for help. The glass windows were surprisingly intact and muffled the sounds of the outside to a distant din. "So why is it we should be trusting you again?" Dean quipped and folded his arms across his chest.

Bobby stood nearby hands more at his sides than anything with his shotgun ready to litter the demon with some nice heavy seasoning. Maybe this demon had some information and maybe she was a lying sack of scum but they wouldn't be any worse off for listening to what she had to say and deciding for themselves if it had any substance to it that wasn't utter bullshit. Minutes were ticking by, precious minutes.

"If you know where Sam is you better tell us, I don't care whose body you're in," Dean threatened with an evil glare.

Bobby glanced warily at him then back to the demon, there was no doubt in his mind that Dean would go through with something God awful to get answers when it came to his brother. It went against his morals but he wasn't entirely sure that he would try to stop the desperate man, it was tempting but he knew there was a girl in there, at least there could be and he didn't want to risk that girl's life if he could help it. Yet he gave emphasis to the point that Dean would be let off his chain to get at the demon if it came to it, he told the blond that much with an equally venomous appraisal in his eyes, his imagination filling the pretty face with an ugly visage of evil that helped his affirm his purpose instead of stepping up to her defense when Dean barked out his threats.

It was always a guess which Winchester brother had the hottest temper, Dean's was quick to spark and flare but it was usually quick burning. Sam's could roil on for days unchecked until he buried it before it could be quenched. It wasn't that Bobby got to day dreaming while on the job, sometimes he carefully reminisced while on his guard. Those two boys were like family, no they were family and if anything happened to them he wouldn't know what to do.

"Very interesting words, since you did mind when I was in that one body back then and when I was in Sam. Miss me?" Meg smirked and crossed her legs. "As for Sam specifically, I don't know where he is. I told you I searched this town before I even got to work. That bitch none of us wants to mess with so I'm being cautious. I can help because it looks like you could use a little juice on your team with heavenly high waters over there drained."

Castiel glanced at her sitting down on the seat she had chosen in the place. She was beautiful, in fact it reminded him a little of the woman in that one show he had watched the pizza man. He looked away as if to observe something else.

"Meg," Dean growled and stalked towards her, looming over the tiny blond like a huge pissed off storm cloud. "You've got a lot of nerve-" he cut himself off and studied Meg for a silent moment. "Why are _you_looking for them, there's no way you're hanging out here to take in the sights." He had to admit there was a hint of satisfaction on his face that Meg was afraid of bumping into Astarte. It almost made him forget how terrified she could make him feel.

She looked into his eyes and blinked. "She's doing it to save herself," Castiel mused aloud.

Meg's head slowly trailed to the trench-coated angel and she swallowed, turning back to Dean she hated seeing that satisfied look she found. "There's a proverbial demon APB on Sam. Alive, not harmed and word is that bitch has him...I've heard about that day she rose, I heard about that asylum too...do you honestly think I'm stupid to not stay here when she could be anywhere?" A beat. "And why are _you_looking for them, she obviously won't let you find them and hanging out here is pointless unless you now enjoy watching pain being inflicted to others through natural disasters." There was no way she was letting Dean get to her without returning the favor.

A smug grin found its way onto Dean's lips. Meg might have had a point, this search was pointless because Astarte was too good at playing keep away and with their angel's wings clipped that ruined any travel plans to far off and obscure destinations. So maybe Dean did believe Meg, only because there was a subtle shift in Meg's voice when she talked about the Goddess. He believed in her desire to steer as far away from her as possible. It was the smart thing to do.

Then why were they here, why was Castiel so certain that Astarte had set up shop in San Francisco? She led them here on purpose, she wanted them to be here and she was using Cas as the bloodhound to follow the trail. What was the purpose? Dean doubted she was wanting them dead, at least not him not after everything...She spared Castiel for whatever reasons and Dean hoped that some part of her remembered who and what she used to be and how much she loved Bobby as a father.

"You've given us a reason to stay, we're not leaving until you do, even if we have to drag you out."

Meg raised a brow. "Fine. I know a way we can both help each other. I can help you find Sam before any others do and whatever else you need in between just as long as you act as shields. I go nowhere without you if you go nowhere without me. She avoids you so sticking with you seems like a logical plan to keep my ass safe."

"Conditions..." Castiel voiced again.

"Now you are speaking more than you were earlier there angel boy."

"Castiel."

"Again, fine. What are your conditions?" she asked, eyes drifting to the hunters.

"For starters you're gonna leave the girl your riding and she better be in one piece when you do. Just remember if you so much as think about backstabbing us you'll have a pissed off deity on your ass for the rest of your life, which will be a hell of a lot shorter than you want it to be."

The conditions were not to her liking, she just got used to this body. Rolling her eyes she stood up and stepped close to Dean, enough to make him uncomfortable. "I need a body Dean and that requires picking one and sticking with it. If I leave this one, who do I go to? What am I supposed to do? Interview them? Which one has a life and which one doesn't? Oh I know you'll want to choose for me because that's how you are. All about trust." She glared. A sigh left her and she could only think of one solution that would make sense. "There is always a dead person. Does that make you happy? I'll be in a freshly dead nothing more than an hour. I have priorities. If we are going to do this we need to hit the hospital."

888

The hospital was in chaos, fresh causalities arriving every minute. It would be easy to take a body without anyone noticing sad enough. It wasn't going to take them long to find a suitable candidate. Hospitals usually reeked of cleaning chemicals to hide the smell of death, now death overrode it. When you entered into the emergency doors the waiting room stank of blood, thick and coppery.

"Make sure your new suit doesn't come with any attachments," Bobby put in, it wouldn't do them any good to have family find that their dead niece or sister walking around and to start asking questions.

Meg gave him a smirk and began picking up the clipboards in the compartments on the doors, reading them while wearing a white coat she had stolen; she opened the door and looked inside. Pulling out and closing the door she replaced the clipboard and moved on. After a while of searching she finally came across a reasonable candidate. Opening the door she let the gang come in and look at the file while she closed the area off, shut the blinds and moved towards the body.

Brunette. Short hair that flattered her features, supposedly hazel eyes, 5'5, 26 years old, parents died years ago in a car crash, no siblings, one grandma in a psyche ward and doesn't remember her. The medical record showed she wasn't going to make it with the bad heart attack she had during the earthquake. Profession...nurse. Ironically this hospital.

Meg reached for the breathing mask and removed it, seeing the three of them look at her like she was crazy she gestured with her head to the results. "She's going to die anyways, they were going to take her off the life support it is so bad. I'm doing her favor. Think of it that way."

The monitor beeped and Meg did everything in her power to turn it off and not signal any of the doctors or nurses in. She was going to be the one to pronounce her dead and they were going to take the body and say it was going to be transferred to the Morgue in her hometown in Illinois. All plans went accordingly and by the time they gained their own ambulance while Dean and Cas went to the Impala to meet them. Meg had made sure to leave the blond's body behind at the hospital before jumping into the body in the moving vehicle.

Inhaling sharply she opened her eyes and looked around, the ambulance had stopped, the doors were open and she slowly sat up. Wearing nothing but the half gown she hopped out. "You owe me clothes and don't think you've won," she pointed in his face, beginning to walk towards the Impala parked next to them, all the while feeling eyes on her ass she grinned. Angel boy was checking her out.

Seeing what was going on Dean elbowed Castiel in the ribs and when the blue eyed man grunted the hunter glared at him like that was his fault too. There would have been a time he would be checking out that ass too, if it was a living chick and she wasn't a demon. "What the hell's gotten into you?" he demanded out of earshot of Meg and turned his head to read the angel's excuse. Cas picked a hell of a time to take the stick out of his ass.

"The pizza man," he replied without really thinking.

"The pizza-" Dean closed his mouth and shook his head. The world was literally falling down around them and the angel was thinking about porn. "Never mind."

He pulled the keys from his jacket pocket and unlocked the driver's side door with a flick of his wrist and climbed in to unlock the doors for the others. Bobby sat in shotgun and Meg and Cas were in the back with Sorcha who had hung back to guard the car from any would be jackers.

"It's like the start of a bad joke," Dean's gaze ticked to the rearview mirror at the angel and demon and he started to smile when Bobby looked at him and he stopped.

Clearing his throat and straightening his jaw he turned the ignition and shifted the Impala into reverse, pulling forward he drove back the way they came, through a winding path of rubble and cars. The city, to understate matters, was a mess. Plumes of black smoke signaling large fires spilled skyward and darkened the air, rescue crews would have to be called in from neighboring cities if they would be spared. Dean and Bobby only knew as much as they could see, Bobby had been searching through the radio stations for an update. All that came back was either the off air tone or static. That was never a good sign.

888

**May 7th, 2009  
>11:23PM<br>Night Before Full Moon**

Sam was shaking. He was naked in front of the fire that was crackling, his breathing was different. Sweat decorated his body. If anything it almost felt like he was waiting for the inevitable, like how it was back at that cabin and waiting for the infection to set in. Staring up at the ceiling of the cave he could hear his breathing mingling with the wood and fire popping. He had every reason before to be scared of the time coming but it was jump starting yet he wasn't shifting his body was preparing. Change. Sam swallowed and whimpered at the heat. Too hot. He was too hot and he began to turn over and crawl away from the flame. Once he was there he couldn't cool down. Nothing was working.

The energy in the air came from the upcoming moon, many hours away, no longer days and the energy from Astarte. Which didn't make sense, normally when he turned and Von was around he never felt that and now...he growled and shut his eyes tightly, chest rising and falling as if he was calming down from a run but he would never calm down, it would stay there and then eventually rise faster and faster and..."No," the sound was harsh and grating on his vocal chords, he turned on his side and his fist pounded hard into the earth as he let out a loud yell. Perfect blend of animal and human.

He opened his mouth and the air puffed up dirt, lingering in the area before settling on his sweaty heated skin. The closer he got to the moons the more it took a toll on him, he was just starting to get used to the fact that he could try and handle it without Von around and now that she...Astarte was here everything amplified, went back to the past, recycling and reworking, reconfiguring until it was what the design should and will be and he was being molded like clay. Hot too hot. The energy warped around him and he felt her hand on his skin. Eyes snapping open he stared at her as if pleading for this to end, for the before, for tomorrow when it would be during and the after. Make it all go away.

Sam had to accept the change like it was the first time and in many ways it would be. These modern lycanthropes fought with themselves and their natures, feared and loathed what they often described as their other half, the wolf, the monster. They forgot what it was to be such a perfect creature, to be one with humanity and nature, one with the Goddess. When God created man there were those that strayed, they took many directions and many paths away from their creator. Some of them found their way into Astarte's arms because they sought to be closer to nature, the things that God claimed to have created but had not. It was Astarte who gave them the ability to transform, to take other shapes that suited their natures and none was more fitting than the wolf.

But this gift did not come lightly, it killed the weak and even the strong were tested, for Astarte had no love for humans and their God. Testing them would prove their devotion to her and to nature to which she embodied every aspect, fierce and nurturing, great and small. There were very few that passed. In Sam she saw the potential to bring what in his eyes had been an unfortunate event and turn it into something wonderful. This was no curse, or plague or virus, this was a divine blessing.

"I love you," she said to him with green eyes smiling gently. She sat next to him naked, for she hardly bothered with keeping any article of clothing on her because she felt no shame like humans. Her hand brushed back his matted sweat soaked hair, "This has to happen. I'm here, I won't leave you." She hummed softly after to reassure him but not to ease the fever that was taking him. In time that would pass, Sam was strong enough, Astarte believed in him.

It helped what she did and said but when she said it had to happen he shook his head. "Why does this have to happen? No one should go through this!" he growled at her, snapping at her and he felt irritable. "Every damn month and now it has to change? Be different! I didn't ask for this!"

His eyes rolled amber but never fully changed, warring with his blue-green. Sam huffed and shot away, running to the exit of the cave and hitting a wall. Finding resistance. He had to leave, he had to go out there, find water and drown in the cold, too hot and he needed space. Suffocation from two magnets and he roared.

"STOP IT!" he turned around and collapsed to the ground, rolling onto his back, one leg up he tried to breathe slower. No going faster.

Astarte calmly walked over to him and if Sam wasn't in so much pain to notice he would have seen that she appeared upset, saddened. Of course his reaction was to be expected, he was in agony, no one ever thought they deserved to be in agony. Still, and when the sadness passed the anger took over and her energy exploded over Sam in a powerful wave of rage. Her stormy temper cooled with an exhale but not before Sam's heart was eaten with fear.

Kneeling next to him Astarte sighed, her hand a strikingly cool relief to his fevered flesh. "I know you have not asked for this, but you've received it all the same. Why do you think it such a punishment and a curse?"

"Let...me...out." Sam had to run, had to become one with the earth in some way. He had to climb a tree, roll in the grass, swim in the water, hunt, fuck, scream, sleep...too many things. The hunter hadn't missed Astarte acting out on him and he didn't like it. Sure she was mad but she wasn't going through it in his body. She didn't know. "I have to...I have to _do_things."

"I know," Astarte answered with a double meaning, "I know more than you can bear to stand," she added ominously. Sam was free to go if he so desired, free to climb a tree, swim in the water, hunt, fuck, scream, and many other things aside from the sweetness of sleep.

Astarte wanted to do things too, mostly to Sam at present. Tear at him with her teeth, bite and scratch, make him relive the terror of being eaten alive by a creature stronger than he could imagine. She thought of doing it in lycanthropic form, one Sam was familiar with, just to add to the poetry of it. She thought of forcing him inside of her, fucking him while he screamed. The thought made her loins burn and silver creep into her green orbs.

Staring at her he tried to think. She knew, how did she know? Sam closed his eyes and groaned. Heat radiated left, right, up and down and he brought his hands to his head, breathing into the palms, fingers pressing into the hairline. If he didn't know any better he could almost feel the wound burning and aching like it did when he was in the transition after being bitten. This was the first time he'd felt that since.

"Make it stop," the growl rolled in the back of his throat and out into his hands.

Astarte's lips parted revealing her fangs and she massaged the part of his neck where he had originally been bitten by Trevor. Poor, sweet and innocent Trevor, how she would have loved to play with him. Why would she want to make it stop? Surely she could if Von her human half could quell the pain then Astarte with all her might could have stopped it with the simple lifting of her pinky. That was not however how events would progress.

"It will in time, after you'll feel better than you ever have before," she promised and leaned down from where she sat on her legs to lick the sweat from his neck and collarbone. A low satisfied purr-like growl left her, teasing and violent, the first warnings of a storm.

He froze but his breathing continued, he sensed the danger with her mouth right there. Sam furrowed his brows but he didn't open his eyes, he couldn't he was back in the woods, silence and then he was pounced on, the wolf biting into the part where collarbone met neck and he wailed. It carried into real life and he felt the pain then felt it dragging him. Running away from others.

"No..." he shook his head, hands no longer covering his face, down at his sides, he wasn't sleeping he wasn't dreaming it was being forced on him from the energies mingling. "No..."

"Yes," Astarte sighed in ecstasy, seeing things from both Sam's point of view and Von's when it had happened.

It was new somehow, fresh. She wanted to feel his blood filling her mouth, knowing the first signs of change were reawakening in him from the first bite. Trevor's bite. She ran her hands up and down Sam's body, tracing through the beads of sweat that collected in the grooves and valleys of bone and muscle. He said he wanted to go, he had things to do but gripped with the paralysis of memory he couldn't do much at all. She knew he could feel it sinking in, an indescribable sensation of death and coming alive. That was the reaction to werewolf venom once it set in, excruciatingly painful as much as the bite.

The worst part was that in the memory he should have been unconscious after the dragging, somewhere in the dragging but he was awake, viewing as if he wasn't allow. The wolf was no where, he was bleeding out, no more followers no more footsteps. Sam writhed with pain, muscles tightening, grunts and huffs with the yells. "Help! Someone help me!" the words escaped in the image in his head, in real life he was panicking. Where was Von? Where was Dean? Where was Astarte? He was bleeding out, he was...then it appeared, the wolf looked different, female. He was more scared than he had ever been in.

_Not how you remember?_Astarte thought to herself and spread her hand over Sam's forehead. Her eyelids fluttered as he writhed underneath on the dirt floor, terror gripping him.

The she-wolf approached him on all fours, rising up on her haunches when she came close enough to lick him and lick him she did. Her warm tongue dipping deep into the scrappy punctured flesh, lapping up the blood for more to take it's place. Her large paw braced against his heaving chest, inch long claws pricking through his shirt, what remained of it and making it harder for him to draw breath. Rearing up she scented the air, ear flattening against her skull the reddish fur bristling along her neck as she growled low. The wolf stared down at Sam, dark amber orbs piercing into him. When she dropped back down she huffed in his face, sniffing, lower and lower until she had her face buried in his crotch and her left claws were tearing away his jeans.

Pain from the licking was bad and with the venom working inside the wound and the wolf doing what it was doing he bucked and wailed. "Leave me alone!" he said trying to get away, he had to find help, he was bitten, he had to find his brother, get healed and better.

The large she-wolf raised her head after imbedding Sam's scent in her nostrils. He was trying to crawl away, she stopped him from getting very far grabbing his leg and pulling him back. She growled in response to his blood-curdling scream when her dagger-like claws first shredded his calf and then sank into his thigh as she climbed on top of him and flipped him over none to gently. His leg was ruined, she crushed the femur under the weight of her hind leg pinning him with the muscles and ligaments that were still attached to the rest of his body.

Her jaws found their way around Sam's neck, a swift snap sounded through the trees, stifling his screaming. Sam's body went taught and then lax; the full weight of his body now resting in the snow as his lifeblood peacefully flowed out around him. Astarte raised her dark amber orbs to the Heavens and howled, her back arching over Sam's cooling form the stars painting her back with silver dappling. Lowering her head back down she tore off the rest of his clothes and began to take great mouthfuls of him, tearing and chewing, sparing no chunk of bone or scrap of flesh. Her long tongue lolled out smacking and licking at her bloody mouth and paws and she stood up body shimmering like a star in the dark, skin glowing, transforming until she was her human shape once again.

All that remained of Sam was his tattered clothes and a pool of blood against the dark snow. Astarte kneeled down and gathered up the blood in her hands, smoothing it over her white flesh until she was darkened completely by the crimson, her silver-blue mercurial orbs shining like Will O' Wisps in the shadows. Astarte rose from the dirt floor, hand resting on her flat stomach and she turned to look at Sam who was lying on his back with his blue-green orbs staring up at the ceiling of the cave lifeless and blank like perfect shards of glass. Gently she closed the lids over his eyes and with a melancholy sigh sat next to him to tend to his body.

_Soon my love, soon._

888

**May 12, 2009**

They made it out of San Francisco after five days of searching for a clean route that would fit the Impala through. Dean had to 'borrow' a bulldozer in order to clear a path down most of the streets, two of which had ultimately wound up being dead ends and forced them to turn back and try another way. Eventually through a series of frustrating trial and errors they were slowly leaving the downtown core, the extent of the earthquake's wrath awaited for them to discover. Bayshore freeway was mostly flooded but fairly passable for the first half. In Palo Alto they experienced more problems between the airport of Santa Clara county and the Moffet Federal Airfield.

"Fuck."

Dean climbed higher on the bulldozer to get a better bearing. The road and any definition that could pass for one was gone, the ocean had moved in on it and it was not calm settling of water. Dean's ears perked up to a cry for help coming further out, his eyes locked on a lone person perilously waving their arms atop a car that was bobbing up and down in the water. Waving to the person to let them know he had seen them he climbed down from the vehicle and met Bobby who emerged from the Impala. Dean pointed out the stranded person and Bobby nodded as Dean gave him his jacket.

"Don't get yerself drowned ya idjit, last thing we need is to be fishing you soppy body out of the water."

"Don't get my jacket wet," was all Dean said before he turned around and walked towards the new shoreline showing no hesitation except a small breath when the water hit him in the crotch. It was freezing.

Wading in deeper he pushed off with his foot and swam towards the car, less than halfway there having to fight the current that was pushing him off course. He was careful and didn't waste his energy in getting to the car, a brief lapse of annoyance crossed his features when the man refused to get in the water at first. So Dean had to climb onto the car and persuade him, which was not the first mistake Dean made within the hour. Grinning with a wicked leer the man's eyes flashed ink black and he pulled a knife out from behind him, lunging at Dean. The two men fell overboard into the water with a solid splash, Dean underneath the assailant with his hands fisted into his shoulders. Bobby saw it all but couldn't tell whether the knife had found it's way into Dean, he was too far away to see much more than the two fall into the water.

Two minutes. Neither one of them had surfaced. The plunge into the water shocked Dean but not nearly as much as the white-hot sharpness of a four-inch long knife in his gut. A rush of bubbles rose to the surface from his scream, his abs constricting against the foreign object. Blinded by pain and increasing lack of oxygen his attacks were ill aimed and weak, rage and fear moved him more than accuracy and skill. Another rush of bubbles, one hand on the knife and the other on the demon to stop him from making another attack. Blood flowed like spidery crimson ribbons through the water.

They were sinking.

Meg watched from the car, she knew the demon; apparently he didn't get the memo she was dealing with the enemy right now. That left her to rescue the hunter considering the angel didn't know what to do and the elder wasn't going to do anything. Removing her shirt, boots, socks and jeans she had taken from a store so she was in her bra and panties she wasn't bothered with hiding things as she wanted something dry to wear when she got back. Going to the edge and diving in she found them tussling in the water. With a flick of her hand as she rested beside them, she removed the blade from Dean's pants that had interesting markings on it. She knew what it was for.

A push into the demon's chest and he was sparking in the water. A quick jerk and the body left to float while Meg placed Dean's arm around her shoulders and swam upwards and in the direction of the Impala. Once up for air and one hard ground she stared at the knife. "Now I knew you were stupid but I didn't think you were _that_ stupid," she voiced.

Dean could only muster up a venomous glare as he gasped for much needed air, clutching the wound and trying not to shake from the shock that was setting in. The wound was grievously deep, blood seeped through Dean's fingers and a cough of water from his lungs spattered blood on his chin. It hurt like a bitch to even think.

Bobby rushed to his side, "I told ya not to drown, idjit," the words were tight with controlled emotion and he took Dean's hand away to quickly assess the wound before helping the younger hunter to apply pressure.

Dean sucked in a painful hiss and a moan, his hazel-green eyes getting glassy from the pain. "T-told y'nnn't jack't w-w-wet...wet," his lip trembled, face twisting into a mask of discomfort as a tight sharp sound left him and he moved like he could get away from the pain.

"Don't move, yer gonna be fine," Bobby insisted.

He hadn't been blind, Dean showed up with wounds and less than a days passing they were cleaned up and gone. He thought maybe it had been angels but this was before angels, something unnatural was going on with Dean and he wasn't telling anyone about it. If there was some way he was healing himself Bobby prayed that he would be able to heal the stab wound without dying first. Dean's eyes closed after a time of struggling to keep them open and his breathing evened out to near stopping, complexion pale and skin cool. He heard Bobby calling his name and even Cas was questioning but he did not answer, he wanted to sleep, just sleep.

Mere minutes later Dean jerked up with a gasp, eyes wide and bright. His hand flew to his wound and found that it was gone. Cas appeared unaffected by the event, Bobby was relieved and Dean couldn't read Meg's reaction but he could detect a trace of fear and curiosity in her eyes. Getting to his feet Dean spat out a glob of blood that had collected in his mouth and took a couple of steps towards his car when he turned and held out his hand to Meg. "You got somethin' of mine."

Raising her brows she stood up and tilted the hilt side to side thinking with puckered lips, she was very aware that she was half naked and that she was wearing soaking wet garments. With a stop two steps from him she stared at him. "You mean this? Since when did you get something so bad ass and all killing? Wait, it's stolen, someone had it before you. Now that freaky healing show you just pulled, I think it's safe to say this is mine. I earned it, I saved your life when I could have just let you drown and I pretty much stripped to do it. Since you took insurance on me, I'm taking insurance on you."

Meg smiled and walked around the hunter keeping out of reach as she moved to the car, undoing her bra with her back turned to the group she reached to her bag she had and pulled out a new one, next came her discarded shirt, and the panties she just let drop before doing another change. She placed the knife in the back of her pants and turned to them. Castiel trying not to look embarrassed and her expression was expectant.

"Are we going to go? Are you going to stand there with a grumpy horny look on your face? After all we have work to do," Meg said as she climbed into the backseat of the car.

888

**Back Roads of New Mexico  
>May 17th, 2009<br>4:00PM**

Near another week was gone and they had complete bubkus to show for it. Meg might have saved his life but Dean was losing his patience with her. Chugging back on the classic bottle of cola Dean stared out to the horizon where the sloping mountain met the sky, glaringly blue with thin wispy clouds that were more steam than anything solid. This Sunday afternoon was dry and hot, while Bobby toughed it out with his black logo tee and an over shirt, Dean had gone down to the minimum of a grey t-shirt and jeans with one of the knees blown out and his boots. Castiel appeared oblivious to the sun's scathing rays and Meg wasn't sweating the heat.

There had been no word from Astarte since she showed up in Cas's head and told them that Sam was safe. That didn't stop the feeling of dread that crept into Dean's gut and settled there to rot, the feeling he got every time something bad happened to Sam. "She's just using us as meat shields," Dean stated the obvious but needed to say it out loud anyway.

Bobby rolled his eyes, "How long did that take for you to figure out genius?" he asked rhetorically as he looked out from under his ball cap at Dean and then to Meg who was standing out in the middle of some sagebrush doing God knows what. It wasn't like anyone was going to see her, what with the all the wide-open space. What the hell did they even need her for anyway; no one was going to be able to find Astarte unless she wanted to be found.

Meg was staring out, she could hear her father talking to her without them knowing and she was informing him on the situation. He wasn't happy but the idea would get him Sam and that was the goal. She finished by closing stolen cell phone she picked off a person when going to the bathroom at a gas station and succeeded in smashing it along with the card. Leaving it in the sagebrush she headed back to the others and noticed how they were trying to pretend like they hadn't been talking. The topic wasn't hard to guess.

Castiel on the other hand was listening, trying to figure out if he could hear Anna. He needed answers, orders, what to do next with how he couldn't do so much right now. How could one like him be tethered to human transportation? Nothing was coming to him, there was no sign anywhere to tell them where Astarte could be, where Sam could be. "What do you suppose we do now?" he voiced, searching the skies before landing his attention to the three, Sorcha tacked onto that number rounding it to four.

Sorcha didn't trust the demon the moment she set eyes on her. Even rescuing Dean from the water couldn't endear the sulfur sucking scum to her, she had wanted to rip off Meg's hands for touching him. "What were you doing out there?" Dean nudged his head to the field and landed his suspicious green orbs on Meg, completely ignoring Cas for the time being. Bobby waited for the answer as well, keenly interested in what the demon had to say, excuse or truth. It sure as shit wasn't communing with nature or pissing on a bush that's for damn sure.

"Making sure that no other surprises with demons lay before us. They know you're off limits. At least the ones that are contracted to me. What? You thought I was planning something devious?" Meg asked, she wasn't lying but she wasn't telling the whole truth either, she did ask to make sure that no demons that were hanging around her which were usually ones under Lucifer would intervene. "I'm telling the truth and I believe angel boy asked you a question Dean."

Shooting her a glare threatening to tear her limb from limb Dean answered the angel, "you're guess is as good as ours Cas, we're going by the seat of our pants here"

888

**May 21st, 2009  
>The Croaking Chickadee Motel<br>Enid, Oklahoma**  
><strong>2:52AM<strong>

Dean's body jerked awake and he rose gasping and clutching the sheets, staring into the black at his feet because he did not want to close his eyes. Sorcha shifted at the foot of his bed and was now staring at him, a dark shadow among the shadows in the room. Reaching out to touch her for reassurance he found his body covered in sheen of cold sweat, chilling him in the air conditioned room.

Another set of eyes was on him and he glared in that direction while not being able to see, there was only a small sliver of pale street light coming in through the thick drapes and that was in the corner of the room by the door away from everything else. Climbing out of the bed he headed to the bathroom. "What the hell are you lookin' at?" he grumbled at Meg who he could tell was smiling. The question wasn't meant to be answered and he closed the door to the bathroom to deal with his business.

888

**May 27th, 2009**

Where the hell were they even going? They had no destination, might as well just call it an excuse to waste gas, money and time. Meg kept making promises and it was sounding more and more like the tune that Ruby sang to back when she was puppeteering a corpse. It was a song Dean had heard enough of to last his lifetime. Over the last few days, nightmares had woken him up each night to panicked breaths and sweat soaked sheets. Alcohol was starting to lose its precious effect of knocking him clean out in order to sleep in the first place, so he took to drinking more during the day. Bobby wouldn't let him drive on the days that ended with a 'Y'.

He was sleeping it off in the back of the Impala with Sorcha sitting next to him, keeping an eye on Meg who was next to her as well was watching out the front where Bobby and Castiel were sitting. She would try to stop Dean from drinking by hiding the bottles around the motel rooms but he always knew where to find them like he had booze radar. This whole ordeal was difficult on at least four of the occupants of the car; Sorcha appeared to be the only one that thought that Astarte's return was a good thing even if she was saddened that she had taken Sam. She did not want Dean to be sad, but she could see there was more weighing on Dean than the heavy burden of his missing brother.

Meg knew that Dean was getting fed up. But in all honesty they did need her. Sure there was no chance in finding Sam without hitting into Astarte, but at least the search wasn't busy with Lucifer or other demons. They should be grateful even though they didn't know she was working with the Devil to fulfill that goal as well as Dean's. While Castiel, Bobby, Dean and Sorcha had been sleeping since she had been with them she couldn't sleep but didn't mean that she wasn't still on watch. So what happened was she stayed up and pretty much held observation of the Winchester. His dreams was causing him to have trouble and she didn't know why exactly but she had a feeling that he was sensing as well as other demons that she kept contact with over phone or different methods of calling in a bowl...something was going to happen. Soon. It was building and Meg had no doubt that anybody with anything was picking up on it.

**A/N:**** Now before you freak out, Sam will be back. Lol. Thanks for reading and please review! :)**

**-Wynter and Tori**


	9. Chapter 9

**Note: Hey, sorry haven't been updating lately. We've kind of hit a run where we are taking a break from writing this right now but will get back, so updates will be coming slower. As well as the fact that Tori is going through some family stuff, helping her mom with figuring out moving, cleaning and organizing her house for her mom divorcing her dad. Thanks for reading and hopefully things will slow down in life and pick back up for other things. Enjoy!**

**-Wynter and Tori**

**Warning: FULL story Rated M for language, sex and violence. We are not held accountable by your choice to read this, we've warned you plenty of times lol.  
><strong>

**May 29, 2009**

She had fought against him, since she let everything go, what was there to lose? Nothing. Alex did everything in her power to push against him, break free and yeah it only got her caught and thrown back in. Not without giving Alistair wounds in the process and destroying any demon in her way. Now here she was back on the table she was being tortured on, Alistair had his back turned to her and she was staring at the knife stuck in her throat she had been choking on. Alex fluttered her eyes at the feeling of nausea come to her, things around her were blurring and she blinked furiously, turning her head to the side to look at Alistair as he met her orbs.

"Wh-"

A scream left her despite the knife in her throat, blood coming up to coat her lips, coughing and her hands yearned to go to her chest. Her heart was hurting, burning and aching as if someone was pounding into it, enlarging it against the ribcage and constricting it. Something was calling to her, far, far away. Her chest rose like it was jerked up by a puppet string. Alex stared up at the inferno and stalactites and there was no change anywhere else. Another pounding and she fought for air, her lungs beginning to feel a sting of pressure and almost as if she hadn't used them for a very long time, that lingering pain. Heaviness soon filled the void, closing her eyes she felt pain.

It was in her abdomen, in her lungs, her arms and legs…everywhere. Throat convulsing she opened her eyes and tried lifting her hands, no straps, no restraints just concrete. Concrete? That wasn't in Hell. She put effort into pushing it up and away, succeeding after a time she sat up, her hand resting behind her as she tried to stand. Wreckage, she was lying down in the wreckage of what looked like a building with vines and other forms of nature taking home there. Starry sky, barely a thumbnail of a moon there and the night was bordering on warm. Summer. Glancing down at her body Alex found blood staining her shirt with a nice hole in there, she remembered that...fingers going in and separating the material, even her bra she found the wound that had tried to close over. Grotesque.

One arm landed at her side while the other had run her fingers through her hair. She was alive…how? How was she alive again? Hands brushing off dust and dirt she groaned at the bruises that hadn't healed and stumbled over the rest of the wreckage finding another hole dug out as well. Von had died too in this same place, was she still here or was that empty spot a signal that she had left too? When did she leave? Correction, when did Astarte…or Von…whatever her name was now leave? How did she get out of Hell?

Alex continued moving, looking down and watching her step as she winced, her arm wrapped around her torso feeling new blood begin to coat her hand but she wasn't dying, another strange factor. Running into the end of the wreckage she was on fresh grass and soil, hearing a voice call to her she brought her attention up to see a man watching her with brown-blond hair and soulful eyes. Something unnatural about him and powerful. Was he the one that raised her?

"Glad to see my right hand man…excuse me…woman is alive. Nice to finally meet you Alex," he spoke.

She was confused. Who was this man? Going to speak, her voice grated on a sandpaper throat from lack of use and water, croaking out forced breaths and words. "What do you mean?"

Tilting his head to the side he moved closer to her, seeing her about to take a step back and finding she couldn't without being in pain, he reached her and placed his hand on her shoulder. "The only person who has the power to bring someone like you back to the living. I think you know."

The man realized how it must look, before she could react or think about forcing her body to function when it was well past bad mechanics she was healed. Everywhere, the only sign that said she could have ever been hurt was the grunge on her skin and clothes. Alex stood straighter and removed her hand from her stomach; she brought her blue eyes up to the man's. "Lucifer?" He answered her with a nod. "Well what can I say? Thanks but why?"

"That science project of yours in Hell, he was attempting at training you. You are my right hand of course, the Anti-Christ. Now there are two out there somewhere, but they are hardly to your level of expertise and one is only just a kid still. Merely accidents that was made after you were thought truly dead in Hell years ago. Needed a back-up plan you see? Now both are deemed useless and I have ordered them dead. Now you…I brought you back because it is your time to serve along my side."

Alex laughed at that, taking his hand off her shoulder and walking around him to talk this time. "Serve? I'm nobody's bitch, slave or in any way servant Luci, mind if I call you that? Anyways, thanks again for bringing me back but it's a false result for you. I'm my own boss and I do whatever the fuck I want. Especially now, so maybe you should have kept the kid and the other alive, much more useful to you than you probably could have realized."

Turning around and walking away from him, Lucifer wasn't done with Alex. She wanted to be rebellious against him then he'd let her have her time to get it out of her system, but she would serve as his right hand, his main weapon because that was what she was meant for. That was what she was born and created for. When the female checked over her shoulder and found him gone she smirked. Coming out into the open road she had to remember how she got there in the first place and which direction would lead to the closest town. About to guess and start heading left she heard a car radio coming closer, turning to the direction it was coming from, watching it slow down and stop next to her she stared at the 18 year old male teenager.

He was looking her up and down assessing that she was dirty and bloody, but then came the look in his orbs that said he knew underneath it all she was smoking hot. Alex smiled at him, knowing what he was going to ask and what he hoped to get out of it. "Need a lift?"

"Would love one."

888

**Chicago, Illinois  
>June 6th, 2009<br>11:56 PM**

Alex knelt slightly as she stared into the cage the woman was frantic and definitely human. She wasn't the fighting type; she was the innocent kind with no real blood shed by her own hands and seen either type. The collar hung around her neck as a chain and she searched Alex's blue orbs for mercy. "Listen up girly because I'm only going to say this once. If you want your freedom…kill the other woman."

"I can't, I won't."

"You don't have a choice here, it's either kill or be killed. Freedom or not. So if you refuse then say goodbye to your life. The more you get the crowd riled the better."

Grabbing the woman's chin she brought her closer and she grinned coyly, brushing her hair from her face. Clean face. She would be dirty and bloody when this was over. Bringing her mouth to the woman's she forced an open mouth kiss and separated, pushing her back and standing. Walking away in her fishnet leotard, black bra, torn black jeans, combat boots and her black jacket. Swinging her hips this way and that as she headed towards the crowd of men waiting for their entertainment. Reaching them she smiled, hands out to her side in a gesture of welcome.

"Gents. May I present to you what you will be betting on? Today we have Brunette vs. Blondie. Sorority leader and lovely church virgin…the money goes to Vince over there with the Mohawk and nipple piercing. Enjoy tonight's pleasantries and remember…there are no rules here."

Alex moved away from them and towards the seating area on the viewing stage for select people chosen by her. She had started this place 6 days ago and it was already hitting off with the public...whether it is true underground goers or even curious kittens and puppies exposed to dangerous delights. The moment she was out of Hell she could have gone straight to finding Sam and Dean but decided not to. She wanted to have her fun and the sex was apart of that, that 18 year old that picked her up was just a notch in her belt.

As she got to her chair she motioned for the cats to be pulled out to the middle and the men created a circle to keep them in. Chains and collars being removed, the main goal was already told to all the women that were in their holdings. A simple nod and the show began, the men cheering, betting on which one, as they stood there unsure of what to do next. The brunette was the one that stepped up first and pulled out a punch to the blond that Alex had just spoken to. She grinned, it'd get good as soon as she chose to stop living by her morals and stick to instinct to live and get out of the place. It was human nature. It was animal nature.

Her eyes watching the show as she heard a latecomer be let in, attention was brought there to she stick on him immediately. Analyzing him, trying to see if he was worth her time…she grinned slowly, crossing her legs and her hands tracing her abs over the fishnet. Perfect. Here she thought she might not get so lucky at her own establishment but now that she was, she'd see him after the show was done. Alex flicked her eyes to the two women when she heard a noise of excitement from half the men and found the very blond she hoped for, landing a good punch combined with a tackle to the brunette.

Punch after punch with kicks and tearing at hair her eyes glittered with delight. Alex loved that she was corrupting the two women who never in their life decided violence was the way to go on things. Well…physical violence. Bouncing her leg up and down slightly she removed her coat and let it rest beside her. The blond was not going to die, she had decided that decision not long ago when she realized that if she didn't do anything the woman who had spoken to her was right…she would die and she couldn't afford that. She needed to get back to her family and away from these people so then she could report them to the police.

A hand on her throat proved hard causing her hands to strike out, nails diving into the brunette's eyes. The scream encouraged the digging. Continuing before she removed and landed a punch, she could be disgusted later. The more the guys cheered and bet, leaning in and yelling at them, she looked around with uncertainty and fright before landing on the woman sitting away from them just observing. She knew what she had to do and she had to finish this to get her freedom. Turning back to the fallen brunette who was crying on the floor, she went to her and kicked in random places, some falling onto the skull and when she was past dead she couldn't stop until clapping sounded.

Alex jumped gracefully off the stage and walked over to the winner. "I knew it'd be you who'd win. I guess you just needed the incentive," Alex winked, biting her bottom lip to signify the kiss, laughing when she shuddered in response. "Well, who was the highest bidder Vince?"

Vince counted the money he had placed into piles on the table off to the side with names and his smile widened as he brought up a stack of bills with the title. "One Mr. Margrave."

The man who belonged to the name stepped up and eyed the blond eagerly, sure she wasn't the one he was rooting for but he had placed down the most money and that ensured him the one who won the prize. "I'm going to fuck your virgin cunt till you scream," he said with his heavy Russian accent, the tone of his voice coated the words like hard liquor.

"What? But you said that I would be free!" the blond said to Alex, worry setting on her features as she didn't want the man to step closer or lay a hand on her. She was saving herself for the right man and she wasn't about to get that taken away.

"It's called asking to read the fine print Blondie. You are _free_. Just from the fights, as for anything else, you are still ours. You'll be free to go once you are good and broken," Alex replied with a laugh, the men doing the same as she motioned for one of the men hidden in the shadows of the shipping warehouse that was made into their little fight club and actual night club.

Music came on as people entered in groups, one after the other, heavy bass and lights flashing, support beams lighting up with chains wrapped around them for an area of color and another area where chains closed sections to the side and middle of the room for sexual watching. It was her private haven and everyone's public sin as the women that were in the cages and any visitors were subject to rape. Nothing was willing even if they started to enjoy some of it they were always bleeding, bruised and screaming. Walking through the now dancing bodies she looked to find the man she had targeted as primary victim. Her hips moving to the heavy beat she danced her way through and against as many as she could, ending up by the support beams she leaned against one part of it that wasn't glowing blue and she tilted her head up, mouth open, eyes blue and black, swaying back and forth, sliding up and down the very beam.

Inhaling she brought her head down and to the side finding the very man she was looking for. Grinning, her hands moved along her '_clothes_', her eyes reverted back to normal. She was glad. The party could really, truly, start and her plans would grow exponentially. Curling her hand to direct him over, he slowly moved over, eyes watching her and she came up to him the rest of the way. Hand running up his chest and behind his neck, crashing her lips to his with all the fire inside her. Body pressed to his, hand underneath his shirt and nails not teasing as they scraped down his Abs and Pecs to his navel. Pulling back she stared into his eyes with his bottom lip between her teeth. Releasing it she licked her own.

"I'm Alex. Owner and founder…you're new to this aren't you?" she asked, breathing into his ear as the music had slowed before its inevitable pick up.

"Zane…and that easy to tell?" he answered, his surprise on his face at her forwardness but seeing the events around him while he had been there before meeting Alex he wasn't all too surprised. He'd been to some things before that were close to this, but this was pretty out there even for him. New and he actually liked it.

"Oh you have no idea." Alex brought her lips back to his and pulled him back towards the beam.

He took control to pin her there, hands playing over her curves as the fishnet leotard split in the sides to allow leisure. This woman was probably the hottest he'd ever scored at one of these places. Groaning into her forcefulness, he added his own and jerked when she bit his tongue drawing some blood and taking it eagerly. It was a different experience but he went with it. When she pushed him back, removing his shirt and tossing it somewhere on the huge dance floor they ran into one of the chained areas where someone was getting raped. He broke the kiss to stare at the blond that had been in the fight earlier and won. A new fire was inside him and he normally would have cared in some minuscule portion about her, but now he wasn't all that concerned as she screamed and her breasts bounced from the impact of the rapist.

Alex took him by the belt and tugged him towards the stage where she had been previously, pushing him onto the couch where her jacket was. She climbed on top of him once her jeans were off; no panties underneath, the leotard was cut just slightly giving enough room for other reasons. "Have you ever fucked in public Zane?"

Shaking his head no he was excited and scared by the prospect of people possibly watching. When she grinned at him with the way she looked in her outfit and boots, she looked amazingly tasty. As she went down his body, her nails slicing into his skin barely leaving some tears in the skin with tiny droplets of pebbled blood he gasped and hissed, moaning shortly after when he felt his belt being undone. His jeans followed suit and pulled down roughly with his boxers. There he was, in front of God and everybody but he didn't seem to care anymore when her mouth wrapped over the head of him and went down, tongue working with her eyes staring up at him.

"Fuck yes. You like that you fucking slut?"

A hum from the beautiful brunette had him bucking into her mouth and his hands forcing her head down to deep throat him. She did just that causing him to groan. A very small crowd had gathered at the edge of the stage to watch the show that was being given. Alex scraped her teeth on his dick in her mouth before adding more pressure to make him scream out in pain. She slid back up then bobbed back down before releasing him with a pop. "Do you not like it rough Zane?" she asked, jerking him off hard in a tight grip, enough to make him wince and his hands trying to go to hers to stop or even lessen.

"Not really. No."

"Then why come into my club?" A sharp twist and he winced. Alex slid more on top and directed him inside her before slamming down on him making his head go back. He was freaked out and he knew that he needed this to end but also the release.

"I don't know, I just thought it was a place to have fun. Nothing too extreme!"

"And you didn't think that rape was extreme? I saw that you enjoyed that blond getting plugged like a fucking piece of meat. Tasty, raw and fresh, now deflowered for being in the wrong place at the right time. This is what fun is here. Those who are new soon learn that."

"No! Get off me! I'm leaving!" Zane shouted, yelling for help. When he felt her continue to go up and down on him more with the sensation that he couldn't move his hands or his body he was worried. "I can't move!"

Her eyes change black and blue a wide smile decorating her face, leaning in as she rode him, her hand tracing his body before he started to feel something digging into his chest. It was painful and he screamed looking down to find her nails the reason and her fingers plunging past the skin layer and deeper. Blood seeping out in a puddle as he cried and screamed, regretting he ever entered. Why weren't the people helping? Did they think this was fake or some sick and twisted game? What was going on in this place?

Alex bent her head down to have her tongue lap at the lovely pool of red before she jerked her hand away bringing flesh and charring his ribs, right through to his heart in the process. He struggled for breath as she came moaning and pressing her frame to his to coat her body with his life fluids as he blinked frantic as the light slowly died. She kissed his lips hungrily before separating at the moment of his death. Sitting up, Vince helped her up and off, his hands over her and the other substance now on her.

"Did you really have to do that?" Vince asked.

The brunette female looked at him with serious and heated eyes. "Yes and now you know what comes next."

He nodded as he left her side and went to the other members that overlooked the place in the shadows…her little slaves. What she created would need to be destroyed. Already she had stayed in one place for too long but it was fun to enjoy the company and entertainment. The innocence lost and the taste of so much sadistic fun. Inhaling she grabbed her pants and slid them on, turning her attention to the dead body that was on top of her jacket she splayed her fingers, tightening them and a burst of flame enveloped the entire couch. The doors would be locked and no one but her would be able to get out in the end.

Alex took in every body dancing and doing other acts of indecency. The knowledge that this was the first dent in her return to Earth, a test and a little game made her happy and at home. Eyes burning…swimming, every human began to fall to the ground, screaming as fire ate at them, as blood seeped from pores and began to crumble away into ash before their eyes so they could witness their own death. Feel everything and know that there was no coming back from this that inevitably they were going to the Hell she was brought back from.

_'You, you look so precious,__  
><em>_A diamond in the rough,__  
><em>_And when you try to escape,__  
><em>_We'll be holding on.__  
><em>_But I can't sleep until this is done,__  
><em>_They're in my head,__  
><em>_They're in my soul.__  
><em>_Come on down to the other side,__  
><em>_Come with us through the gates of Hell,__  
><em>_We will drag you from where you are to where you belong…'_

888

Astarte rested her hand on her aching belly, rubbing in slow soothing circles and humming like she was singing to an infant. The cramping had started on Friday the fourth and it was only a matter of days now, and with each day she felt him growing and her strength waning. A small gasp left her as she stood from her resting spot under the tree, feeling her insides moving around with life not her own. A small lapse of dizziness came over her when she arrived at the cave and she bowed down to all fours, crawling towards Sam's body that was laying on the soft nest of leaves and branches she had made for him.

When the dizziness passed she sorted the bedding out to her liking then kissed Sam on the forehead tenderly before sitting next to him and staring straight ahead, her eyes reflecting back the light that was entering the cave like two mirrors. Trance-like she stared feeling the rush of travel she found herself standing in a mirky motel room to see one man sleeping in the bed. The others must have been out but they left Sorcha behind to protect him, or to keep him from leaving. She was aware of how troubled he had been of late. Even Astarte could only do so much in astral projection and when she felt a strong kick in her gut her image flickered.

Sorcha could see but was not alarmed, overcome with a strange sense of calm and happiness at seeing the red head she watched with blue eyes as the image moved onto the bed Dean was sleeping on. His nightmares were making him feverish and she placed a hand on his back to calm him, his breathing softened and his body relaxed. Astarte gasped; tugged back into her place in the cave she fell onto her back, hands on her stomach feeling fingers, nails, and claws pressing against her. Reaching for the outside. Soon she would be too weak to leave the cave on her own and it would take all her efforts to regain her strength quickly.

888

**June 7, 2009  
>Burlington, Kansas<br>23 minutes till Full Moon Rises  
>5:47PM<strong>

Bobby entered the motel they were staying in with Meg and Castiel behind him, they had gone out to get some food and check out the area with Meg's help since she had abilities where Castiel lacked. He had chanced by a newspaper with an interesting article that caught his sights. Upon entering he knew that Dean was no longer sleeping and so he turned on the lights and tossed the paper to him while he unloaded food at the table. "Think I found a hunt. Whether it's a lead to Astarte, Lucifer actin' up or some other demon...pretty gruesome."

"He thinks it's worth checking into because a lot of people died. Come on fires start all the time!" Meg said.

She had an idea of who it was and if she was right like she thought then she wasn't going. That was a trail that she wasn't meant to follow. Main agenda, Sam Winchester. Castiel had to agree that fires did happen by accident but he sided with the elder on this one. Something wasn't right about it and though he couldn't pinpoint it didn't make sense.

888

Leon had escaped Hell, no one would know how he did, it was a little trick he had pulled from his sleeves. Finding a temporary body to contact a good friend already trying to live a normal life being a demon. She worked at the motel that his target was staying at, maid service. What a boring way to live life in a meat suit. The plan was simple, Astarte was getting weaker from what she had done to Sam, the moon was coming to the full and yet it could trigger Sam's furriness any time without warning. Connections to Dean would be down and he'd be free to do whatever. If he was going to succeed he needed to act now. Astarte was weak enough that she was already losing ability to do things, trying but wires were being cut.

Removing himself from his temp, he waited. His technique would be unnoticed and flawless. No one would see him coming, not even Dean himself. The maid looked in the area he was waiting, invisible to the eye as he wasn't an ordinary demon and was good at illusion he could afford to hide the black sand that demons tended to be before possession. With a knock on the door she looked scared, these were hunters they had wards to stop against demons but from what Leon had told her about Meg being with them and they had just got back they didn't replace the salt lines just yet. The hidden blade in the towels she waited.

888

The moon called. Sam didn't know where he was, but he had learned a lot, it was warm and wet where he was. He pushed, kicked, tested barriers and could feel something pressing back lightly at him. A growl left him and he felt contractions like it was caving in on him. Wherever he was, it was time to come out. He had fed on the energy around him for a long time it seemed and the moon was beckoning. Claws protruded and he sharply sank them into the wet warmth, scraping in every direction to dig a way out. Cramped, he was ready and it was time.

Meanwhile in the real world his body twitched, no breathing was coming from to signal he was alive but he moved like a body with strings attached, acting out the same things he was in the dream. In the stomach. Gone for so long. Sam pushed limits and threw his entire being into it, teeth, claws, legs, tearing at everything and not leaving anything to chance until he saw light, eyes blinking like a newborn he frantically tried, the moon was beginning to rise he could feel it. His bones broke and shifted while he never stopped his journey out. Into the world, feeling touch of nature and the moon, growing inside and finally he was out, sweaty, and he looked down at Astarte beneath him through animal orbs, fur decorating his body, he was different, rejuvenated. Realizing that he had hurt his mate he howled in pain and happiness. This was necessary. Lowering his head, his long tongue rolled out and began to clean away the fluids coming from her body. Now it was time to take care of her.

_Reborn._

Astarte screamed as Sam tore his way through her, in his dream state it was as gruesome as a transforming werewolf ripping out of a woman sounded. Her physical body could not withstand it and in the real world she lay quivering, covered with all the fluids that had ruptured over her in Sam's dream. Blood, sweat and other savory fluids while her body was somehow still intact from the body splitting ordeal. A faint smile appeared on her lips and she reached up with a shaky hand to run her fingers through the fur on his shoulder before letting the limb fall back down to the ground. Her eyes fluttered, mercury glimmering behind thick lashes and she hissed at Sam, fingers curling like claws but unable to lift and push him away from his ministrations.

Sam growled back when she hissed, he was helping her and yes it hurt but she needed learn that pain came with helping at times. After all if it weren't for her he wouldn't have known that. Continuing to clean away the blood and fluids despite the wounds, he finished up and grabbed the t-shirt and button up with his teeth, bringing them over and beginning to situate them over her like a blanket close to the fire. She was weak and hurt. Though warmth wasn't something she would need entirely, it would help. Curling up beside her he'd stay until she fell asleep so then he could go hunting for food and water once he was back in human form.

Astarte's eyes lingered open as frail silver slits, she was clean and warm but she could not sleep. Her eyes drifted closed, meshing thick eyelashes together, fluttering before opening again. She felt exhaustion roll over in calming waves, Sam's presence was of comfort as well, lulling her into a sense of peace. There had been a great risk taken, performing what she had. Now she was gravely weakened and all she desired was rest. But she could not sleep.

888

Once the door opened she smiled kindly at Dean Winchester. Before he could react the hand slipped out with the blade, striking out at the spot where the anti-possession tattoo lay under his chest, she had to be told where it was. Once it was cut to break it, Leon made his move he had a few seconds before it would heal up, he damned the hunter for leaving Hell with that ability and finally he was in. Nestled into his little private section just as it closed him inside. Smiling his plan was in motion, it was perfect and the other demon had sacrificed herself for the greater him. Leon had one thing left to do before he would take control entirely, learn Dean, mannerisms and let him lead him to Alex. Because he was not done with her no matter what Lucifer ordered.

"What is with demons and fucking stabbing me?"

Dean ripped Von's knife from where he had buried it in the demon's head and took a step back with his free hand pressed against the wound while it healed. His blood blossomed out around his hand, another tear, another stain, another shirt ruined. Trudging to the bathroom muttering expletives Dean pulled off the shirt and inspected the quickly healing flesh, the tattoo was as good as new which made Dean breathe a sigh of relief. Emerging from the bathroom after he washed off the blood he went to his duffle and grabbed another shirt, picking up the newspaper after he pulled on the black garment and scanned the article.

Shaking his head he let the paper drop back down, "Doesn't sound like Astarte's M.O." But Heaven forbid he ignore a case for something else, besides the work might do him good. "We should still look into it."

"We?" Meg asked.

She stared at him when he looked at her and her eyes trailed to the tattoo before he put the new shirt on. It took an idiot not to notice that he was wearing something against her kind, but it also took an idiot of her kind not to notice the fact that the tattoo was attacked for a reason. To the hunters it would be just another attack and nothing necessarily new, they'd think it was her like the car and water event and it wasn't. This was new. Right now Meg didn't trust Dean, she didn't feel good around him, there was something off about him that made her skin itch and fear crawl in.

Meg stepped back and shook her head to shake it off, running her hand down her arm as if to get the sensations off. "No. Not we Dean. Whatever or whoever did _that_," she pointed at the newspaper, "is a trail I do not want to follow."

_And right now I don't want to follow you._

Castiel looked at her then. The light in her eyes of fear made a small twinge inside him jump. Want to protect her and he didn't know why. What was worth not going to that place? "Maybe ya should go, might be better to split up anyways. Cover more ground," Bobby voiced. "Meg can stay with us. She'll still be good with Astarte avoidin' all of us." Bobby gave Meg a silent message that said he would get a better eye on her if she was with them. And since she wasn't wanting to go to Chicago, leave Dean to his own devices. He was getting reckless and Bobby had to admit he was worrying if it was going to drag them down with the boy.

"Sounds good to me."

Leon was listening all the while inside, so he would be alone with the rugged hunter. It made joy rise inside him to know that Meg didn't want to be around him, even though she didn't know entirely. Also the fact that he was riding Dean from the inside and he would never know till it was too late was a thing to make him giddy. There was an urge to go alone, to go to Chicago, it would be freedom from watchful eyes with nightmares that Leon could tell was wracking Dean's body for nights now and he could get away with so much instead of being ordered like a child around Bobby. So many possibilities and Leon wanted to know what Dean would do, after all this was a learning experience, would he stay or go? Would he argue or accept?

Dean's eyes ticked from Bobby to Meg, his suspicions were rising. Why were they trying to get rid of him? Meg was scared by whatever was causing the fires and Bobby seemed to be following in line with wherever Meg went he did not want to be far away. Cas was angling for some pussy, not that he really knew how or where to find it so he would be sticking with Meg, which left Dean alone save for Sorcha who would follow him anywhere. He was searching their faces for reasons other than the obvious, there were none.

"You're kidding right, Hell's busting it's guts everywhere and you wanna split up?" the incredulity in his voice had his tone bordering close to rage.

Shaking his head, he just couldn't take this right now, not with everything, he was going to have a goddamn break down and by all rights he wanted to argue with them tooth and nail. Dean couldn't believe Bobby for not even trying to persuade Meg to suck it up and go with them to investigate, he was thinking the old man had gotten himself possessed. Which was ridiculous to think because Bobby would never mess up like that, not in a million years. But still the thought was there and he voiced as much.

"Did some demon blow its smoke up your ass?" He only backed down a notch when Bobby glared at him.

"You wanna test it out boy?" Bobby tossed him a flask of holy water. "Go right ahead."

Clenching his jaw Dean unscrewed the cap and tossed the liquid at Bobby, Meg stepping clear of the droplets least they singe her skin. The holy water had no affect on Bobby, with the exception of the possibility of it being a higher level demon Dean's fears were unfounded. However, it did not change his mind about going, not after Bobby dangled it in his face in the first place. Dean wanted to find Sam and badly but there was something about this case that he couldn't shake. He had to go there and figure out what it was, besides he was getting tired of this Scooby Gang shit anyway.

Grabbing his duffle he began to pack, ignoring the three of them until he hauled his bags onto his shoulder, "If you wanna stay here and hide," he shot a glare at Meg, "fine, but I'm gonna do my job." Exiting the motel room he descended the outside steps and opened the trunk to the Impala, tossing his bags inside and slamming down the trunk. Climbing into the driver's side he turned the engine over and drove out of the parking lot without him looking back.


	10. Chapter 10

**Warning: FULL story Rated M for language, sex and violence.**

**June 8, 2009  
>St. Louis, Missouri<br>9:17AM**

After her club fiasco and demolition Alex had pretty much moved on. By moved on it meant new town and currently she was sitting next to the sleeping forms of a male and female. Both of them not knowing each other making it all the better, with the same sexual appetite they didn't care in a threesome adventure. Watching the rise and fall of their naked chests move sickened her. They looked incredible together.

_How can two people be that way in just looks? Well the sex too but…human. Too human. Nasty. Why did I choose them?_

Alex rolled her eyes and climbed off the bed. Putting on her black and blue dress, she smiled zipping it up the side. It matched her eyes. Not going for the black 6 inch heels just yet she moved to their items, going through their phones to see contacts, addresses, emails and she even considered a few before short circuiting and melting them. Falling to the floor the sound woke up the two lovebirds on the mattress. That was when she gathered her heels and slipped them on slowly.

Observing as they turned, stretched, muscles moving, body parts brushing and a brief happy groan with kiss before both sets of orbs landed on her. "How adorable…I should be a matchmaker." A pause. Walking coyly to the bed to sit down and cup their chins with her hands. "I had a fine time, could have been better if you hadn't ruined this horrible naughty thing. And here I would have let you live. But you made me realize that I can't just leave without a body for leftovers."

_Leaving one alive will allow Dean to question them or a random hunter tailing me and find out who did this heinous crime. The problem, I would have to wipe certain details, leaving only the fact that I was a female. Who knows might let them know everything…make it more interesting._

The fear in their eyes told her everything. What did they walk into? "Eenie, meanie, miney…"A stop on the man and she smiled wider. "Mo. You'll only be damaged, just enough for questioning and long-term hospital stay for them to catch up."

A female scream ripped into the motel room, no doubt signaling to other guests, maids and the manager that it was time to call the cops. She'd be long gone by the time they showed up to check to see if things were okay. Alex wiped her hands off in the bathroom and burned off any fingerprints she left behind and leftover blood she didn't want staining. Exiting out the back window and heading to her old Cadillac she borrowed from Vince at her deceased club, it was time to leave.

888

**Mehlville, Missouri  
>12:57PM<strong>

Driving out of town it was a question plaguing her. Her stuff. It was probably at Bobby's and the Cadillac was not cutting it. What would happen if she snuck it away? They'd notice. Temptation was there to do it and see their reactions; after all it meant a good load to her so see it on their precious faces. Clothing she was good on, easy to get, but she missed her car and weapons. She wasn't stupid and so she was going to avoid at all costs.

Sure she was leaving a trail. Seeing how long it took them…Dean. Then again he wouldn't find her until she decided she would stay after an event and pop up where he'd show up. Only then would she get to see the priceless expression. And in the meantime she was heading to Cape Girardeau in Missouri. Heading South seemed to be the smart move, stay away currently from the west and north. And it bothered her slightly to know she could found at any time by Lucifer, that was why before officially leaving this current town she was going to get a nice tattoo to prevent her from being tracked.

A guy she had heard of from a soul in Hell who got it done and when his time came due no one could find him. Not even the Hell Hounds. Which made everyone curious as to how they got him in the end with it. Slip up with a receipt payment when he had no cash to pay for what he needed. Alex was interested in the ink, if demons, hunters or angels were looking for the one causing all the chaos she didn't to be found so it was precaution and definitely a security feature from the big guy and her parents.

Pulling into the lot the off road tattoo place, not too professional and not entirely run down but riding pretty close…She moved through the main door and noticed how empty it was. Must not be popular with locals. A couple turns to take in the entire establishment she couldn't seem to find a manager until he popped up from behind the counter. Alex stared at him not expecting how he'd look, considering she couldn't pinpoint why he looked familiar to her in some way. Blinking she stepped up to the counter, noticing the more she got there that he was good looking underneath what he was wearing. But this was a no sleep, no kill pit stop, unless that was the payment she would make an exception.

"I need a tattoo, it's specific and I believe since you are the only one who appears to work or own this place…you know what it is. See a friend of mine got it named Micky Grant. I'm willing to pay but I need it done fast and no screw-ups. Think you can do that with some modifications? Like for instance, no period of healing time to wait for?" she asked, knowing perfectly well how she looked to him wearing her dress and heels, she didn't bothering changing. There was a small morsel of blood on the bodice that made the blue look off. "Also do you have a bathroom to change? If you need a payment plan up front best discuss it now." The moment he told her where the bathroom was she was heading there with her bag in hand.

The man gazed after her with curious and amused blue eyes, she certainly thought she was all that and a bag of chips. Drumming his fingers on the counter in a thoughtful rythm he waited, they still had to hammer out terms of payment. He remembered Micky Grant, poor desperate bastard who would have done anything to himself to stop the inevitable ride down to Hell, he wasn't such a bad guy but he was a whole steaming pile of stupid.

"You're kinda bossy, ain't ya?" he told her once she was out of the bathroom and facing him on the other end of the counter. "It's all very well that you're willing to pay but the fact is this, you pay and get the work you want or you don't and I tell you to fuck off and you get nothing." He shrugged and leaned against the sidewall his eyes playing over her body. He knew she didn't like his tone, apparently she was accustomed to getting what she wanted one way or another but he wasn't the kind of guy to tolerate that kind of treatment no matter whom he was dealing with. "I don't do sloppy work sweetheart, as for payment how about a little piece of that fiesty soul of yours or perhaps something else," he grinned and pinned his sights to her goods both above and below the belt, "the fast healing you want is going to cost you extra."

Cocking an eyebrow, she had changed into shorts, a long sleeve fishnet leotard with a black bra underneath. Letting the bag drop to the floor she placed her hands to the side as if she had asked a question. "Whatever, just as long as I get the fucking tattoo. So how you wanna play this? _Payment_ first or after?" Stepping closer to where he was she stood in front of him, eyes trailing him since he welcomed the fact that looking was okay. "And if you ever tell me to fuck off while this is all going down, I'm going to find a place to fuck off." She let her hand slide over his chest and down to his hip to tease back and forth over the clothing. "Oh, and don't call me sweetheart. You should know I don't do _this_normally, so I'm cutting you a deal, I give you what you want without you winding up on the floor dead and I get my tattoo with the skills of so-called non sloppy ass artist. "

Alex stepped back and crossed her arms, leaning into the wall mimicking him. He called her bossy, yeah she was but she didn't like it when people called her on it. Actually she didn't like how he was talking to her, she had to admit it was a little bit of a turn on because she didn't really get back talkers who were so brave since she went to Hell and got back. She was assessing him, what he was going to do, what he was going to say, why he seemed familiar and she figured it was just the fact of so many tortured souls she had carved into pulled into one. Small details haunting her but it wasn't really haunting, more like poking at her with a stick to make her remember why the details made him familiar. Alex grinned cockily back at him, she could play his game.

Laughing with a shake of his head he invited her into the back room, far cleaner than the front would have hinted at, for him to perform his work. "Normally payment's up front but for you I'll make an exception, since you're so pretty," he winked with a hint of derision and patted the seat where he wanted her to sit while he set up his tools. Snapping on some latex-free gloves the man selected his tattoo gun already cleaned and prepped to receive ink. Turning in his chair he smiled at her pleasantly, "Classic black or perhaps something a little more wild, fuschia or lime green maybe, I also need to know where you want it sweetheart."

"Stop calling me that, your flattery is nauseating and lacking in creativity. I'm not the mushy type. How about you do it in red?" Alex removed her hair to the side. "And on the back of my neck just slightly down almost between the shoulder blades." Looking over her shoulder at him she gave him a slightly flirtatious grin bordering primal. "Think you can do that?"

Alex turned her head back and for some reason had a bit of Déjà Vu. For what she wasn't certain but she brushed it off. Must have been something she said years ago or to a soul in Hell. Hearing the sound of the needle buzz to life she tensed, she had never really had a tattoo, this would be her first but it needed to be done. Protection, there was no other way.

"Red it is."

The first touch of the needle went down on Alex's skin without need of a stencil to show him the way, he was intimately familiar with the ward that he was permanently etching in the brunette's skin. He had put it on enough people that thought they could outrun their fate. It usually only bought them a little bit of time for whatever that was worth to them.

"All done," he said in a singsong voice that doctors used on kids after they had their immunization needle. The man taped a gauze square on her back after cleaning it up and smoothing some salve on the fresh tattoo that would make it heal quickly. Pressing down the last bit of tape the blue-eyed man tossed the gloves and leaned back. "Take off your clothes, those cute little shorts first."

Alex stood; feeling the soreness of the tattoo but if this involved healing then so be it. However that worked. Facing him she unbuttoned, unzipped and then slowly brought them down, kicking them away once that was done. She walked up to him, straddling where he sat and tilted her head. "If you want the rest off you're going to have to do it yourself," Alex whispered into his ear, mouth going down to his neck she kissed and bit.

She was not one to give in, sure tease. This was payment but didn't mean she couldn't have fun with it like she does with the others. Making sure that part of her rested over the bulge in his pants she arched her back in so then her lower half pressed down more. Pulling back Alex looked into his blue eyes with hers. More Déjà Vu. She blinked a few times really fast confused, why did she fee like she knew those eyes?

_Do I know you?_ The silent question passed over before she shrugged it off once more, lips meeting lips. He tasted fantastic.

The man laughed when he broke off the kiss, blue eyes flashing with amusement and lust. Grasping the interlacing threads of the leotard over Alex's crotch he pulled them taught between her crease. "Geez, that must be real uncomfortable."

He gave it a good swift tug, which forced Alex to bounce on him. Pushing her off so she could recover from the inflicted wedgie, the man stood and removed his shirt then stepped out of his dirty jeans after he kicked off his boots. There was no hiding the large bulge pressing against the thin fabric of his boxers as he stalked towards her. Reaching out he swiftly grabbed her back, bunching up the fishnet there and pinned her down against a cold hard metal table with her hips braced against the edge.

The subtle rustle of his boxers dropping mixed with the tearing of her leotard and he leaned up against her to whisper in her ear, "You gotta relax, tensing up like that is only gonna make it more fun for me than you."

The smile and heat in his voice was palpable and without much grace given to allow Alex to relax the man thrust up inside of her with a satisfied grunt. Letting her feel him throb and grow harder inside of her he bucked against her again, so quickly bruising her pelvis against the metal rim of the table. Right now he was feeling altogether primal. He hadn't fucked or played with anything in months, the whole ordeal was maddening and he needed to release his frustrations. What better way than to find that release in Alex Tatiani's tensed up pussy?

The abrupt pain of him entering had her eyes widen and mouth open. Alex liked this guy, he knew how to be rough and he appealed to her immensely with showing he wasn't going to take it. Different. Not weak. This was fun, she had fun before now but this was fun sex, this was no looking at whom she fucked with hate because of Dean. Alex laughed with a smile, using a little of her ability she pushed up from her stomach on the table, using her hands she pushed him back and out. Turning to face him she moved, avoiding his own hands while she maneuvered him with a few moves to the floor, her on top. Beginning to ride him while her hands held his wrists to the sides, nails digging in while her mouth went to his chest to devour. Leave bruises and bite marks.

With him inside her it felt amazing, the force he put into entering, into bucking, making her fight for it she couldn't help but be thrown back to that one dream she had when they were stuck in that self righteous town. The first time jump they had. It was a dream, she was in a cabin. With...who was she with? It wasn't Dean. It wasn't Leon. Who else could it have been? The force, the pure battle for control intoxicating, him teasing her, tempting her, trying to make her say yes. Who was the mystery man? Back to the task at hand, Alex would not let a stupid worthless memory from her old self interrupt and ruin her fun. Now was not the time to think, now was the time to fuck.

He didn't care that she couldn't remember him. A part of him, maybe his pride, should have been hurt by that fact. After all, all men desire to be remembered for their endeavors. But he was no man and his desires were far greater than what a human could remember or understand. Groaning as she slammed down on him he rolled forcefully and ground his hips into hers, or maybe not. It was his turn to ride; he would not let her have the advantage unless she fought for it all the way.

"Naughty, naughty. Using your powers," he tsk'd diving down to kiss and bite her neck, ignoring the stinging marks left by her nails on his wrists. Rising up on his knees he dragged her closer to fully sheath him and he held her legs under his arms, forcing her to arch her back against the ground as his powerful hips worked against her.

A moan rolled from her but it was what he said that really had her. Alex normally wouldn't have cared if a human knew she had abilities but she had used it so subtly that he picked up on it. Which meant he wasn't human. Her mind raced as she made sounds of pain and pleasure mixed into one. Staring into his blue eyes. Blue eyes. That had to mean something. Why couldn't she remember? Was it Hell? Alex decided to test. Hands going to his head she used abilities for some strength as she held him there, eyes turning black and blue.

"Who are you?" she growled, releasing another moan before staring deeper into his eyes, she needed the answer. It kept coming to her and she kept ignoring, now she couldn't ignore. The dream, the eyes, the knowledge of her abilities. The way he feels..."Apollo."

The next moan to escape was like a scream, her vocal chords on fire but she let her hands fall to his chest, nails scraping, while her back arched more. Her first climax hit and she laughed when she came down from the high of the moan. Smiling at him she had found her new play toy. When she met him she was disgusted by him, a tad intrigued, scared and hateful. She was naive then, she didn't know how to appreciate the things he did and could do. Alex managed to flip them over, separating, standing up and leading him by his hair to connect once more, she wasn't going to fight him, she wanted to direct him. Backing them up against a wall, her back against it while he blocked her in she raised her leg while the other free hand placed him back where he was.

"Awww, you do remember. Kinda hard to forget though isn't it, I know you've repressed it for the sake of other investments. Don't have to worry about those anymore though, right?"

He bucked into her before she could respond, lifting her one leg higher so he could reach deeper. Apollo's breathing was hard but concentrated, focused while he shifted his hips slightly to enter her from a new direction. Fucking and torturing were two of his favorites things to do and while he may have shared those career choices with another individual that Alex was intimately familiar with Apollo was a whole other animal. He wasn't some sniveling bullocks to the ground demon, sure when he was feeling dirty he'd find one to fuck until it's smoky filth poured from the meat it was riding but that was just for the sole sake of getting his dick wet. Apollo never went out of his way to associate himself with them.

Alex made a high moan from the new and deeper setting. One hand digging into his skin, needing some blood, while the other held onto whatever fixture was nailed into the wall. "I've realized my mistakes and my stupidity now shut up and fuck."

Bringing her hips closer to buck into him as a reply to his own she winced and growled happily. Alex found the real thing was better than the dream; she took what he gave and in return gave back with the same force. Answering with her body to his. This type of sex was better than what she'd had in a long time. She would have liked it to be in better circumstances. More blood. But being bruised into a wall was almost as good. Alex clenched at the pleasure to torture him as he tortured her with throbbing inside. The tattoo on her neck felt like ice against her sweaty skin, she wondered if it was beginning to heal. Breaking her own words she grinned and stared down at his chest pressed to hers.

"Got some kind of healing dick Apollo?" she laughed into a moan. Eyes shutting, neck arching and a breath exhaling audibly.

"Do I need one?"

He raked his teeth against Alex's neck his tongue pressing hard to taste back up the thundering pulse point before he nipped at her earlobe. Apollo was made of tougher stuff than a mortal man, wasn't he proving that by fucking Alex without fading in stamina? The back room had become a mess of toppled chairs and tables and wet smears of sweat and other expelled liquids until they were finally done and Apollo had reached his bursting point. Laying on the cool tile he smoothed a hand down his glistening chest with a laughing sigh but didn't stay there long before he was up and pulling on his boxers and jeans, using his shirt as a towel to dry off his skin.

"It's been fun," he commented while he pulled on his other boot and left the laces undone, "but I gotta jet, places to see, more people to do." He winked as he rubbed himself teasingly in her direction. Turning on his heel he strutted out into the front room but not before he snapped his fingers and Alex's scattered clothes burst into flames leaving nothing but useless and very un-wearable ashes. Apollo laughed and was gone in a blink leaving Alex to her own devices, he wasn't going to cuddle down and have pillow talk with the Anti-Christ.

888

**Cape Girardeau, Missouri  
>3:49PM<strong>

So she had gotten a new tattoo, perfectly healed, had found Apollo and had sex with him, fantastic sex. Then he burned her clothes. She had given a few grand curse words at the direction he had disappeared into. Alex liked those clothes. But her duffel was in the other room, changing wasn't a problem. After that she had gotten back on the road to her designated direction. Southern. Going around town it didn't take her long to find an abandoned home she could hold fort in. Whatever she planned to do here she didn't want another motel. Too risky. Making sure to plant some candles around the house for lighting, unloading her items and checking the perimeter she was satisfied. Today she'd walk around and get an idea of the town by getting a map like a damn tourist, come back to her temporary home before doing something tonight.

888

Astarte moved and sighed restlessly, fever dreams had her flinching and mewling in her sleep or what could be called sleep for the Goddess. It was more like a trance, a psychic cocoon she had wrapped herself in causing her to lose track of Sam's whereabouts for a long time. Whether he had stayed by her side or left or some mixture of in between she could not guess.

Her nose twitched then, she could smell him; his musk and she knew that perhaps he had been gone for some time. What mattered was that he had returned from whatever trip or journey he had gone on; he had come back to her. Eyelashes lifting to reveal sparkling slits of silver and starry purple-blue she first saw the glow of dying embers and a blurry shape moving behind them. Lips parting with a gentle but happy sigh that revealed the smallest hint of fangs Astarte tentatively uncurled the slender fingers of her left hand towards the familiar shadow.

_Sam_.

He moved towards her. Sam had only gone out to get food and water. There was no need to do anything else. Grabbing her hand he held it tight. A part of him still didn't like that she had done what she did to him but he forgave her. Now he understood and she was hurt because of him. He had been too violent coming out leaving her weak and unable. "I'm here. Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

_Then you need to rest. You can't get better unless you rest and eat._

Sam was concerned with how she looked back at him, like she could barely see him and how frail and weak she appeared. How long would it take for her to heal? How long would she be like this? Brushing her hair back from her face he cupped her cheek. He didn't know what to do, so he was trying human remedies. If he could he would have gone out and bought medicine, tea, anything to help. But he had a feeling that none of those things would help at all.

Sam had been out hunting but Astarte was not hungry for the meat or blood from any animal nor was she thirsty for the cool water of the waterfall. Her body was consumed with agonies that Man could never know, she had willingly put herself in a position that left her weak and powerless. However temporary it was still a mighty blow that would take time to heal. Tilting her head into his hand her eyes drifted closed. Taking his wrist with a frail hand Astarte pushed herself into a sitting position, no easy feat for her, her body trembled with the effort and a noise left her that would steal the courage from a man's heart. Recoiling from Sam's touch she curled in on herself with threatening noises that gnashed at the air, making the cave walls groan with moving rock.

Sam growled back. Baring his teeth he dove into his Alpha role. His mate would not recoil from him when he tried to help and she would not be hostile towards him. Not when she was injured. Sam took hold of her shoulders and stared deep into her eyes with his blue-green mixing with the amber. "You _will_ eat even if I have to force you," he growled.

Taking one hand back, he brought it to his mouth and bit down hard, quickly putting it to her lips he knew he could bruise her with the force he had it there but he managed her lips to open. To Hell that she was a Goddess, that didn't matter, they were connected, he had to take control now and then because that was how they worked. Was before she died and was after. He was not going to have her starve and he was not going to let her do what she wanted until she was getting better. Stopping when she gagged, he let the bite heal. A small amount was down in her system but it was still food for now. He hoped that he could get to animal meat and water, no matter the protests.

With all the will she had in her she resisted. Her hunger as ever was insatiable and in her state it was incredibly difficult to not latch onto Sam and drink every last drop out of him. A mouthful of blood was all she allowed herself to drink, and while her body hummed with it and begged for more she would not give into the craving. She would not kill him. The way Sam forced her to drink, forced his will on her was both an allure and an annoyance. Few could get away without harm and death for treating her with such disrespect and harshness. If Sam were a normal human unloved by her she would have torn through his neck, gorged on his blood and tossed his bones down a ravine for fish swimming through a stream to feed upon. And that would have been a mercy.

Carefully licking Sam's blood from her lips Astarte shivered with ecstasy, eyes fluttering closed and fangs pulling in her bottom lip to savor the wild copper taste. Sam's blood was exceptional, so much better now that the demon taint was out of it. Calming herself she relaxed, eyelids drooping as her sights fell to the cave floor to find that Sam's shirt had been discarded. The plaid was fairly hideous yet a part of her adored it, it was nostalgic. Carefully picking up the item with shaky hands she draped it over her shoulders, pulling one arm through one sleeve and then the other smoothing the cloth over her bare breasts and leaving the buttons open. A small tremor went through Astarte's body and she clutched the shirt around her torso. Fighting the urge to have another fit so soon after the first she slowly laid down to be as still as possible.

Sam moved away from Astarte to eat his own meal for the night. While he was doing so his eyes remained on her, making sure she was okay. Seeing her hug his shirt to him made him smile slightly. Looking past and to the sky outside he wondered what was going out there in the rest of the world. He was away from it all, away from completely everything and he furrowed his brows. He missed it. He missed his brother, hunting and arguing. The last time he saw Dean was at that Asylum, was he okay? Was he looking for him? Was Donnie still with him so then he wouldn't fall down a hole in some weird hiding-it way?

He loved Astarte because Von was apart of her, she loved him but he felt like he should be in two places at once. With her to get better and to be with his brother to help him. Running his hand through his hair he sighed, taking a drink of the water he collected and resting his back against the big rock by the fire to divert his thoughts to the flames and embers.

888

**Northern Chicago, Illinois  
>7:30PM<strong>

The area where the club had burned down was taped off but that didn't stop Dean from ducking under it and having a look around for himself. If anyone asked he was a cop, special K-9 unit, Dean smiled at least someone had gone with him on this. Sorcha was doing her own investigating, using that refined nose of hers to detect anything noticeable. All she got was ash and the damp smell of cooked pork smoked into the wood from a combination of people being burned alive and their remains being watered by the firemen that arrived on scene.

The wreck was being excavated, large dumpsters lined the site filled with debris. It would take them weeks to clear it all and sort through it for evidence, there were likely more bodies to be found as well. Sweeping his Mag light over the area he frowned when none of the usual signs were there. Which meant he was going to have to dig deeper to find out if this was some strange creature, an arsonist or a freak accident.

888

**Cape Girardeau, Missouri  
>Alley Outside Club Moxy<br>7:30PM**

Pressed against a wall by a horny ass guy with a big ego. Alex only wanted him because he was a virgin and it would be fun to spill blood while he realizes just what he was wanting to fuck for his first time. She bet that he was thinking tonight was his night to get laid, he was a good look guy but naive. Probably wanted to believe that she was the one, that in the morning she would be there, he would be alive and they could go out on dates like a normal couple. Wrong assumption. With him kissing her she allowed his hands to roam only to move towards the blade in her boot against his jean clad ass, pressing him intimately closer. Once she got it she opened her eyes, swirling black and blue she was going to have fun carving him up.

"Hey!"

The female voice snapped them out of it, the guy catching the very sharp and intricate blade in Alex's hand now that his attention wasn't oblivious. Backing up he only made it a few steps before Alex swung out and sliced his throat wide open. Him clutching it as he fell to his knees, trying to stop the blood, to close the wound. Fingers in his hair she arched his neck so then she could continue to carve while she looked directly at the coffee cream tinted woman staring at her in shock.

Digging her boot into his chest she kicked him backwards, out of the way and began to move towards the woman licking the blood off her fingers. She was bringing out her cell phone to dial the police no doubt, frantically looking side to side for anyone in the area to help. About to run when the brunette got closer she found she could not. Alex slowly placed the blade underneath the woman's chin, curly brown hair with volume and petite with long legs. Making her raise the phone to her to see the phone number being dialed she noticed the name. Dean Winchester. This woman knew him and was going to call _him_?

Alex whipped her hand out knocking her to the asphalt unconscious. Taking up the cell phone she pocketed it, putting into a fireman's carry she was going to take this pretty chick back to her place. Anyone who was a friend of Dean had to be fun, a new pet to play with and might be useful to her.

888

**8:15PM**

Fixing her hair in the candle lit mirror, Alex had been waiting for some time. Glancing through the mirror into the room behind her where the woman lay on the floor, a collar around her neck, chain coming from it and connected to cuffs around her wrists she had made sure it was safely secure to the heavy bedpost left behind by previous owners. Alex turned and tilted her head. She decided that now would be the best time to discard any money so a search for the wallet and she was beginning to flip through it. Pictures of parents, a first pet, boyfriend and then came the drivers license.

_Cassie Robinson._

With a tuck into her duffel she brought her attention back to the cell phone, contacts, one of them taunting her in the face with the fucking name. Without even thinking about it she tossed it at the wall in anger, watching it smash into tiny pieces. That was what woke up the pretty woman. Cassie blinked and winced at the pain lacing one side of her face. Sitting up she heard the clink of chains, her eyes trailing to her hands and then came the feeling of heavy metal around her throat. Scrambling to an upright position she backed up into the corner of a wall. When she landed on Alex her eyes widened. Fear.

"Oh cute. You fear me. Good." Alex moved to Cassie and gripped the chain, tugging her close while she knelt in. "I see you know Dean Winchester. How do you know him?"

Cassie didn't expect this but she figured if she was being asked this that this was all a game of trying to get to him. A game piece, bait. Ransom maybe. This thing, this person knew him as well. "He'll come and save me."

"Really? You honestly believe that? I've been through your cell phone, no calls to him in years, no texts to him...nothing. The man doesn't even use email so that's out of the equation. How the Hell he is supposed to know you need saving when he hasn't heard from you in a long time?" A beat. "You two fucked didn't you?" She laughed and smiled, shaking her head she pushed the chain back, standing, going to the bed and sitting down with her leg crossed over the other waiting. "So tell me this story of the both of you, word for word, all the details. I need to know these things and if you don't tell me, I'll do far worse things to you than that man in that alley."

She could already tell this Cassie would be tough, but she would only act it. Showing her a nice grin and flashing her eyes, the story began to unfold with stuttering plump lips and shaking chains.

888

The trail was going cold fast through the newspapers. No more buildings being burned to the ground with dozens of people inside was steering Dean into a dead end. It was time to start interviewing people, maybe some of them caught something weird on previous nights before the club went up in smoke. All Dean had to do was find out who had been to the club and that involved research. Sammy was always the one that was good with the research, it made Dean start to think about dropping this whole thing and joining Bobby, Castiel and grudgingly Meg again to help them find him, it wasn't like he had stopped, he just had this side job to do. But a little voice in the back of his head was whispering to him to keep looking into this, it was going to lead to something.


	11. Chapter 11

**Warning:**** FULL story Rated M for language, sex and violence.**

**June 10, 2009**

**Northern, Chicago**

**10:03AM**

For the past day and two nights Dean had been finding out things his way, mingling with the locals and chatting them up for information. Apparently what happened at that club was best left at that club, he had been lucky enough to find a handful of people that used to go there, now frequenting another watering hole but only two were willing to say much more than the fact they attended the place. Hearing about it reminded Dean when the four of them had gone to that kink night in order to track down the witch Luka. That was soft core compared to this place, Dean was starting not to feel so bad that the place burned down after finding out some of the details about what went on there. It was a regular horror show, amp up the freak factor; humans were sick sons of bitches.

When his 'that shit's fucked up' meter topped out he started asking about the ring leader of the whole thing, who was running the place and allowing these sickos to live out their twisted fantasies? Neither one of his leads could be too sure whether the person was the owner or just a manager but they both came up with the same description, short brunette, blue eyes and a name. Alex. No last name, but Dean didn't need one. Since then his stomach had been in knots and he had been sitting at the small motel table staring at the wall as if he held his gaze long enough on the crease of yellow wallpaper that it would spit out some miracle answer that would save him from all this.

_Alex? This can't be you doing this._

The fear in him told him otherwise, there was always that chance, after all she was half demon and she was supposed to be the Anti-Christ. What if it was true, what if she came back to help the Devil destroy the world and the club was her pet project? Tilting his flask and tonguing the last drops of alcohol from the mouth of it he set aside the newspaper he had been reading over. Down in Missouri there had been a brutal murder of a woman; there was a man at the scene covered in blood who was of course the prime suspect. Thing was he kept rambling about a dark haired woman being the one that killed the girl with inhuman brutality. By the physical description it sounded like it was Alex and it was the only lead he had.

"Guess we're going to St. Louis, Missouri," he said to Sorcha.

The dog had been with him whenever she could, so whenever he was not in a bar, and had been keeping a close eye on him. There was something off, the way he smelled, the strange glint he got in his eye that one time she had noticed. She didn't like it and she hated that she couldn't tell Dean what it was she was thinking. Sometimes he could understand what she was trying to tell him, like right now when she was pulling down the bed sheets before nosing his hand. He had to sleep, however little he could because right now he looked like hammered shit and Sorcha knew he would be lying if he said he didn't feel it either.

_Poor Dean_, she thought, if only she could be of more help to him.

888

**Cape Girardeau, Missouri**

**10:10AM**

She had been thinking over things, decided it was now time to move on but she wasn't going to leave Cassie behind. There was valuable information and fun there. Why waste it by killing her? Cassie had told her everything, just like a good girl because deep down Alex believed that her tough act was all it was...an act. Once faced with real danger, death face to face, torture at the hands of someone half inhuman then beans were spilled. Alex had a feeling she was going to like this woman. Picking up her duffel, stuffing in some blades from play time to coax more out into another bag she took up the chain, wrapping it around her wrist. She was really happy that she got an abandoned home away from snooping eyes, ears and noses so she could escort her kitty to the car, right beside her.

When she had gone into town for some food she had picked up a newspaper, about the club back in Chicago. No doubt Dean was already there and there it was, the information about slaughter at the motel room in Northern Missouri. Next destination a tip to the hat. Now it was time to move. Where? Further South then make her way West a state or two and ride up North. Putting the car in drive she glanced at the huddled piece of a woman. "Say goodbye to the life you once knew and you better pray to whatever God you have that I don't get bored of you."

888

Sam was worried. She had had a fever since she fell asleep wearing his shirt and he had to constantly drape himself over her to sweat it out and then to cool her down when she got too hot with it. Finally she was sleeping peacefully but he couldn't help but worry. A Goddess in a human body who never took medicine for things, Sam was in a whole new league of not knowing what to do. All he could do was watch over her, make sure she was fed, make sure she drank, slept and then do the same things for himself but he could do nothing else. There was no one to talk to, no brother to bicker with about trying to find a way to make things right.

No one.

He had found himself howling outside in sadness a few minutes ago after finding food. Silence echoed back to him and he had ran back to the cave to sit and stare at the flames once more. Sam may not have had a calendar, but he had never been so aware of what month and day it was. Like his mind was clocked in and there was no thought necessary. Time was moving on and he could feel things happening yet he didn't know what they were. Important things. Important things were going on in the cave too...it was the fact he was a hunter through and through, he had to do something and hunting down food was not satisfying that part of him.

_I can't leave Astarte and I can't leave the cave. I wish I knew what to do._

888

**St. Louis, Missouri**

**6:30PM**

Two hours of sleep and a six-hour drive later Dean and Sorcha arrived in St. Louis where the grizzly murder took place in a small apartment building. Standing outside the apartment now Dean eyed the 'No Pets' sign nailed to the door of the apartment complex, like some stupid sign had ever stopped him from doing something illegal or rude before. "C'mon Sorch'."

He signaled the black dog to go ahead of him as he opened the door and followed after. Heading up the stairs where a sign marked there was an elevator up ahead the duo waited for the door to open, incurring the occasional glare from a resident for the large black beast accompanying Dean. "Dogs aren't allowed here," someone said as the elevator door opened with a ding and they both entered, Dean waved and smiled like a douche at the guy who chided him in the hallway.

"Asshole," Dean grinned, Sorcha wagging her tail in agreement, the elder Winchester seemed to be more himself right now, not so off putting but the dog was far from letting down her guard. Besides there was work that had to be done.

The hallway was quiet and so were they, stopping at door number 206 Dean pulled out his knife and cut the police tape before wrapping an old handkerchief around his hand to test the door to see if it was unlocked. Lucky him it was and easing the door open the two of them slid inside to do some of their own investigating. Two days had gone by and the smell of death still clung to everything, the window had been left open for obvious reasons and Dean guessed they thought no one would bother trying to climb in through there with it being two stories up and no fire exits out that way. There was so much blood the bed was still wet with hard dry patches pulling the sheets into rigid patterns all Dean could smell was the blood, maybe the underlying hint of sex underneath which meant he was going to have to rely on Sorcha's sense of smell to tell him what he wanted to know.

Was this Alex's doing?

The way Dean imagined it happening could have made it almost anything because lots of monsters left big gooey messes like this as their calling card. But when Dean asked Sorcha the million-dollar question she gave as clear an answer as a dog could give without speaking English. Alex had been here, her scent was everywhere, that didn't tell Dean if she had killed the girl in the newspaper article but the hunter was having a tough time convincing his gut that she was here to just take in the sights. Finding little else to go on Dean decided it was time to leave and go to the hospital where the survivor, a.k.a. the suspect because the cops didn't know what the hell they were doing, was locked up safe in his own room. Dean wanted to interview him personally, newspapers always kept out certain details and the victims didn't always tell the whole story.

888

**St. Louis, Missouri**

**Touchette Regional Hospital**

**7:01PM**

Paul stared at the cuffs holding him to the bed railing. He obviously wasn't going anywhere when he was the suspect no matter what he told them. They didn't believe him, considering he didn't know the woman that was killed it meant he was the only option. No fingerprints of another person, only theirs. Why did she have to kill her? Why did she have to leave him alive? He might be spending his life behind bars because of her but he wasn't angry or revengeful, he was scared. Every time there was a noise outside his room he flinched, thinking she came back to finish him off since he was caught. She had left him pretty banged up and mentally unstable, so the handcuffs were for the last bit as well.

Images burned into his mind that he would never be able to forget. Watching her die...it was gruesome, blood everywhere, screams...it haunted his dreams when he would get so beyond fighting to stay awake. Hearing someone talking to the police officer guarding the door, it opened, revealing another man in a suit. A lawyer? An angry brother? He didn't know what the woman had behind, if she had family out there looking for her but no one came to interrogate him or to blame him and from what he heard from the officers the other day no one claimed the body. What was left of the body that is.

Green orbs penetrated into him and he felt like shrinking down into the hospital blankets and pillows. He was covered in bruises cuts, bandages, broken rib and his knee was dislocated to an extent it was difficult to set back in place. Paul knew he'd be lucky to walk once he was healed enough for a hearing, to be brought down to the station to be questioned like the suspect he was thought to be. Eying the suit with frantic scared eyes, he wasn't sure how to react, what to say if he should say anything at all. Anyone who came into his room that had heard of what had happened and would see how he reacted and looked would call him insane. If he was convicted of what he didn't do...he might just be put into an asylum.

"Can I help you?" he asked shakily, clearing his throat as his limbs froze, fingers playing with the blanket out of nervousness.

The poor bastard was scared shitless anyone could see that and if anyone else had enough sense they would be able to see that terror didn't stem from the fact he got caught. The eyes that stared back at him with trepidation were those of someone who had seen horrifying things, unspeakable nightmarish things. Dean looked over the medical report, normally something Sam would have done if he were here with him, the guy had sustained enough injuries that should have pointed out that he hadn't killed the girl. Police never looked much further than what their eyes could see. The facts were clear enough though that Dean hoped that this guy wouldn't get locked away for being unlucky and being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Calm down there Mr. Grover, I just want to ask you a few questions," Dean eased his hand into the air to calm the man, "I know there was a second woman with you, a brunette, I need you to describe her to me in every detail." He knew this wasn't going to be easy for the guy, Dean was sympathetic and took pity on him but he had to find out what he had to find out. Which meant if he had to he wasn't going to be all that nice about it. And from what he could see Paul Grover knew that.

He didn't want to cause trouble and so he retold the story of how he met the two women. Especially about the brunette. She had told him not to give her first name out and changed her mind at the last second when she broke his rib but he explained everything. Her eyes, her features, the way she acted, moved, her first name...Alex. That was all he knew. He didn't feel right to say about how she was during sex because she was fantastic but that part made him feel disgusted with himself and felt as if in a way he was the killer. Allowing her into his apartment...

"You..." a pause as he sat up a little more, "You _do_ believe me right? I'm not crazy? You don't think I'm crazy?"

"No, I don't think you're crazy."

Dean wished he could say that Paul was, that would mean he wouldn't have to go on living knowing what happened to him was real. He wished he could have helped but he had gotten what he wanted, now it was time to leave the traumatized bastard to his fate, maybe the justice system would spare him. Back in the Impala Dean told Sorcha what was going on, he thought he was going crazy talking to a dog but she was giving him a very insistent blue eyed stare. It wasn't like he could tell anyone else this, though he was staring at his phone debating whether to call Bobby and let him know that he was tracking Alex, finger hovering over the dial button with the old hunter's name highlighted on the screen.

Pushing the green 'Send' button Dean pressed the phone to his ear, _ring...ring...ring_... voicemail. "Bobby, I think I got a bead on Alex call me back when you get this."

Dean ended the call and tucked his phone in his pocket then turned the Impala out of the parking and down the street. He had Sam's laptop, now was as good a time as any to start looking up more leads, Alex was playing some fucked up game because she wanted to be found. When his phone went off Dean thought for sure it was Bobby getting back to him about Alex, instead it was a surprisingly familiar number from a period that seemed another lifetime ago. Almost letting it go to voicemail Dean pressed down on the answer button and lifted the phone to his ear.

"Cassie?" he swallowed struggling to make it quiet over the phone. "Look now's not really a good time..."

"Is this Dean Winchester?" Mrs. Robinson asked, hearing the man on the other end think she was Cassie led her to believe so but she wanted to be completely sure. She would not have called if she didn't think it was an emergency and he had saved her and her daughter, Cassie had informed after they left, explaining things to her she didn't want to know but she didn't question though she thought it unbelievable. "My daughter Cassie has gone missing." What else was there to say? The police thought she would turn up but she would have called, she would have showed up before now. Cassie knew better and with the murder in the alley of that poor man. That was at the club where Cassie said she was hanging out with a guy she was meeting for a first date.

Dean quickly weighed the options of this being a joke or not. Going with the call being genuine didn't make him feel any better about what he just heard from Cassie's mom, his stomach started to twist painfully while he remained calm. Clearing his throat, "When did she go missing?" Hearing the answer he nodded and turned the car around to take the highway down to Cape Girardeau. "I'll be there in a couple of hours" He hung up and let the phone drop in his coat pocket while he floored the accelerator. The sickening feeling grew, if there was a God Dean would pray to him that Alex coming back and Cassie going missing wasn't connected.

888

**Cape Girardeau, Missouri**

**9:03PM**

Dean remembered exactly where Cassie's house was on it's own plot outside of the small downtown area. Sorcha followed him as he nearly raced to the door and banged on the wooden frame, he exuded calm but underneath his nerves were rattled to the bone and his scent gave off all the tones of anxiety. It had Sorcha on edge watching for that hint of a shadow that had lapsed over Dean's face a couple of days ago that wasn't Dean at all.

Closer. They were on the trail, Alex wanted them...Dean...to find her. Leon grinned at that what pulled that grin from his face though was the fact that thorn to his side, the dog, was staring at Dean like she was suspicious. Once he figured out Dean with a fine tooth comb he was going to one thing in getting rid of the dog and that was going to be easy. Maybe direct so much into one thing to do that Dean left the dog at a motel and never went back. He was thinking a lot of things to do to the mongrel.

Leon had paid special attention to what was going on though despite those thoughts he kept to himself. It was a lot of work holing up in someone and completely being separate until the right moment. It was also a lot of work to not take hold so soon like a virgin boy getting too hasty at the entrance of a woman begging for it. A woman named Cassie was missing, Dean had a feeling that Alex was connected to it but wanted to deny it and really see for himself. He would see. Leon wouldn't put it past his creator to run into someone affiliated with the hunter whether it was on purpose or by sheer accident. This Cassie had a string pulled taut on this Winchester. Once lovers Leon bet.

Seeing the mother through Dean he listened to the words very carefully.

Mrs. Robinson opened the door at the loud knock on it. Finding the man she had seen almost 4 years ago when Cassie's father died along with their friends, she almost looked relieved. He was here to help find her baby, her daughter she loved and the only one she had left in the world so close to her. Dean appeared more weathered than he had been, lots of things had happened in his life that worked hard into his features and the way he carried his frame. Motioning for him to come in along with the dog, she closed the door and led into the study off to the left.

"She told me that if anything happened, anything strange to her or just in general. I was to call you. The night she disappeared she was supposed to come home at 12. She said she'd be home by then and that if she wasn't she'd call. Cassie always lets me know, she knows how much I worry...especially since..." she broke off and looked at Dean knowing he knew what she meant. "The police won't help and her phone is disconnected. I called you because I want her back, I want to know she's safe and also that I don't believe she's dead. A mother knows these things and she's not." A beat. "There was a body found where she was that night if that helps you, maybe she was in the wrong place at the wrong time...one of those situations."

_Please bring my baby back, please._

Her eyes said it all to him, she had done her fair share of crying and still it was hard to keep composure.

888

**Monroe, Louisiana**

**Studio Apartment**

**9:14PM**

Alex sighed, her arm around the waist of the trembling Cassie Robinson. Kissing up the back of her to her neck, leaning over her shoulder to whisper in her ear, one hand trailed to her chin to hold in place. "You know it wouldn't have to be rape if you just gave in and started enjoying it. Maybe even kissing back or I don't know putting more effort into giving some in return...otherwise you could have avoided his death," Alex said, bringing her eyes to the hansom bachelor on the floor by the balcony, crammed into a corner, sitting up and staring right at the bed where they were laying on.

They had arrived a couple hours ago and found a willing participant when she showed up at his apartment door dressed all cute and slutty while Cassie was forced into a nice outfit to fit the chains. He bought it. Sadly enough when Cassie was trying to get away, whimpering and being difficult Alex had to kill him a little into the game. Now dry rusty blood decorated the woman's skin beneath her as well as the sheets. Alex stood, making sure the chains were well secured into the bedpost before standing naked, over to the body, lifting her hand she used the ability that all demons had, flinging bodies by defying gravity for only a few moments. The body of the dead man now rested on the kitchen island counter top.

Moving to the fridge, pulling out some orange juice to drink while selecting a butcher knife she coyly glanced at Cassie. A lick of her lips from the juice droplets she began to dissect the corpse like a frog in biology class. The only difference was that whatever she removed she placed onto a plate for a late night snack for her kitty.

888

**Cape Girardeau, Missouri**

**Club Moxy**

**9:30PM**

The alley where the murder occurred had already been cleaned up, pretty quick work but Dean had enough of questioning the competence of the authorities over the last few days. He wasn't sure exactly what he was looking for but he hoped whatever it was hadn't been washed away from the clean-up crew, and that it was something that would lead him closer to finding Cassie and Alex. There was nothing. What was worse that no one had seen anything happen outside the club two nights ago so Dean didn't have any idea where Alex had taken Cassie, except from what he knew about Alex which meant she wasn't in Cape Girardeau anymore. She had shipped off to destinations unknown.

Raking a hand through his hair in frustration the randomly mundane thought hit him that it was getting long and he should cut it soon. Kicking that thought aside Dean's attention went to Sorcha who was sniffing around walking absently down the street while she followed her own nose. So with no other options Dean followed, they passed five blocks before Sorcha lost the trail and started circling trying to pick something up again.

"It's no use, she's not here."

He stared out past the streetlamps to the dark beyond. Alex was leaving a trail of bodies, bile started to crawl up Dean's throat at the implications. He was always one step behind, the one person he found alive was only because Alex wanted him to and he knew that. Alex could get real bent out of shape and jealous so if she had found out anything about Cassie and Dean having been in a relationship years ago that meant she wouldn't let Cassie off easy. But that didn't guarantee that Dean would find her alive. Dean would give anything to have Sam at his side, even Castiel or Bobby who still wasn't returning his calls. That too had him worried and he never felt more alone than he did in that moment.

888

**Monroe, Louisiana**

After she had sliced and diced she had began to feed a reluctant Cassie. Making her swallow despite the gagging and finally after a good Bicep was inside her belly, Alex made her way to the side table where the man's cell was. Pulling up new text message she began to pick out the letters to be sent to her favorite tracking hunter.

_'Monroe, Louisiana. Try an apartment complex across the street from Jack's Diner, studio apartment 2. Having fun yet?'_

To the blender she made sure it sent fully because watching it become anything but what it had been. Going back to the bed she began to dress into a black jean jumpsuit, a pleated red schoolgirl short skirt and her combat boots. Making sure she had everything in hand, including the chain that was connected to Cassie she flashed her eyes, finger prints disappearing, anything that could be identifying on a police computer and science team. "I'm bored of this place, how about we split?" A tug and a click of the door shutting, she grinned down the hallway to the stairs.

_Come and get me Dean._

888

Dean didn't reply to the text, he was already in the Impala and now he was speeding down the road out of Cape Girardeau and towards Monroe, Louisiana. It was a seven and a half hour drive if the speed limit was followed but even with Dean speeding it was too far away and he knew by the time he got there that Alex would be gone leaving him to follow another clue.

_This is just a game to her, sick twisted bitch!_

He was at the end of his rope to the point he wasn't sure what he was going to do when he caught up to Alex, try to talk her down from her insanity or empty a clip in her head and be done with it. He had loved her once and his chest went tight with pain at the idea of killing her after he wanted her back so badly. But these murders to put it on the soft side of mildly were happening because Alex wanted to be found under the worst possible circumstances.

_Does she want me to kill her?_

888

**June 11, 2009**

**Monroe, Louisiana**

**4:09AM**

Dean knew he was already too late but he had to know, he had to be sure. After trying every damn button on the intercom and then in frustration running his hand down them all, the door unlocked. Racing up the stairs because the elevator was taking too long Sorcha charged ahead of him waiting for him to open the door for her to lead the way. The smell of blood hit her nostrils and she flew down the hallway without having to read the numbers, stopping at apartment two on the upper level. There wasn't any reason for Dean to get out his lock picking kit or to kick the door down, it was unlocked, he actually had enough sense in him to check before he blew the door off it's hinges.

He could smell it before he saw the body on the kitchen table, cut up like Thanksgiving dinner. It was obvious there were pieces missing and from an entire inspection of the rest of the apartment those pieces were nowhere. No time to give the body another once over, sirens sounded outside and Dean and Sorcha were in the hall and heading down the backstairs like their lives depended on it. Narrowly disappearing into some thick hedges as three police officers rounded the corner Dean and Sorcha walked the long way around to get back to the car. So they went to the apartment that the suspicious text told them to go to, Dean knew it was Alex without her having to say. She knew he couldn't keep following the trail of bodies forever and wanted to up the chase.

Again, what now? There were no clues other than Alex had taken parts of this guy's body this time, something she hadn't done with the other victims. Dean didn't want to think of what she needed with a human arm and other miscellaneous parts, he knew she wasn't much for magick unless that had changed. For a couple of minutes Dean watched the police flowing in and out of the building, CSI unit coming in to do their share and civilians nosing around trying to find out what was happening. There had to be something he was missing, she wouldn't have sent that text only to vanish completely again.

888

**Neville High School, Monroe, Louisiana**

**7:45AM**

What better way then to stay in town? Sure she could have skipped it and gone somewhere new but she wanted to make sure that Dean stayed on her. Setting up chunks of the penis and toes up on trays for the biology class, it was not going to be their normal day of frogs. Wearing a lab coat over her outfit, hair tied up in a bun with pieces sticking out, a pair of glasses she stole off an 18 year old senior girl putting on makeup all alone in the girls bathroom down the hall...someone would find her body with glass shards inside her face and her ribcage carved outward to be hung on a bathroom stall hook.

Alex had left Cassie tied up in the hull with a perverted geezer that she said he could do anything to the woman sexually as half of the payment to keep his fucking mouth shut and bring them over to West Monroe on his little boat, then the rest was her own surprise to give him after. In the mean time he was waiting for her to get back. Once all the trays were set where they needed to be she caught one of the teenage boys eying her and she gave a little coy smile to him, playing the innocent lab helper. When he motioned for the hall pass by the door she faked a blush and exited with her job done. The teacher hadn't paid any attention to Alex while she had been in there, she had a helper every now and there it appeared for these types of things so she never kept track. Her lucky day.

The boy came out into the hallway and Alex batted her pretty blue eyes, acting shy. "Wanna go somewhere private? Biology is boring anyways," he said. "Name's Matthew. You can call me Matt."

Giving a nod she knew exactly where they could go.

888

Dean was running after Sam, little Sammy before he hit his growth spurt who laughed that his big brother couldn't catch him even while he was so much taller than he was. As he chased Sam he watched him grow, a teenager now and Dean could see the moodiness in Sam's sea green eyes, the struggle in them to fight against what he was told to do and always the questions. No wonder he was so smart, all that curiosity had been put to good use. Then that moody cloud would break with a smile and a laugh, right from the heart just like his big brother laughed. Dean loved hearing that laugh the most, not the sarcastic or subdued laugh, like if Sam laughed too hard it would hurt him. Dean thought maybe sometimes it did, because sometimes it hurt him too.

It hurt to remember.

Sammy hit his growth spurt, tall as a beanpole and just as skinny, maybe in a couple years he would gain some weight so he wouldn't look like such a damn scarecrow. He was more quiet now, always thinking and watching, a human computer. Dean teased him about growing his hair out but the chicks seemed to like it, which made Dean tease him more because Sam never gave much more than a glance at a girl before he moved on, or before he was forced to move on. They were always moving.

Dean was still running after him, from park to pavement to dirt road. The world changed around them and so did they, a little more rough around the edges, a little more frayed. He watched how Sam changed, always so quiet except when he was angry, had Dad's temper, then everyone would hear about it. Sam would brood for days, it was hard for him not to care he always took everything to heart. Wasn't such a good trait to have when you were a hunter. A shadow kept appearing in Dean's peripheral when he looked nothing was there and when he slowed down Sam got ahead. So Dean ran faster, almost catching up, side by side but not quite, "Sammy", he called at last sure that his brother would hear him now that he was close. Sam slowed and then stopped to turn around and face Dean, he had a smile on his face, genuine and kind, one Dean hadn't seen in a while.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"Ready?" Dean's brows knitted together in puzzlement. "Ready for what?"

Sam pointed behind him, which made Dean turn around to find out what it was. Storm clouds slithered across the blue sky, rain lightly pouring down in a spring shower that didn't blot out the rising sun, instead it enhanced it by covering every surface with reflected sunlight. Collected droplets from Dean's hair ran down his face and chin, it felt cool and refreshing. Puddles began to form quickly despite the lightness in which the rain was coming down. Rainwater traveled winding down the path glittering golden red from the sun but Dean stepped back, finding it was not water but thick as blood. Looking to his brother Sam dropped down on his knees and then his hands, tonguing the water like a wolf at a creek.

"Sam?" Dean's voice was uncertain, scared. Lifting his hand with the sight of red on it he flinched when more red droplets speckled his palm, mingling with the water already there. Blood streaked down his face chased by the pure rain that was still pouring from the sky, Sam was still drinking from the stream, tongue scraping against the rough pavement. "Sammy?"


	12. Chapter 12

**June 15, 2009**

Sam didn't know what to do anymore. Nearly driving himself insane with worry. Astarte didn't appear to be getting better although that was probably the crazed part of him that wanted and needed interaction. She _was_ making small improvement, she didn't push away from a few little bits of animal meat he hunted but she would get in so much pain and wear out she'd pass out completely. When she did this time, e tested her reactions to noise and movements and she did not wake.

The hunter changed into his boxers, jeans, socks and shoes. Leaving his shirt on her as he picked her up and made a decision she would not be happy with. They could not stay in the cave till she was better. Neither was he going to survive on animals, he loved the taste but missed human food and beds. Running faster than he ever did, he took a good long while doing so before he ran into an empty vacation cabin. From the smell it was visited a week ago and the scents of past stay showed they only came once every two months. Urine in the pipes told him many stories he didn't want to overanalyze.

Entering by breaking the lock, they had nice furniture and luxuries he hadn't seen in what felt like years. Even extra clothes for emergency were tucked away into the dressers, he took advantage of grabbing a shirt for himself after setting Astarte down in the bed of the Master. Tucking her in and going on the search for medicines and food unlikely to spoil so soon. He knew upon looking that he'd have to leave for a run to look for a gas station. Supplies was needed. One thing was for certain, he didn't know why, but he wasn't going to find a way to contact anyone, not even Dean. He didn't want to defy Astarte anymore than he did. No drawing attention to where they were...wherever they were.

_Sorry. But please understand this will help you. This will help me as well._

With the Summer he wasn't concerned about warmth but at night it would get colder and if she kept switching to fevers he couldn't to keep broken he would need wood for the fireplace. Double checking perimeter, leaving a note on a piece of paper in case she woke up and he wasn't there. He'd explain to her. But no matter how much he wanted to find his brother or call him, he wouldn't leave or betray. He made that clear in the note.

Leaving after marking territory he found a small isolated gas station miles off. Thankfully he had his wallet in his jeans so he was able to pay for the juices, waters, beef jerky, chocolate, medicines, first aid kit, toiletries including bathing, soups and whatever else that was food. Sam was beginning to run back when he decided to walk. Something told him that this was the only peaceful silence he'd get for a while.

888

Astarte awoke to unfamiliar smells, her mercurial orbs snapped open to surroundings that were not the safety of the cave. Searching around her as she crawled over the bed, keeping low to it out of a need not to be seen she scented the air finding Sam's aroma to be faint. He had been here but not long before he had left again, she had not seen the note but knew his mind and the reasons behind his actions. The Goddess was not pleased.

The air in the cabin coiled and shimmered like steam around her, her long wild auburn hair caught up in it's own breeze. She growled and the air expanded striking the mattress and shredding it to fluffy tufts, splintering the wooden furniture and shattering other decorations against the cabin walls. Crawling down from the bed she stood, nothing inside the cabin was spared her wrath yet the whole of the cabin remained intact. She dashed around the room, clawing at the wooden beams and kicking anything that got in her way in a maddening tantrum that was quickly exhausted when she collapsed to her knees and slid to the floor.

Taking in slow labored lungfuls of air, Astarte collected what strength she had left to stand, sinking her nails into a post to hold her lithe frame upright. Hunger gnawed at her insides with a terrible ferocity, all the human smells were of no help to quell the need to feed. Astarte stumbled out of the cabin and into the heavy lines of trees letting her hunger guide her towards food. And food she found after many steps among the trees, far from the cabin. A small group of hikers were moving along a narrow mountain trail, it was going to be an easy and enjoyable meal.

Wandering onto the trail took the group by shock, two of the young men hurrying up to help her, the wounded woman, she would make them enjoy it. Falling into the closest one she waited till he wrapped his arms around her to hold her up then she nuzzled her mouth against his neck, parting her lips and sinking her fangs into his tanned flesh.

The next closest male, whose face was stricken with fright, dropped to his knees when Astarte glanced at him a song filling his ears that had him enthralled as he watched her drain the life out of his friend. The other two members of the group shouted and screamed turning to run when with a wave of her hand Astarte had them fall, one off the cliff to the right to fall to his death and the woman into a tree that impaled her, pinning her in place and forcing her to watch.

Her victim moaned softly, pupils blown and eyes heavy with sex. Astarte could feel his rock hard dick against her thigh until there wasn't enough blood in him to spare an erection. That was when the ecstasy on his face faded and his eyes went dead. Astarte dropped the warm corpse to be swallowed up by the earth and stepped lightly towards the kneeling man, licking her moist crimson lips and smiling down at him. Cupping his chin she brought him to stand and easing him against a tree suckled at his neck drawing blood with the first touch of her lips. He trembled at first because he was afraid, so terribly afraid but that soon passed as he calmly accepted his fate while the red haired vixen lovingly pulled his life from him. She laid him to rest on the ground to be taken by nature.

Now Astarte turned to the woman who was still able to sustain making quite a noise despite her wounds, the Goddess forced a scream out of her when she invaded her mind with snarling hisses. Grabbing her face Astarte snarled revealing canines that resembled nothing human to match her paralyzing eyes, with a downward tug she ripped part of the woman's face off, unfortunately killing her with the brutal decapitation of her head that Astarte pounded into a fractured mess on a nearby boulder with an expression on her face that could only be described as pure glee.

The fourth member had broken his neck in the fall but that didn't stop Astarte from having her fun with it, kicking the poor bastards corpse around till it bruised and bones started to fracture and break. She didn't stop until bits started to fall off and cover the forest floor then she left the rest for the animals to enjoy and began to make her way back to the cabin. Arriving before Sam she decided she would wait for him here instead of seeking him out, he was on his way and she would give him the peace he so cherished because she had nothing kind to treat him with when he returned.

_You have exposed us_...

888

Something was wrong. Sam stopped as he was getting closer to the cabin. He could smell blood a ways away but the blood was not animal. Furrowing his brows he then ran towards the cabin. Why did he have a feeling that this wasn't an animal attack? Storming into the cabin he smelled the lingering blood in her body, dropping the grocery bags he growled as his eyes burned molten amber, he found her in seconds. Rushing her into furniture that was broken he knew it pierced her and he didn't care. "What have you done?" he yelled, lifting her towards him and then pushing her back in harder. "Do you realize that we are in danger because of your actions? And don't even say it was my actions that caused this, it was your stupidity and hunger. People are going to be looking for those bodies and when they find them they are going to search the area, find this cabin and find us! You stupid bitch!"

Sam pulled her up and tossed her towards the shredded bed, not caring anymore. He was angry, he was Alpha, he was not going to let his mate make a fool out of him when he was thinking logical. He was not going to take it kindly on her and allow her to punish him when she acted out the way she did. Yeah she wasn't happy that he brought them there but what she did...there was no excuse. When she rushed at him and made a move he wasn't aware of how strong he had become, how faster he had become than he used to be, taking her throat he slammed her to the floor with him holding down her limbs. Going down his mouth met her neck and he bit down hard enough to draw blood, nails elongating slightly to tear at the veins on her wrists as well. His mate needed to learn her lesson. He was willing to explain, he was willing to have an altercation when he got back but not to smell human blood, lots of it and to smell it from her mouth and hear it pumping in her veins. Not letting his mouth go before nearly all the blood she gained from those that were dead was drained, he roughly separated and left her there lying on the floor looking at him.

"Don't look at me like that. I didn't expose us, you just did. I tried it your way, I accepted that I wouldn't get to see anything ever again except you, but I can't accept that anymore. If you want us, if you want to do this and want to actually keep me. If you _love_ me like you say you do. You have to let me be who I am and who I am now. _You_ can't have everything be your way, you can't have everything period. That's not how it works here. Because you are a Goddess you see it that way. But if you dare do this again you will find me gone..." he stopped, his heart laced with pain at those words but they were true. He saw Astarte for who she really was lately. She had to have things her way and if he didn't obey to them he would be punished it would be deemed his fault and only his even if her actions were hers alone. "I may have accepted who I am now, but I will _always_ choose them over your ideals. They are who I am still, I'll save them every single time and if you don't understand that...then you don't know me. You are blinded by hate and by your need and want for control at all times."

Sam left her with that, walking out of the cabin he decided to head back to the gas station. He had a murder to report and he wasn't going to say it wasn't an animal, he was going to have to. The only problem was that Astarte didn't think, her fingerprints were all over those bodies, her DNA. He stopped then. Sam couldn't not report that they were killed, it would kill him inside to let this go and not let those who knew those people know. Could he really be so mad at Astarte to put _her_ at risk like that? Shaking his head he moved into the trees, going as far away from the dead bodies as possible before he looked around and let his head fall to his chest as the anger subsided. Slowly falling to his knees, pain took control as he raised his head to howl his mourning to the sky.

_I wish Dean were here. I wish that nothing ever happened..._

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Sam understood nothing, yet the agony of heartache tore at her chest. She had no intention of keeping him in that cave forever only until he had come to accept what he was, but then she couldn't leave because the ordeal had weakened her too much. If Sam had not broken passed the weakened barrier she set up to keep people away she would not have hunted those humans and slaughtered them, she would have stayed confined to the cave. Sam did not understand that in her current state the cave was the only fortified place to keep demons and angels from knowing where they were, humans were not much of a concern to her.

There wouldn't be any bodies to be found as Sam feared, Astarte had taken care of it when she gave their remains over to the earth. The rate which she excelled their decomposition was staggering, tissues, meat and juices were now fertilizer and the bones would be impossible to find, buried under trees hundreds of years old. Except maybe the one she had kicked around there would be no proof, three missing, one mauled by some kind of animal but inconclusive. Pain twinged along every nerve ending and Astarte curled into a tiny ball on the floor, the hurt in her body however could not compare to the ache in her heart, it touched deep down inside like someone was shoving a cold nail into it.

First tears slid down her dirty cheeks than a quiet sob left her when her body trembled, she had never felt this way, like this, before and she was scared. She remembered when she was human experiencing a similar feeling but this time it was much worse, acute in it's clarity and she never felt more lost. Astarte had always been alone, but with these acquired experiences of being loved she long for that feeling and hated that she did. Sam was stronger and continued to become stronger because he was drinking of her blood, there could have been other ways he could have taken her sustenance from her but instead he had drank it.

It wouldn't have been like anything he ever tasted before and comparing it to demon blood would be like drawing the sparse similarities between the spark of a tinder flint and the raw power of the sun. In all her many years there had only been one other whom she had allowed to drink of her that freely. Forest green orbs blinked through thick wet eyelashes, quiet sobs disturbed the silence of the cabin and sounded as if a forlorn sprite or ghost had had her fragile heart broken into a thousand tiny pieces. Hearing Sam's mournful howl Astarte clutched at her chest, heading dropping and eyes squeezing shut but she could not block it out.

The sky outside began to darken to a soft melancholy grey as rain clouds formed overhead and rolled over the high mountain peaks, cold fresh drops of water started to pitter-patter on the outstretched leaves that created a mysterious song in it's own right that few could appreciate. It carried in it the sweet sadness of something beautiful that could not be out into words. Astarte had found her way outside again, crawling on her hands and knees until she rested on a mound of moss between two large poplar trees enough space between them to allow the rain through. The droplets mingled with her tears as she cried and the more she wept the more it rained.

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Feeling the rain come around him he knew what was causing it. He could hear her, he heard her leave the cabin and knew where she lay. In reality they would never really understand the other. They couldn't no matter how much they thought or believed they did. But then again he knew she knew nothing of what human lives meant to him, sure maybe something from memories of Von but even then it wasn't enough. Sam couldn't have stayed in that cabin with her after what he did and said because he knew that he would have hurt her more, possibly to the brink of weakness far worse than what she had been at at the start from him. He needed space from her, he was who he was, forced to be that way because of her. Her reasoning was simple, so then he wouldn't be so conflicted, he'd be better and he wouldn't go killing and saying it wasn't him. It was.

The fact was that no one could have their way entirely but since she took him away he felt like it was her way or nothing. If he didn't accept what she wanted him to do then he should be punished. That was not how they worked, not how he worked and not how their connection worked. Didn't mean he wasn't going to lower his Alpha energy, that was heightened since he woke back up. Standing slowly he turned around, she would not cry in this infernal rain she was creating. Damn it she _was_ going to accept where he placed them, she was going to rest, take what he gave her to make her better and he was going to fix up the place and care for her. That was just what he could do. Right now he wasn't happy with her and thought she deserved what she did for her actions. He did too, but not in the way she thought.

Once Sam found her he took her weak crying form into his strong arms, not letting go if she decided to fight against him. Not like she could right now. Heading back inside the cabin he placed her on some blankets and pillows by the fireplace while he started it up. Giving her a warning look with his amber eyes flashing at her, to stay and not move he grabbed the bags he had abandoned earlier and came to sit next to her. Apple juice and two pills for fever and other symptoms, also to help her sleep he helped her down them despite her not wanting them. When they were down Sam set the juice aside and stood, beginning to strip away his clothes he got under the blanket with Von, wrapping his arms around her, every part of him touching her to bring more heat to her he snuggled his nose into the crook of her neck, noticing the bite mark still there he licked it clean watching it heal over he soon brought her wrists to his mouth to do the same for healing.

Sam went back to her wrapped up in him, against him and he sighed. "Fighting will get us nowhere..." he whispered softly, his hand taking hers and lacing their fingers. "Neither will holding anything from the other and not trusting or putting faith in the other. I really did this because I believed it was for the better. I would have lost my mind back there if I hadn't and you wouldn't have the things your humanity deep down needs. I love you, but please...I don't want to have to hurt you. And I would have if I didn't walk out to release what I needed to." He closed his eyes, he was tired, he was tired of trying to make someone he loved happy and forget about his happiness in the process. He might be an animal but he didn't think or act like one all the time. "I won't ever leave you...I don't think I could if I tried...I'd worry too much." A beat. "I'd miss you too much."

Astarte did not fight Sam as he carried her inside, she did resist the pills because she knew they would do nothing but was too depressed to put up much of a fight and reluctantly swallowed them. She did however enjoy the taste of the apple juice and licked at her lips until Sam joined her under the blankets, it was his warmth and kindness that calmed her not the human medication. He cleaned her wounds and spoke wisdom that she had long since surrendered from her many decades in Hell.

"I'm so sorry Sam," she spoke softly, a single tear sliding from her dark jade eye and across her face as she stared into the flames, "I can't help being what I am." She turned her head back to face him her eyes falling to his lips. "And I know you can't either."

She loved him for that despite her temper towards his actions. She loved him for so much and couldn't bear the thought of being parted from him for long, it made her feel empty and cold. Her only desire was to make Sam whole and she had done that, at the cost of forcing him down a path he had been unwilling to take. However much a beast he may be she could not strip him of his humanity, but animals themselves were not such cruel and mindless things. Many were capable of affection and kindness, they just also understood life in more simple ways.

Sam didn't like to lose control anymore than Astarte did and when his position was questioned he enforced it with brute strength and the power of his will. In that way he was no different than she, the only variation was method. Nuzzling under Sam's chin she breathed him in as she rested a hand on his chest between them, she could hear his heartbeat but she wanted to feel it like she used to when they would lay together. He still smelled like sun and earth with a hint of spice and with the freshness from the rain outside.

"I missed you while I was gone."

Opening his eyes he met hers. "You were never really gone. Some part of you was always with me. No matter how much I didn't understand and was scared. But you were never gone, not to me at least. Now shh, you'll ruin the moment," Sam said, a slight smile crept at the corners of his mouth as he kissed her on the forehead and then a brief one on her lips before closing his eyes again. It had been a long day, emotionally and physically. "Sleep. And don't even think about sneaking out of my arms...I'll know and I'll drag your ass back into them." A hint of light sarcasm but hard truth was in those words before he let himself be pulled under to dream.

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**June 18, 2009**

Astarte paced in front of the fireplace, Sam's shirt open and hiding nothing as it lifted lightly out behind her. Tongues of flame chased after her, when she went left they went left, when she turned right they followed as if they were drawn to her by some invisible force. Each day she was regaining her strength more in part to taking in Sam's blood in growing quantities, today Sam was resting on the couch from the drain, still his powers were exceptional Astarte could feel it humming off of him even while he slept. She had watched him quietly for his first two hours of sleep, then she set about pacing in between him and the fire, struggling with her need to go out and hunt because there was nothing else in the cabin she wanted to eat and pacing in frustration for enduring the limitations of her weakened condition for this long.

One key worry lay in her current inability to sense and track Dean, she had been keeping tabs on him since her return as well as Sam whom she was putting through the psychological wringer. Without being in direct contact with Dean Astarte could still sense that something was not right, an itchy feeling of dread had her on edge and anxious to leave the cabin to find a way of locating him. Astarte had said nothing more on Sam having gone to the gas station, she might have attacked those people and killed all of them but it was the store clerk that had seen Sam and remained alive, either demon or angel could use that person to track them down.

That is why Astarte had set up base protections like blood sigils and other rudimentary spell work that prevented angels and demons from pinpointing their exact location. Demons she could handle, probably angels as well to a point given her current lack of power and protecting Sam, she could do any of those but to do all three simultaneously with how she was at present would be impossible and dangerous. It angered her but she understood beyond all others that this was how it had to be for now and that was before Sam drilled it into her brain. And she had promised Sam she would not leave, he had to understand that she was as restless as he, she longed to see Dean again no matter how it might terrify him and she longed to put her will into motion. Instead she was holed up in some cabin while Lucifer was gaining ground.

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**June 18, 2009**

**Petersburg, Nebraska**

**5:47AM**

Today was the day. Leon had been waiting, letting Dean following Alex who was tugging the leash teasingly from a few towns away but always the same state. She wanted to make sure that Dean was still on her trail naturally and to do that she had to do a little give and take. Leon knew how she worked even if she liked to believe he didn't know her all that well. It was the matter of making sure that Dean got out of the motel and left the damn mongrel behind. Of course he would have preferred to maybe kick it unconscious or kill it but some may have thought that he was sentimental deciding to not harm or rid of life of the dog. Nope, in entirety he knew what was humming around it, magick and he did not want that triggered in any way and he knew it was protected. No way of doing anything besides leaving anyways.

Leon had made sure that Dean got his rest before signaling a false urination and extreme hunger. The initial thought on replay was 'be right back, will be right back, Sorcha can sleep in. Been a tough week, she deserves it'. Even giving thought for Dean to tell Sorcha to stay when she had heard Dean move around. He could have laughed he believed he was so smart and witty. Once the door shut and Dean locked it, the car was occupied and it was time to locate food. That was when he made his move.

_"Ah, alone at last."_

Feeling inside the hunter's body the car swerve from the startle and the want to turn around or stop, Leon took some control, he wasn't about to fully branch out. He was still learning and talking to the subject being learned was key. He made sure Dean's foot stayed on the gas and hands remained on the wheel. Otherwise Dean was free to move his head, talk, blink, breathe, think and get comfy.

_"No. No going back. Why do you think you never removed your duffel from the trunk before sleeping Dean? Come on, you know who it is. Starts with an L and I'm a whole lot of_ fun_."_

"Son of a bitch!" Dean glared into the rearview mirror at his own face that was somehow different to him now, the same nose, lips and jaw but there was a twinkle in his eyes that was alien. Gritting his jaw all his muscles tightened for naught, Leon had enough control to stop him from doing anything he didn't want him to do. "Get out of my head you freak!"

He shot another deadly glare at the mirror then returned his baleful gaze to the road ahead, Leon would only let him drive straight so that was what he would do while he thought. Admittedly Dean was surprised that Leon hadn't tried to force him to kill Sorcha, after all the dog must have been an annoyance to the demons plans, which was why she was ditched. A cruel chuckle followed by a hard yet cocky grin had Dean shaking his head at Leon, he knew exactly why the demon hadn't tried to touch the dog.

Von had done good by Sorcha, not that it was ever tried but he doubted that much would be able to kill the canine with all the magickal protection it had on it. Sorcha probably had a few booby traps on her too for whatever bastard tried to mess with her. Again Dean tried to move on his own, turn the car around but with no luck, the car didn't even so much as jerk to the left which made the hunter all the more furious.

He chuckled heartily, the sound actually rising through Dean's mouth to make the hunter feel uncomfortable before he resorted back to speaking and residing in the mind while he held the force on the limbs. _"That's physically impossible Dean. Think what prevents demons from coming in and out. You wouldn't have the time to exorcise me even if you attempted such a thing and I have control over whatever I want currently so then you can't rid of me before we find Alex. You really are not the smart one when it comes to figuring things out. I have picked up on that and Alex will mention that no doubt when we do officially get her. Realize this, I only you needed you to get me this far before making myself known."_

With a smoky tendril he poked at Dean's brain with a grin, watching the struggle to not flinch at it as he decided to give a good stretch inside the hunter.

_"Mm...silky smooth."_

The control on Dean's foot pressed harder, they needed to get to the location Leon had a feeling Alex was. From the pattern they had been following the Winchester hadn't picked up on it like he had. Alex moved a certain number of towns ahead, deviating from low number to high number. Always the same low and high. The current location was Randolph, Nebraska. Best estimation and he had a feeling he was right. But when they got there they would have to continue on, she would be moving and they would be minutes behind. The math was there. Leon's plan was unfolding, get closer, take over and keep Dean viewing at all times to know what was going on and what Leon was doing with his body...scout Alex out and finally...well he believed that was the best surprise of all.

_"Keep driving. We stop only when your sexy G.I. Joe meat suit needs the necessities,"_ Leon thought, stroking that small part below within.

"Fuck," Dean bit out, his right leg jerking up only to stomp back down on the gas, "I swear to fucking God, you keep touching me there and I will find a way to crash us," he threatened with a snarl. This was not a position he wanted to be in, possessed by a demon who not only had an obsession with Alex for being his maker but also a keen interest in Dean because he was a sick twisted bastard. He was being groped from the inside, which was as disturbing as it sounded and threatening to wreck his beautiful Baby, this was not a good day.

_"God's not here right now and the only way you are going to find on doing anything with your body is if you turn when I tell you to, we should be arriving soon, what will be an hour and a half drive will become less. If we get pulled over I'm sure you can handle them."_ Leon grinned, he could also handle them as well but he'd much rather force Dean to tear out the entrails personally.

Dean didn't like the tone in Leon's voice at the end, the hidden glee as to how any authoritative obstacles will be handled, he knew exactly how demons dealt with those kinds of inconveniences. He followed Leon's directions to the letter, or rather his body obeyed Leon's commands without question as much as Dean attempted to wrest control from him. "What do you think is gonna happen to you once Alex finds out you're riding my meat, huh? She's gonna chew you up and spit you out." Dean turned the corner sharply, the Impala taking the turn like a champ as it roared down the street. Dean prayed the cops were too busy stuffing their faces with donuts and coffee to be out checking for speeders.

As if he was in a chair inside Dean he leaned forward, _"Now that is what the two of you would think as well as others. You see...there are things that many don't know about me, the skills I have that Alex never gave me."_ The foot on the pedal pressed down harder, dangerously hard and he made sure Dean's head moved to the rearview to look into his eyes, see that glint that was Leon while Leon knew they weren't going to crash but Dean didn't. _"She won't know I'm coming. I wasn't done with her when Lucifer decided it was time for his monkey plan to live on earth once more. Besides, I have one weapon that you don't...well you won't know the full ingredients...I have spent time figuring out the perfect chemical against her, what she is. That is how I'll weaken her. Every demon, Alex...they believe that I'm just some pupil, trained and feared by simple moves."_

Leon paused the radio switching back and forth between stations, words being plucked from each one to create sickening and terrifying sentences involving blood and torture.

_"I've evolved Dean. Enough to damage our precious Alex. Enough to damage the both of you and those connected to you."_ He allowed Dean's head to go back to the main road and let the foot lessen on the gas but they were still speeding along.

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**Randolph, Nebraska**

**6:45AM**

Dean didn't know where Leon was making him drive to until they turned into Randolph and started driving around the town instead of passing through it. So Alex was around here somewhere or they either just missed her. Dean didn't want to acknowledge Leon anymore but the demon kept internally poking at him, which was making him irritable. One would not think there was a level above the level of irritation Dean was at now but there was.

He tried not to worry about how powerful Leon might be how much better was he now then when Alex had left him to wreak his own havoc because he knew Leon would be able to hear it and feel it. No thought was private while Leon was digging around inside his head but Dean was human and not a computer he couldn't stop thinking certain thoughts. Like how he was going to strangle Leon and gut him like a fish if he ever had a chance.

_"Like you'd ever get that chance, by the time I'm done riding you Dean, you'll need intensive care and psychological help."_ Leon had Dean continue driving, they weren't stopping, Leon could tell that something had already been done here by a certain air in the town. Death. _"She's not here, we keep going. Next stop she'll probably take Laurel after skipping Belden. That's what we will do."_


	13. Chapter 13

**Warning:**** FULL story Rated M for language, sex and violence. **

**Note: ****If you are bothered by any of this, we are not at fault for your choice to read this and to have continued to read this. Enjoy!**

**Laurel, Nebraska**

**7:10AM**

Alex was getting bored. Cassie no longer amused her so she had found a place on top of a few buildings covered in shade by a tree. Easy escape for her while Cassie was bound, naked, beaten, and bloody, barely recognizable to those who would love and know her. The brunette made sure the woman was carefully balanced on the edge. "Why are you doing this?" Cassie inquired.

She hadn't even realized she wasn't paying attention to the woman she was about to kill but instead the sounds of cars below going to run errands, to drop off children wherever they had to go. Cell phones beeping, people talking, bells to shops chiming and then her voice cut through it all. Blinking and settling on the female Alex didn't answer, she simply released the rope with a slight push and let the body fall screaming to the concrete below. Alex turned and began to walk away. Sure she could have come up with an amazing and genius grotesque way to have Dean find her but sometimes simple was the way to go. Especially when it was the woman that he had once loved and no doubt still loved in some way.

Climbing down the fire escape in back she made her way soundlessly towards the motel a few blocks down. She had abandoned her vehicle and upon entering the motel room she needed to sleep. She'd stay here until Dean caught up, for now Alex wasn't even positive if she wanted to move on before he arrived or right before he did. Boredom had encased her and the only way to solve for that was to confront the one thing...the one person that would give her the fun she longed for.

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**7:30AM**

Deanfollowed the sounds of sirens like bread crumbs, his stomach tightening with doom while Leon laughed inside the sound tickling up the hunter's throat, Dean didn't know how he knew but those sirens were because of Alex. And that meant she wasn't dragging Cassie around as a prisoner anymore. Lights flashed in the dim light of morning, red and blues bruising the sky with a pulsing harshness, the air was filled with people still screaming at the sight, shouts and hushed whispers of people who didn't know how to whisper at all. Some say she jumped, others said she was pushed, the police told everyone not to get their noses where they didn't belong. But people would be people.

What was on the ground couldn't be said to be a person anymore, splattered and mangled with ratty tangled clumps of black curly hair where there used to be a face like a bird had flown into a window and crashed to the ground except less a bird and more an insect. Everyone had their own theory, only Dean and Leon knew what had happened, Dean recognized the messy corpse instantly and was forced to stand there and stare at her while tears burned his eyes red and vomit washed up his throat and over his tongue. He wouldn't have ran, all he longed to do right now was stagger to an empty alleyway and spill his stomach's contents on the filthy asphalt instead his body struggled to revolt with the demon inside of him.

Swallowing down the bile and half digested-whatever that was in his mouth he somehow managed to slam his eyes shut to block out the sight of Cassie's broken form on the pavement. A tremor ran down his body undetectable to those around him, he wanted to leave, he couldn't stand this it was killing him, tearing away whatever he had left inside. But he refused to beg Leon to allow him to leave as much as he wanted to, to plead for some reason, please let me go he wanted to say in a desperately human way. Instead he kept his mouth and mind shut to the expression even as his eyes were snapped open against his will and the image was burned into his brain.

He wanted the hunter to see this. Leon knew what this message was to Dean. Alex had sent it to say she was done playing cat and mouse, this was the final puzzle to finding her and he grinned, laughing inside at the body on the pavement. Another reason he wanted it to be seen to Dean was because it was another jab he liked to point out. _"She did it simple for this woman you loved because she was jealous. Now call me what you will, but I won't be blind to admit that I'm doing what I am for the same reason. To send the same message. No one she cared about or still does in some infinitesimal way, is safe anymore, that I can use them to get to her. I think you've been able to have control far enough, now it's time for you to be a viewer Dean, it's my turn to fully maneuver this body of yours."_

The demon stretched out so fast that before Dean could even shout or find a way to react, Dean was shoved into that corner that Leon had nestled in. Leon would not allow the hunter to sit back and wallow within; he wanted everything to be seen. Unlike other demons, he preferred this style of possession. It was worth it and it was entertaining. Leon noticed how different walking was with Dean's bow-legged stride, heading in the general direction to where a viable exit off the roof would be noticed by only those who truly looked. There was a hum to Dean he now felt and it was that power he held within from whatever Astarte had done to him in Hell. Healing. And then there was that lovely darkness he scraped the surface of, waiting to be tapped into. He'd let that unwind by itself, one small screw from being set free.

Leon kept walking, there had to be a place that their dear Alex had gone, looking all around to take in the sights, he stopped and observed a nice bar with a small parking lot. She would come here, just to see if her killing Cassie had done anything and if there was a chance that Dean would show up. He'd take her before she even stepped into the bar, when she was all alone in the parking lot. First, he needed supplies to weaken his creator, so Leon headed to the market across the street.

888

**Bear's Den Parking Lot**

**9:57PM**

The nap turned more into a long rest. She hadn't expected to sleep practically the whole day, Hell she didn't even realize that she needed it. Going on all pistons and she hadn't stopped to think what her body truly needed. One of those things was liquor and the other was sex currently. So as she arrived at the bar, she could have gone to the other one right across but decided might try this one first. As she had begun to walk through the alley to get to the backdoor, she didn't want the front guy to know who she was in case she needed an exit route.

He watched her walk by where he was hidden in the shadows, she wouldn't sense him there because she wasn't thinking straight entirely. She was focused on two things which was perfect for Leon. Making sure no one could see him, he moved out and walked up behind her, when she was about to turn around and he felt her mojo flare up to defend he injected the serum into her bloodstream. Alex's body slumped into him as he swung her into his arms. Unconscious for now but only enough time for him to find a nice secluded place to do his dirty work. Grinning as he began to walk out of the alley, pretending to others that it was his girlfriend and she was really drunk, he poked at Dean inside.

_Look how beautiful and slutty she looks while she's drugged. Wait till you see what I'm going to do with her._

888

Waking up was a bitch. What had happened? Who the fuck was trying to get her? Was it Dean? And when her eyes managed to open she was somewhere she wasn't sure of. On a bed, with a blur standing in front of her and staring right at her. When her eyes focused she felt too weak to really do much and to move her arms and legs she knew they were bound. Handcuffed no doubt. Relaxing, tilting her head to stare at the hunter she couldn't help but grin. "So if it isn't the great Dean Winchester. Finally caught up to me didn't ya?" Alex laughed a little and sighed, examining him up and down he looked different, like he had been put through a lot. Good. "Did you have as much fun as I did?"

Leon smirked and crawled over her onto the bed, pressing his lower half to hers just right, hands at either side of her head. He was going to screw the plan of putting what he learned about Dean to act like him out the window. No, he was going to use what he gained to his advantage but no pretending. "Then you got bored, so what happened there?"

Alex was confused, this was not how she expected Dean to be acting when she saw him again. Where was the disgust? Where was the fear? Where was the judgmental remarks spewing out of his fucking mouth hovering over hers? She wasn't going to let his tactics get to her...not entirely. "Stopped enjoying it, but apparently you enjoyed it way more than I thought. I ask the same question in return...what happened there?"

She was playing a game with him, oh how Leon loved games. Leon brought lips to hers, tasting her, feeling the confusion, seeing it as his eyes remained open. He had never truly kissed his creator before and now that he got the chance it was amazing, she was all he dreamed of and more in that kiss. Yet the more was yet to be revealed. Separating he couldn't wait to see her reaction to him now. Eyes rolling black, he straddled her waist, sitting up and letting his hands roam over her body in the blue bikini top with ribbons and fishnets hiding small amounts of flesh.

"Get out of him." Alex nearly growled the words, trying to find a way to extract the demon from Dean's body with her abilities she found she couldn't, her eyes blinked fast from the fuzziness it caused from the effort. "Who are you? Why are you possessing him?"

"_Why_ do _you_ care? But to answer your question anyways, it's me sweet pea. La-la-Leon. Oh don't act so surprised it's me out of all the demons on this earth and residing in Hell. I wasn't finished with you lover."

"We were never lovers."

"Precisely!"

Thinking she hardened her eyes and she swallowed, trying to find Dean somewhere in the black orbs staring at her before they drifted to the green with flecks of hazel and gold. "You escaped Hell just to fuck me? Because I wouldn't fuck you at all? Wow, that's pretty stupid for a demon and that's pretty human from you Leon. Jealous much, especially with the object of choice to get to me."

His hand snapped out and a crack filled the room, fire blazed through her cheek and she knew in some weird way she didn't know how it was actually burning without a flame. He shouldn't have been able to do that. Fuck he wasn't even supposed to be able to leave Hell and yet he did. Alex felt his fingers pinch her chin to turn her face back to his. "I came here to ruin your time. Your fun. My fun was never taken into account with you. You are a fucking tease, one dirty fucked up whore who will ride everyone with a dick and pussy but not your pupil. Normally that's insult if you have paid attention to other high demons and their pupils." When she went to open her mouth he poured draining fluid inside, watching her choke and try not to swallow any he allowed her to turn her head to spit it all out. "I not only get to fuck you Alex, but I get to hurt you in ways that you have never imagined. And the fact is..." he leaned in to whisper in her ear as the free hand that wasn't holding the bottle he had grabbed from the night stand trailed under her bikini top to cup the plump globe. "I don't need to use any weapons. On either of you."

Possession. Dean was well versed in its theory and definition, not its mechanics and practical application. He had never been possessed before, now he could relate perfectly with Sam on the matter but he would never tell Sam how it felt if he made it out of this alive and if he ever saw Sam again. The worst was when he tried to fight his way out, he might as well have been thrashing and screaming inside of a blank room every sound and action was swallowed up into nothing. Shoved into a small corner like some forgotten toy Dean tried to devise a way to get out while he was made to watch and feel his body straddle Alex, watch her spit out the drain cleaner and smell the acrid poison on her breath.

"No! Stop it, I'll fucking kill you Leon!" Dean hurled himself at the wall, with nothing to use he had to make due with his own body, trying to stretch out only to collapse back inwards. He wasn't a demon, he didn't have the knack they had for taking over a body but that wasn't going to stop him from trying to take back his.

Alex hated this. Normally she would never show her discomfort but as Leon was using Dean to feel her up she hated that he was doing this. That he was touching her and at the same time Dean was. She thought that maybe when she saw Dean again she'd have nothing there but how could she fool herself? There were still feelings and she hated that to a high degree. Leon had washed her mouth out so he couldn't taste the acrid liquid he had poured in there before he decided it was time to tear into her clothes and shed some of the ones that his body was wearing. Turning her head away she was annoyed and trying not to look at him at the same time, fearing that something would betray her. But when he went to enter without any sign of foreplay she winced. Tight and then also wincing from the feel of Dean's body inside and against hers after so long. This was worse than Hell.

"Get out of me!" she yelled, trying to wriggle away and hit him at the same time.

Leon pushed harder into the hilt and groaning as he did. He heard Dean loud and clear and knew that the moment he was doing what he was doing Dean would be through a mass of pain just as much as Alex was going through emotionally. It made him grin wide and laugh as his mouth moved to her neck to lick up the salty taste of his maker. The problem was that she wasn't really accepting him, she wasn't accepting Dean either but he could tell from the way her body reacted slightly that he accepted the memories. He wanted her to think of only him. Biting down he sent large amounts of electric shocks through her, causing her to arch her back before the feeling of needles took over as if she was an insect.

She was being shown exactly what Leon was capable of and thrusting in and out he forced images into her brain of him above her and not Dean, gliding in and out and when that happened he watched her stomach roll and the look of wanting to vomit come over her. That was not the reaction he wanted but he didn't care, he was getting what he wanted...partially...even if the other part he had to force her love and attention.

888

**June 19, 2009**

**Cabin**

**1:24AM**

Sam awoke feeling slightly off. Sitting up he noticed that Astarte wasn't by him and when he brought his sights up there she was by the fire. Eyes shifting to a magazine nearby he noticed how it wasn't the normal from what he had seen, picking it up to examine it, the more he noticed was off about it. Sure he understood because it was American but flipping through it was not American politics or news...Glancing up at Astarte he tilted his head to the side, turning it over and attention going to the distribution he inhaled with his brows raising a little. Canada. They were no longer in the United States. How did he not notice this before?

_Because I was focused on Astarte and I got angry after that..._

Setting it back down he stood up, stretching as he did and walking over to her. The feeling of something being off wasn't leaving him and he didn't know why. Meeting Astarte's orbs he stood in front and placed his hands on her shoulders. The contact strengthened the feeling. So he was picking it up from her. "What's wrong?"

Astarte tilted her head up, green orbs showing that she had been in deeper thoughts than how they were focused on Sam now. She smiled a little to see that he was up but her soft lips quickly turned to a small thoughtful frown as she failed to reach the same depth in her thoughts from the distraction of Sam. "Just restless...like you," she replied, running her hand up and down his arm, she was ready to feed again but Sam needed to eat to maintain his energy and health. She would wait until he had done so in his own time until then she would continue to meditate on finding her connection to Dean. That she had lost it was troubling her immensely, perhaps more than Lucifer running about unchecked and unchallenged.

He sighed and shook his head; he knew that she wasn't telling him the truth entirely. There was something else and he could feel it through their connection more so than he ever had in the past with it. Which was interesting, meant that they were growing stronger together. Kissing her on the forehead he began to walk towards the kitchen where he had unloaded the food and beverages he had acquired. Picking at random he returned to the couch and motioned for her to sit with him. "After I eat, we'll have a go around. Then you can take a little for food, not as much as you did, but still some. I want you getting stronger and healthier. I know something isn't right, don't tell me no...once you are good and ready to tell me, we'll go and fix it." Sam took a big bite of his sandwich and stuffed some beef jerky in after. Ah, food. So tasty and he could already feel the smile creeping onto his mouth from it.

888

**June 19, 2009**

**Laurel, Nebraska**

**3:12PM**

Her body was sore, it was tired and her mouth felt extremely dry from no water, all there had been was kissing and she tried to stop him on doing that but he managed to pull a different maneuver that he wasn't supposed to be able to do to prevent her from doing that. Breathing, her chest rising and falling while she went to move up to look around only to wince and collapse back into the bed. This was not how she pictured anything to go once she escaped, not at all. Her first plan when she was naive was to find Dean, to just delve into everything that was human and her second plan that she followed through with was have fun with destruction. Killing, sexing it up and torturing, but no. This was a deviation. Leon had gone to take care of Dean by going to the bathroom somewhere, but otherwise she knew he wouldn't be getting food or drinks. He was going to make both of them suffer because she never liked Leon, she never let him fuck her, she never did this...did that...and Dean he was doing it to him no doubt because he actually got to do all of that with her, they had had something and he was jealous.

_Why did I have to get the fucking soul that would turn around on me and torture me out of jealousy? I thought I trained him not to care about those things. But apparently no matter what, you will always feel those things...no matter who you are._

Alex heard the padding of bare feet on the hardwood before he appeared before her. "Come to fuck me to death again?" she asked, her voice rough.

Leon took her by the face and snapped his fingers, the chains undoing and he raised her to fling her into the wall. He said no weapons, this was all him. Moving towards Alex on the ground, he knew she was too weak to do anything currently, but he'd need to do another dose of his concoction before tonight to weaken her further. Taking her hair, he pulled back making her cry out a little before he entered her from behind, pressing her into the dirty wall to be bound there now by Dean's body while he continued to go at her. Deciding to make it exciting he began to press hard around her body bruising and allowing the small picture fixtures to dig into her skin.

_Come on Dean, don't say you aren't getting turned on._

He laughed as he forced shocks into her body to make her writhe and heightening the shocks he finally was able to make her scream for the first time.

Dean hated the feelings running through him, the fucking demon was allowing him to fully experience Alex's rape from his end. Alex had done alot of terrible things but she didn't deserve this, it made the hunter's insides crawl with disgust and loathing and he could do nothing to stop it. He hadn't stopped trying, even screaming the Rituale Romanum at the top of his lungs to no affect, Leon didn't so much as twitch at it. How was he so powerful?

It was only the first day but Dean knew that Leon wouldn't be allowing Dean's body any sustenance just like he was denying Alex the same. No food and no water for however long Leon planned on having this party go on for, which would be the death of both of them. Now more than anything he was praying that Bobby and Cas would find them, hell he was even praying to whoever would listen that Astarte would show up with Sam, anyone just as long as this stopped.

888

**June 22, 2009**

**Laurel, Nebraska**

**6:43PM**

How long had it been? Alex was on the floor, barely able to move, she had been dosed again and again to last her and she was so fucking thirsty and hungry she knew that she was barely hanging on if it wasn't for the fact that Leon had given them a small crumb of food and drink to sustain them for more days. Not much. Exhaling it came out as a rasp, grating on her sandpaper throat and dry slightly cracked lips. She couldn't move and whenever Leon decided to have more fun with her pain would shoot into every part of her, she could only imagine how Dean's body was handling with her pupil.

One thing was for certain and she couldn't believe she was thinking this..._Where is Sam? Where is Bobby? What about Von...Astarte? Where is everyone while we are getting our asses handed to us on a bloody fucked up plate?_

888

It was like flexing muscles that hadn't been used in a while, the stretching of it felt so damn good. She twirled in the pale teal summer dress that Sam had found for her in one of the bedroom wardrobes, Astarte was restored to her former glory, an indefinable but deadly power circulated through every inch of her body. The slightest twitch of a muscle could level an entire city block if she do desired, Lucifer would now have to contend with her. Right now however all her powers went towards searching for Dean, a needle in a haystack some may say but to the Goddess the man outshone all the other people on the planet like beacon in the fog. A torrent of emotions went through her when she locked onto him and immediately she grabbed onto Sam and refused to let go.

"Dean is in grave danger, we must go now!" Without giving Sam much further warning they were gone.

888

The old house trembled down to its foundations, hinges rattled and beams groaned, loose objects fell and shattered or were flung impossibly far every which way. Then the light of a thousand suns filled the space before blinking out just as fast leaving Astarte and Sam standing in the main room of the abandoned house. Astarte let go of Sam's arm and immediately headed off to the right, many smells filled the air, chemicals, blood and sex and other aromas that not even Sam would be able to pick up on. Smells that spirits, souls gave off, fear and pain but beyond the base chemical level that Sam would be able to detect.

The moment Astarte went one way, he went the opposite direction, a familiar smell was drawing him and as he entered one room, he spotted the being on the floor barely conscious. Running to them he turned over, not even caring they were naked, moving the hair out of the face he noticed who it was. Alex. He hadn't seen her in a long time. How did she get out of Hell? What had happened while he was away? Seeing her look into his eyes confused, he watched the lids flutter shut and stay that way before he lifted her up and to the bed for now. She was breathing, she just needed a hospital.

888

It did not take her long to find Dean and she knew instantly what vile creature was inhabiting his body. "Release him," she commanded in her true voice, eyes aglow with phosphorous silver light and the air around her as tense and thick as storm clouds. She felt the demon inside inadvertently quiver under the weight of her power, uncertainty and fear tingled in the air followed by self-destructive cocksure vibe of someone who thought he could out best anything and everything. He was about to pay a very heavy price for the lesson he was about to learn.

Astarte. Right there in front of him, in flesh and bone, looking ready for action and purely delectable and still burned fear into him. Leon swallowed before grinning, he wasn't going to let her get to him, he knew what she had been up to, of course he knew because he always knew things that were going on around him. "No," he replied with a chuckle, splaying his hands to the side he showed the pearly whites. "You're going to have to work to get my planted seed out."

Leon moved his hands forwards and went to fling her, went to send shocks into her at a powerful level only to have her brush it off like a fly on her shoulder. His face almost fell and he backed up towards the small bookcase where he had a blade settled, bringing it out in front he was prepared.

"Come to save your little puppet boy have you? He's not yours Astarte, like you seem to think everything is. Sammy...humans lives...nature...everything. Selfish red queen," he snickered, "Can't even be human enough for the one you supposedly love. Priceless." Running up to her he swung with the blade.

Astarte caught Leon's wrist with ease and held it in the out swung position as she stared at him with a stone cold face. "That may be so, I am no more human than you but I do not wish to control the ones I love but to let them decide what they may." A smile curled at her plump lips as her ethereal orbs bored into his and he recoiled at the sensation of her touch and her gaze. "If you knew as much as you claim to Leon McGreggor then you would know that I know more, and that this precious marble you call Earth is my creation and all the nature within it."

Her free hand ran up Dean's bare chest, Leon spasmed underneath as she pulled at him making his black essence spark and flare violent red, Leon's pain showed up on Dean's face. She could feel Dean inside, barely holding on, a weak and broken man. Astarte wept inside for him, she was very attached to the human since she found him in Hell and it hurt her to see him anywhere other then lulled into peace in her arms, a small respite from the horrors of Hell.

She knew his name. He hadn't heard his name being said before in many, many years. Leon bared his teeth, shaking as he was in pain from what she was doing, grabbing him while in Dean's body and trying to pull him out. "Fuck you, how do you know my name?" he ground out, his other hand going in the direction of her throat but was stopped and he winced, what she was doing was hurting a lot.

Astarte's laugh was a rich and dreadful sound, her fangs showed snow white against pale rose lips. She held both his arms as easy as a babe's, "I know _everything_ about you," she brought him closer so they were almost touching chest to chest, "every little detail." The last was whispered in his ear with a smile lingering in her voice. He had hurt Dean, she would make him suffer. The pain was like nothing felt before, not like heat, or electricity or the sharp pain of being cut or beaten.

Leon nearly melted at those words she whispered but he quickly knew he needed to get away, he fought against her pull, her body close to the one he was wearing and then decided at the last minute that wasn't going to work. Forcing himself as close as possible he pushed them both over onto the floor, when she began to roll them over he continued it. No running away he wasn't a scared little flea she could kill. He wasn't pathetic like the other demons he had heard of and knew had faced her. Leon wouldn't run, he could be scared inside and sure he could try and hide it but he knew she'd see so he rode on that and his cocky side. When they couldn't roll anymore he head butted, sending shocks through his fingers out of more effort.

The Goddess's laughter filled the room, Leon's exertion was downright hilarious to her, but she gave him credit for trying despite his fear of her. Resting her hand on his arm she ceased his movements and any further physical harm to Dean and his body. "This has gone on long enough."

Cupping Dean's face with gentle but strong hands she brought her lips to his. The body jerked and tensed but Leon could not resist Astarte's pull anymore than she allowed him. Red flared under Dean's pale freckled skin one last time as Astarte swallowed the black smoke that was Leon. The black of the demon's eyes peeled back to reveal hazel-green. Astarte pulled back her own eyes becoming forest green and she gazed into Dean's half veiled orbs for the first time in what seemed forever. She kissed him softly one last time, tasting the sweetness of his lips. A single tear tracked down Dean's cheek but he was too weak to speak or move.

"Hush now," she soothed and brought him up to carry him. Appearing in the room where Sam and Alex were she handed Dean to Sam with great care and giving him a silent nod she was gone.

With Astarte gone and Sam left with two bodies that were looking for medical attention he huffed. Rolling up his sleeves and pulling both of them up in a fireman's carry on both shoulders. It was a good thing he was strong enough to do this, that he was now a werewolf, otherwise this would take longer and he wouldn't be able to do this. It was time to find the closest hospital.


	14. Chapter 14

**Warning: FULL story Rated M for language, sex and violence.**

Leon banged and wailed inside of Astarte, he was not meant to be in a body he couldn't control and sure it surprised him when she had kissed him but only enough that he was taken out of the body he had been in. Now they were going fuck knows where and he had no idea, he couldn't see, hear or feel anything. Dormant and blind. "GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

A different place but just as far away was where Astarte arrived to deal with Leon. Spitting him out she forced him to take the shape of a tiny compressed ball that hovered before her. _Why the long face, no fun not having any control?_ she teased with a growl.

_Aw, look who is talking. Sam seems to be rightfully taking up the pants and courting you around like the dog on the leash you had him. A nice welcome mat for him to be kicked around on. I have plenty of control. Whereas you have none precious strawberry shortcake. Screw you and your little pussy teasing around with a fancy dress._

Astarte smirked, _I allow you to see what I want you to see_, and with that she blocked off any chance he had to see inside her head. With a bored sigh she snapped her fingers and sent the demonic ball of hot air into spastic fits of red pulsing light. _Don't be sore over me taking you away from your fun time you pathetically jealous little prick. Are you that much of a child?_ Astarte glared at the ball as little bits smoked off of it leaving Leon fighting to regain his composure. She would tear away every last piece of him as slowly as she wanted and she would not stop at base physical trauma either.

Inside he wailed, coming out nothing human as he hadn't been human for so long. Leon fought her power only to wind up having to catch his breath when she stopped. He hadn't even realized that he had said something, that he had said stop. Staring at her in the only form he could appear in on Earth without a body he glared right back at her, finding himself coughing puffs of black smoke into the air only to be sucked back to retain his shape.

_I'm not the only jealous one Astarte...and no I am not admitting that I am jealous. I reject your speculation and substitute my own. I'm simply mistreated by my creator._

Biting back her laughter Astarte observed quietly. _You were expecting some kind of love and affection?_ She raised a skeptical brow and stepped towards him. Feeling Leon flinch at her approach made her smile like a more experienced lover teasing one who was new to the exploration of sexual appetites. Stroking her fingers over the black orb she fingered a sensitive spot just so. _That's so very sad._

Swallowing a bit from where she was touching a part of him he hardened his face though only she could see it, if anyone else were to look they would only see a black smoky orb. _Don't mock me when you in turn mock yourself,_ he struggled the words out, normally he was the one that seduced, now he was the one being seduced. This was a tad uncomfortable with someone taking his reigns he normally controlled. Clearing his throat, he tried to ignore her touching. _So tell me why spit me out to talk to me after possessing your lovely man strumpet, when you could have killed me? I think we both know what I did intentionally strung your strings too tight._

_I've thought of a better use for you Leon, that is the only reason you are still alive, the moment you lose that usefulness however I will wipe your existence both from the Earth and Hell, not even your dust will remain as a memory. I know you are intrigued by me, enthralled, what if I could give you those things that Alex has denied you?_ Astarte grinned seductively moving her fingers around the smoky black orb, making it quiver and pulse. _You could be mine_, she purred and slipped her middle finger inside of the black mass curling it and slipping it in and out.

She saw Leon bite down on his lip and if he had been in a physical body it would have been hard enough to draw blood, she brought the orb up to her lips her tongue slipping out to lick at the smoke. It must have been so foreign for Leon to feel pleasure without the accompaniment of pain, she knew it caught him off guard because it was never something he had truly experienced before.

He shuddered and let out a groan from her attention. Leon normally wouldn't even think of doing such things, but she spoke like a true business woman. Convincing and knew exactly what to say and do to get him into her arms. _Fine._ A beat. _But I can't stay in this form, I'm no use without a body._ Point brought forth and now he waited while he still tried to recover from what he just experienced.

_Of course_, she withdrew from him slowly and began to walk away to an adjoining part of the massive cave she had brought them to having him follow behind her. _I have something special prepared for you_. With a sweep of her hand small lights illuminated the room to show a body curled up in what appeared to be sleep, the figure was male with well-defined muscles and blonde hair light and fair with naturally dark roots. The face was hidden in the crook of the arm. _Do you recognize it? _she asked with a smile knowing that there was a short moment where he had to think through his memories to place the familiarity of the form resting on the ground.

Did he recognize it? Leon stared before it clicked. It had been a long time since he had seen himself. Like looking into a horrific mirror he brought his attention to hers, his cheek twitched at the realization of what belonging to her meant, what she meant for this to do. He knew very well that to kill demons there was a method of burning their human remains, but for her to find his and make them whole with flesh once more. Only left to be animated once more, only there to be taken and be sewn shut in. It had never been done before but Leon knew things and he knew very well from a source of his what could happen if it was ever experimented, to place a demon once human, back into their old meat suit if it was preserved.

_You can't make me get in there...I won't. You want me to be your slave, I will not stoop that low._

Astarte anticipated his hesitation, any demon who was free to roam would fear being trapped in a body forever unable to travel freely between whatever meat suit they desired. Leon was not accustomed to being controlled, not after Alex set him loose to do as he pleased, what he had yet to realize was that Astarte offered him much if only for the price of his respect and adoration.

_I think you'll find it quit comfortable_, she promised him, _none of your abilities will be tampered with in fact you will ascend your position as demon and be reborn as something greater. I would not have you be a lowly slave as your beloved sister had you be in your life before._

The Goddess knew about Leon's sister, Becca McGreggor, the manipulative incestuous sow that was one of the root causes of Leon's descent and transformation in Hell. She knew it was a sore spot for him but she had no problem poking at it and opening it wide to be examined and ridiculed.

_Don't talk about her!_ Leon snapped, regaining himself before he moved over to the body.

Promising. Great in fact. Still having his abilities but the only downside was not being to leave it. Deciding, he began to move into the body. It was dark. Silent. And his chest hurt, he coughed and cried out from the pain, it was unlike anything he had ever felt. Thumping and the smoke that he used to be stretched out to disappear, becoming the tissue itself, bringing it to life, giving it heat and yet he was still so cold. Why was it so dark? He opened his eyes and saw light, breathing sharply it pained just as much, the breathing became fast and panicked, memories flooded back to him in horrendous amounts, his sister, her death, her boyfriend's death in the same vehicle, it was an accident, but he was jealous. She was only doing this to torture him to prove that he loved her back after he had a possible fiancé that never worked out.

Then it flashed, crossroads, making the deal, dying on the spot by Hellhounds, screaming, pain, and agony. Before that, school, dating, trying to not let their father know that they were in love with each other. It was wrong. He knew it was wrong and yet he had fallen for the seduction his little sister had turned onto him. He was clutching his head and yelling at the top of his lungs, the sounds echoing in the cave before he stopped and glared at Astarte. Standing up his shoulder length hair moved in the movement and he felt strongly that he really had to cut it. Stepping in front of Astarte, pulling her into him and holding he there he glared with his green orbs with flecks of hazel and gold.

"Is this how you know about me? You've been picking my body's dead brain to find this out? You knew I'd remember it all!" he shook her as he yelled at her. "Why are you doing this to me?"

_She gave me a body, she promised many things..._

Leon was angry because he could also feel something else riding within his body, it was a spell, a powerful one, that he was truly bound to be hers. As if he was some dog, like Sam. She didn't trust him and he didn't trust her, he should have known before he went inside that this would happen, that there would be no way out of being hers if he decided to go back on it. Signed, sealed and delivered, Leon packaged for the Goddess.

Astarte narrowed her eyes in a sly grin nowhere near fazed at Leon shaking her and screaming in her face. Grabbing him by his delicate throat she held him at arms length. _Even demons have a subconscious, what reason did I have to dig through a corpse's residual memory when I only had to look into you to see what I wanted?_ _All those repressed memories waiting to resurface, this transition was the necessary step for you to take in order to remember everything you did until you died_. Mercifully she released her grip, he was already trying to cope with all the pain he was experiencing. _This is no less than what you deserve Leon_. Quietly Astarte observed his body as he struggled to regain his breath, _It's a shame Becca never loved you in the way you loved her, as shameful as your attraction was to her it was pure of heart. Becca only exploited what she saw in you to her advantage leading you around on a string, keeping you starved for her love and attention._

Astarte blinked and her eyes were forest green. "But that's the story of your life, isn't it? All you've ever wanted was to have a connection with someone, to be loved and you were willing to do whatever it took to make that happen. It never worked though, did it? Every time you felt as if you fell short because you were inadequate, you never stopped to think the problem lay in them. Now look at what you are, arrogant and petty and still struggling to find acceptance from people who want nothing more from you than to treat you as a slave."

Feelings, he could feel emotions again, tenfold, human emotions...feelings. Leon turned from her, fists clenching with his jaw. Becca did love him, but she did lead him on, she never really told him and nothing ever seemed enough. That was why he had continued to date Haley, that was why he had found someone who loved him back, showed it and then when he was going to propose she broke it off. He never knew why, she only said that it was because he was a pig and a cheater. What did she mean by that? He had never done anything wrong. But Leon had found out why she had received a call from his sister...demons who tortured him in Hell told him all the things that his sister had done to make him hers in every possible way. Then in Hell he became Alex's...it was the same story different relation except Alex never loved him. Not even a little bit.

His muscles loosened and he hated how much Astarte was speaking truth, though he would never admit it, especially her calling him arrogant and petty. Leon faced her and grinned. "Sure, sure. But you aren't any better, wanting acceptance of Sam, his trust and undying love without question. He will never be the full package you desire. You are a tragedy yourself Astarte, it seems you sought out a tragedy to mirror your own playpen." Snapping his fingers his hair was cut short and he was wearing a tailored suit and waistcoat, fixing the tie he placed his hand on her shoulder, finger gliding along her smooth skin as he walked around her eyeing her up and down. He noticed very well that she had given him a once over, he would have stayed naked for the sake of eyes on him, but he was always the fashionable entrepreneur torturing demon so he loved the clothes and theatrics that went along with them. Bringing his lips to her ear he whispered from behind. "So now that you have me and can only get to me in minimal ways, what will you have me do oh damaged and lovely Goddess?"

She knew Leon's cocksure attitude was just a ruse and that inside he was ailing terribly from what she had done to him. If it were Dean or Sam she would have allowed them to keep up the act for their own sakes, but this was Leon and he had hurt Dean, he would not be given a reprieve. Reaching behind she grabbed his balls through his well-tailored suit and squeezed vice tight. "Ah Leon, you're facade will not work on me," she sighed and turned around to face him, she much preferred him naked so she could admire the structure of his frame like she enjoyed doing with Sam.

In seconds the clothes dissolved on the ground, he could summon another suit but right now Astarte wanted to admire her craftsmanship. This remade body was a gift for Leon one of many to show that she would keep her promises to him if he were loyal to her, a high responsibility to ask for considering the demon's track record and his want to be the master of everything around him. But Astarte had faith that he would not fail her and if he did a slow agonizing death was the only thing that awaited him. Withdrawing her nails that had become imbedded in his flesh Astarte licked the specks of blood from her fingertips as she stared into his eyes.

"Nothing that would have you completely regretting your choice to be by my side," she sucked the last of his blood off of her finger and used the moistened digit to play at Leon's left nipple. "I can offer you absolution, revenge against those that betrayed your love and trust."

The sound of those words were like music to his ears. Leon loved and hated the pain that she had given him from grabbing his balls like they were grapes, but he couldn't stop staring at her lick off his blood into her mouth. It was erotic. Sure she could see through him but he was who he was, he wasn't going to let everything show like some care bear. "Well all these things sound fine and dandy...now all that is needed is to seal the deal. A spell might be enough by your standards but to me I like to make it concrete with a little...what I call signature." One finger tapped his lips while the other splayed to the side. He wanted to see if she was willing to give all she promised, give him attention. He was going to do what she wanted, sure with some bitching and stubborn reluctance but that was how he was, he'd get it done. Give Leon a job and he would always return an outstanding job well done.

Astarte brushed her lips against Leon's for the briefest of moments her mouth moving lower to his neck and then to where it sloped to meet his shoulder. That was when she bit down, Leon's reawakened blood flooding into her mouth, she let him slump to his knees before she took too much and killed him.

"Go near Sam or Dean Winchester and I'll kill you, go near any of their contacts or friends and I'll kill you. The same goes if you use any of your own contacts or resources to give any of them a hint or inkling that you're alive. You will keep tabs on Alex, kill her if she gets out of hand but only if it can be done discreetly, she has many enemies it shouldn't be hard. I understand this goes against your theatrical nature but I would be disappointed if that was where all your prowess laid and you were nothing more than a clown," she purred in his ear having been working him the whole time, moistening her hand by dipping her fingers inside herself and collecting her own dewy nectar. "You keep to this and I will reward you, no, I'm not going to fuck you if that's what you're thinking but I will not ignore you either." Her fingers teasingly circled and stroked his head before she wrapped her hand around down to the hilt and back up. "And I know how bad you want to fuck me."

He shuddered, when she had taken his blood it was unlike anything he had experienced and now she working him below which was new all the same. With her words he groaned and he pulled back, one hand going to her face he stared dead into her eyes, showing how much she was right on that part but also saying in those green orbs he understood the rules and he was willing to abide. Fingers pressing into the nape of her neck he pulled her lips to his and he devoured the taste as he felt her influence. It was so new and incredible he wished that he could fuck her but at the same time he was satisfied with the movements of her hand, the slickness of her on his dick and her mouth battling with his. The deal was concrete.

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**June 22, 2009**

**Mercy Medical Hospital, Sioux City, Iowa 10:25PM**

Sam was watching over Dean, his brother was hooked up to an IV for fluids and he was up after a few hours of being on it but couldn't be discharged just yet. There would need to be convincing. So he was watching Dean eat, he had answered questions as to where he had been. The only answer he had given was with Astarte because in reality he had no idea besides Canada where they had been. There wasn't much to talk about but he had given Dean a look to say to not talk about this right now. Not until things were figured out and Astarte was back. She would be able to explain it better than him anyways.

On the drive it hadn't taken long to get to the hospital, it was the matter of trying to get to Bobby's that would take longer than he had the time for with two people needing one. So he had called the elder. He came alone and besides giving Sam a hug and some words about him being an idjit, he heard and continued to watch as Dean and Bobby spoke about Alex. Soon after Bobby had left and exited to go and keep an eye on her. Sam wouldn't have understood the whispered words if he wasn't what he was. He was glad to be with his brother now, he worried about Astarte yes, but he was happy that he was no longer on lock down, that he was free and knowing that Dean was alright. The only problem was now Dean had to figure out how to accept Astarte and what she had done and Sam had to find out all what had happened while he was away. Including the deal with Alex.

Dean was exhausted and sore; his body wasn't healing as fast as he had become accustomed to. Morphine only made his skin itch like a thousand tiny insects were scurrying around in his blood. When he spoke about Alex he didn't say much, only that he had been following her but he would say nothing about Leon possessing him and what he did to her during that. He hated that Sam was watching him eat with a scrutinizing eye, he wasn't some animal at the zoo to be gawked at through a pane of glass. He hated it so much he pushed the rest of his food away, hospital food tasted like lukewarm shit anyway and that was going to be his excuse if anyone asked.

Dean's thoughts were attacking him left, right and center, he tried to gain a grip on something mundane he even tried for something happy but all he could see and feel was what he was doing to Alex and what Leon was saying to him like he was still tucked away in a part of his brain that couldn't be reached. Then his thoughts drifted to Astarte, anger that she had taken Sam and relief that she had returned him, relief that she had rescued him. And then the kiss, sweet and soft and transcendent. Dean became glued to that thought spacing out a little while he did so, it's what kept him from pulling out his hair and going psycho ape shit in the room.

He was staring at the soft yellow wallpaper when Sam's voice flittered into his head, Dean blinked like he was in a dream and turned his head wincing a little at the stiffness in his neck and back. "What?" he rasped.

"I said we should probably discharge the both of you. Won't be easy but it can be done, it'll be better when we are back at Bobby's. Better environment and we can handle things clearer," Sam repeated.

He could practically hear Alex breathing in the other room, hear the heart monitor, the fluids drop in the tube to the IV, smell the anesthesia ready to be injected waiting in the elder's hand. Alex was coming with them against her will and that meant that something had happened to her when she was in Hell. She had become different and whatever Dean had been following her for, meant a whole hell of a lot of bodies and blood. Sam wanted to think that Alex could never do that, but then again he was wrong about what a lot of people would ever do nowadays.

Standing he removed the tray out of Dean's way, "I'll go and see about discharging. You get ready, I'll be listening if you fall or something goes wrong." Going to the door he exited, the main desk was what he needed, he needed one of the doctor's he smelled standing there filing things with the assistant and thankfully it was a woman. A low growl hummed in his chest, it was time to put the moves on to get this done.

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Alex heard the beep. Actually more like beeping. It was very annoying and came after small seconds of silence. Slowly opening her eyes she saw it right in front of her head, turning it from the side to be straight that was when she saw a familiar face. Bobby Singer. Inhaling her eyes just stared at him, no emotion showing, pain rode her entire frame and her abilities couldn't be tapped into to heal them a tiny bit to make it bearable. After all she was still riding Leon's concoction that he had her take everyday. Who knew when it would wear off entirely? She couldn't move to stop the elder if she tried, she wasn't fast enough and even as she raised her hand and glared at him when he injected something into the IV tube, Alex knew she was in for it as the darkness took over once more.

Dean didn't feel safe in the hospital, and as much as he loved Bobby's he doubted it would be much better. His mind was treacherous, stabbing him with images and emotions at every turn that he prayed he was as numb and cold as stone. Nothing would be more perfect if he could only lose the ability to feel. Raw and sore he pulled on his clothes like they were manufactured out of sandpaper. Dean could feel the age in his limbs, the bruises long gone, the cuts and scrapes, the broken bones that healed and never healed quite right, the ripped muscles and snapped tendons. If his thirty-year-old body matched how he felt he would be pushing well beyond sixty with a coffin chained to his foot. Metaphorically, he already had the coffin down pat.

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**Bobby's House  
>South Dakota<br>June 23, 2009  
>2:18PM<strong>

Sam knew that Dean was going through a lot. The drive he had slept while Sam drove the Impala and Bobby had kept an eye on Alex in his own car, her head resting against the window while the anesthesia continued to work in her system. Bobby had made sure to give her a lot to last the drive a little for when they were at his house. They had placed her in the panic room, removed everything and left her tied to a chair in a trap that wasn't the normal, Bobby had to look up something powerful enough to hold her. Apparently Castiel and Meg had been with Bobby, from what Sam had found out. Both were gone now, who knew where but left them to their own devices. Currently Sam resided with the elder in the study while Dean had grabbed a bottle and gone somewhere.

Whatever had happened to cause Dean to not want to be around Alex in the same car, let alone be around her when Sam and Bobby were containing her while she slept, meant that something really bad had happened to his brother. _I hope you are all right Dean._

888

Eyes opening slowly, Alex's head was hung low, hair curtaining her face and half her body as she stared down at her lap. Mouth dry she shifted her eyes side to side to see the chains, ropes and leather straps binding her hands to a chair through the brown strands. Knowing her ankles were in the same position she swallowed, anger riding her and when she slowly brought her head up she noticed something on the floor all around her. Heard turning every which way, it wasn't a Devil's trap...nothing she knew and it mixed in blood and salt. Or some other mineral. It looked to her like Bobby stepped up the learning curve because when it came to things she didn't know she was screwed.

Blue orbs flicked to the metal door. How many times had she been in this room, looking at that thing? Too many it seemed. Analyzing the situation as well as the door frame, finding solutions out of the mess but there was none. Her body felt a little better and judging by the sun, it was the next day. She had been washed and cleaned up, she was wearing clothes that were normal, nothing that she liked, sweat pants, t-shirt and a jacket. Baggy. Sure she had liked it at one point in her life but now she hated it. "Bobby Singer!" she yelled, coughing from her dry mouth and throat, clearing it she glared. "Winchesters! Fucking God damn hunters!"

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The sound of fluttering wings brought Dean's attention up from his bottle; until he locked cold green eyes on the figure he thought it was Castiel. He wasn't able to tell the difference between naive idiot in a trench coat to a douche bag in a suit by the sound just yet but if the angels were going to continue to show up he didn't doubt he'd be better at it in no time. "Trust me, you're the last person I wanted to see too. Look at you all sullen and depressed, drinking your brain cells away, it's sickening, but business is business. Buck up kiddo, your girlfriend and brother screwed things over better than we could have hoped, now it's time to set things right again," Zachariah encouraged with his white collar go get 'em attitude, smiling that smile that Dean wanted to so badly wipe off his face with his fist.

"How did you find me?" Dean tried to sound casual but the rage was there, prickling with every word and vibrating through his body.

Zachariah just smiled down on him like the petty insect he was, nonetheless deciding to humor the man by telling him, it was too priceless to pass up the opportunity to gloat. "God's followers are everywhere Dean, we reached out to the most devout and told them to keep their eyes out for you. After we heard that you were in the hospital it wasn't difficult to find you, naturally we should have thought that you would be here. This slum after all is your sanctuary. Now don't look at me like that, let's put aside our differences and agree on one thing, Lucifer has to be stopped and there's only one thing that can do it. We need you to find the Michael sword Dean, before it's too late."

"Listen to me you junk less shithead, I'm not doing anything for you, so you can go get fucked," Dean bit out and was roughly pulled up to his feet by the angel by the neck of his shirt.

The angel's dull grey eyes glared into Dean's hazel-green orbs, two tempers flaring at one another, "You listen to me and listen well boy..."

Zachariah's threat trailed off into silence an unsettled expression replaced the enraged one on his face, and that soon turned to fear at the sweeping rush of a larger set of wings against the air that only the angel could hear. Dean heard and felt the wind change and with it came the hauntingly familiar aroma of flowers and spices that was mixed just right, it told him exactly what Zachariah was shitting himself over. Releasing Dean, the haughty angel smoothed down his shirt like there was no harm done and backed away, putting Dean in direct sight of the Goddess. She was all she was supposed to be, beautiful like the sky after the storm and as dangerous as the storm that preceded it, all wrath and bloodlust. Dean could almost taste the blood and he swallowed, his thick tongue scraping against the dry roof of his mouth. Astarte had looked at Dean only to see that Zachariah had indeed not harmed him, now her mercurial orbs were solely on Zachariah like a cat waiting for the mouse to move.

"Well, if it isn't the filthy Pagan whore Goddess-"

A loud crack cut the angel's speech off and Zachariah gripped his broken jaw. About to finish the deed Astarte was distracted when Dean shouted, her gaze turned to the human to find two angels grappling him their blades pressing dangerously into vital points on his body. In a flash she was throwing them off Dean killing one with his own weapon he died in an explosion of light that Dean hardly had time to block his eyes from it was so bright. Astarte had taken a good bite out of the second one before impaling him through the throat with his celestial pig sticker. Zachariah was gone, he had used to of his flunkies as a diversion to flee. The coward.

Wiping her mouth and licking off the trace of blood Astarte turned to Dean. "Dean." She sounded relieved and very human in her tone. Closing the distance between them her eyes turned their timid forest green. "Oh Dean," in a purr the words rolled off her tongue in joy and like a cat who was glad for it's master's return Astarte pressed and rubbed herself on Dean in a strange sort of hug.

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Sam moved towards the kitchen door, he heard the commotion and he had sensed Astarte immediately. Her aroma was like caramel on his taste buds. Then he stopped, Dean obviously didn't want to be around him, that was why he had gone outside, to escape everyone in the place. Astarte...maybe she could help. He veered to the basement door. Heading down the stairs he decided to check on the yelling and pissed off Alex Tatiani. Opening the door he leaned against the opening with his arms crossed. "Talking about yourself in that sentence of curses? Since you are a hunter."

Alex glared. "I haven't been a hunter since I fucked you and died." She paused, she wanted to know where Dean was, she wanted to see him and she hated that. Hardening that thought and burning it in her head she tilted her head to the side, eyes roaming around her. "What am I bound in? Nothing can hold me unless you did something witchy. None of you are witches."

"No but your friend Donnie is."

Her attention snapped to him. "Don't you dare mention that slut to me. She's no longer a friend once she fucks someone I..." A beat. "Used to love. Hate him now."

"Sure it's hate? I remember you used to think you hated Dean when we as a gang met up long ago."

"Oh I'm positive." Grinning she was hiding that she was weak. "Where is my rapist anyways? Off moping in a bottle? I'm fine with it if he's worried. Though I love the suffering, just not the kind that Leon caused within your brother. I prefer it made by my hand," Alex voiced.

"If you hate him then why were you so mad when you were talking about Donnie? Listen, you can have the bitchy tough act as long as you want, I do believe that you do hate him in some way, I can smell the truth off your skin, the emotions, but you are also lying. I didn't come down here for this talk...Bobby created it, found something. All you need to know. In the meantime, sit tight. One of us will bring you something to eat and drink."

Alex screamed, anger burning in her eyes as she tried to use her abilities, as she tried to move the chair, her body as much as she could but she was weak. What Leon had done to her every day, given her, who knew how long until it would wear off. The door shutting drowned her out ever so and Sam walked back up the stairs to the main floor. If Astarte could help Dean, maybe she could help Alex. Then again maybe Alex was beyond help at this point, she seemed different, different than when her other half had taken over, different then her old self...Grabbing a beer from the fridge he looked out the window to the yard as he drank. Watching.


	15. Chapter 15

Dean pushed away, Astarte hardly resisted, it was his own damn internal struggle to want to hold her to him. She was soft and warm and all that roiling anger and need to kill had melted away into pure compassion and affection, he wasn't some psychic but he could feel it coming off of her, so simple and innocent when she was anything but. When she was like this he couldn't be afraid of her and realizing it he was shocked, in this moment unlike all the others there wasn't a glimmer of fear in his heart that she was the source of. Still this was all kinds of awkward and some part of his brain was scolding him for it being wrong. So he had to stop the weirdness of the red head rubbing and stroking, hugging and breathing him in.

"Von."

The name was out of his mouth before he had realized. She wasn't Von anymore, not really. Still she responded just the same, Astarte ran her hand one last time across the back of his shoulders and took one step back to look at him, a kind fondness in her eyes. And something else, a glimmer of silver, an emotion that Dean remembered seeing in her unnatural silver-blue eyes when he was in Hell.

"Astarte," he corrected his mistake and took a step back to further distance them, other emotions invading and making it complicated for Dean to choose. Relief, pain, fear, anger, maybe with a hint of lust thrown into the mix. "You left after."

"I took care of him," she stepped forward and Dean stepped back warily, old fears coming to the forefront. "I missed you," she spoke softly, "the angels saved you and I couldn't follow."

"Saved me," Dean snorted bitterly, "yeah, they saved me alright. Two faced douche bags." He looked down at his hand to find it clasped in between Astarte's. Blinking he eased it away, "Don't," the word was barely above a whisper but Astarte responded relaxing her arms at her sides.

She knew in some twisted way Dean missed her too, though he tried very hard never to think about it ever since he came back. It wasn't normal what they had, it wasn't human, and Dean had remembered how to act like a human he wasn't so far gone as to forget completely. She nodded, "Can I sit with you?"

Dean didn't say anything he just turned around and walked back into the rows of cars to find a new spot to sit down in the heat and drink himself blind. Astarte followed quietly behind and when he sat she sat a small distance from him, little blue flowers sprouting around her legs where the pavement was cracked. A couple hours or more went by in silence, Astarte became distracted with tending to the crop of flowers that had grown around her and Dean would gaze at her when she wasn't looking. Astarte or Von, she was different from either one of them and he was the only one, aside from Alex, that had known them both as separate beings. What was he supposed to make of her now, sitting there like a child wasting time playing with flowers like she had all the time in the world?

Everything around them was falling apart and being destroyed.

His insides still felt sick with what he had done, what Leon had done, Dean's plan was to drink so much he couldn't feel anything and he'd likely piss himself as a result of being beyond stone cold drunk. The heat wasn't helping him, even in the shade it was enough to make the back of his shirt stick to him and he was done the warm whiskey he had been drinking. Maybe now it was time to switch to beer. Thing was, would he go into the house to get it, was he that desperate? Or would he let himself rot out in the heat, the closest he had felt since Hell?

"You'll make yourself ill," Astarte said, kneeling next to him and placing a cool hand on his warm brow.

"Leave me alone," he grumbled at her and moved her hand away, gasping when the cool limb found it's way under his shirt, "I said stop!"

"It's difficult for me to," Astarte breathed, her fingers tracing his ribs until Dean grabbed her wrist and pulled her off to the side.

A daring move on his part to be so forceful with her, she wanted to touch but he didn't want to be touched, not after what happened and especially because it was making him feel better when really it shouldn't have been. Stopping again the red head laid down next to him, resting but not sleeping, the Astarte Dean knew didn't need sleep. He watched her for what felt a long time until staying conscious became too much and he passed out against the metallic carcass of an old Ford truck that he had been using for shade. Waiting for only a minute Astarte rose up and took him into her arms, standing upright she took a step back and was gone in a flash.

Appearing in the cool dark of the room with two beds she placed Dean down on the well-worn blankets, untying his boots and pulling off his socks to leave him in the rest. Quietly she watched him, perched on the floor on all fours, listening to his heartbeat and his breathing, observing all the delicate signs of life. Without waiting for Sam to lose against the urge to ascend the steps and enter the room she appeared at the base of the stairs and walked down the hall to the kitchen, only stopping when she had her chest pressed up against Sam's. She rubbed her cheek on his chest affectionately and breathed in his scent, she was very attached to both the Winchester men and though it had been a shorter time she missed Sam as well.

"Thank you," he breathed, closing his eyes and just holding her to him, he loved the feel of her in his arms, against him but not in a sex way just a love way. Cheesy he knew but it was true. Pulling back he looked into her orbs, he wasn't too far separated, she was still against his front but he was looking into her face. "For taking care of him and me. He needs it more than he will let anyone know."

Hearing curses come from through the door and down the stairs to where Alex was cooped up he sighed. When would she ever shut up? Never. Alex was Alex and she would never keep her pipe nailed. There was so much he couldn't do to help right now, he didn't know what to do with Dean, he had gone through demon possession, yeah it wasn't fun and sure he hadn't killed someone like Sam did being possessed but he had raped someone. That someone was fine with it, but the one possessed could never be. He didn't understand. He would never. As for Alex, she was giving him migraines with her yelling while had been watching and waiting, sure only a short time but it was enough to agitate him.

A low growl hummed in his chest and he brought his lips to hers for a small chaste kiss before pulling the bottle of beer he had been working on to his mouth. He needed the alcohol. He hadn't had the luxury of it for so long it seemed and he began to wonder. Would he have any problems with it now that he wasn't chained? That he had accepted and was fully aware of his limitations and strengths? Alcohol should not be a problem and he was curious. A test for another day, or depending on how situations went in the Singer household.

"I don't know what to do. Seems since we came back, everything was in pieces and makes me feel guilty for liking being with you." Seeing a brief look on her face he smiled a little. "You know I'm right. We have to figure things out now and fix things, Dean won't and Bobby needs the help. We have one drunk hunter upstairs in emotional crisis but denies it and a tied up escapee homicidal Anti-Christ on our hands. Cut out for our work." Running a hand down his face he pulled back entirely and leaned his hips against the sink behind him.

"If I go near Alex, I cannot promise that I will not kill her or that we won't blow a crater in the Earth from our fighting", her eyes shimmered silver until they glowed with the phosphorescent light, _her power is growing and though she does not yet realize it her will could destroy everything. Then Lucifer would no longer be our greatest enemy_.

The planet was already being desiccated; Astarte could feel it every hour of every day and in her mind people weren't dying fast enough. The vile, wretched ones at any rate. Lucifer was lollygagging around and taking his sweet time, of course Astarte knew exactly why, he was waiting for Sam to be ready to say yes. He couldn't infest the youngest Winchester with his treacherous holy light if Sam didn't say yes first, so he was readying himself to push at all the soft spots to make Sam think he had no other choice.

Blinking, her eyes returned to their forest green, "Zachariah tried to get to Dean again, and made an attempt to take him by force until I showed up. I doubt he'll try again when I'm around after seeing what I did to his underlings, but if I have to leave neither one of you will be as safe, we'll have to set up better wards and protection than what this house already has."

He nodded, going back to what she had said before Zachariah he opened his mouth. "Well then someone needs to talk to her. Someone needs to help her realize that staying with us is the right move, that helping is better. Who knows what she knows, whether she knows what she really is and with her the way she is now, she could just as easily have already said yes or go looking for him to say yes. Dean won't do anything, Bobby seems unlikely. I can't do this alone you know. She's the fucking Anti-Christ and I'm a hunter that happens to be a wolf. I know you can't promise, but killing her is not an option."

_She's still Alex, she's still my friend, she's still a good person in there. We just have to try and strip away what Hell did to her. If it was done in the past, why can't it be done now?_

Sam stared at Astarte, he knew she heard his thoughts as well as his words. He was the vessel for the devil, Dean was for an archangel. Right now he wished he had Von back because there would be sense that could be broken through on this situation. None of the them could afford to say yes to anything that was world ending. If that meant Lucifer and Michael, that damn well also meant the Anti-Christ and Astarte. No giving up. There had to be a way. Sure he was being practical and he was actually thinking instead of killing or letting shit get in the way of logical.

Finishing the beer he tossed it in the trash can and faced the basement door, his head going in the direction of the stairs that led to the next floor where Dean was and he knew it was going to be a battle in this house. Bobby had said he'd order pizza in two hours and that was an hour ago. By that time they would have to feed Alex, by that time there had to be a plan. No plan and then there would be chaos with the five of them.

_It is an option_, Astarte thought to herself as she watched Sam's back, Alex would never be able to revert to who and what she once was just as Astarte would never be able to revert to the Von that Sam wanted. She wouldn't say, but it made her sad that he felt that way even while she understood, she wasn't what he remembered, what they had now wasn't what he remembered.

"Dean _can't_do anything," she corrected, "he's paralyzed by his emotions, you might have killed a stranger when you were possessed but he raped someone he loved. He is far from ready to face her, especially since she will use that against him." She knew Sam didn't want Dean to be torn down more than he already was. Time might not heal this wound but it would give him time to gather enough of himself together to fake it. Placing a hand on Sam's back she stared up into his eyes. "I won't let you be alone in this Sam, if you need me I will be here, right at your side."

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Sam had changed. He was assertive and an asshole. He knew nothing, he knew nothing of Hell, he didn't know what it was like, know what could be uncovered, what could get to you. Alex had proved herself, she had proved that she was better, that Dean could not surpass. When he left Hell sure he could have done what she did but he didn't, that was the whole thing that separated her from him. "Fuck you Winchesters!"

Alex closed her eyes and tried to gain back her breathing, being angry worked her down to barely anything. Whatever Leon had given her she wanted gone, it was doing too good of a job. He was gone now, somewhere new. Now that she was calming she smelled flowers, exotic and intoxicating. Her lids fluttered open and she slumped in her seat. Astarte. She was here. Groaning she tugged at her arms slowly, she had to get out of there, not that she feared Astarte because she didn't but Alex wanted to avoid a bitch fight.

_As fun as it can be, Astarte tends to be high and mighty in the head. With her light show and bow down to me attitude. Seriously, I know she's a Goddess but I don't fucking give a damn. I'm apparently the fucking Anti-Christ and you don't see me being a...oh wait I am a bitch._

Thinking too much, Alex gave a sound of frustration. She hated to admit it but she was not going to get out of here until she was stronger and the stuff to wear off. "I'm fucked."

888

**June 24, 2009  
>10:00AM<strong>

Sam knew that Astarte was beside him. He was staring up at the ceiling in the bedroom they were sharing and even then he hated wishing to be alone. Astarte stayed true, she was at his side the rest of the day except for a few times to check on Dean while he checked on Alex. Like mother and father on their young. Problem was that he loved her. Why was that such a problem? It blinded him. He put so much faith that just because he knew that they were the same, that Von was Astarte and she held all the memories, emotions and knowledge it wasn't the same. It was not the same as her actually being there, green eyes, normal amounts of abilities and magick.

Sure those days would never be in his hands ever again but he knew how much apart he was growing from Astarte. Since that day that he had barked at her, left her in that cabin, tracked her back down and put her into that cabin to be beside her. Astarte didn't sleep, that was another thing, Sam missed actually watching Von sleep, the sun play out on her freckles. While he had slept he had been thinking, blocking his thoughts from Astarte, that was another thing. He liked it better when he wasn't having someone listen in on that. It was supposed to be private and he had summed up a lot of his energy, being an Alpha and when he was sure that she couldn't hear through their connection he had begun it all.

Realizations. Astarte could never be what he wanted and that would be a big space in between them. For him especially, she had memories of being human, he had actual knowledge, he was still human in ways beyond her comprehension. Sam had begun to think that he couldn't love Astarte. Not off the bat, he had to really know who she was, not love her because he loved Von and Von is part of her. Start all over. There would always be a connection to each other. The words kept bouncing back to him from what Von had said way back. Could he handle Astarte when she took over? Yes, but there was much more that was confusing him. Screwing up the equation.

Standing up Sam didn't speak, he just moved towards the bedroom door, past the door to where his brother was, down the stairs, to the back door and outside. Removing his shirt in one fluid motion, undoing his pants he was soon shifting and running. He needed to think more, he needed to run around, explore the area safely and find where the wards were. He'd meet Astarte there after he was done doing his own thing to help with putting up the protections, making them stronger.

_I need more time to myself. My relationship with Von ended the day I left her in that motel room and betrayed her...it ended the day she died. I've held on and I need to let her go._ As he ran the small droplets of salty water shimmered from his amber orbs, soaking into his fur. _And after many months...I still can't._

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Astarte remained still as Sam left the bed and then the house, his thoughts were vague pigments but she could tell he needed some alone time. She knew where he was but would not bother him unless he needed her assistance. Rising from the bed she walked the short distance to Dean's room, he was sleeping in after she had woken him for some food several hours before. Sitting lightly on the edge of the bed Astarte tilted her head to the side with a small smile on her lips thinking how Dean would find it creepy as hell that she was watching him like this. His expression certainly caught that sentiment when he awoke to find her there but he steeled his expression with a muttered grumble of words and sat up to not feel so vulnerable.

There was a pause of silence then Dean spoke, "What are you doing here, I mean why aren't you out there smiting the crap out of people, burning down cities and slaughtering demons?"

Astarte took the question to heart; the conundrum had troubled her since she had returned to Earth from the pits of Hell. "I don't know," she answered with all sincerity.

Dean studied her face in the shadowy light and saw how lost she must have felt, he'd be damned but he felt some sympathy for her. Hell even for a Goddess that reveled in blood and mayhem such as her still had an impact and she had forgotten about all the things she knew and loved. There was still a blue sky up there and clouds to watch, rain and thunder and trees and meadows but Dean knew how different it had to be for her, she had been trapped for centuries and much that she loved and cherished had been destroyed. It didn't make it right but Dean understood why Astarte hated humans the way she did. She had been brutally betrayed.

"I think because I want to be with you. You're the only thing I remember from here and down there, Dean. The only constant and I want to be close to that."

"You have Sam, he loves you," Dean replied in an attempt to console the Goddess.

Astarte shook her head, "He only loves Von, not who and what I am."

She didn't have to read thoughts to know they had been drifting, Sam had looked at her with different eyes the moment he realized how much she had changed. He looked at her like he was trying to see a familiar face through a stranger. Dean didn't know what else he could say, he wasn't anywhere good at comforting peoples broken hearts and he lacked the energy to joke the pain away. So they sat for another moment, long and silent as each grudgingly delved into their own secret thoughts. The hunter was trying to come to terms with all the rampant emotions crowding inside of his head, but he was too weary and let them all jam in at the same time into a muddle of numbness that left him strained and weak.

888

Alex awoke to footsteps that were heavy, heading somewhere with a purpose, a door opening and shutting with the same effort and she glared with tired eyes at the door. Sure, she could have kept being annoying last night but she had learned from when she had been locked down here before. It didn't work. They found ways to tune out and after she realized what she did that she wasn't going anywhere just yet, she silenced. Eaten her food when Sam had given it to her, she didn't even speak to him, no snide comments, nothing more to say. He didn't speak either. He was thinking. Alex knew the signs and she heard things that floated through the vents in the home.

_Looks like someone came home to someone who doesn't love them back huh Astarte. Oh that's ripe._

Shaking her hair out of her face, and flipping it to go down her back she actually let out a yelp of pain from the action. Biting her bottom lip she didn't know how she looked. Probably like shit, bruised and battered. At least Leon gave Dean a better chance. She got more of the physicals. Bringing her attention to her hands she looked, really looked, she was lacking fluids for her veins to not be showing up in the places she knew of in her hands. Licking her lips she hated how much her ass hurt from sitting in the chair for so long. In movies they never showed how much it messed up the tied up persons coccyx after long hours, days or months.

"Hello?" she tried, finding the sleep voice not to her liking she swallowed and tried again and louder. "I have to go bathroom!" She paused. "Is it too much to ask to actually be able to do human functions for fuck's sake?"

She wanted to bang on the iron walls, send out a wave of power and when she attempted it she wound up with her mouth open, eyes shut, eyes fluttering underneath and she released a loud sound of pain. It wasn't anything like a scream, it wasn't like a moan or a groan or wail. It was different. Her entire body was blinded with a white light that was not what she had experienced with Astarte. Finally fighting with her lids she opened them, the whites of her eyes showing while the pupil kept being tugged up behind, reversing before settling and shaking in the middle. There before her stood Lucifer. How did he get in?

"I'm not really here Alex. I just came for a visit," he tapped his finger to his temple with a slow creeping smile. "Unlike your pet and unlike anything else. I see that you have found where you would rather be enslaved. Can't use your abilities, can't leave at your will and can't be who you _really_are. If you had said yes and come with me you wouldn't be here Alex Tatiani."

"Stop this."

"Now, now. This is your own fault, you brought this upon yourself. Take credit for your actions. However, if you choose to say yes now, I could find something along my sleeve and you could be out."

"No means no. Not even if the pot you started with is sweetened."

Lucifer smiled and it left, the smile remaining in his orbs. Coming closer he placed his thumb in the middle of her forehead, tilting her head back to look up at the devil's trap. Staring at it she blinked and his wrist was gone from sight, bringing her head back up he was gone, the pain was gone. It was all in her head. Shaking her head to make for certain she snapped it back to the door when footsteps were heard on the stairs. Sure the words of giving her freedom from being tied up, from being in the place with people she knew, that brought memories that nearly killed her. It was stupid to be naive and ignorant now. The more she was in the same place with them, in old surroundings the more painful it was. The more anger grew. The more she didn't want to see anyone. At first she had thought it would be fun, reactions and all that jazz. Wrong...it was torture. It was a Hell she should have been given.

888

After a good run around and throughout he had shifted back, found his clothes and changed into them only to walk around some more. He had time, he had plenty of time and he had to say something to Astarte when he saw her at the wards. He couldn't not say anything. Silence never worked and she would find a way to make him say something whether it be good, bad or sexual. Then again he figured she probably picked something up, he needed to explain some elements that would prevent him from doing things with her that he had been at first after she came back. No sex. No kissing. Not until he knew her better because otherwise he would always think he was kissing and having sex with Von.

There should be no separation with Von and Astarte seeing as how they were the same. Problem was, he couldn't do that. They were so vastly different that he knew he would have to. Von was his past. He couldn't let go and by not letting go entirely he was going to see about Astarte being his present and his future. Sam couldn't say he didn't love Astarte, in a way he did. Just had to delve deeper and find out what he loved her for and that it was her he was loving and not her form. _My brain hurts from all this thinking._

A huff, his attention brought up to a lone car that looked somewhat familiar, it held the scent of Alex from many long months ago but it was still there. Going to the drivers seat with no door he sat, looking around he wondered what drew the brunette female to this very trashed vehicle. Then he saw it the compartment that was trying to be hidden, lifting it he pulled up a box. Within he found everything...pictures of when they were teenagers, some new things that were added as well, even a picture he wasn't sure of. People he didn't know. A man and a woman and a house. The picture was worn and it was obviously abused which meant that it was a bad memory. Then why keep it at all? Not leaving the box behind he decided to carry it with him, looking more through it as he headed in the direction he knew to meet Astarte in.

888

Astarte was already waiting for Sam, her back was to him as she stared out past a rusted Cadillac to the bleak horizon, the sky was clear but rain would come later. She had been thinking about much since she had seen Dean, miraculously she had convinced him to go down get some coffee and talk to Bobby, he was going to collect dust if he chose not to move from the room. Perhaps it wasn't her convincing that had done the trick, but his need to pretend that everything wasn't as serious as it was. Dean had to make sure everyone else was okay even if it was hard on him and especially when he wanted to be the selfish one and receive what he selflessly gave.

Astarte cared deeply about him but she would not alter his memories or perception, what was learned should not be unlearned whatever the collateral damage. She turned at last to face Sam as he approached her, tilting her head to the side in curiosity at the box she didn't recognize she asked, "What's that?"

Sam opened his mouth a crooked smile, he was about to say it was Alex's. Would that anger her? Shaking his head he said it anyways and continued. "Just some knick knacks and photos of old times, don't know how long she's been collecting these...there's even stuff like pictures of my dad, one of us as a family...even you and yours I assume. Makes me wonder why she kept all this and collected it." He stopped in front of her and showed her, smiling at the memories as she picked some up to observe, occasionally flicking his orbs to her face to see if she remembered, if it affected her like he hoped it would. When she picked up the one he had noticed he spoke once more. "I assume from what I found that is Alex's parents."

_They don't seem as horrible as she made them sound. Then again looks are deceiving at times._

Licking his lips and clearing his throat he put the lid back on and tucked it under his arm and to his side to hold it. They had work to do and as they were doing it he was hoping to talk. Thing was he swore from seeing her out here, she sort of..." You know don't you?" he voiced as they walked a little and her silence confirmed it, finally he took her arm and faced her, staring deep into her mercurial orbs, not green. "I do want to get to know you. Just bear with me. Please."

888

**12:03PM**

Astarte hadn't really said anything to him but he didn't expect much. He could have explained it more than he did but why? It would have come out way formal and way cheesy, knowing him. They had finished what they needed to for the perimeter and were now inside the house once more. Sam separated from Astarte as he moved to the basement, who knew the last time anyone checked on her, or if anyone did while he was out with Astarte. Everything was good on the outside, now it was time to fix the inside. Hell, Sam even noticed his brother's voice floating from the study where Bobby was no doubt.

The younger hunter brought down the box he had, hoping that in some way it would help Alex. Maybe his attempts were futile. He stopped just outside, just barely to open the door before he decided against, setting the box down in front of it he turned and headed back up the stairs. He wanted to see his brother.

Astarte was in the study with Bobby and Dean, they had brought up a large table and had a huge map of the continental United States spread out across it, and what could have been other maps were layered underneath. The Goddess faced opposite the eldest hunter, arms in a V and hands braced against the table staring down at the map, she didn't really need a map this was more for the benefit of the humans. To the untrained eye the map was littered with scribbles and lines each as indiscernible as the last, but to the experienced it defined lay lines and hot spots where demons were most active.

Red ink made clear what towns and cities had been attacked and left as smoldering black pits of their former selves. States of emergency were declared, countries accused one another and threatened war, this was no underground guerilla operation. Lucifer wanted everyone at each other's throats but Astarte had no doubt he was also working by more subtle means. Soon there would be no place to hide.

"Lucifer doesn't want a global nuclear holocaust-" Astarte began to explain until she was cut off by Dean, he was either growing braver around her or he just didn't care anymore if she struck him down for his rudeness. Strangely, she did not mind that he had a question, he had not noticed what Bobby and Astarte had.

"How do you know that?" He stood next to the Goddess, her natural scent was as distracting as her energy especially so close but Dean did well to keep focused on the map with all the squiggles.

"Because he would have blasted us to kingdom come already," Bobby answered and Astarte nodded in agreement, it wouldn't have been difficult for the demons to swarm in and take over the military bases and set off all the weapons. Only the exact opposite had happened. "In California most of the military bases have been taken over by demons, they've been disarming the weapons before they can be released."

"Why would he do that?" Dean turned his head to Astarte for an answer, she seemed to have enough of them.

"Maybe he loves this planet like I do, or maybe he wants humanity to suffer instead of wiping them out with a simple push of a button." Her green orbs ticked over Dean's shoulder to Sam who had entered the room. Noticing Astarte distracted Dean turned to see Sam, he was glad he was doing all right considering, at least on the outside he was holding it together better than his older brother.

_Because he didn't rape anybody_... The thought popped into his head and he found he was staring back at the map instead of at Sam. He had to look busy like he was thinking about something else, about what was happening right now with the whole world.

"Well the only way we will find that out is if he outright tells us. Technically in this whole room I'm the only one who has met him. He's not an easy guy to read," Sam voiced, coming up close to look at the map, he observed and now he really understood what he had overheard. "So I guess the main question is, what's the plan? If he's not doing much but a little spreading his fingers out, the only thing he is doing is waiting. We still don't know the situation of Lucifer and the Anti-Christ."

He didn't dare say her name out loud with Dean in the room. Sam could tell instantly when he looked at him and then looked away, the setting in his muscles, Sam was more in tune with it now to know signs. He should be, he hunted enough when they were at that cave and animals did the same thing practically. The one thing that didn't make sense to him was why would Lucifer take over all the bases on the west coast when the convent where he came out was on the east. Then it hit him, the only reason he'd skip over to the other side of the country was because when he went to find Sam that is where Sam was located. By then he had to have had a plan.

There was so much that they had to plan and look at. It was a hard thing to pinpoint where to start first.


	16. Chapter 16

Astarte returned with a strange man who appeared normal enough until he started cursing and his eyes swam black. He was the third one she found and caught to bring back to Bobby's in order to gain information through interrogation. Bobby's house wasn't the appropriate place to torture demons like Dean and Astarte had planned, because they didn't plan doing it neat and clean. It was going to be loud and nasty. Sam and Bobby stayed at the house to review the map and keep an eye on Alex while Dean and Astarte set up their play space. At least that's what Astarte called it, Dean wasn't fond of the name even though he was doing most of the torturing while Astarte stood back only stepping in when needed.

She was not ashamed to admit she enjoyed watching the shadows of hate play over Dean's face while he carved his way through the demon's hide, and the grim satisfaction that he hid so well at causing them pain. Dean was just starting to break the casing of the latest sulfuric son of a bitch when Astarte's sixth sense tingled up her spine with ominous clarity. Stepping into the circle with Dean she killed the demon tied to the chair with the heel of her palm pressed against it's forehead. Opening his mouth he was about to ask what the hell she was thinking when she grabbed his hand.

"We're out of time." In a flash the two of them were in Bobby's study, papers settling from the gust her entrance had caused. At the alarm on Sam and Bobby's faces Astarte explained, letting Dean go to collect his balance. "Something is coming, quickly gather what is most valuable to you, we have to leave. Now!"

In that short time the boys had managed their duffels and Bobby a few of his most prized books, many more had to be gathered but their time was up. A blast like a shockwave hit the house, shattering the windows and blowing everything loose around the room in a whirlwind of paperwork. The house rumbled down to its foundations and a piercing retina melting light flooded in through the windows accompanied by a screeching noise that only Astarte could understand and that was terribly deafening to the others.

"It's an angel," she exclaimed above the din.

"It's Zachariah," Dean assumed, clamping his hands over his ears, the sound was bad enough but now Sam and Sorcha were howling and screaming on top of it.

"No, Zachariah might be stupid but he's not reckless."

If they didn't move the whole house was going to come down on top of them and as it slanted the light and terrible noise dissipated but that was not the end to their problems. A handful of people, possessed by demons had crawled in through the broken windows and ran towards the group some bare handed and some with weapons. Astarte, Sam and Sorcha moved in front to fight them off as they came pouring in, the Goddess's eyes flashing mercurial blue as her power surged forward to strike at the first wave.

_Get Alex and get out of here._

Her voice entered into Bobby's head and he didn't second guess the orders after the ruckus caused the house to creak and shift yet again, drywall and splinters of wood showered down on them from above. Bobby left the others, racing down the now crooked stairs as fast as his old legs could carry him and arriving at the panic room door where a brief moment of hesitation had him cursing himself for thinking about the risks of taking Alex out of the room, leaving her in there could mean her death.

Cranking the locking mechanism he swung the door wide and jogged up to the chair, "Blitzkrieg's about to start, time to leave."

888

The Singer Salvage yard had been turned into a battlefield, Dean had watched Band of Brothers but nothing could prepare him for the intensity of this fight. Sorcha was at his side and they were guarding the only entrance in and out of the dilapidated house, knowing that if there were any way out Bobby would find it. Astarte was off somewhere in the cars, all the screaming made that clear enough. Clumps of dirt blew up into the air like bombshells dropping from fighter jets; body parts flew here and there in tiny formless fragments of what they used to be. The cars were being used as weapons on both sides, with Astarte having the obvious power advantage; shrapnel sprayed everywhere digging clefts into the ground and straight through the concrete.

Dean became distracted with making sure he wasn't impaled by a fender that he did not see the three demons coming up on his left. Sorcha sounded the alarm as one leaped on top of Dean intending to grapple him to the ground only to find the hunter had buried Von's old knife in her chest and was twisting it around. It hurt too much to scream and her vital fluids trickled over Dean's hand before he pushed her aside to take care of the other two.

888

Sam had shifted, he was baring his teeth, tearing into whatever came his way or even thought of touching the others. Pouncing on many, not caring for the screams or words they spat at him, Sam flung many towards Astarte working with her when ganged up by too many on before he could do his own thing. They just kept coming and after the first wave, the more they came the more a pit grew in Sam's stomach, this was not right. He just didn't know why it wasn't.

888

Alex watched as he untied her and even broke what was containing her on the floor, she still wanted to know what it was but apparently she wouldn't get the chance. As she went to stand she nearly fell, a little thankful that Bobby caught her and she looked at him as he tried to hurry her out of the panic room and up the stairs. "Didn't put the wards as strong as you thought huh old man?" Alex scoffed, stumbling on the step she glared at him, he did that on purpose and she knew it. "Fuck you, it's true."

"Wasn't expecting an angel to drop an A-bomb on us," Bobby answered gruffly.

The ground shook beneath them, vibrating in the after wake of what could have been an actual bomb for all Bobby's knowledge. His home had been turned into a war zone and he was loath to leave it but it was either escape to fight another day or stay and die. Bobby had no notion on dying just yet.

Allowing the hunter to lead them out once they got to the main floor, Alex helped with look out. Honestly she didn't want to get into anything with other demons, she hated them as much as the others and her luck they knew about Lucifer wanting her. Finding a way to go where they could get to a working car, she tried to hurry with him, it wasn't her fault what had been pumped into her. Sure she wasn't happy about being with Bobby right now, he brought up too many memories for her just being close to him. Just as they were getting closer that was when things went to Hell for them.

Alex went one direction and Bobby the other, not too far but far enough that what did it could be between them. Groaning at the wind that had been knocked out of her, she was grabbed by the back of the neck where the tattoo was and lifted up. There was no way she could see who had her with how they had her and yet she froze. Brown hair with a small red tint barely noticeable with the light lacking a bit, up in a tight bun, red lipstick on a close mouth smile, muted green eyes, black from head to toe..."Mom."

Peoria acknowledged her daughter's reaction to seeing her as she looked back into her husband Rodfeld's blue eyes, compared to Alex she did look more like her father with the richer hair color. Turning to face the hunter on the ground that managed to pull a gun out and stand. "You're the one that turned Alex into a hunter. Heard much about you Bobby Singer."

"Bobby!" Dean shouted, shoving the last demon in the neck with Von's knife and breaking into a staggered run towards the elderly hunter who was in trouble.

The yard was a regular war zone, and shortly after Dean skidded to a halt at the sight of two demons one in possession of Alex an explosion blasted huge chunks of earth and scrap metal into the air hardly thirty feet away. It made Dean's shoulders bunch up around his ears to block out the sound and hunch up further when the dirt showered down on them in heavy bits of soil and rock. The quaint little showdown the six of them were having wasn't going to last when the battle shifted their way and by the sounds of it that was going to be soon, Dean was already seeing more possessed bodies roving around in between cars and shadows that had lengthened with the darkening sky of a brewing storm.

Thunder rolled and boomed overhead, dry lightning cascading through the thick clouds like spider webs and striking the ground dangerously close. Dean knew very well the rain clouds were getting a little extra love from Astarte, whose laughter had his heart pounding in his ears. But he couldn't say it was from fear.

"Let them go now," Dean demanded and stepped forward with the knife in hand and Sorcha at his side, baring her fangs with wild blue eyes flashing angrily. As she stepped forward her jaw snapped down viciously with a bark, her black fur bristled and spiked down her spine, in another life she would have made a great hellhound. "Now!" Dean barked at them and Sorcha growled for emphasis.

Then a sound rattled in between the peels of thunder that Dean was not expecting to hear. Gunfire. Rapid gunfire. But what did demons need with guns when they were just as lethal on their own? Or maybe they were desperate to deal the Goddess some damage after their powers and tricks proved useless against her. It was a bad mix.

Seeing Dean was like a nail in the chest. First her parents and now she got to actually see the real Dean not Leon possessing him. This was too much. And Peoria saw that. Peoria raised her brow slightly intrigued by the man ordering them to let Alex and Bobby go. Flinging her hand Bobby went in his direction, almost landing on top of the dog. But she was not going to let Alex leave. "And who do you think you are to tell me to release my daughter to hunters? The very ones that corrupted what she was meant to be years ago."

"Don't hurt them."

Peoria didn't have to look at Alex know those words came from her. She didn't have to look to know that Alex had elbowed Rodfeld in the gut and attempted at running to stand before them. To _protect them_. Curling her fingers inward Alex stopped beside her, she couldn't move if she wanted to. She was weak. So weak. "I thought Alistair straightened you out and look at you Alex, you still would choose them over us. Over your destiny."

Alex glared at her mother but inside fear rode like the very lightning around them. "You know why I choose them? Because they are the lesser evil compared to you two."

Her had snapped to the side, the crack loud enough to be heard surprisingly over the gunfire. Hair being grabbed she was forced to look at the hunters a good ways in front of them. Rodfeld coming up on Alex's other side to grab hold and lock her in between them, he wasn't the leader in this, Peoria always made the decisions. He didn't approve entirely but he knew what had to be done. They were gone in an instant. Blinking Alex found herself in a place she thought she would never see, hoped she would never see or be again. "Welcome home Alex."

"Home?" Alex breathed.

_How on fucking earth was this ever home?_

Alex was walked to the couch and forced in between her two parents as they sat. "What the hell are you doing? You know very well this isn't my home."

"You are right, your home is with Lucifer. We've heard you have denied him twice. I thought we raised you better," Peoria voiced.

"Trained you better that is for sure and yet you still disappoint," Rodfeld added.

What was it? Like some kind of intervention? She didn't want to be there, she didn't want to be near them, she hated them, was scared of them...at least with the others she was safe in some sense. Pathetic attempt to want to help her but she couldn't have anyone find her. How did they find her exactly? She had that tattoo on the back of her neck, took them long enough...Alex began to wonder but knew the answer would not come to her. The world worked in mysterious ways and so did the devil and his lackey's.

"Sorry I'm not the poster child Anti-Christ." Sarcasm dripped heavily while her skin itched to be move and run away.

"You will be. Give it some time with us."

"In the meantime..." Peoria dropped off in her word and a scream erupted from Alex, pain roaring in her back and she bent forward, her father coming around to hold her arms and keep her still while Peoria worked the letter opener through the fabric of her daughters clothes and flesh beneath. It was time to reopen those old memories and old scars.

888

Astarte was having too much fun. Standing on a pile of bodies with her pretty dress drenched in crimson and clinging to her lithe frame she looked like a horrid phantom from the darkest of nightmares. The blood and the screaming, the un-Hellish reality of real slaughter she longed for since she had been trapped was hers at last, and the stupid fools would not stop coming in great swarms. Whatever point they were trying to prove, or the one that sent them was trying to prove was useless in her eyes. Really this benefitted her plan, this was population control of both demons and humans, yet the body count was depressingly far from the hundreds mark. Yet it hit the spot that the war-like Goddess had been unable to scratch for centuries.

She ripped off their skins, broke bones most people didn't even know they had, boiled blood and burned away the very essence that made a demon a demon. No one escaped from her touch or her sight, so when she sensed that Dean and Sorcha were in danger it was not a demon that barred her way but the one that sent the horde to Bobby's property in the first place. He came down in a great explosion like a meteor striking the Earth, wasting no time in grappling the powerful Goddess in the crater he had created. It struck curiosity in her more than concern to find that this angel was no easy push over as so many others had been. What fun were angels when they could be destroyed as easily as the lowly demon?

"Apollyon," Astarte greeted in her true voice, the air around her vibrating with the energy coming off of her as she stared hard and deep into the angel's blue eyes.

"You know my name?" he grinned at the flattery that caused him, not minding that she bested him in the grapple and shoved him down hard into the ground with enough force to break bones and render organs into jelly.

"I know many things fallen son of God."

The angel glared at her remark, his carefree demeanor turning sour at the cute name that human had given his kind long ago. What did they actually know of God and his sense of family? The angel launched himself towards Astarte but she moved too swiftly and was out of the crater and back on even ground, laughing down at him with mercurial orbs that swirled like a thousand galaxies were contained within them. Lightning struck down into the hole, squarely hitting the angel in the chest. A thunderous boom that shook the heavens followed but the angel, though worse for wear, still stood, a malevolent smile marring his innocent good looks.

"Better see to your rabid dog, pagan whore, or you'll be cleaning up a furry werewolf pelt of swiss cheese." The rat-tat-tat of automatic weapons prickled the air, and while Sam was out of range she knew how quickly that could change. And the demons acting as mindless drones would continue to show up as long as they were needed.

888

Sam was busy taking care of a few demons when he heard and felt the bullets hit him. He growled and howled at the pain. Silver bullets and they were huge, they knew what they were doing and prepared with bigger guns to do more damage. The hunter allowed the sting and pain as he barred his bloody teeth and launched at the demons with artillery. Ripping them out of their hands and some with their hands attached to the gun ripped away from the rest of them. He couldn't reach them all in time as they kept firing. None of them had machete's or long blades which meant they knew very well of Lucifer's plan for him. They were trying to weaken him.

His body fell to the dirt floor the more the bullets rattled into him. Making him jump and spasm like a marionette. It was even enough to turn him back the pain and loss of blood was getting extreme, the silver wasn't allowing him to heal as quickly as he normally could.

888

Astarte spun around, Apollyon's laughter rising from the hole behind her. She left him to his laughter if she had stayed to finish the troublesome angel it would have been too late for Sam and her werewolf lover was the priority. Flitting out of sight she immediately appeared in front of the host of demons armed with guns, several rounds puncturing her before she raised a hand to deflect the offending silver bullets. All that were fired returned to their senders in a violent hailstorm of metal pellets, butchering the demons' bodies where they stood. The air shivered and vibrated with Astarte's energy, gathering the mass of demonic smoke that was attempting to escape in a cyclone she forced them to collide with each other.

Sparks and friction warmed the air, the smoke pulsed with hues of purple and red until it glowed white hot. The subsequent explosion and destruction of the demons sent the four closest pillars of cars toppling over crushing anything in their path. Astarte assured that Sam was unharmed in the blast, her power forming a psychic shield around him to keep him from danger. Sensing that Alex was gone and that Dean, Bobby and Sorcha were safe for the moment the Goddess dropped to her knees next to Sam. Leaning over him she started the tedious process of sucking on the wounds to pull the heavy silver slugs out while his body healed what it could.

He yelled in pain at Astarte helping remove the silver from him. It wasn't entirely helping but he sucked it up. Even bringing his fingers to certain holes to take them out. They had to get out of there and to do that he had to be able to move without loaded and without worrying about his wounds closing up over the silver. Once they had removed it all he began to stand up, Astarte helping him once again. "Thanks."

What else could he say? He was thinking on survival and talking wasn't one of those things that fell onto that list. Get to Dean, Bobby and Sorcha...where was Alex? He inhaled her scent was still here but that was the problem where it kept going for a while it finally ended. Disappeared into thin air. Something had happened and he knew he couldn't figure it out right now. Training from his father kicked in more than instinct. If he moved fast, found everyone and didn't get shot...again...they'd be fine. Oh how naive they wouldn't be fine. Fooling himself.

888

In a blink she was gone and Dean just stared at the empty spot where Alex used to be, looking around because some part of him was entertaining the idea that this was a trick and she was hiding behind an upturned car or boulder sized chunk of dirt. Sadly, that wasn't the case and just as he was turning around to search out Astarte and Sam the Goddess's voice entered his head telling him to leave and the by the look on Bobby's face he had received that very same message. It was still dangerous she said, the angel was still looming around for a malevolent purpose. Regrettably, it was unlikely they would ever be able to return here. It was no longer a safe refuge.

They had to leave. Now.

"Screw her."

Dean fumed and pushed past Bobby to head in the direction he figured she was at. Crossing into the open area where a deep crater had been formed the two hunters halted at the strange man standing on the opposite end. Dean was confused and pissed beyond all reason when he recognized the man from way back, centuries in fact, when Cas time warped them back the colonial era to prove some stupid point about being destined to stop the Apocalypse. Alex and Von had been severely tortured and almost died from the ordeal. Dean always had the feeling this guy had something to do behind that.

"You're supposed to be dead," Dean told the man point blank.

"Man, you wouldn't believe how many times I've been told that," the dark haired man chuckled in pure mirth with an unsavory spark twinkling in his eye, "so you remember me?" A pleased smile warmed his features.

"Alex shot you three times in the chest, Alex isn't going to blow away an innocent person let alone plug them three times unless they've done something to her. Something like that is hard to forget." Dean's grip tightened around the knife handle.

"I thought all of you would have forgotten by now," he continued on as if Dean had never spoken, "even the human that Astarte used to be seems not to have recognized me."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Dean replied after hearing Astarte's voice in his head saying she remembered everything he and the other self-righteous pigs had done to her. And he heard her again say how they had to leave, this angel, Apollo, was about to commit a disastrous act.

Astarte and Sam appeared abruptly in front of Dean and Bobby, barring Apollo's view of the two hunters he had been facing off with. Dean opened his mouth to explain but Astarte bared her fangs with a growl towards him while she kept her mercurial orbs trained on the angel who was smiling at her.

_I told you to leave_, her voice filled every space in Dean's head and a shiver ran up his spine as the sound became more of a feeling that coursed through his body.

Denying Dean the chance to explain why they hadn't left after Alex was taken she handed Sam over to his brother because he was still too weak to manage much walking on his own. Apollo laughed at the affectionate display between them hardly dissuaded by the Goddess's deadly glare. "You honestly think I'm going to just let you leave?" he asked incredulously. Raising his hand to conjure up something nasty Astarte snapped her fingers and the four of them disappeared, leaving her alone to deal with Apollo.

"No. But who gave you any say in that?" she replied sternly waving her hand in front of her to dispel the bone crippling energy that Apollo has pushed towards the group that had once been there. "What have you done to yourself?" Astarte asked, pushing against him with her hand to make him step back from the hole to give her feet room to stand in front of him.

"Don't play that mind shit with me, it's not gonna work," he spoke calmly down to her and started when she rested her index and middle finger against his lips. He should be trying to kill her, at least cripple and maim but she had a strange hold over him. Or maybe that was more his curiosity, something the Goddess was famous for instilling in others.

"That's not what I'm doing." She twisted his head to the side and sank her fangs down into his neck, the shock gave her the few precious seconds she needed to take in a mouthful of blood. Apollo shoved her away, clasping his hand over his neck and checking to find his palm was coated in crimson fluid and soon running down his neck into his shirt. "What would Lucifer say if he found out?" Astarte gave a fierce and toothsome grin as the earth around them began to shudder under their feet.

Apollo laughed without answering, "I didn't want you killing me so fast, I might out rank the others but you didn't give them much of a chance. You save your mercy for humans and demons."

"I loathe humans and demons as much as you," she replied coolly. Her gaze dropped to the pit feeling an energy compressing in the shadow of it before her gaze ticked back up to the dark haired angel.

Apollo scoffed, "If I imagined for a second that that was true, why have both in your employ? Has being in Hell all those centuries stripped you of what little mind and sense you had to begin with?" A strange glow from below added a sickly pallor to Apollo's skin and out of instinct Astarte looked behind her to see what was the cause of it. Apollo took that opportunity to grapple her and leap into the hole with her pressed to his body, the expanding light consuming them both in its brightness.

888

"Oh, shit!" Dean hollered white knuckling the Impala's steering wheel as the vehicle swerved dangerously close to the ditch and then banked along the fringe of the opposite side, slick mud and pebbles scattering every which way.

They had been set on the dirt road a decent ways away from Bobby's house, one minute they were all standing and the next Dean was behind the wheel in his car with Bobby in shotgun, Sorcha between them and Sam sprawled out in the backseat looking worse for wear. Why not zap them somewhere farther away, why here and why in the moving car to fight through the thunderstorm? Dean had half a mind to turn around and risk Astarte's wrath, which puzzled him, where had he become so daring, maybe because he was sick of all of this and didn't give two flaming shits. When the Impala rumbled and jumped Dean check the gauges and then he checked the road, watching pebbles spring and hop on the road ahead of them like freshly popped kernels of corn.

"What in the hell?" Bobby breathed, amazed and perplexed by the lively display of rocks spitting across the view of the headlights. Lightning seizured above them from behind while a strange light grew on the not so distant horizon, becoming glaringly clear in the rearview mirrors. Every hair on Dean's body stood on end as he stared into the rearview mirror at the white-hot glow that was taking up the sky.

"What? What's going on?" Sam voiced, coughing and groaning. The wounds were healing way too slow, too many bullets, too much silver. This amount the rate of healing would probably take a day to two days. Silver was a bitch now.

_Astarte. Where are you?_

Neither Bobby or Dean had any answer for the younger hunter, it wasn't like anything like this had been witnessed by anyone before today and the best comparison to the eerie glow would have been to a nuclear bomb detonating. Dean was waiting for the inevitable boom that would follow the light like thunder after a lighning bolt, but there wasn't any sound, just the Impala's engine and the silence of their breaths. The spherical orb of light wasn't lessening as they drove away from the source; it remained steady in the rearview mirror that Dean and Bobby were constantly checking.

Which meant the light was still expanding and wasn't showing any signs of stopping, a grand supernova against the dark backdrop of the thunder storm making the sky around it appear silver instead of angry black. The light was the only way they would have been able to see what was coming next, the tsunami of what was once flat field and road rising behind them and gathering speed. Dean already had his foot slammed down on the accelerator until it was cutting into the carpet of the floorboard. Bobby and Dean took turns cursing before going completely silent. They weren't going to make it.

Sam decided to sit up. They weren't going to answer he was going to have to look. With his brother driving the way he was there had to be something really horrible going on. As he rose up, pain lacing everywhere in his torso he didn't need to turn to see the light behind them. He growled out in effort to yell as he told Dean to turn now. There was a dirt road to an upcoming stream of water that they could park under. With it being the weather it was it was dried up. Parked roughly under the cement tunnel under the road he raised his hands to his ears at the bang the force of power made as it swept over and continued on. He slid back to lying down at the ear splitting sound that radiated from it but it seemed to have no effect on Dean or Bobby.

Inhaling in slow breaths he attempted at calming and blocking out. It seemed to last for ages until it finally stopped, hands falling to his chest the only sound in the silence was his hard breathing. He was bleeding harder now than he had been. _What the hell was that?_

The explosion passed over them in an unmerciful rush of carnage and when Dean rose from his buckled down position the sharp tang of blood struck his nostrils like an iron nail. Immediately he turned in his seat to see Sam sprawled out in the back, blood everywhere and breathing hard. "Sammy!" he called frantically climbing out of the drivers seat to the back.

This was going to hurt. Dean laid his hands on his wounded brother, pain radiating up his arms, shoulders and into his torso making him tremble before he couldn't take anymore and let out a scream. He fell back behind the seats; trying to catch his breath and feeling his shirt begin to stick to him from the hot moisture of his newly acquired wounds. "Damn it Dean."

Bobby shook his head and exited the car to grab a blanket for Sam from the back. Then he stopped and looked around, the scene made him uncertain whether he was still in South Dakota and not some desolate wasteland from some sci-fi horror paperback he had been a fan of back in the day. Through some twisted miracle he was sure Astarte had some hand in the tress were still intact, but any sign of civilization was wiped clean. When Bobby's thoughts came back to the present he opened up the trunk and rummaged around for one of the old, rough wool blankets and hauling it out he brought it around to the passenger side where Sam's head would be. He figured it would be better to have to look at Sam from that angle.

"You better be damn careful ya don't get any of his blood in ya, otherwise yer both gonna be chasing yer tails come full moon," Bobby warned the elder brother before draping the blanket over the younger to cover his mangled frame. The were up shit creek without a paddle on this one, especially if the both of them wound up like Sam, bleeding and struggling to breathe.

He was thankful for the healing, but he was still pretty back. Silver bullets had burned his system and that was something that Dean could not take away. Feeling the blanket under his head and the other over his body. They needed to find a place to go. Somewhere they could have a chance to hide out and prepare and figure out what happened. Where Astarte was and where Alex went. They were looking for Lucifer but it turned out they might not get that far if they didn't have who they needed. His breathing beginning to slow down a little more he swallowed. It almost felt like they were stuck in the middle of a war between Astarte, heaven and hell. They were the game pieces but were somehow being ignored for the time being. What was going on? Sam wished there were answers because it was starting to get confusing and annoying as hell.

When Dean was well enough to move he wished he had stayed in the car. What he was seeing, the destruction, he couldn't comprehend it. So he stared out at the dusky red horizon that tinted the sky and the storm clouds that rolled away to assault some other place. "What was that Bobby?" Dean couldn't pull his eyes away from the space they had locked themselves onto but he knew the elder was shaking his head at a loss before he answered.

"Best guess, some sort of bomb that's not from around here," he looked up at Dean, if he didn't know him he wouldn't have been able to tell how scared to shit he was. But the signs were there, held in his eyes while the rest of his body was stoically rigid. "We need to think of our next move here, Sam had the right idea in taking cover but a ditch isn't a proper place to hole up in."


	17. Chapter 17

Leon had found himself a nice expensive studio apartment with a nice view of the tall building beside him and the rest full of greenery. He enjoyed the high life and managed to get himself a lovely maid to clean up his messes he left on the easy to clean flooring. Today was full of silence. He was drinking a nice hearty heavily induced alcoholic beverage that would have sent most swirling in insanity and drunk for times farther than the present. He was standing near the floor to ceiling wide window at the sunset and that was when he felt her. "Was starting to think you had forgotten all about little ol' me." Taking a drink he swallowed and turned to see her state of appearance. "Now my dear, what on earth went wrong with you? Normally I'd know but this time it seems I've been coming up blank on your end within the past few hours."

Astarte's mercurial orbs panned right then left, fading to human green when she fell back into the leather sofa in exhaustion with what was left of her dress hardly doing anything to keep her modest, "this is disgusting", she stated of Leon's living arrangements. It came as a happy surprise to know that for once Leon was in the dark, he was afterall a notorious sneak, the exact reason Astarte had chosen to spare his life despite what he had done to Dean.

"One of Lucifer's brethren didn't like how I was playing with him, he loosed a new weapon on me that I've never seen", was as far as she went in explaining the situation to the man who had previously been a demon, understanding that this was going to change the race to the Earth's throne entirely.

Hate to say it but then again not really, you bit off more than you could chew it seems. And to you my new home might be disgusting, but to me it's just perfect. Now if you intent on bleeding on my couch..." he drifted off, walking over to where she was, he set the glass down and stared down at her. He knew what she needed, it didn't take a genius when he had heard everything. It was great though that she didn't catch his lie when he said he didn't know. Of course he knew. He was Leon. He wanted to see if she'd notice and apparently she didn't. It made him slightly happy. Rolling his sleeves up on his suit he knelt before her and removed a blade from his back, cutting long and deep into his forearm he brought it to her. "You best drink up if you want your health back."

Astarte did not stop at the gash Leon opened in his arm, her roaming mouth found it's way to the bend of his elbow where her fangs punctured into the soft flesh there. Sucking until a painful bruise formed and the veins dried up she moved up further to the source, her sharp canines sinking down into Leon's neck after she tore his shirt from him. She knew how much pain and pleasure it caused him and even if he wanted to he couldn't fight her if he decided he had had enough, her grip was iron tight and she was draining his life force from him.

Leaving just enough blood to keep his heart beating Astarte removed herself from Leon watching him as he lay in a dizzy half conscious swoon. Knowing he would be like that for a while she walked into the kitchen to the small marble island where a bowl of apples sat and picking up the juiciest one Astarte returned to the living room to stare out the large window while she ate it. The Goddess would keep her eyes trained on Bobby, Sorcha and the Winchesters from a distance, for now her mind turned to tactics. Others such as Lucifer and the angels were amassing their forces; it was time for Astarte to do the same.

888

Getting the Impala into the riverbed wasn't a problem, getting it out was another story. Sam could barely walk without help so that meant no werewolf super strength to help them push the car out of the ditch and onto flat land. Bobby and Dean tried every way they knew how while Sorcha kept watch over Sam who they had taken out of the car while it swerved and bumped it's way up and down the riverbed. They tried gunning it, angling, reversing and building a ramp, which left the classic beauty in a worse position than before when it broke in half from her weight.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean fisted his hands in his hair, taking out his anger by punting a large rock into the trees with his boot. He was willing to drive up and down the river to find a lower spot but Bobby told him the banks were just as high if not higher all throughout. "This is bullshit!" he announced, not caring if anything heard him until Bobby nailed him with a death glare to shut him up. Options were running down close to nothing.

"We have two choices as far as I can see, stay here until yer car learns how to fly or we hoof it."

They carried what they could from the car having no choice but to leave her behind canvased and camouflaged by branches and leaves. Dean had to accept the possibility that the river would flood and he might never see his Baby again. It was a tough decision to put up with. Dean made one last ditch effort to call Castiel, when the angel didn't answer Dean cursed at him and hauled his rucksack onto his shoulders and headed up the rear with Sorcha who was also doing her part in carrying supplies with the dog backpack that Dean had taken from Von's Chevy Nova months ago. Bobby was leading the group and Sam was in the middle so Dean could keep an eye on him, they had him carry as much as he insisted he could handle but Dean was ever watchful of his little brother's safety and well being.

Sam had gathered up a few things, he felt bad he couldn't help with the Impala but he managed with smaller items. The silver was still working his system. Those demons really knew what they were doing to drag him down and weaken him. If anything those silver bullets weren't regular. Especially with how the whole attack went. It took forever for them to walk and by the time they reached something that resembled civilization once more he sighed in relief. He needed food and more importantly he needed to rest. That was what was going to help him fully.

"Hallelujah," he breathed.

A convenience store on the outside of town. It wasn't much but it was shelter and if they were lucky it would still have food in it. Bobby went in to scout the area and when he came back out saying it was clear they moved inside and set up camp, Sam needed the rest more than any of them which was one of the reasons why they stopped here instead of moving further into the town. While Dean set up salt and Devil's Traps Bobby took inventory of what food was left to them, a few snack bars, a bag of all dressed chips and a lot of canned baked beans.

"What do people have against baked beans?" Bobby commented to himself and with a shrug he gathered up what he found and brought it over to the backroom of the store where two sleeping rolls and the rest of their supplies were being stored. Setting the stuff down on the desk he looked at Sam. "How're ya holding up kid?"

Sam looked at the elder. "Okay, not fantastic but I'll live." He took up one of the cans of beans and pulled back on the tab before eating. He had gone through at least two cans and one snack bar before he allowed himself to lie down and close his eyes.

Behind them he worried. Where was Astarte? What was that light? What just happened back there? Where was Alex? Were they going to be all right? Were they could to get this done and defeat the devil? He was still out there and he was looking for him and he was definitely not in the shape let alone the mood to deal with him. Letting himself drift, his dreams were plagued with horrible scenes that depicted the world at an end and him witnessing from inside himself. Nothing he could do but bang on an invisible as he screamed for it all to stop.

Dean took point at the front of the store while Bobby and Sam rested in the back. The lights were off and things were quiet, that eery silence that could break at any moment with something terrible showing up. Prepare for the worst, don't waste energy hoping for the best. With a weary sigh Dean shifted in his seat, gun held lightly in his hand but ready all the same, after all the chaos it was strangely comforting to fall back into a routine, still stressful but a routine non the less. He doubted there would be much days ahead where all three of them would be able to get any sleep at the same time. They would take shifts, him and Bobby, while Sam slept however much he could. If he were anything like Dean whatever dreams came his way wouldn't be pleasant ones.

_At least he doesn't have Hell dogging his steps..._

888

**June 25, 2009**

**Howell, New Jersey: Beacon Dr**

**7:56AM**

Pain radiated in her back. It was nearly raw from all the torture it had gone through yesterday. Alex was put in a cage in her old bedroom. Well metaphorically. There was a ward on the property lines; she couldn't go past them...she had tried when she managed to get loose. No neighbors saw her, they didn't see or hear the things that had happened in that front yard even though they were out front gardening or heading somewhere important. Dry blood dripped from her nose and smudges decorated her face and arms. Her hair was a tangled mess from being dragged by it and pulled to look at her parents. Shirt in tatters in the back and her sweat pants stained and heavy. There were no other clothes to wear and she wasn't about to fight them in her underwear or butt naked.

Her fingers pressed into the windowsill as she stared out the window. Life just went on outside. No one knew she was in here. She wanted to hurt them, kill them and torture them for not being able to hear or see or know. No one was coming for her unless it was Lucifer and she was not going to say yes. No matter how much they prepped her up for it or tried to break her into it. They kept claiming they were making Alex stronger. Didn't they know what she had been through? What she had done? Of course she was stronger. But they were who they were and they never listened to a damn thing she said. A knock on the door brought her attention to her father standing there.

"Time to come back downstairs Alex."

"The warden commands it? Seems like you are still the same dad. Always taking orders from mom."

Rodfeld stepped forward and grabbed her by arm roughly, searing the skin as he pulled her from the bedroom and down the stairs, past the living room and straight into the kitchen. Waiting there was Peoria in an apron, what could have been called a normal mom and breakfast was turned upside down at the wooden chair with straps and carvings made into it. The array of tools lined up make her struggle more as she was forced into it and strapped down. A specific one bending her head up to the ceiling and keeping it there with locks as it barely choked her. A mouth piece attached to a tube was attached to her mouth and over her head as a clear liquid pumped into her system she writhed, screamed and gagged at the holy water that was all too familiar from another time.

888

Leon was up and around, eating and drinking to regain what he had lost to the hungry leech. He had a wonderful thing to tell her but all the while he watched cogs work in her cranium. Formulating of plans that led to the big game. Of course it would only take her a second to notice that something was on his mind and that he was keeping it from her. Waiting for the opportune moment to see the look wash onto her face and those eyes to flare. Being Leon it was a good thing in many ways. He always knew things, whether it was by accident or on purpose. It came to him and he didn't forsake it. Mostly he did a little digging and it didn't involve getting his hands dirty. Finishing up the cereal he was scarfing down he placed the bowl and spoon into the dishwasher as he headed into the living room.

"So my dear, what is on the agenda today?"

She knew Leon had something to tell her, the excited energy of anticipation was buzzing around him even while he tried to hide it. Though she also knew he wasn't trying his hardest to hide it, he wanted her to notice, like an excited child that wanted their parent to guess what was on their giddy mind instead of coming out with it. Astarte's green orbs glittered with silver specks of starlight as she thoughtfully trailed her gaze up and down Leon's frame, inside she was grinning at how the simple gesture made his entire body tingle with sensation and how he still hadn't mastered any way of hiding how it made him feel. It was something that had no comparison to any experience he had gained as a human or a demon.

"I believe you have something wonderful to tell me, shall we start with that?" What sounded like a suggestion was more of an order but with Astarte's seductively rich voice it was easy to confuse the two. She hadn't just kept Leon alive for his very fuckable body.

"Well..." he drew out, his eyes roaming over her own body as she was doing to him. "There is something you should know. If you want to win this war my sweet strawberry." Leon circled her as he got closer and finally stopped in front of her. "You are looking for a weapon. One that can change how the turnout will be. It can either be the end of the world and life upon it or it can be the glorious end of the war and save everything. Malleable. Comes in a nice little package. Problem is that currently it's nearly impossible to find. That weapon you need, you lost because of your hate and greed. Good thing is that both sides have found it but only one has failed to really gain it." Closer now, his lips were hovering and his breath hit her own as he spoke the rest. "Our very own Alex Tatiani. She's the big game piece. The one that Lucifer or you or any contender needs to have on their team in order to win. After all she is the Anti-Christ."

A grin spread across his lips as he stared down at Astarte. He could practically see the boiling anger inside at how she let something like that slip past her and through her very fingers. That was the one thing that brought joy inside, her expressions were like candy to a child.

Astarte scowled and without indication her hand shot up and struck Leon in the face sending him across the living room and onto his side with a thud. Flicking the blood off her hand onto the immaculate tile flooring she stepped lightly over to the blonde haired man as he struggled to pick himself up. The skin of his cheek was spilt open and weeping blood, it made a lovely compliment to the blood vessels that had ruptured in his eye leaving it half red and the crimson rivulet that trickled out past his lips when his teeth sliced into his tongue.

In a graceful stride the Goddess' foot flew out to land perfectly into Leon's ribcage sufficiently knocking the air out of him and cracking several ribs. Stepping down on his head to keep him from moving she leaned down, the balls of her foot applying pressure to his temple which threatened to crush his skull. "Oblige me Leon, I feel I've made a mistake in giving you as much freedom as I have. Is that true?" she asked as her anger poured out and entered Leon in the form of white-hot pain.

"The only freedom you've given me is that of a tad longer leash than your boy toy Sam," he coughed and winced. "Then again I'm surprised you stepped up this much since we've last encountered. Tell me Astarte, do you always take out your losses on others? I was simply informing. The time was right and you never sought to ask anything of the sort. You asked, I answered. I'm being obedient. Do I need to bark and sit before I get my treat?" Leon gave a glare up at her though his head was squished practically but the mirth was there all the same.

"You're being duplicitous. Telling me what I need to know only when I ask, waiting when it best suits your needs instead of telling me as soon as you discover it, a true human and demonic trait but why am I not surprised one did come from the other. Filth begets filth." Astarte removed her foot and crouched down grabbing Leon's bloodied face and sinking her nails into his jaw. "I do expect you to bark and sit before you get your treat, Leon, you have to earn your treats. I have one set aside that's very special and that I think you'll enjoy very much but you've shown me how unworthy you are of receiving anything but pain from me, though that in itself is a gift to someone like you, isn't it?" Astarte narrowed her green orbs at his arrogant face. "Don't make the mistake of crossing me, you will not like the outcome."

Leon stared back at her and finally he decided to speak further. "She's at her old home. The very place she grew up. I only know the state, I do not know where exactly and you can look as much as you want into my head or try and bring pain to me but I am telling the truth on that part. New Jersey." He coughed and blood spilled from his lips and he licked it up all the same. "I don't know anything else on the matter. Now do you want to keep this up or shall we try and find the little weapon?"

Hauling Leon to his feet Astarte smiled, "That wasn't so hard, now was it?"

She brushed her thumb along the corner of his eye and his sight cleared of blood, then she gave him a soft kiss on his lips to show her generosity. Catching her image in a wall mirror she studied the state she was in, the delicate dress which Sam had found for her was all ripped up and she inwardly struggled with the emotion of sadness. She liked the dress. Sam had picked it out for her. Blinking she snapped her fingers and it was like new again, with a smile that would have pained Sam's heart it was so like Von's she turned to Leon and took his hand.

"Let's go."

And they disappeared from the apartment. New Jersey was a foul place full of foul people, everything had a greasy stink to it that if Astarte actually breathed would have stifled her lungs. It was amazing that with the world, their very country falling into ruin around them that people think they're untouchable and they continue to carry on with their mundane little lives. Did they honestly think their rulers had any control over what was going on?

"It's time to have some fun Leon, but let anyone memorize your face and I'll rip it off," she cautioned with a thunderous glare cast his way, "unfortunately discretion will be our key until we can smoke her out. We wouldn't want our prey sneaking away on us, cowards that they are."

888

**11:31AM**

Alex was heaving on the floor; black tainted blood coming out that she didn't know was in there. Lungs fighting the inhalations and pressure with each turn. On her hands and knees she was being forced to remove the holy water, the salt and whatever the fuck else they put into her system for hours on end from her body. Peoria stood before her, hand outstretched and pure focus solely on the task. Blue and black eyes met her mother and was finally released when Rodfeld touched the arm of his wife and showed her the message on his cell phone.

Collapsing to the side she wondered if it was possible to breathe. Alex couldn't hear past the ringing in her eyes and the raggedness of her breathing as it escaped her open mouth. Peoria and Rodfeld walked away and left the home. They were being called for a meeting. There were things that needed to be hashed out with other demons and such and then they had to talk to Lucifer at a later time. He was currently busy with his own host named Sam Winchester. Whatever he doing they had to wait. "Do you really think that was necessary?" Rodfeld asked as they walked through and over the ward.

"Of course it was necessary. Everything we do and have done is necessary. Questioning it just shows how much you doubt yourself. You always were a softy."

"She's our daughter. I'm going to doubt your judgment when it comes to the one we made for the reason of the master plan. It'd be idiotic to not say that I don't care for her."

"Are you saying I don't? I care for her future. The choices she makes and by making the wrongs ones we have the assignment to correct that. It's called parenting."

"It's called being sub-servant."

"Stop complaining. Not an attractive trait."

"Stupidity is also an unsightly trait." Astarte appeared in front of the demonic couple her fangs bared in a wide grin. "I'm a little disappointed," she relayed woefully, "you made this much too easy. I could have smelled you across the city and picked you out amongst thousands." The Goddess stepped forward causing them to step back, nudging her head towards the house behind them she continued, "She's in there, isn't she?"

The red head beamed with the knowledge that Alex was indeed in the house, locked away all nice and safe until Lucifer was ready for her. What a surprise it would be for her to go missing, Lucifer would be very cross with those that were in charge of keeping her.

"Astarte. Would have expected you sooner given your description and history. Lucifer pegged you for quite the little slut," Peoria spoke cockily.

Rodfeld let his eyes flick towards his wife. It was always like her to provoke the higher up. It was always like her to follow orders and do anything to make sure she came out on top. Problem is he knew very well that this encounter they might not be so lucky. Using what he could he was there one second and blinked into the living room of their home. Grabbing Alex off the floor as she screamed in agony from a dry stinging throat, he hauled her for the back door. Sure he was leaving Peoria to fend for herself but he still knew the mission. That was to protect Alex, keep her away and safe for Lucifer and it could not be compromised.

Hearing something outside he hurried her, making Alex trip and actually twist her ankle enough to break it as she hit the hard wood flooring. The snap indicated that she couldn't walk anymore as well as the cry that left her. Picking her up in a carry he made it to the door, out the back and through the hedges as far away as possible. Not looking back he broke through the green only to find the very man that Alex had created. The abomination...but that was not what scared him. It was the fact that Astarte stood next to him with a grin that made his skin crawl.

"My wife had a habit of almost getting herself killed. Looks like this time it really got to her," he voiced, his attention went to Alex as she was gripping her ankle in pain, setting her down on the ground he stood straight. "Lucifer will not stop until he has her as well as his vessel. There is no way you can keep her hidden or from his reach."

Scraping what was left of Peoria off of her dress with her hand Astarte barely gave it a second glance as she flicked the still steaming bits of bone and innards onto the ground. "That I have no doubt of Rodfeld, but he'll be hard pressed in finding either one of them. For all his tenacity he relies too much on inferior drones to do his bidding...no wonder he cares about your kind as much as a chimp does it's shit. Once the humans are all gone, you'll be next." She purred from the expression on the demon's face, savoring the moment, "I really wish I had more time, but more of Luci's goons are on their way and I really don't have time to play."

With a single decisive snap of her finger Rodfeld exploded in a powerful gush of guts and bodily fluids that rained down in a fine shower of gore. Giving a nod to Leon to send him away but not too far Astarte knelt down next to Alex and wrapped her hand around her broken ankle, instantly mending the wound and the pain it was causing.

"Time to go Alex", Astarte laid a hand on the wounded Anti-Christ and they were gone from the city to somewhere remote and safe, another place deep in some far away land.

Blinking furiously Alex met Astarte's face and she pushed her away. "Get the fuck away from me."

A cough erupted from her throat and she gagged at the taste of bile still lingering from her parents attentions. She wasn't really too aware of everything that had just happened, her body had been put through havoc but not as bad as usual...still pretty bad for her. Lying down on her back as she continued to be taken over by the annoyance that wracked her frame. A moment came of ability to breathe and she looked around to see where she was. Blurry, fuzzy and confused Alex rolled onto her stomach and attempted to push herself up only to come back down with a wince.

"For someone who wants to kill me and hurt me like a mother fucker, why even bother coming to rescue me? I thought we were on different footing since we last ran into each other. Or did you grow soft?"

Astarte chuckled bemusedly, "We_ are_ on different footing, but that doesn't mean we can't be on the same side."

She watched Alex struggling with her injuries and gave a roll of her eyes. It was pathetic. Grabbing the brunette with one hand she lifted her up and onto her feet where she stood healed and as good as new, now Astarte could get to the point instead of being distracted by the urge to hurt Alex further.

"You've already been made aware of Lucifer's plans thanks to your parents, he wants you, _needs_ you to be part of his army. He's a powerful little prick but he can't really start the End of Days all on his lonesome, he needs a couple key players. You happen to be one of them and just because you've said no a dozen times to him already doesn't mean he's going to stop asking, like any spoiled brat he makes sure he gets what he wants. And we both want to make sure he doesn't get what he wants, unless I'm mistaken and you'd rather have the Devil destroy everything you still care about. Don't look at me that way Alex, I can see inside your heart; at how very human you still are in your sympathies. No matter how far down the rabbit hole you go I don't think that will ever change. You think the world's gone to pot now, this is nothing compared to what he's capable of. I'm trying to save the world Alex, will you help me?"

888

Bobby was out front keeping an eye on things now that he had sent Dean to the back to get some sleep. Only thing was Dean couldn't sleep, he feared what he would see closing his lids, he was dog tired but he refused to close his eyes willingly. What he wouldn't give for some alcohol to dull his anxiety but the store was completely dry and so was his flask, so he sat deadly quiet against the opposite wall where Sam slept.

_When did I become such a pussy?_ Dean reflected bitterly in the silence of the room.

What had happened to the man of action he had once been, the brave soldier marching on with a shit eating grin? That man was weathered, wizened and weary, lost at the terrible changes that had taken over the world Dean had no idea where to turn. He still had Sam and Bobby and even Sorcha was of some comfort though in some ways the dog reminded him too much of Von which made his heart twist painfully in his chest. And thoughts of Von usually gave way to thoughts of Alex. Dean still wanted to think there was a way to save her. To save them both.

The only way he knew how to send Astarte back to Hell was to slaughter over a thousand people and that didn't guarantee Von wouldn't get trapped down there with the Goddess. They were after all one and the same now, you couldn't un-fuse something without heavy collateral damage. Dean didn't know where to start with Alex, there was a time where she was almost two people, her human side and her demon side but they were never really meant to be separated and now she was the Anti-Christ. The Bible really got their description fucked up. Tilting his head back Dean stared at the ceiling, imaging the sky beyond that and wondering where the hell Castiel was.

888

Castiel was standing on the roadside. Looking left and right as semi's and various other vehicles passed by without so much as a change in speed at his presence. Meg had left him behind. He had gone to handle something with her involving a possible lead and then she was gone. Completely alone and no way of transporting without becoming unconscious from the effort of it all, he needed to think of a way to get back to familiarity. The sound of a car pulling over caught his attention, the window rolled down and Meg raising a brow at him. "Are you going to just stand there or are you going to hop inside?"

"You disappeared." He blinked as he didn't move.

Meg sighed and rolled her eyes. "We can't always rely on the same vehicle now can we angel boy? I had to change the scenery."

"That makes no sense."

"Just...get in."

Waiting for him to comply and watching as he did so she knew that she couldn't really say why she was gone for so long. Meg had left him there for almost a day. Lucifer had called to her and informed her of a few things before something came up. By that time she knew she had to get back to the angel. She hated to say it but he was growing on her in an annoying way. The main goal was to get as far away from the others as possible before heading back. The hunters weren't at the elder's house anymore, that she had found out in the meeting. Kind of interesting and she had wished she was there to witness the events. Now she had to go back and act as if nothing was wrong, she didn't know and that she wasn't just using them like a condom.

"I'm hungry."

"Why didn't you get yourself something when I was gone?"

Castiel turned his head to look at her blankly. "I don't understand the question."

_If he hadn't grown on me just a little...I would have killed him a long time ago just to shut him up._

888

Sam had been dreaming horrible things, all involving the future and how the world looked just in front of his very shoes. When it finally shifted he was standing in complete darkness. Space without stars and planets. His breathing echoed back to him and was soon swallowed up into the void. "Hello?" he asked. Turning every which way to see if something would pop up. Nothing. Alone. Black. Blank. Facing forward he wondered just why he would have this dream.

"It's nice to see you again." The voice nearly sent chills down his spine and he turned around to come face to face with Jessica. Wearing her normal clothes, the smile he loved and they were in their apartment. "You were having a nightmare again weren't you. The same one?"

He never told her about the one he had when they were together. The one where she died the same way as his mother, on the ceiling bathed in fire and pain. But it didn't surprise him. He had made up an excuse to her each time. Never really saying the real contents of the dream. That still haunted him. He could have said something. Done something and she would still be safe and alive...or so he liked to believe. Sometimes with everything he would play it over and it always ended the same. Nothing could change it from happening.

"It was different."

"Do you want to tell me?"

Jessica sat down on the bed and stared at him with concern and yet calm. She always did that. Making sure not to press on to things that bothered and let him come out by his choice. He missed that. Moving over to her he sat down in front of her on the floor, kneeling in between her knees as he rested his hands on top of hers. "I don't know anything anymore. It's all confusing. It's all chaotic and I wish you were here to help me get through it."

"Well I'm here now. Sam...none of this is your fault. You can't love someone who is the complete opposite of who you did. No matter what they may look like. As for everything else...that can't be helped. It'll be fine. You seem to know how to find a solution. I know you."

Sam met her blue orbs and searched them. God he missed her and he would love her forever. He knew she was right but it was hard to believe entirely. Nodding he brought her hands to his and kissed them. "This isn't real is it?"

"Me? No. But you already knew that Sam, that's why you created an escape from Lucifer. You are more powerful than you think."

Blinking his eyes open he stared at the ceiling of the convenience store. Sam didn't want to get up just yet because he knew he wasn't asleep long even though it seemed eternity. Waiting for a few minutes he inhaled and shut his eyes once more to try to really rest his mind and body.

**End Note: Thanks for reading! Reviews much appreciated! Helps the muses! :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Warning:**** FULL story Rated M for language, sex and violence. Read at your own choice.**

Dean had watched Sam dream, wake and then struggle silently to fall back into blissful unconsciousness. It had only been maybe a minute or two after that and he wasn't altogether sure that Sam had fallen asleep before him when the sight of a red headed woman made his heart skip frantically in his chest. He shot up with his shotgun in hand; something was off about the woman who he at first assumed was Astarte returning from wherever the hell she had gone to. Her hair was a slightly different shade and length than what he had remembered. Astarte's hair was rich auburn and grown long and beautifully wild since her resurrection. This woman's hair barely went past her shoulder blades and was a lighter red and now that Dean was really paying attention she was shorter too.

"Hey!" he shouted, raising his gun and ready to fire in the case the intruder decided to get nasty.

When she turned around Dean could see her face and how very different she was from the Goddess. Her face was somewhat gaunt but still pretty and Dean could see delicate laugh lines around her mouth despite her youthful appearance, this was someone who laughed and smiled a lot or at least used to. By her grave and earnest expression Dean knew those days were long behind her and her hazel eyes carried all the burden of someone much older than her.

"Who are you?" he asked after she gave no answer and only continued to stare at him, it was strangely penetrating and made the hunter increasingly uncomfortable.

"Anna, I'm an angel," she replied simply and gently.

"Fuck sakes." Dean rolled his eyes in agitation while his gun remained trained on Anna perfectly. "Listen sister, whatever you're about to start preaching to me you can save it."

"Dean, you have to say yes, for all our sakes," she explained with all the earnestness her face had been quietly expressing before. "What's happening now, it's only the beginning. What Lucifer has planned is much worse than you can imagine. Thousands of people will die."

"Thousands of people are already dying so instead of convincing me it's a good idea to be raped by an angel why don't you and your feathered friends do something about it, huh? Zachariah sent you didn't he, did he really think a pretty face was going to make me change my mind?" He glowered at Anna who had stepped towards him; she knew a gun wouldn't be able to harm her.

"Michael needs to stop Lucifer," she insisted.

"We'll find a way to stop him ourselves without you self-righteous douche bags," Dean countered venomously.

"You can't," she said simply.

"Try and stop me." He grinned smugly despite his position, and slightly alarmed that Sam had not yet woken from the commotion he realized, "I'm dreaming aren't I?"

"Yes," Anna answered with a hint of annoyance in her voice at Dean's defiance. "We can't find you because of what Castiel did."

"Where is he?"

"Castiel? I wish I knew, he's been punished."

Dean ignored the tone of sadness in Anna's voice as she talked about Castiel. "Punished?" he questioned her as he lowered his gun. Since this was a dream there wasn't any reason to have a gun pointing at the angel, not that salt rounds would have done anything to stop her anyway.

"For helping you and disobeying most of his powers have been stripped from him. He's failed his mission and your arrogance is to blame," she accused, "you need to say yes, it's your destiny to be Michael's weapon against Lucifer, if not for the angels than for your brother. You're putting Sam in danger by saying no."

"Screw you lady," Dean growled. There was another way to stop the Devil, there had to be and not any amount of threats coming from the angels would make him change his mind about it.

Anna stared at him and shook her head, "I'm not making threats here, you need to understand-"

"It's you that needs to understand, no means no, I would say Zachariah can go fuck himself if he wasn't a junkless fuck head. You're wasting your time talking to me."

888

"I should trust you why?" Alex voiced, tilting her head to the side she stepped back. "Just because you saved me and healed me and gave me a speech that you probably worked on for at least ten seconds, you expect me to say yes to you? The very thing that I don't want is to be sided with anyone. If anything you are just as bad as Lucifer if not worse. Take it as a compliment if you must but no go. I'm looking for an exit ticket and saying yes to either of you is one-way trip back to Hell. Fuck off Astarte, you're barking up the wrong if you have the same expectations from me as the devil himself."

Turning around Alex began to walk away; she was going to find a way out of wherever she was, to get to wherever she wanted to be. Do things again and go down the preverbal rabbit hole that the Goddess spoke of so kindly. Looking every which way she decided to add another little comment to the fire she poked at.

"Oh and Astarte...if you really wanted me to believe you or consider your offer, I wouldn't have used the words that _you_ are trying to save the world. That is a riot."

"Oh, but I _am_, stupid girl," Astarte replied, abruptly appearing in front of Alex's path and forcing her to stop. "Leaving so soon? I have a surefire way of convincing you that's it's in everyone's best interests for you to be on my side. How about I let you take a sneak peek?"

Astarte rammed the heel of her palm into Alex's forehead and a fiery white light flashed in front of her, when the light dissipated Alex was gone and Astarte was standing alone. At least to the untrained eye. "She's gone, you can come out now." She almost sang the words, cupping Leon's chin in her hand when he appeared. She smiled and her eyes swam liquid silver as they gazed soul deep into his orbs.

_I'm remarkably surprised you didn't try to interfere_, her voice purred inside him while her celestial stare kept him entranced. Smiling she drew her lips against his, opening her mouth to allow him to taste her as her tongue snaked out to explore the deepest recesses of his mouth. Breaking the kiss she could see the lust he tried to hide, _I've outdone myself, you tempt me with everything you give away in those eyes of yours. But I'm not going to fuck you Leon, and you would enjoy me raping you too much._

Slowly she undid the buttons on his shirt, one by one, to reveal the toned skin underneath and to truly observe the rise and fall of his chest. Now with each button open her fingers treaded lightly over the waistband of his pants, teasing against the skin and at the belt buckle.

_Would you make love to me, is that something you're remotely capable of? Do you remember what it is to make love to someone, to feel it in every part of you, how agonizing yet perfect it is? You give yourself wholly over to them and they to you? Would you genuinely be sincere in those emotions, or would you try to deceive me behind one of your treacherous masks? I'll know if you are, and I can take my desires to those who are more worthy of them than you._

Leon nearly growled in happiness at her attentions at his pants. But with her telling him that he had to make love to her, that was nearly down right insulting. Revolting in so many ways that he could vomit and call it lies. That is all that love was. Lies. Trickery. Deceit. Horribly crafted to torture and control humans and creatures by the almighty God. Then again he never believed God to be as almighty as the scriptures and churches said. He remembered very well a time when he believed, when he was devote. What a laugh, what a riot, it was completely idiotic of him. Where was God then when his family was in ruins? Where was God when he needed him most? Nowhere. His new God was that of Hell and other relations.

"You would ask of me such a chore that strains even my patience? I remember all too well thanks to this body."

The problem was that he yearned an unnatural amount to give into her for the contact. It would be like learning how to walk all over again. The memories were one thing, but the lack of years that tore it from him was another. Looking away his jaw was clenched and his fists tight in balls at his sides. It was near pathetic. Something such as making love could make such a stir in someone such as him when it should have been discarded and taken advantage of in a ravenous manner that was used to. Leon gave out an angry yell that echoed where they were. Turning from her he stopped a few steps away and glared ahead of him.

"Why? Why is this horrendous thing so important to you? Is it because of that human part that longs for it every waking moment or do you truly feel this way? Have you been changed? From the stories I have heard, the experiences I have dealt with when it comes to you, love was never a compassionate trait that you would emanate. Let alone any compassion. It's blinded you from killing hunters you slaughtered millennia ago and burning down thousands," he said, finally he turned to face her. "Yet making love is something so important now. I do not doubt you would take this somewhere else, but the question is if you know me like you say you do then why ask me in the first place? I do _not_ make love. You tear those words into me like I should be capable of such a thing."

Truth was it pained him, how could she ask that? Especially of him. He only knew of pain and torture and yet something so meaningful and slow and passionate was far gone beyond his reach. That was the old Leon. Maybe there was a time even in Hell he had wanted to make love to Alex, she was his mentor, his creator to a new life...How could she even speak those words?

She was not apologetic. A similar pain had imbedded itself into her that now filled Leon. What had they both become to be burdened by things forgotten and so unlike them that it twisted their very soul and essence with agony? Love had never been missed in their lives, now it was something they found themselves craving and hating everything for it. Astarte knew Leon very well, well enough to know she had only doubt that he would be able to provide what she desired and that her asking that of him had been pointless. Yet she had gone and asked anyway, maybe because she knew how she had changed him both from within and without.

She knew that was the reason it pained him so deeply, violence, torture, rape, he excelled in but the delicate nature of sensuality, tenderness was forever beyond his reach because of his damnation. Her request had hurt him in ways that her fangs or a blade never could, the blackened ink of his soul still had nerves to be pinched and plucked. What she was feeling, the Goddess couldn't completely comprehend and she despised it for that reason, she could feel the disgusting weakness threaded through every fiber of her being.

Despite that with such tenderness she pressed her lips to Leon's, tasting all his emotions in that singular moment and combing her fingers through his shortened blonde hair. Then she was gone, leaving Leon to painful thoughts inflicted by his own mind. She would have to seek solace in someone else's arms.

888

**June 25, 2014**

**New York, New York**

Alex had closed her eyes, the light that came had practically become blinding and when she decided to open her eyes she found herself where she had not been. Staring, trying to decipher what the hell was going on and where the hell she was. Then it hit her Times Square. The area was empty, a car left to rust and grass overtaking some in the inside. No doubt animals had taken up home in them. Turning slowly to take it all in she really began to notice the death. Corpses that were mostly all decomposed to full skeleton with rags plastered to their remains to be disturbed in the light breeze. Street lights were tossed over like a teddy bear unwanted, while signs hung with dried up blood splatters like an art piece on display. Hearing what sounded like stiletto heels clicking on the concrete sidewalk behind her she quickly faced the newcomer. Albeit without any weapons but then again she had to remember she was a weapon all on her own. Eyes shifting black and blue she held her hands at her side ready to do her worst when she focused entirely.

Eyes rolled from across from her, a short expensive lace dress with one shoulder sleeve completely gone in the design matched with the wavy dark brown locks. Blue orbs decorated with near black makeup and glitter leading to the ruby red lipstick. Nails manicured and almost like fire and lightning it was a play on the eyes. As the woman stopped in from of her she was holding a duffel bag. "I've been waiting for you to show your ass up."

The woman she was staring back at was herself.

"Waiting for me?" Alex couldn't help but ask herself. How was she even going to refer to herself? Future Alex? This was beyond weird.

"What? All those times put in the past and alternate realities and you find it hard to believe you would be sent to the fucking future standing in front of yourself? Kind of expected. Just take the damn bag of clothes and follow me. We need to head to my home before the eaters come out."

"Eaters?"

"Desperate hobos? Do you prefer that? Bleeders, eaters, jumpers and infected. A lot has changed since 2009."

Future Alex stepped forward more and grabbed her own hand, dragging them along in the direction she had come from. It wasn't that she couldn't handle what she had spoken of, she could, she ruled them and it sickened her in a deep sense that wrestled with the joy. She preferred to not be around when they came, the world was different, changed in a way she despised and all because she chose the wrong side and was misled to believe that doing what she did was the right move.

"I am in the future?"

A groan escaped the Future Alex, she couldn't understand why she was so frustrated with herself. She had never really run into a version of herself and she found it rather of an eye opener. No wonder she got on so many people's nerves in her past life. "2014."

"Where is Astarte? People? Hunters?"

"All dead."

"Wait what? But how? I thought Astarte couldn't be killed."

"She can."

"How?"

"Do you always ask such pointless questions? I killed her damn it and I wish I hadn't."

That took Alex back. This future her was a real bitch. More importantly how did she gain the power or ability to ever kill Astarte with her being a Goddess. A really strong and ancient being. It shocked her to the core and even more so were the hunters. What about Bobby? What about Sam and Dean? She paused in her thoughts, when did she start caring about them again? Tearing that away she began to speak once more.

"She was the one that sent me here. All because I didn't want to help her."

They continued walking, the anger radiating off of the incredibly dressed version of her from her words but silence rode the whole walk until they arrived at the front gate of a huge mansion with what appeared to be a pet out front. Problem was it had been a human, blood shot eyes, frothing mouth and a sadistic grin as it roared at the end of its leash. Around its neck it was labeled Butcher: Infected.

Moving past and inside, they didn't bother going into any of the lavish rooms but instead up the winding grand staircase and in the master bedroom. Once the door was closed Alex went to the bed and opened the duffel. Garments not normally to her taste were within, high-end designers that were probably long dead in this year. "The dark blue dress is what you will be wearing today."

"What for?" she asked as she pulled it out, finding that the long v neck went to her belly button and the bottom hit her mid thigh from observation as she began to dress.

"If you are going to be in this time you have to dress like me. Otherwise he'll know. Then again he might know anyways. You reek of time travel. Not to mention you will need to move around to know what you need to do."

"And what do I need to do?"

Future Alex stared hard at herself naked and dressing. "Say yes to Astarte and not Lucifer."

888

**New Orleans**

**7:58PM**

Randy had relocated permanently to this place since he had left the asylum. He had found it like home in a way, taking residence in an area full of much greenery than the rest. It was calming and he preferred not to know what was going on in the world right now. Whenever he went into town to gather supplies there was always something horrible to be discovered. Entering his home he locked the door and turned on the light. Heading into the kitchen to set down the paper bag full of groceries he stopped facing the inside of the fridge while unloading.

Grabbing the blade etched in Hugtendalfer from his birth parents from underneath the egg carton holder he quickly turned with it raised in the air to find on the other side of the counter Astarte. Lowering it slowly and returning it back to its hiding place he closed the fridge and rested his hands flat on the counter top. "Didn't think I'd see you again."

"This isn't a planned visit," Astarte said, "I know how you feel about all this, the rising Apocalypse and my position in it. It's exactly the reason I left you alone, because I know you'll fight when you feel you have to." She moved slowly around the counter with feline grace until she was standing in front of Randy. She remembered the taste of his fine silvery blood and it made her whole body purr with sensation.

"You also know who I am and have respectfully and wisely stayed out of my affairs, but the people I have chosen as my allies are incapable of accepting me for who I am. It may come as a shock that I have chosen a handful of humans but without them I would not be here and I am not altogether ungrateful for that. It's one of the reasons I have not interfered with their free will when I could so easily do so because they are bound by blood to me and I to them. But they fear me and what they fear they cannot love. I know you have witnessed what I am capable of and that it disheartens you because of the hopes you have towards humanity, but I also know how deeply our roots are connected to this blessed orb so many call Earth and that does not count for nothing between us. If I were not as merciless as the blizzard winter and treacherous as the sea would you take me as your lover? Knowing also that I can be as compassionate as hearth or harbor against such harshness?"

Randy stared back at her. "We Hugtendalfer's tend to have tendencies where we do things that would render most to depart or look down on us. I am assuming you are looking to me for something more than a feed or am I wrong?" he noticed how she was moving her body, how her words were old and ancient yet he understood, how could he not? It was his nature. "Not to say that I am not declining, just clarification." His patent smile played on his face, one of kindness and yet one that she had seen before when they were at the asylum and she had fed from him.

"Clarification?" She brought up her hand and gently traced her fingers along his jaw. "Is something you do not need."

Her lips brushed lightly and briefly over his. She knew Randy would not resist her and she needed to taste his lips against hers, she needed to taste so much more. His body was warm and inside there was a light that existed in no human that shone brightly against everything else in the room. And that smile of his brought back memories of the earlier days when she was freed from Hell, when she could barely control the hunger that constantly gnawed at her like a ravenous beast. When she was free of these silly and foolish emotions that now plagued her thoughts and decisions. In a flash she was pure rage, Moriarty, the one she had entrusted to turn her human counterpart into a bloodthirsty beast had done his job poorly and allowed for too much time for her to gain fond memories and desires.

In that very same lapse of time her wrath was gone, drowned by the base need to gain what she had been denied longer than she should have allowed. Astarte smiled back at him; shyness did not prevent her from purposefully showing the lust in her eyes. As she moved the intoxicating scent of flowers and spices trailed and floated around her, ever present but now more so like a flower beckoning sweetly to a bee. It was a purely involuntary action produced by her own need to see Randy without any of his clothes and covered in the sweat of his efforts.

"I need someone who understands as you do, I saw you first amidst all that swirling black smoke. You were my beacon."

Raising his brows he flicked his orbs to her lips. His hands went to her waist and he swallowed long and hard. That kiss practically stole all his breath and control; it made him want her like crazy. "If we do this...will this leave me damaged?" The question was for the sake of his emotional humanity. He had given before and wound up with one night stands, fear that he was a freak if he got hurt and they saw his blood as well as just being rejected if he wasn't giving enough. If he was being used, he wanted to know if it would leave him in a state that would render him useless with the world he lived in now.

"I will take nothing from you that I haven't taken before," she promised leading him away to his bedroom by the hem of his shirt.

Astarte easily slipped out of the flowy summer dress that hung on her lithe body before she eased Randy down onto the bed. Her pale freckled skin almost glistened with light too faint for most people to be able to see and her inhuman eyes swam with ethereal light like a thousand stars were trapped and muted within them. Smoothly she kneeled down, scraping her nails on Randy's jeans, feeling out the bulge that was beginning to harden. Effortlessly Astarte unfastened the button and lowered the zipper, pulling the denim down over his narrow hips along with his boxers and ridding him of the garments completely. Laying kisses upon his thigh Astarte teased and licked at the dip of his pelvic bone, tasting the salt on his skin and the nervous energy of his anticipation.

Randy could feel himself grow harder with how much she was toying with him. He stared down at her and watched, wondering if this was real. With the lick she did, it was definitely real. There was no way his mind could fake this up. Sure he had plenty of dreams that were steamy but nothing this way. Tilting his head back he groaned. This was the one that he had seen kill with practically a blink, turned an asylum into botanical gardens that would surely tear apart any demon in its way and go about the world adding no doubt to the chaos at hand. But he didn't care, right now she spoke to him in kisses and attentiveness. She needed him and Randy was happy to help her out with whatever she needed at the moment.

Encasing him in her mouth she sucked up his length to his head, mouthing the velvety skin, flicking and wrapping her tongue around him like she was tasting a lollipop. Down and up she went in several smooth motions, each sound of pleasure he made whetting her own appetite. A growl trickled out of her mouth with pleasure and her lips tightened around his thickness while her tongue dragged up and down opposite what her mouth was doing.

It was as if he was hit with tidal waves. Nothing but sensation rode him and Randy began to wonder just how much of himself would be able to hold on. Thrusting up when she growled, his body was already beginning to coat with a thin layer of sweat. After times of her taking his blood this was more than he imagined. He had yearned for it then and was receiving it now. Randy grunted and swore...he thought he had tricks of the trade. This was showing him just how much he wasn't even close to reaching her level.

After several intense moments Astarte brought him to his full, swallowing down the salty sweet liquid without a drop spilled. Giving him a thorough cleaning with her mouth she crawled on top of him, far from done with the elf, her lips softly suckled at his neck, tasting his pulse and sweat. Randy's heart was hammering away like a runaway freight train leaving a smile on Astarte's lips when she started to grind herself on top of the elf's shaft.

With a sigh she felt him press hard against her core and lifting enough to let him rise she allowed him inside, lowering down to the hilt to engulf him in her wet heat. Astarte's eyelashes fluttered while her lips parted in a small 'o' of pleasure then her hips began to slide up and down in beautifully smooth and rhythmic circles.

888

**2014**

An hour had passed since they had spoken and her future self had to step out to take care of business. Alex couldn't say yes to Astarte. She couldn't say yes to Lucifer. Sure she saw what Lucifer did but that didn't mean she had to say yes to either. As far as she was concerned the world would be well off if she said no to both and kept herself to herself. Moving to the mirror to look at herself, she had taken the liberty of examining the room's contents. Clothes, jewelry, weaponry and shoes. She loved the taste but there was no way in her time she would be able to afford it. But it appeared that now there was no form of payment. Take it all and live the way you wanted.

The sound of talking came from down the hallway and she headed to the door to overhear. "What have you been doing today Alex?" the man voiced.

"Oh you know, the usual. Not much I can do while you are out and about. I'm practically useless now that Astarte is dead and your plans have taken over."

"Don't think like that. You are plenty useful to me." A pause and it almost sounded as if there was a sigh before the speaking started back up again. "What aren't you telling me? I am not blind."

Alex furrowed her brows. She wouldn't dare say that she was here, that would make it pointless to even say what she did to her. There was faith that she wouldn't ever backstab herself. "It seems we have a gift from 2009. Me. Astarte sent little ol' me to the future to no doubt get me on her side. Pathetic isn't it?" Her own laugh floated back to her ears and she glared. Why did she have faith? Would she ever trust herself either? So stupid.

Turning to head for the window, grabbing up a few weapons in the duffel that she was given before climbing out and down. It was not that easy to really escape, as there were guards and _pets_ roaming around. But it was managed. Once Alex was out from the grounds of the mansion and traveled down an empty upturned street. If anything this would have been the highlight of Broadway. All the posters and costumes strewn around. Popcorn and beverage containers discarded on the sidewalk with cigarette butts overloading them. At an intersection she decided to take a right only to regret doing so at the noises of fighting and wails of agony.

Alex removed one of the blades from her bag on her shoulder and held her guard. Coming up to the source fear struck her. It took a lot to really scare Alex, but this...this was horrific. Her blue orbs stared at the side view of Dean Winchester, manic, practically bloodthirsty..."Dean..." she breathed in shock.

Plunging the knife into the dark haired man Dean gave a sharp twist of his wrist and a lift upwards, blood splurted out across his arm in a thick wash of red, effectively gutting the man while he screamed and convulsed each time Dean swiftly stabbed him until he left him to bleed out on the pavement. Dean's head jerked behind him, eyes blazing livid green, unnaturally so. Wiping the bloodied blade that had so many years ago belonged to a red headed witch named Von he stood staring at Alex. Unmoving. Unblinking.

When he moved it almost seemed a trick of the eye he had been standing so perfectly still and the air nearly rippled around him when he raised his hand towards Alex. The gesture though unfriendly and warding appeared innocent enough but in less than a second Alex was flung effortlessly into the broken doorjamb of a nearby building where the splintered wood ate into her back. Pinned in place like an insect Dean approached her warily with hatred and confusion on his face, this was too easy unless it was some sick trick.

His features showed how heavily the last several years had weighed on him. A grizzled face sported more stubble and he had allowed his hair to grow out a touch more than what was normal for him which only added to his wild appearance despite his clothing choices still being the same with worn jean and a heavy canvas jacket which looked like it carried knife and bullet holes. Dean stared silently at Alex a moment longer his green eyes bright like glass with flecks of gold in them. And while he stared he listened all around him, something was off about this, Alex was undoubtedly terrified of him. Alex was an arrogant bitch and while she did her best to avoid Dean after learning what had happened to him he doubted she was very much afraid of him.

Closing the gap between them he grabbed Alex by the throat and pulled her from the wall. "Scream and I'll kill you," he growled with narrowed eyes. There was something wring with this Alex, his grip on her lightened and a strange expression came over his face like he was listening to something far away and forgot who was in front of him. Dropping his hand from her neck he took her hand firmly and lead her behind him. "You're coming with me."

Alex stared at Dean who was leading her like he was a beast she never wanted to run into. "What happened to you Dean?" she asked without really knowing she spoke her thought out loud.

He was different. Horrible. Normally she would be interested and intrigued but he actually scared her for the first time ever. He had murder in his eyes, blood on his hands, ragged rage and thirst and she saw most of it was for her. Now she knew that currently she wasn't that bad, she was only playing games but she could see the hate for her future self. She shared it too just recently. Where was he taking her? Why didn't he kill her? Alex thought her life was about to end that moment back there and now he was taking her by the hand like Tarzan through the messed up jungle. One other thing plagued her...how did he get that kind of ability?

Dean's grip tightened wavering dangerously close to breaking Alex's hand as a warning to keep her mouth shut. They travelled several minutes down a main street left abandoned to rusted out cars and toppled chunks of buildings before banking down a long alleyway and climbing below and under a bridge of rubble. Climbing out the other side Dean briefly released Alex's hand, he had dragged her nearly all the way through the complicated labyrinth of destruction and decay out of annoyance that she wasn't moving faster.

Unfortunately for her they were far from getting where they needed to go and soon Dean had Alex's hand in his and was leading her through a lonely and ominous path that was half shut out from the sun. The road was silent and it was difficult to know how much time had passed for sure when the sun was lost from sight completely. Finally Dean turned right and opened a heavy steel backdoor and when Alex was inside he locked it behind him. Inside was so pitch black that it would have anyone cursing at how difficult it was to see but Dean walked easily enough towards a flight of stairs that descended steeply to a lower level and in this he showed a small margin of patience for Alex in helping her down the difficult steps.

Passed another door Dean flicked on a light switch that cast the inner room in a harsh crisp light. The walls had shelves of rations and ammo and bundles of newspapers were strewn around haphazardly with startling and horrendous headlines inked across them. There were no windows and they way they came was the only way out.

Jerking her hand out of Dean's, she stepped back away from him. Knowing full well that she wasn't leaving with him there. Her eyes shifted and she took in the news articles, face relaxing and horror showing in her eyes. The world had really gone to Hell. War, disease and even things informing of the Apocalypse and that the devil was among them. There was even a picture captured of her mauling a few people, one of them was Bobby and she nearly broke down in tears. She may not seem to care for him, but in some way she still did no matter what Hell had done to her.

Turning to face the Winchester she was furious. "Why bring me here? What the hell happened to you? Give me answers since no one else will tell me straight."

Dean glared at the brunette, a violent flash of anger passed over his face that his eyes refused to let go of. "What year are you from?" he asked, disregarding Alex's own questions as to why she was put in this situation.

Whatever she wanted to know wasn't important in Dean's eyes because he knew she was only here to see and learn that if she didn't make the right choice the whole world was screwed. Dean had his chance but he wouldn't cave and give into the angels demands, instead he sided with Astarte and believing that Lucifer could be stopped Sam said yes in a suicidal scheme to beat the Devil. But Astarte wasn't as strong as she had once been all those centuries ago before she was caged in Hell. One Goddess could not compete with the combined might of Lucifer one of God's most powerful angels and the Anti-Christ and when they found a similar ritual to the one that sent her to Hell before Astarte gave the rest of her power to her prodigy before they took it from her.

That prodigy was Dean.

When Astarte died and Lucifer took over that was when the rest of the angels left everyone stuck on the Miserable Rock to fend for themselves. It didn't take long for the human race to be culled down to a few small desperate groups of survivors that were scattered like leaves on the wind. Dean found out the hard way that he was better off alone after he killed most of the people in the group he had belonged to a couple of years ago. Since then he had learned some control and there was always plenty enough to kill so in the rare chance he stumbled upon a pure human he would leave them alone and alive.

"I said, what year?!" Dean growled in the instant he forced Alex against the concrete wall, slamming his hand flat against the wall next to her head and staring hard into her frightened eyes. He didn't have any patience for her argumentative mood, not when he wanted to snap her neck with his bare hands, the amount of will it took not to do it was exhaustive.

Alex stared dead into his fiery green orbs so close and she swallowed, trying to contain herself. Never had she been scared of Dean and he really scared her now. "2009. Something had happened at Bobby's house and my parents took me. Astarte brought me here after saving me from them." A beat. "Now...are you going to tell me what happened to you? I believe I deserve to know why the world is so fucked up and why I am more of a bitch than usual. I even hate myself. She told me all hunters were dead and that she...I mean I guess I...killed Astarte. How is that even possible? I would love some answers right now if you would back off and stop growling at me. If anything I know you are not one of those things I have witnessed since I got here so stop acting like one of them."

Inhaling she couldn't help her eyes harden a little, she was not going to be bullied no matter how much Dean scared her. She wasn't going to duck under his arm, she was going to stay right there and regain what semblance of herself she had left. She did not go to Hell and lose her humanity just for her to be scared like a lower level and in front of the one man that she lost it over. He hated her. He despised her and she could see just how much he would love to be ripping her to shreds right now.

"Whatever I did in this time and over time to make you hate me so much like this, put it the fuck aside. I know I have not been pleasant to you in my time because I just got out of Hell and everything. But I am not her. Not yet unless I get some answers _now_. And I would prefer you do so because I would not want to end up like this. Let alone have the world end up like this. If you don't mind stow the asshat shit."

Alex could feel her knees shaking slightly, just how focused he was she could practically read his thoughts and just feel all that was coming from him. It made her want to fear him like she feared her parents if not more. At least they would keep her alive after long periods of torturing where Dean would kill her and enjoy drawing it out. Biting her tongue for further words she blinked a few times and actually found that she couldn't hold eye contact anymore and looked to the side.

2009. That was the tipping point. Big decisions were going to be made in that year that would change the world forever. A somewhat satisfied smile twitched at the corner of his mouth when Alex turned her face away but it was short lived as he pushed himself away from her, his anger palpable and radiating off of him in waves that one could feel lash up against them. "The world's fucked up because of us. We made the wrong choices...but you take the cake, you left when the rest of us stood together. You say you haven't changed into her yet, but you already have because you've always been her. You're just another selfish bitch that wanted her way and was too bull headed to listen to anyone else, you try to play the good guy card but I guess that didn't suit you well enough when Lucifer came along with a better offer."

Dean's fists clenched and unclenched, the muscles working to hold back any impulse that he was feeling. Rolling his shoulders he took in a hard breath and huffed it out like an annoyed animal. He knew there was reason that Astarte sent Alex back, but he wanted to kill her so bad, to wrap his hands around her neck and strangle the life out of her. If she wasn't alive back then she couldn't be alive now, it was sound logic.

"Astarte wasn't strong enough not after what _you_ and Lucifer did to her. He found some ritual to pull whatever made her a Goddess a Goddess out of her and you were all too gung-ho to use it on her because you both hated each other so much. It killed whatever was left of Von too. Sam couldn't deal with knowing that so he got stupid-" He turned his back on Alex, it had been a long time since he allowed himself to think about how everything he loved was torn from him. Orbs like green glass Dean ran his tongue over his teeth looking anything but human, he checked over his shoulder with eyes smoldering. "I'm so much worse than _one of those things."_

**Author End Note:**** Thanks for reading! Hope you are still enjoying it! Please review to let us know what you think, helps us write as we are straggling at the moment with muses and being busy. :)**_  
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**-Wynter and Tori**


	19. Chapter 19

**June 26, 2009**

**5:13AM**

**New Orleans**

Randy was breathing hard. They had been going at it for hours and he could feel his body cooling down. Feeling the actions of not resting and continuous muscle working. Staring up at his ceiling he swallowed and looked at Astarte with a look of wonderment. "That was..."

He couldn't even finish. Never had he had sex like that before. And being what he was he knew how amazing it was to be with him, but to be with Astarte was the highest experience he could ever go. That anyone could ever go. Looking past her to the clock on the nightstand he saw the time. 4 hours of non-stop sex. Randy had taken his time with her, giving her attention and making her feel the full effects of being with his kind and then she would take over and he couldn't even remember his own name.

"After all that I don't think I'll ever be the same." A laugh left him and then a tired smile. Relaxing made it very clear just how worn out his body was and he knew that he would have to sleep for at least a whole day to recover physically.

888

_What?_

Alex blinked, trying to process everything he just said and what he just called her. "Excuse me, but I don't think you have any right to talk to me like that. I haven't gone what you have gone through, I have no inclination of ever saying yes to Lucifer no matter how fancy he wraps his plans or offer to me in fucking bow. And I hate Astarte sure but I don't intend on doing something like that to her just because Lucifer is holding a leash that isn't there! Did you ever think then that maybe our wrong choices could have been avoided if _someone_ had found a way to get me out or better yet find a way to keep me down? I admit I got a little crazy with the fun once I got up but I did NOT cause this. Not yet. So damn it I am not her. I have never been that cruel to want to turn the world like this. I might act like I hate you guys but I can never truth be stop loving you guys. Especially you Dean."

Her voice broke and she had to fight back the tears as she cursed and sucked in her lips, kicking out at whatever was on the floor in her path. Alex glared at the floor.

"Don't you think I have screwed up enough? Apparently so much that even before Astarte killed my parents they still had the knack to find a way to see me as a screw up. How can I be good or bad? Finding a medium right now where I am at is a joke. I'm messed up royally inside of my skin and I can't help it. I don't know how to help it so I act in the only way I know. The only way I have been carved." A beat. "Frankly I don't even know who I am anymore and that is why I am doing the things I am doing in 2009." Licking her lips she brought her eyes up. "You should know that _this_ is how I am when I really damn hard telling the truth. But if it's to get it out in some way and make you not hate me or not kill me enough right now for me to figure this all out. To fix the choices that were made-Can you please tell me more? What all happened? What do I need to do?"

Dean didn't flinch against her flood of emotions and his heart did not tremble or break for her, he was long past feeling anything of the sort. It was like his face was set in stone as he watched her break in front of him, it wasn't the first time she had and likely not the last. She was lost like them all but none of them were the goddamn Anti-Christ. They were all cursed one way or another but they still wanted to save the planet, Alex just wanted to watch everything burn.

"Say yes to Astarte, or convince Dean to say yes to Michael. At least then we can stand a chance." He shook his head at her then because he knew it was a lost cause. "But I know you won't, and Dean won't either because I didn't. What else could you possibly want to know, it's not going to change your mind because you're going to think that there's some other way of fixing this when there isn't." His voice was deceptively cool but there was hate and menace laced into each breath like a serpent. "I'll never stop hating you, Alex, ever. But since Astarte has a sense of humor she sent you instead of someone else, she has a reason and if it was to kill you she would have done it herself." Now all Dean needed to do was figure out what that reason was because convincing her it was right to agree with Astarte was going to be a bitch.

She knew he was right. There was no way either of them would say yes. Alex didn't react to his hate and she knew that there was nothing in the world if she wanted to, that could ever fix things between them. Or anyone possibly..."Then if she hasn't killed me for a reason, why are you not stepping up to the plate? If you want me dead so bad I don't think Astarte sending me here for a _reason_ would ever stop anyone from doing it themselves. I'd rather be under Alistair's knife again for years before ever considering to say yes to any side. So far you haven't explained much and maybe that makes me think that the world might not be worth keeping the way it is if that's everyone's case here. How do I know that it won't end up this way as well if Astarte gets her way? I'll be controlled either way and the intentions of the owner might not even be known by you if I choose a different path. Did you ever think of that other than revenge?"

Dean grabbed a hold of Alex's throat with such force there was no way she could have screamed. His free fist buried itself in her abdomen, the singular punch rupturing blood vessels and upsetting the balance of organs and if there was not such a tight seal around Alex's neck blood would have spurted out like a weak hose. Lifting the brunette as if she were a feather her body flew closer to that of a rock into the opposing wall where it crumpled in a heap. A heavy boot found itself in Alex's gut next, then swiftly her face was kicked back with a snap alarmingly her neck did not break in that instant. Planting his foot down on her side Dean reached over for her hand and gripping it viciously tight he pulled and twisted until there was a distinctive pop and her entire arm went limp. Whatever sound she made was short lived when Dean lifted her onto her feet and landed a punch squarely to her jaw, pulling her head back by her hair to alternate the punch with his other fist, this continued until her face was good and bloody.

Pressing her against the wall Dean's fingers slowly wrapped around Alex's left collarbone, nails scraping away the first layers of skin until the fingers punctured through the rest and he began to pull at the bone until small fractures appeared in three places. Stepping back from his work Dean swung his arm out to the side, Alex's body followed that path into the adjacent wall and then swung upwards into the ceiling where Dean kept her suspended before he lowered his arm and let her free fall to the cement floor. A broken mess of what she was Dean grabbed her by her good arm and dragged her towards the door, out and upwards letting her feel each step bite and scrape into her body. Leaving the building he dragged her down to the end of the alley.

"I'm going to show you something," was all he said when he lifted her across his back and started to carry her down a broken roadway.

Her breathing was ragged and barely there. She could practically feel her own pulse thready and yet she was still alive. Every part of her screamed and burned but she couldn't move. Alex knew she couldn't scream or say anything, her eyes were heavy and with each step Dean took blood dripped from her face. Nothing could get the fact that Dean had hurt her and in the way he had it made her freaked out. Just what kind of monster had Dean been turned into?

_'You deserve this...you bitch...'_ the words seemed to come into her brain and she could hear it like an old memory. A familiar companion that had long since left her but it was nothing but that. A figment and not real. By the time Dean set her down she made a sound like she was going to vomit blood when he grabbed her hair to make her look at something. The problem was...Alex had no idea what she was looking at or supposed to see.

This place held no fond memories for Dean. It was a flattened heap of rubble flanked on all sides by slabs of concrete and brick and if one knew what to look for splotches of brown stains marked where blood had been spilt a long time ago. Dean was tucked into a crouch next to Alex, never loosening his grip, staring out in the space as he remembered what took place, felt the essence left behind and saw the faint wisps of that essence take form like pale incomplete phantoms before dissappearing entirely within the span of a blink.

"Take a minute to soak it in sweetheart. This is where it all went down, it's annoyingly ironic how everything happens in New York, huh? But there we were duking it out. It's the only thing left of _her_ and you'd be a liar to say you can't feel it, that energy, or echo or whatever the fuck it is, it surrounds this whole place and nothing ever comes near it because it's fucking afraid to. I knew Astarte better than any of you, even Sam had a tough time getting a grasp on what she was, this confused and horrible monster that mocked his memories of Von. So tell me, what is it you feel?"

_She wasn't anything like Von but she wasn't evil like we all thought, she tried to save all of us_, Dean thought wearily while he held Alex's head firmly in place.

Staring out, inhaling with a struggle Alex felt like all the earth had died in that one spot. All life had been wiped out and it was all her fault. Darkness had become of the entire world and there was no light, no nothing. A memory had wracked her brain and her body jerked with the power of it. Down in the pits of Hell, in the spot where no one dared adventure. The memory of her meeting Astarte and binding. Alex felt like her veins were exploding with pure light and she actually found herself screaming and not able to stop. The scream ripped out sounding like a prehistoric animal.

Alex somehow grabbed Dean's hand despite how badly she was and fell back into his hand. Staring up into his face as she relived the horrible memory and then she saw it. The battle that had happened. Her eyes rolled black and blue and she wasn't viewing from her body she was viewing as if she stood between them like the air itself.

_Astarte was standing before a decked out war clothed Alex. Hair up and blood and dirt on her face like paint. Guns, swords and knives hanging all over her as if this was a war in another country. Alex was breathing hard and she dropped the machine she was holding. Her eyes the color of a perfect blue moon in the middle, no pupil, as the black had tendrils to the color as if it wanted to touch the magnificent hue, both colors battling but never winning. Different than they had been in years._

_Hand snapping out as a cry of anger came, the power surged toward the wounded Astarte. The Goddess gave everything she had. No one could possibly win and then he came. Walking from behind Alex, Sam grinned, dressed as usual but he wasn't Sam. Not entirely. Once his hand touched Alex, snaked down her own arm, right on right, fingers on her fingers and his frame pressed against hers to make them one. That was when the power grew overtaking the other spectrum._

_Others were around, others fighting the enemies and yet nothing mattered in that moment but what was going on between them. The power crawled towards Astarte as her hair flew in directions around and behind her, both hands out in front as her eyes swirled._

Alex stopped screaming and stopped breathing. The moment of death, she was inside Astarte's body as she felt the hatred, she felt the power, she felt just how much it took to kill such a being. To kill a Goddess. Feeling Dean release her hair for some reason, Alex's body fell limp to the earth, eyes staring endlessly out to the very spot where she had been burned like an arson lighting up a tree. Ashes and gone...The wisps of essence that tended to remain in the land coaxed the images of a world better off, no one died, nothing suffered and no one was destroyed to think something else. Something destructive or wrong.

It was Astarte's world. What she wanted to do. Alex saw that within and she inhaled sharply. Sitting up in horrible pain and she frantically looked around, she was no longer where she had been. She was still injured beyond repair and she found she was alone. No Dean. Back where she had started. Laying back down Alex curled into a ball, as much as she could as she shook now and then from the shock. From the pain.

Astarte appeared in a flurry of wind and dust before Alex's fetal form. Randy had satisfied her for now but there was only so much she could do with him before she broke her promise to prevent any real change in him. Certainly he had been changed, but the effects were not tragically drastic. She could see too that Alex's mood was changed from her recent experiences. "What do you think of Lucifer's future?" she queried.

What did she think? Alex could barely move and speak and she was asked what she thought? Showing her eyes to Astarte she knew the only way to communicate right now. _I think I will not let that happen. There are times where I know it doesn't seem I don't care for the world and the people but I would be lying if I agreed with that. I also care for Sam and Dean...they shouldn't have to turn in that direction. And I felt that power I felt it all._

Inhaling roughly and closing her eyes she swallowed long and hard.

_I'll help you...but I also need your help...to fix me._ Alex opened her eyes. _Not just physically...but all of me._

888

Dean woke to the sound of shattering glass and gunfire, he and Sam only taking a brief second to share a glance before they raced to the front to check on Bobby and Sorcha. Thumbing back the hammer Dean immediately took aim at the figures that were clambering over the window ledges, the lights remained on overhead but it was unnerving how a heavy shadow preceded and followed the creatures, dimming the lights and casting everything else in blackness. Firing, Dean didn't think about not shooting, weather the iron bullets he had in his gun worked or not wasn't a detail he had time to consider. It was shoot and hope that the creepy bastards went down while trying to think of an escape or stand there like a dumb shit wondering what the hell they were. They looked human enough, but there was something weird about their faces that he couldn't make up his mind about.

"What the hell are they Bobby?"

"Does it look like I have a damn clue?" the elder hunter retorted shooting one of the things that ventured too close to him. It stopped and bobbed its head down and over to the side with a strange inhuman grace, obviously unaffected by whatever rounds Bobby was using in his gun. None the less it was apparently irritated at the hunter as it hissed at him but as it readied to lunge Sorcha threw herself at it and locked her jaws around it's throat, swinging her weight down her fangs shredded the thing's neck as she pulled it down with her. "Hell of a dog," Bobby observed as the hunters grouped close together with eyes on all sides to stop the creatures from flanking them.

Dean loaded another clip in his gun and chambered a round before firing. "How the fuck are we going to get out of here?" Whatever these things were they weren't exactly easy to see, their shapes sifting in and out of the shadows now to the point Dean couldn't tell where they were standing and where they weren't. The only way he could tell was if one got close enough for him to shoot properly, and that was a little too close for his comfort.

Sam was using his gun. That was probably the problem. Realizing what he was doing made him furrow his brows. He was also a werewolf and they needed to save all the ammo they had left. Dropping it and looking at his wounds he found that they were reasonable, they had to be with how he was shot with lots of silver. But not entirely healed, maybe hours or the rest of the day. Deciding instantly Sam stepped forward. Feeling Dean's hand on his arm he turned his head to his brother knowing his eyes were the swirling amber and his teeth were changing. Giving a nod of understanding Sam ran out and tore with his hands at anything he grabbed.

He knew they were thrown off but then they looked almost pleased with their faces that made him slightly dizzy. Letting loose a loud growl he snapped with his teeth and continued as he heard the gunshots firing around him.


	20. Note

The status of this story has been put as ended due to rewriting the entire series. You can read the changes and revamped version under the title Feel So Numb Redux. Sorry to disappoint, but we personally weren't happy with things here and there and found over time we have gained a better understanding of our own characters. What they would and would not do, as well as what we think the Canon characters would do compared to how it was written in the show with Sam's darkness and Dean's torment from Hell. Thank you for reading and we are happy that you enjoyed it so far, we hope you will like the new and improved version just as well if not more.

-Tori & Wynter


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